There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.
My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)
May 11, 2006
"The many lines and wrinkles on my face
Are not folds in the baby fat of youth.
They are time measurements sketched
By the hand of the Keeper of Time"
A Conversation with an Old Man
By Lama Gungtang Konchok Dronme
Was just looking at the paper and my eye caught this article on Hyderabad commemorating the Day For the Aged and it set me thinking about a lot of things.. kind of stirred the hornet's nest.
With the rapid emergence of nuclear families and inflation forcing both the wife and husband to work in order to maintain a particular standard of living and providing the best for their children, there is actually no time to spare with the older generation. As long as they are healthy and look after themselves as well as help take care of the family, everything is a fairy tale.. parents working, grandparents taking care of the family.. perfect arrangement!!! But what tilts this all-so perfect balance is when the younger generation needs to take care of the oldies. When they are in the final stages of life and require our attention the most, where are we?? fighting our own battles for survival!!
It really gets me thinking about the security nets for the elderly. A person struggles all his/her life looking after the kids, oftentimes ignoring their own personal needs and finally where do they end up.. it really shatters me to see the cruelty of life. Not that I blame the new generation for neglecting but there is no choice. If you dont look after yourself, you are left nowhere.. the world around is moving at such a fast pace that you stop for a moment and you are left way behind.
With rapidly changing value systems and people getting hardly any time to spare for themselves, I think the concept of oldage homes in the best. When there is no one to take care of the elders at home, it is best they are put under proper surveillance where there are a lot of others in the same age group and share each others feelings. It breaks my heart to see my grandfather in a room all by himself, doing nothing but sleeping all the day. Nobody really has time to spare with him, not even his own sons, forget the daughters-in-law. I, for one, am no exception to this. I hardly do anything for him other than greet him and just speak to him a sentence or a two.
Is this punishment necessary for a human being, being isolated, hated by everyone, leaving people wondering why is he alive?? Why is there a stigma attached to keeping the people in an oldage home. Why is this a prestige issue? What the hell.. If you dont have time and energy to spare, why not give them the life they deserve, why not let them be happy in the company of their age group where they are properly fed and taken care of.
Keeping a loved one in a home is not wrong, I would have put amma there if I were to be in a postion not being able to care for her. In fact, I was contemplating a day-care kind of a thing for her if I moved on to work in an office environment (sort of dropping her when I go to office and pick her up when going back home). Surprisingly, no place offers anything like that. Thinking along these lines, my love for her was not lost anywhere, it is just that I wanted her to be taken care of properly when I am not around.. fair enough (or so it seemed to me). It does not mean that we are abandoning them, just doing what is best for them in the given situation.
Well.. looking around are there enough options for us to keep our loved ones? I doubt!! With their wisdom gained over the years, they are an asset to the society, no doubt, but why do we have to sacrifice their happiness at the altar of our ego. Why not make their happiness the primary motto, not what the society says..
If I want to give something back to the society in the name of amma, maybe I should just work with a place providing modes of entertainment and comfort for the elderly... well, another dream added!!
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep -- Robert Frost