There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

Ref: Chichkoo is what I lovingly call my daughter, kiddo my brother, amma and taatee my late maternal grandparents, and OA is the other adult in the family.

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Mar 14, 2014

PK and politics

Up until this point, there was question, curiosity, now I kind of fell in line with his thinking and then there goes that initial resistance of what the hell has he to say

Nirbhaya chattam - the incident he met Swapnika, " I still remember the incident, it was the time when I was carrying Sreya and knew it was going to be a girl and completely distraught at having a girl baby... Her request to PK, well quite a lot of similar feelings... "I don't think he is lying".

Killing the guy who poured acid was killed, then speaking about Vigilante justice.. THIS IS THE POINT THAT HAS NOT COME TO MY MIND, BUT THINKING BEYOND NORMAL IS A SIGN OF OUT OF ORDINARY...

Nalgonda Flourosis -

Naani Paalkivala - BJP, again someone I had looked up to... PK, is well-read.

bhaavam mukhyamaa, bhaasha mukhyamaa... - man this guy is getting to be unstoppable.

well, I no longer look at his speech critically... it is just a part of anger, anguish, that has been happening to us for while, so many questions, so many thoughts and it is just coming out of his mouth, so i listen and the critic in me rests...

just going with the flow... this guy is awesome, to have so many people across the globe just waiting for him to talk, just hope this flow sustains and something good comes out.

Tactical silence on JP or Loksatta or his invite and even CBN or TDP but being open to joining hands to take out congress roots from AP, still sticking to his brother and giving a clear sign, while he is anti-congress, he wont tolerate nonsense on him.

The message is clear.. no JUMPERS OR JOKERS... it has not been a party that cropped up just now, I know what has happened, what will happen and what should happen, so BEWARE...

What is to be made of from my limited knowledge and analysis is he is willing to fight a bigger evil "congress" the primary task for now with the support of any and every party and any which means it might take and then taking it from there, eliminating the junk, filtering it further as it comes... or that is what he leads us to believe at this point. He realizes he cannot bring a change immediately and trying to do it in his own street smart way, commendable!

He just gave the first glimpse of what he wants it to be like, modifying it as he goes but involving people almost right from the inception... seems fair enough... what he primarily did is giving a voice to the thoughts of many on a forum only a rare few like him can bring it out loud without fear... an attempt that needs to praised and hoped for not be diluted or fizzed out.

sounds too damn good, seems to fight the bigger evil first joining whatever it takes and THEN work it out his way... way too good.

Good luck PK and most importantly Good luck AP.  He might or might not contest but he has got an impact on people to look for his endorsement to vote for a candidate irrespective of the party he supports and by and large, it might be TDP for this time with a thumping majority.

A historic milestone in AP politics - Launch of Jana Sena

Same anticipation and uncontrolled craze with a hell a lot of expectations and tension in air around August before 2009 elections waiting for chiru's jenda, agenda and what not... and a few months before the 2014 election, the younger brother creates the same confusion, if anything only more putting his personal life in the mix.

Waiting for him to talk the talk and see him start the walk to walk the political grounds... not at all excited but immensely CURIOUS!

As I listen to him talk, this is what comes to my mind... want to keep a journal of what I feel, felt at this moment..

Illemo dooram... chetilo deepam ledu, gundelaninda dhairyam undi... dhairyam oopiri... Tilak poem.


To live greatly, you have to risk greatly.

Speaking his heart and mind!

Baanisani kaadu kaabatti... Doraa nee kaalmoktaa (Direct hit to Chiru) Time for truth... exactly 5 years ago, Chiru partylo.. annayyaki edurostaana, annayya meeda kopam vastundaa raadu... vaallevaro delhilo chesina paniki annayya meeda enduku kopam choopistaam.. kaakapote mana kharma, anyaayiniki, akramaalaki nenu edureldaam ante ee roju nenu annayyaki... paristiti kalpinchindi evaru??

Cong High Command... (BASELESS).. he isn't a kid.

Chaala tucchamainavi??  abhimaanam mundu prema mundu nilustaaya... NOPE..

visugocchindi, asahyam vesindi, vennumaka leni vaalla meeda kopam vacchindi... nirdishtamaina alochina vidhaanam toti, Sudeerghamaina lakshyam toti.. 25 years - Jana Sena..

2nd - choostam, bharistaam, premistaam.. taravaata emi chestaam????
ippudocchi emi chestaav
2019ki raa
poyina saari chesinavi chaalu ellellu
party pettu kaani telangana cheppu -- meerevaru??? (IDI KEVVU)

noble soul, pavitraatma, Diggy Raja... PK nuvvu party pettamma, but elli congresslo kalipeyyi :-p.. adedo gangaa nadilaaga...

nenneeku elaa kanipistunnaanu -- MEE ANNALAAGA..

kcr.. andhrodi kotta dukaanam -- GOOD ANSWER.

pirikitanam teliyadu, vennu choopanu - LET US SEE!

nenevariki eduru eltunnaanu.. annayyaka, akrama raajakeeyaanikaa... DILEMMA..

intlo evariki teliyadu... CAULIFLOWERS KANIPISTUNNAAYAA?

Personal life - 3 kids..Convenient politics, threat to death.. desamaa, samaajam... kutumbam chinnadi... IDEALLY SPEAKING, GOOD.

fought with Trivikram - one friend who stood behind me

about CPF (common man protection force) - it is Janasena.... a friend, raju ravi teja, a 5-year thought process with the friend on various issues..

The inciting event... put in jail for going in one-way.. felt the pain of a common man... triggered an interest in people and the society, the something inside and something outside mentality, eve teasing for ladies in the family, the feelings intensified..

Telangana cheritra.. kottagaa premocchi chadavaledu kontamandi laaga... (COMPLETELY KEVVU)

evolution as a rebel, trying out various things... GOOD FLOW OF SPEECH, HEARTFELT.

Experimenting with self even if when he amassed wealth, would he still be able to question the same way..??  YES...

pogottokodaaniki kotlu undi, parapati undi, pillala gurinchi teliyadu.. but am ready to leave it all.


Venkaiah Naidu - IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME SPEAKING THERE, MY HEART OUT... Fell for this line..

Jagga Reddy - good brotherhood spirit

Ch. Hanumanta Rao - moodu moodu pellilulu... Rahul Gandhi okka pelli kooda chesukolaa ... MALLI ESESESAADU :-p... kevvu kevvu kevvu...

Vyaktigata vimarsalu - WARNING... good.. by now my hands are hurting with the CLAPS and SCREAMS.. unfortunately cant whistle.

naa jeevitamlo etuvanti paristutullo chesukunnano naaku telusu...maanasika atyaa chaaram meeda nirbhaya chattam pettaali... VINNAPAM KOODA WARNING TYPLE UNDI... everything about this truly accepted.

KCR, daughter Kavitha "nuvvu, PK, oka bharata desa pauridigaa neeku party pette hakku undi" - nenu preminche telangana prajalaki, abhimaanulaki, cheppaala vaddaa maa vyaktigata vishayam.. amma nee kutumbaaniki kooda sambandham ledamma... idi kevvu.

questioning about money, questions about funds...please reply to that not to me but to Telangana leaders.. nannu titte pani pettukoku, repu ninchi mee intlo andaru tidataaru, meeru dabbuki account choopinche panilo undandi..

malli kevvu...

nannu titinaa, naa gurinchi elaanti vaartalu raasina, vyaktigatamgaa, vrutiparamgaa enni chesinaa... HE HAS GOT THE PULSE OF PEOPLE OR AT LEAST ME...

PEOPLE STILL FEEL IT IS TRIVIKRAM MARK SPEECH.. it might as well have had touches by RGV, that is  what I personally feel.

Mar 12, 2014

Movie Post

Shaadi Ke Side Effects - A good attempt, great acting by Farhan Akhtar and for some reason I am feeling bored of watching Vidya doing the same thing again and again and yet again...must say a disappointment

Heart Attack - A puri movie and maybe a hat-trick to Nitin if this one clicked... kissing a girl for an hour without any commitment expected, the hero has the guts to ask and the herione accepts putting another crazy condition and over all the total story is a complete time waste and total FastForward type of movie if you MUST watch it :).

Pizza II Villa - I liked it, based on the witch-craft theme and the supernatural element, good taking, some good performance and a small movie.. like!

Straight A's - A netflix pick, good watch.. when the brat of the family returns for his redemption, in the quest of his own ends, he sets things going haywire in his brother's family... 

Cutting For Stone - Abraham Verghese

A friend of mine happened to tell me about this book, that is the one to be discussed and encouraged me to read it with her..

Just loved the intricate story of love, passion, life, death, fears intermixed with religion, heist, politics, medicine, life in India, US, Ethiopia and things in general well woven..

Initial takeoff was a bit shaky for me but in all it is a wonderful tale of well captured and portrayed emotions..

An Indian nun, trained to be a nurse, shipped off to Africa to help the needy with her services along with a friend Anjali who dies of seasickness even before they reach the destination.  She meets a young doctor, nurses him out of his sickness and they both help the fellow passengers who get seasick.  By twist of fate, the doctor suggests that she join him in his hospital at "Mi Shun" hospital which gets to be called Missing by local people.  At first she declines but ends up at Missing where she serves for 7 years before she dies giving birth to twins.  How the twins are raised and how one of them ends up finding the story of his mother while the other ends up dead is the whole story.. lots of emotions well captured, too many angles dealt without any cluttering.. the big is huge but one does not really feel so...

one of the good reads.

Mar 10, 2014

Quirky is back :)

The crazy me is always dormant inspite of the sober, serious, sensible, sensitive masked me... lying around in house with body aches, no matter how much rest I took it just got worse and then quirky me gets up cleans up the house, vacuums, does dishes, cooks some spicy crunchy veg fritters and then feel a little better.  Hmmm... not just my mind, the body works crazily too :-p.

and the latest one being... just finished a cold water bath in 3 degrees centigrade weather outside.  Thanks to the apartment controlled heating system, the house gets heated up beyond what is needed and bathroom being the tiniest room with the same amount of heat circulated feels like sauna.. so inspite of the recuperating cough, sore throat, ear pain whatever, i feel a lot better with the cold water bath and back to reading a book peacefully after the happy kid snores..

and again, by mistake OA picked up both the audio and paper back version of Cutting for Stone, my current read.  While I began listening to it while doing the chores, I ended up reading it.  No matter what the feel of having the book in hand is irreplaceable for me...

the queen of quirks  rests... errr.. reads hitting snooze button to the oncoming sleep..

Pawan Party???

A few years ago, around early 2008, the rumors were rife about chiru's political entry with strong denials from his side, too many speculations by media, common man and everyone.. with one "saamaajika vargam" extremely happy for getting an identity which they felt was curbed by the other two reigning "castes".  If someone is as blind, deaf and mute to refute this opinion, then I would be glad to agree to disagree...

Finally amidst of much drama and hype, on August 26, 2008, chiru sir floated a party.  Seemed most promising, the manifesto, the popularity point of view, the star charisma, the groundwork by fans, etc., power packed campaigned by PK, all it did was split the vote bank, make a minor dent against all the bragging about wiping out records, making history, blah..blah..blaah...! and then a major dud when they decided to get back to Congress leaving people cheated... a major flop show!!!

and just about the time and around the corner for the next elections, the younger brother PK's new party rumors are so ripe and again the primary question concern is "if it is the intention to come into politics why float a different party and why not help a preset, predefined, best platform like Loksatta when there is an open invite from the chief himself???  On that note, I felt that JP's asking him to take over the reigns of the party is a bit too much but as an afterthought I appreciate his farsightedness and am loving the fact that JP is finally being proactive and roaring the way I expected him to perform since 2009.

Getting back to PK...No, I dont support his new party and it has got nothing to do with his 3rd marriage or whatever the latest count is or is going to be (purely personal) as long as all the parties are satisfied and no issues other than the foul-play crying by media and the political voyeurs or his association with his brother during PRP days and his silence thereafter which irked many.. it is just that I dont see the need for another party confusing people when the time now calls for STATE reorganization and working together for generations to come to lead a life of stability unlike the past 60 years or so, troubled togetherness which again might raise its ugly hood between seema and andhra regions or whatever...

let us wait and watch... so eagerly waiting for 14th or further announcement !!!

Mar 6, 2014

Down and out

The sick phase at home begins, the kid's wicket down as usual and then followed by me and then the late but latest entry OA who will invariably will be sicker than both of us put together but never stopping the claims about his "iron body" :-p and golden will whatever...

must agree that kid is an excellent patient, listens to her body, adjusts a lot, understands the consequences and behaves accordingly be it eating, drinking or taking meds.. touchwood.  The tough phase is when she begins to recuperate and I go down.. bwaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh... those energy reserves inversely proportional to mine just make the equation all the more tough... but before I complain too much she has been at her best at this point too, maybe I am craving for more rest and peace than deserved or taking the kid for granted too much and as the OA points out me being the worst patient is not making things better either... all woes put aside, I happened to watch a video of UD singing at a family get together and that brought back all the haunting memories making me feel worse than usual, digging up stuff, re-reading and thinking about the past.  One thought does not end there, jumps on to another and then another and to an unrelated topic totally, so in all a khichdi day :(...

the best point of it all is the way the kid is braving out her severe cough and being all too cool about it without making fuss... God bless kiddo, did I ever say or did I ever stop saying that you are the bestestest thing that ever happened to us.

i know i am blabbering but isnt that what I keep doing these days anyways.

Feb 21, 2014

Boiling, seething...

I just happened to watch a Live telecast on NTV, an interview with JP and the blood boils, the psycho anchor, Kommineni Srinivas Rao or whatever, to me kind of represented the face of current day media and senseless herd mentality people.  I cannot suffer fools or tolerate for long, hats off to the 2 guests who bore the torture in the early hours of the day, i actually pity them both.

 If I were to list out one person whom I could entrust to my daughter's future blindly other than OA, it would be JP but if I  were to choose a leader in this current day scenario, I would have been hesitant, rather had been hesitant to pick him.  I still feel CBN can rule with an iron fist than JP but then maybe I am wrong and he would prove me wrong and to be honest deep down, I would like it to happen.  He had been the true whistle blower, a solution provider and a positive progress oriented thinker who is the true well wisher of both the regions who is abused by both the regions equally.

Mahatma Gandhi, no I have not seen  him in person and thanks to the media and internet and questionable historians I have my own doubts about the credibility of his intentions and his political nepotism and of course the subsequent Gandhis have all added much more muck to that surname.. again, I digress... to be back no track, if there is one person whom I call a true fighter and a survivor and an individual who is the best humanly possible virtue personified it is just JP.

I am sometimes unreasonably expecting something from this lone warrior, curse him for being diplomatic and not going all out to catch the throats of the wrong does but he always is/has/will be what he promises to be... a whistle blower in the society.  If I doubt him, it is my shortcoming of heavy expectations  but not his, he had been doing his duty irrespective of what millions like me feels, say, do.

I can just bark for a while in the social forum but be quiet... but he barks and even bites when  there is a need.

In my dreams I would want CBN the administrator working/putting JP's plans in implementation under a highly dedicated, educated, service oriented, non-criminal, able-bodied and minded political enthusiasts who actually want to make a change and see the difference.

Feb 18, 2014

29th state and my state of mind..

What happened today back home in Delhi is an inevitable decision. With so much pent up anger in the common man from deep within, it will always be a struggle. Just hope stability prevails soon and all the energies diverted to stop something as evident as this one are directed towards individual development and one hears of just public development SCHEMES and not personal development SCAMS coming forward!

 Public/political outcry, I had been the one who seethed and boiled within but eventually it does not really matter, similarly everyone would just come to acceptance and move along. No point living under such immense stress and struggle.

With intense focus on developing educational institutes in both areas and building a separate capital and diverting our energies towards a better living is most crucial.

Good luck AP...!  For now I am seeking solace, comfort, solution in the point that I am a global citizen and geographical boundaries do not bind me or bother me any longer 'cos I have not invested what I should have in my motherland emotionally to ruin it my present state of mind and also going forward.

Like the OA perfectly summarizes the situation those politicians seeking personal gains citing Telangana are like dogs chasing/racing purposelessly, aimlessly behind moving cars who do not know what to do once they win the race who get hit mercilessly by an unsuspecting vehicle passing on the same road...

 separate anevaallu car venaka parigette kukkallaanti vaallu, purposeless chase edokati chestunnaaru... ippudu jarigindi enti ante vaallu carni kooda suprass chesi vellipoyi dokkalegaresukuntoo waiting, pakkaninchi unexpected directionlo inkotedo vehicle vacchi guddi padestadi peeda poddi... just hope in all the mad rush and selfish motives, the real interest of the common man in Telangana are not lost and they get the well deserving attention and solution to the problems they have been plagued with from quite some time...

Feb 17, 2014

Judging a book by its cover

There are many people who actually surprise us as we get to know them.  For some reason, Puri Jagannath as a director has always kind of irritated me, always enjoyed his movies but the language that seeps in kind of irritates my some times conservative movie watching approach, somehow felt the way the ladies are addressed spells arrogance and at times cheap and this kind of killed my interest in trying to get him know further.

One thing that I have always admired is he still manages to look like youth even at this age, the way he has managed to stay and look young, his love to his wife, to his work.

The reason for this post is I thoroughly enjoyed Open Heart with him this week and some points are etched in the memory for like ever..

Only nature can give us the real problems, what the man gives is nothing.
His concept of God, belief.. kind of echoes mine tha t he wont be doing "the paaki job" of keeping track of minute silly things, be scared of the mokkulu.
my ardent desire of having a tattoo :) got even more stronger
regarding exercise and his straight forward nature, acknowledging roots, looking into self... and maybe his overall thought process... just loved, loved loved.

I am still not 100% convinced by his answer for the characters tone and language addressing the women but do agree that women as the role is perceived are strong.

Feb 16, 2014

Happy tears

With a kid at home, it is too very often you tend to get them.  Made chicken for the kid today, absolutely no spice, just the way she loves with the cashew gravy and for some reason she just came and asked me to turn around, thought she would give me a hug and obliged to find her prostrating on the floor and saying I love you amma, you made my heart fill with pride... do you love me too amma???.  Something I have never ever taught her to do, no idea where she picked it too, blanked out for a few seconds and then could not resist the tears...

and with this grows the increased urge to be better and be the ONE that she really needs.

Feb 13, 2014

A deep rooted fear...

For us to send the kid to private school itself is a very big thing, economically speaking, daaniki taggattu cars, houses, parties, lifestyle maintain cheyyaali ante we cannot and also to my thinking extravagance is what we consciously avoid, both me and the OA.  Some times I feel if we are depriving the kid of a lot of things because of the way we look at life, like the kids her age have so many accessories, toys, dresses, etc. whereas we choose to invest on learning, giving, sharing stuff and prefer simplicity.

Like we believe in comfort living than luxury even if we can afford, so in one corner there is a feeling that she goes to private education here in US or back in India to an International/expensive school, she will lose touch with reality... maybe it is just a fear but still it is something we are NOT equipped to deal with, so public schooling suits us just about fine and we can spend what we save in schooling for providing better aides to learning...

If I were to be in India, in rural areas, I have contemplated joining the kid in govt. school English medium, but then again, that is how I think... I cannot convince myself otherwise because I believe in it.. Again, coming to think of it, even if I could afford, I don't think I would send the kid to a private school, not unless I check the waters in public school system and see how she copes in case it gets really bad, maybe think about an alternative if things are so pressed.

How she turns out is entirely unpredictable but there are some things that I would like to see in her, compassion and an overall appreciation of what we have than a craving for what we dont.  I know it is highly impractical for us to expect she can understand any of it at all but still we TRY..

Feb 11, 2014


I have kind of almost stopped putting up the milestones of the kid anywhere... but realize what a big mistake it had been...

today is the first day she put together a 48-piece puzzle on her own, yes we are inching towards progress, a good one at that...

a few additions on her own...

reading set 2 book 4 on Bob's.


the kid loves bhendi fry so much that she wont mind to eat it every other day... and to a lazy cook like me, those sticky round veggie pieces are a pain to fry :-p, got a tip from a friend a few days earlier and there is no looking back ever since... say bye bye to stickiness with a spoon of curd added to the veggies when frying them... tadaaaa... stickiness GONE!!!

Feb 10, 2014

The Learning Curve

Among all the phases that we have been through as a family, the current trend is to try and educate the kid as much as possible. So, along with the Bob's book, simple additions, numbers and alphabets practice and some memory games along with some sloka time and all those good things taught and taught, I some times pity the kid for putting up with us..

been to her school today, had been extremely disappointed with it for a while but realized that nothing can be changed out there and that we teach her what she needs to learn to be in the next grade.

must say we are blessed to have her whereas we are not really sure we could say the same about her having us.  OA, to his credit has been giving in his 1000% commitment... touchwood.

Sphinx - Robin Cook

This the first time ever I had read a non-medical fiction by Robin Cook.

A suspense thriller set in the backdrop of pyramids of Egypt, it is a fast-paced easy read.

Loved reading it.

Feb 9, 2014

Coming Up Roses - Catherine Anderson

After what seems like ages, I have finally started reading or so I think, the kid had picked up a book because of the roses on its cover and I decided to go with it...

Set in old world of late 1800s, with a storyline of Kate a widow with a 4-year-old daughter, a deep dark secret, full of pain and insecurities trying to stay strong to protect the kid from all her fears.  Zach, the neighbor from the next farm with his own shady past takes a liking to the little girl and her mother, and how things turn out eventually where he marries her and they find love and freedom from their deepest fears and anxieties burying their past behind them..

an okay read and an easy breezy read after the long hiatus..

the OA strikes back when he says I saw you flipping the first few pages and now you are at the end... aaaaaaaaaaaww you started your read-acting again... phew!!!! somethings never change.. I can see him reading a book after me and questioning me after he finished to see if I actually did :-p, something that irritated me earlier just bring a naughty smile :-p

Feb 4, 2014

Aint called web just like that

I need to get rid of my net addiction as soon as possible...!  I fully understand now the reason it is termed so aptly the world wide web... the one that sucks people into its clutches and leaves them drained... have been at it for almost the whole day and i just do not seem to get out of it...

and one more disgusting thing, my sweet craving, eating anything and everything possible that has sugar in it... and feeling restless failing to do so...

Where am I headed to... buck up... MEDITATE...REALIZE..

Feb 1, 2014

Take Your Child To Library

Yup, it is take your child to library day today... so, what can stop the library bugs like us.  Panilo panigaa amma kooda library volunteer form submit chesi vacchindi and then had lots of fun in the story time, got a big sticker and then a surprise gift, tattoo which says Read, a sparkly pencil and a pen which says one world, many stories.

Just love the fact that the kid loves library just as much as I do.  She is very big into reading already and has surprised me with her random reading... Born to Run, Kozol, ponds, strong, stop are a few random things which she spotted out of nowhere and read and she is trying to read the titles of the books that I browse, good good, good... well that shows how happy I am actually because being bone tired and wanting to eat something and just lie down, I am still sitting up to enter this in the journal.

Come to think of it, how could I have stayed out from my own blog space or even refrain myself from registering her milestones which had been many, many many over the past couple of years.

well, I start my usual koti kommacchi :-p.  We picked up a few things for us from the stationary, ate out at Taco Bell, me the chicken chalupa, my fav and the kid tried Chicken Ranch Loaded Griller and surprisingly she finished it off inspite of it being spicy, well she must have been really really hungry and then we had soda after seemingly ages... A BIG NO, actually we had taken the drink assuming there would be pink lemonade the kids fav but there wasnt and ended up taking Pepsi :-p, dumping the glass  should have been the course of action (regret!).

Day started with going to the Home Depot kids workshop which the kid has started loving, where we made a race car, colored in all possible girly options :-p...

Well, a happy and content day, calling for another kala-tika

Bullabbayiki salahaalivoddu - Super like

Movie:  Emo Gurram Egaraa Vacchu

Em naayana ninnemaina adigaana uchita salaha
Sodiloki evari peroo raadento naa peru minaha
uuuvvaa prathi yedavaki naa meede kannu,
uuuvvaa tega lokuva cheyyaddu nannu
bullabbaayiki salahaalivoddu -ooo- - 4 -

Evadevadu ededo peekite, naaku vaadiki comparisionaa
meekanta sammaga unte miku petti cheyyandi bhajana
 uuuvvaa unnadaantho happy happy,
 uuuuuvvaa padukuntaa kaalle chaapi
 bullabbaayiki salahaalivoddu, -ooo- - 4 -

Naalaage nenu unta, naa balupe naaku saradaa
naa kashtam naaku ishtam, endukuraa meekanta durada
uuuvva mee lekkelademundoi bongu, naa lifeki nenera kingu
bullabbaayiki salahaalivoddu, voddu, ivvoddu, ivvoddivvaddu - 4 -

Just loved loved loved it :-), manam kooda konchem ade baapatu kadaa andukani maree maree maree nicchesindoch..

Jan 31, 2014


The past few days, some things have hurt me beyond compare, some thing about people in my life, rather who used to be in my life.  A really close buddy, a shy guy with a dimpled smile, the one who I remember calling me Tuskee and tagging along every alternate day for a whole year until I found my friend gang who later turned out to be a teenage sensation, teenage heart-throb, love hero beyond compare, the gap filler after Sobhan and all those adjectives which made him from a common man to a star and those unimaginable peaks he attained, nothing sustained.

The free fall happened and it so happened that he could never recover... whatever the reason, the one thing that I really really admire about him is his immense control and the way he remained tight lipped on the Chiru daughter.  No matter what the issue was, what problem he faced, he never got it out in open though there were a lot of sympathizers for him, he never made a mess of it, just kept working on getting back which he unfortunately could not.

IF and IF there had been no Chiru, would he have sustained his stardom, I am not sure with the stories that he got later on, nothing could have saved those debacles.  Shelved projects, no idea but all in all blaming one family or a person for one's downfall is just not fair.  One should cope up with problems.  No one can make or break a person other than himself.

The point of the post or my grief is when people close to him say that his suicide was a shocker, I dont believe it.  We just never gave a thought to it but in his last days, whatever be the reason, he seemed so lost and sad.  His death like his life had been a mystery, he seemingly left no indication of what his problem was... maybe like he said in his own words... how many people should he convince and explain his point of view true..  in this mechanical world, no one has time for another person.

Hearing speculations about his death was painful... had that guilt feeling in the corner of having left him, not looking back.. surprisingly not even the curiosity of a star life or whatever nothing could bind us together, and we just drifted apart.  Seeing that kid lying lifelessly at NIMS or the body unclaimed, uncle being so nonchalant about it all, akka on her way home so many tensions, such an unexpected news and the travel from abroad and all her tensions and the time between his death and her arrival taught us a lot of lessons in life, bringing out so many emotional insecurities that me and my brother have, the lives that we lead away from each other, the uncertainity factor until we reach one another, the similarities if god forbid something should happen, hit me really really hard.

Those 2 days until he was put to rest, could not just sleep, remembering the time together and more than that the time after that where maybe he needed being in touch with real people and not from the reel world around him... and even today whenever I remember him it is deep pain and regret of not having been in touch...

picchi kopam chacchipoyaadu ani, taravaata jarigindi choosinappudu intakannaa daari ledu tanaki anipinchenta baadha... enduku chesadu ani tanani titto ledante atani moolaane ani Chiruni titto manaki aa abhaagyudi praanam tirigi raadu...

Cant really say will miss him as we hardly ever met any longer but the fact that he is not among us or not breathing the same air as we are and that we could not ever see even if we want to is hurting, beyond what words can express.

Movie Post

Uyyaala-Jampaala -
 Feels like a fresh breeze, sweet, innocent cute love story and natural performances by Raj Tharun and Avika, the story next door feel transporting us to a perfect world of make believe. Worth every penny.. watch it on releaseday.

 Emo Gurram Egaraa Vacchu -
 One more refreshing village and old world feel story, easy breezy simple watch... For the viewer to like the movie, there needs to be a rural connect to appreciate the feelings involved. I loved it, especially... "Bullabbaayiki salahaalivoddu...". Of course, what more can one expect from an ardent Sumanth admirer

 undoubtedly ahead of its times movie for the typical mass Telugu audience who actually buy a ticket and watch it but a truly credible and worthy attempt by Sukumar and Mahesh, one of its kind!!! Thoroughly enjoyed every bit of it even though it felt stretched at times. I am actually surprised as to why people say it is not understandable or confusing or both . It is just that it is not a routine fun watch.

Love You Bangaaram
A movie with a concept but overdose of sex and offensive content, well it might happen but looks like a complete c-grade movie or worse...reminded me of one more movie that I saw about Ameerpet hostels though I do not remember the name.

Must say Charan and Bunny always manage to get good story lines and music and one more thing is I like his voice for some reason, dialogue delivery is whole another thing though :-p.  Thoroughly enjoyed watching it.  Typical mass masala with interesting turns and twists.

A surprisingly gripping story of an interview within a closed group for a top position in a social service organization in which the finalists are locked in a room with a plain paper in which they are supposed to answer a question which is not known to them.. how they figure it out and who emerges the winner and what the human emotions revealed are during that phase forms the gist of it.  Loved it.

Jan 30, 2014

10 days after..

with yet another resolution of daily blogging gone for a toss... I am here, accomplishing a few things, not reaching a few goals.  We set up a routine for school and home, doing the writing assignments EVVERYY SINGGGLE DDAY!! well, that is how the LO starts cribbing the moment I say it is the assignment time.

Well, we have been consistently doing so, so as not to forget what we already know, the writing is improved a bit with the ruled paper but on a white paper it is still a liberal spreading of black pencil in vaguely recognizable shapes that we usually call alphabets :-p.

Teaching her to read on her own, phonics help a lot and also the super reader.. the OA has gotten some Bob's books on advise from his colleagues but I find the general talk and the Leapfrog Word Fridge Phonics doing a better job at it and also the Vocabulary Power Reading sight words stuff a lot more fun than the Dot, Mit, Sam, Mat Bob's books but they are good too, can take the turns and get them done, need to see what works out better for her... for now she is on a learning curve.

There are times when she brings out her rebellion streak and we let it go but with her still not getting into the school system and we not being able to afford private schooling in more ways than material as of now, what to do, need to put her through these learning sessions every single week day.

For someone who had been a total stranger in this part of the world, who hardly knew anything in English, who mugged up answers for What is Your Name, Where do You live and Where are You Going in that very order and any change in that order would throw her out to a person who hardly speaks our mother tongue, it has been an incredible journey for her.

Too many changes, too much of accommodations on her part, and then my failing health and my changing behavior and attitude towards life, must say she has been through a lot and the blessing she is, taken it all in her stride and moved on.  When people credit me for her good behavior and maturity levels and the person she is today, I am like what has been my contribution ever, I just lucked out on having her.  She is in that absorption phase and asking intelligent questions about anything and everything and actually soaking in the answers and replicating them properly in day to day life, making intelligent conservations and not just blabbering.  There are times I wish that I have a normal toddler with junglee ways and gay abandon of childhood than this tiny adult staring at me.  I want her to enjoy life as it comes, play and not worry and yet not lose the emotional connect to an adult.  I know I am expecting too much out of her and in her own way she has been exceeding every limit set (touchwood).

The schooling hunt, yet another one is going to be a major deciding factor for our next year stay, 4 schools, one of which I want her to get in badly because of its International Baccalaureate program, keeping my fingers crossed.  Lack of regular schooling in a way, it has been a blessing for her, the regular school grind that began at 7:40 to 3:30 was kind of too much for the tiny body another year of rest would not do any harm provided we channelize her energy in more constructive ways.

She loves painting, sketching, cleaning, jumping around and of course watching TV/ipad... My Little Pony and Jake and The Neverland pirates being the top favorites, followed closely by Super Why??  Thank God, she is not into the princess stuff yet... but yes, she is into the pink and purple mode already, nauseating to be surrounded by an overdose of these colors, but hey cant ask for more, I have seen worse addiction of kids where they actually emulate the princess they want to be..

Talking in Telugu, well getting to that is a point of another post which would kind of go on and on but yes, I will venture into it soon.

Eating, touchwood, we have come to an understanding that she needs to understand her growing nutrition needs and the need to feed herself and we are slowly getting there, though not all food groups she is slowly into drinking milk on her own (she needs to have a growth spurt and grow taller and stronger and healthier, something she learnt from her school or picked up somewhere), eating some fruits and nuts and egg with a little chicken here and there, so as long as she is not starving or having malnutrition issues, I am not really worried as to the small quantities she eats which might raise many an eyebrows of conservative feed the kid to her fullest type of parents.

Of late, I have noticed that I have become really content in my own world and skin thanking God for what I have and the journey of life that we have come this far.  A long and lengthy conversation with the brother makes me even more so.  Some things and events disturb me but all in all, I have become a lot more positive than earlier and the anger is just a fizz.. knock on the wood and a truly kalaa tika post I guess..

Jan 21, 2014


Of late, I have been neglecting my personal space and limiting myself to the microblogging in FB.  Here, I am semi anonymous wherein people get know the real me only after reading about me, those who take time to know me like me.. but there it is the people who know me, have an opinion on me, that follow me and happen to think i have loads and loads and loads of time to while away on Social networking literally doing nothing.  Well, it is not just them but I myself feel that some times...

a lot of things have been impacting me for a while but first things first, I am trying to turn modern or maybe get comfortable with my blown up body :-p and get into the much needed attire of the hour, the western wear not to stand out in the crowd that I happen to live with.

kid is growing up fast, some times surprising me beyond expectations, things are good on that front (touchwood).

Me and OA have come to a peaceful coexistence without huge wars, just a few tiffs and then forgetting that in a minute, so must say PEACE is prevailing in the house.

I have been thoroughly upset about certain things which I very much want to put on the blog, will need to do...

so personally I think my post a day resolution starts today, let us see how far it goes..

Jan 16, 2014

A Wonderful New Year

First and foremost wish you all a wonderful new year.  may this new year bring in lots of happiness and most importantly contentment in your life.

Too many changes, yes I have cut down on TV but not as desired or intended to but yes it is a work in progress.

It is my 10th year into blogging... phew, such a long bondage, it has been liberating experience and I wish I spend more time on this than before.  FB is just a waste of time, yes I said it, other than one group which i am hopelessly addicted to, I guess it can be scrapped completely :-p..

will be very regular.. i promise, promise... definitely not colgate (I know a PJ :-p)

Dec 10, 2013

Few Simpler Notes

This post has been long pending.. I always valued a few things in my life and through a tornado of change that engulfed me, they remained the same, the bend towards simplicity.  The other day I was watching a cookery show in Maa TV by chance where I stumbled upon this segment by Amala Akkineni and as usual was stumped by her simplicity, loved a few comment she made about the jewels, that her kids and husband are her ornaments... true when I have the most precious thing in the world what is it with material stuff, so as a result there go the finger rings that I tend to adorn my fingers with and also the tiny hangings that I put on my ears.. how long will this last, no idea but guess for life..

A few things that upset me a lot in the recent past are the frequent cancer deaths that one hears of, young and just like that gone, not too old and just like that gone... celebrities hit we commonly mourn but in general there are so many of us in our lives.. that gets me to the point of daily detoxification, meditation which I am clearly not doing... phew... sigh!!!

Nov 11, 2013

New Home

In our new home, in a new place, scared to start with, fitting in finally... moving is back breaking.. and yes, there is an urgent need to declutter... 25% of the unpacking is done, no single room is actually set, too many boxes, too much of wrapping material, too many things lying around...

kid is fitting in, feeling bored, tired and neglected in all the process... am dog tired too.. need to sleep...

Nov 10, 2013


Each night over the past few days I make mental posts to be on the blog but I dont get to post them... lot of things happening, finalized the house, had too many initial hiccups and set backs and doubts and eventually settled for the corner most house in the top most floor, it is such a huge risk that we just took... could not decide if it were to be a yes or no but took baba's help, put the chits and picked it to go and yes, we have decided to brave it out.

New state, new rules... new living, new stresses, confusion and then clarity...

One thing I realize out here is the need to de-clutter, as soon as I settle into a routine, one thing we plan to do is that.. de-clutter take out as much stuff as possible, pass on, donate, whatever..!

Dog tired.. already and we have not yet moved...

All the while we have stayed closer to ground, on the ground actually... this is the first time so high... where we are in touch with all the 5 elements in the close proximity, it is scary... please wish us good luck, we need it a lot...

coming to the regular posts, i will try but I guess it is a wrong time for NaBloPoMo.. I will make up for the skipped posts though...

Nov 6, 2013


Been to library today as well, the story time was awesome, the way things are told in stories and songs and dances is really really nice in US.  The kid had a blast.  We just love the library out here, the kid zone especially awesome, always an assistant to help you with reading choices, very friendly and informative, ipads for kids to play with wonderful apps, the computers, the mini fish tank, play zone, book corner, the collection, every thing about it is plain awesome.

One thing I have noticed is I have been really really happy, happy seeing people out on roads, happy just watching them go about life, those smiles, those thinkers, those crazily dressed guys, those scary ones, the tiny tots in strollers.. life as it happens, so many people that you do not know, may not see again but people who have a lot going in their lives... it gives me the feeling of being alive.  Now I know what I had been missing all this time, the contact with life, observing it as an outsider rather than being a part of it and struggling to make it work... just seeing it pass by for a few minutes in a day.  The ability to be randomly spontaneous and do whatever you want, just walk outside and see things happening...

there is so much of energy and positivity that I get from it all...

a happy day...

Nov 5, 2013

Mixed Emotions

The day has seen a lot of positive changes in that we walked all the 3 blocks to the library, had lots of fun, just loved all the activities out there for kids, elders.  Forgot to take the passport, as I do not have the new address in new place, we need to go with the temporary card and get registered first.  All in all a fun filled day with the kid getting a 5-book gift from Peter The Rabbit in some promotional campaign by KPMG's KFFL volunteers with an activity book and lots of crayons, what more can a kid ask and then a top of the world mom moment when the kid all by herself spells out the word "colorosaurus" and pronounces it perfectly...!! A perfect day beginning at 11:30, seeing houses, picking and narrowing down on one, to the library, lots of maze games, a hearty lunch at Mc'D with yet another book for the day as the toy, walking back in the cold, meeting and making a couple of new friends for the kid..

Then came the scary moment where the fire alarms went on and on and on for a while where we checked out through the doors, windows and then realized that everyone is out and we need to be too, in stead of waking up the deep sleep kid, wrap the kid in a fleece blanket and OH climbing down with her all the way down, the beeps, the booms, the insecurity, the fear of unknown, the lights of a fire engine, the fire workers, felt like too much and then came the deep rooted fears of our decision to take up residence in a high-rise, the top most floor at that.. bit too scary, need to re-talk and negotiate a deal to change the plan to a lower one, deep inside feel like it is an omen for us or maybe not... 

A big day ahead... the school query, the house query, the library... too much confusion.

For Evil Eyes on LO