Foreword

There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

Ref: Chichkoo is what I lovingly call my daughter, kiddo my brother, amma and taatee my late maternal grandparents, and OA is the other adult in the family.

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May 18, 2006

Mama Mia, Here I go again...

Finally, I got a slot.. I just cant believe it, I did that after almost a year and a half (pinching myself time and again).

With Kiddo's arrival my day is wasted, no work, no study, just plain loafing around.

By the way wonder of wonders... I have not touched TV in quite some time.. 2 full weeks, an achievement in itself... really a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig wow!!!! on this.. Common guys, I really deserve an applause for this. I wonder how I managed to do without my daily dose of rona, dhona, sanskaar, parivaar daily serials. Without TV, I seem to pack more into my day and there I was wondering I would be having withdrawal symptoms.. ha ha!!

Even with all the hue and cry about the movie, I am keeping my fingers crossed that "The Da Vinci Code" lives up to its book version. Many times in transition from words to frames, the content loses it flavor. I ruined my liking for Pride and Prejudice watching the movie. Just hope this one turns out to be fine!! Big hope though, the reviews dont seem to be all that good... just cant wait to watch it!!

***
Outing with Mom and guess what, I actually liked it. Just went out for a casual walk and ended up shopping and eating out.. had a blast. Now I know where I got those strange eating habits... in the genes you see ;-). The downside was she got me a book "From Fat to Fit" booohooo. I felt like yelling from the roof top "I am not FAT... just a little plumpy for god's sake."

Hey, you guys ever had Chicken Corn Pizza, sounds a crazy combo but reaaaaaaaal yummmy!! Try it out. Food is great but it would have been better if they had toy meal offers like in Mac Donald's.

Hey Caps, Magna serves the best pani puris in Taste Buds.. just come fast.

HIMYM.. Fun Unlimited

If you are wondering what that acronym means.. it's "How I Met Your Mother," my favorite sitcom on US TV which I get to watch thanks to my bro's unlimited patience.

If you have seen Friends and are a fan of it, you just cant help falling in love with this one.. All about a group of 5 friends (lilly and Marshall, Ted and Robin, and Barney). It is about a guy telling his kids how he met their mom. It is outright hilarious and has the best quotes ever.. I just love every single conversation between those friends. For all those who want to watch it, I have them all (given strictly on an on-return basis.)

"There are certain things in life where you think it is a mistake but you dont really know it is a mistake because the only way you know it is a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say that it was a mistake. So really the bigger mistake would be not to make a mistake!!! Do you understand."-- Lilly.

"Yup.. uh.. you used mistake a lot!!"-- Ted

May 17, 2006

Prep, job... rambling and more rambling

It is just about 12:15 and I am done with work for today, not bad considering that I have not started that early either. Well, it seems to have been ages since I did that. Stretching throughout the day is messy and irritating. It is like being on the job all the day.. not working yet you have that target looming over, relaxing yet not actually relaxing... phew, no wonder I have been feeling overworked but actually working less.

One good thing is I finally got my approval for CMT third time around, well lemme paste it here for you guys to see. Hopefully (keeping my fingers crossed), I wont let it lapse this time around.

Exam: CMTB
AAMT ID: 141905
Authorization good through: 8/15/2006 (which means I need to take up the test before 15th August).



On this note, why not tell you what I actually do for my bread and butter :-).

Medical Transcription.. A major healthcare outsourcing by US to India, where medical reports are typed out and sent back to US within a specified TAT (turn-around time). It is not just data entry job, as many of you guys tend to misunderstand. It requires a lot of skill, patience, undivided attention to the job on the hand and constant upgradation of the skills to survive the competition and come out a winner, not to say the occupational hazards involved in the long run. I am not saying this because I do it, but actually working for so long and knowing inside outs of this profession, I do understand and respect those guys who have been doing it for a long time.

Well, rather than me going blah.. blah.. about it all, for all those who are interested just check it out straight from the horse's mouth .

After almost 7 years into transcription, I feel like a veteran and just like those of you who are working, I have this love-hate relationship with my job. I love it for its complexity and skill-set utilization but hate it when it becomes mere garbage cleaning (I am a proof reader by the way, which means I dont actually type out the document but ensure that the quality of the transcript is accurate). Some transcripts are sooooooooo bad that believe me, I would give anything to just ignore it and type it myself, but I just cant do because I need to grade the jobs as well, constructive feedback (my foot) you see.

On-the-job issues we have are difficult dictators (believe me you got to listen to them to believe English can be spoken this bad. It often leaves me wondering how they got to pass medicine and become the specialists that they are!!). Interestingly enough the toughest ones are not the Americans, they are the easiest. The problem is with those Indians, Chineese, Japanese, Mexican authors, i.e., basically all those non-American-origin guys who try to imitate the American accent and make our lives miserable and surprisingly they are the ones who crib the most about quality (comeon, speak out clearly for god's sake!!, You are getting what you give us you morons!!!). Some docs do give me nightmares (Bejjani, Neuschwander, Domat, Muthappan.. endless list though) and at times I just feel like leaving my job forever and find something better to do but then when I finish those jobs with no blanks at all, I have that feeling of triumph over them which is unmatchable.

The upside to this all is we are well-equipped with medical knowledge and are aware of a lot of healthcare-related concerns, get familiar with a different culture, lifestyle, etc. and cracking a word using all your correlating skills gives us immense pleasure and the satisfaction of a job well done. The downside however, is, believe me, you just cant trust these Indian government doctors anymore. I dont intend to demean the medical fraternity here. There is no dreath of talent here but the services of the talented lot are limited only to the rich and famous in India (pun intended!)... okay, I will stop here. I can go on and on this topic though.. let me save it for my blog on them some other time.

Getting back to my work, I work for a place which provides 24x7 transcription support, which means we work in shifts.. Night shift (10 to 6) is permanant and is a voluntary option but the day shift is rotational with change every 15 days (6 to 2 and 2 to 10). As you all know, I work from home and being a proofreader is the topmost post I can reach, which means I am saturated right now, growth wise. One major change, which I think has been one of my worst career decisions so far is going back to dayshift. Another nightmare.. oops daymare (if there can be something like that) is my new dayshift TL, lilly as I grudgingly call him. Believe me, he is neither beautiful not fragrant as the actually lilly is, quite tangentially opposite in fact. My workday starts and ends with his pops in the IP switch (in-house pop). I am not exaggerating, mind you, the day he wishes me, I can be rest assured that my day is gone to dogs. Well, that may be the reason of my overstretched work hours these days. He leaves no stone unturned to breathe down my neck, "did you login, how is it going, are you going to work, how much left, check this mail, do that thing, can you open that attachment, is the data clear... blah.. blah... blah..." try switching off the pop to get some peace of mind and there he is on your phone going blah... blah.. blah... God, save me from him!!! If I am planning to become a sanyasi one of these days, you now know who the cause is.

To sum it all.. my job is either a New Challenge Every Day or Same S*** Different Day (SSDD as Jeannie calls it) based on a lot of factors and my varying moods of course.

May 16, 2006

Is it just me???

There are times, like now, when I go into that infinite loop of analyzing things as to why they went wrong, why they are as they are, why are they not what they ought to be, etc., and I become moody.

I mean I start a lot of things with a whole lot of josh, enthu, or whatever and then the fizz slowly fades away. A lot of excitement to begin with, all the efforts put in, everything seems to be going great for a while and then somewhere down the line I lose the track and it is very difficult to go back on that again (like my civils prep and the most recent CMT prep postponed twice already in the past year and a half). The lazy me starts popping up and everything falls back to that normal boring existence. I hate the term existing in the context of living. One needs to live life to the fullest, not just exist like I am doing right now. I think I take life too casually and have no real goals to keep me going.. there I go again into yet another endless loop.

I hardly seem to do anything properly, the usual work which takes me 4 hours at the max, seems to be stretching unendingly throughout the day and even late into the night. Nothing that I do seems to be going good. Am I looking at things microscopically and looking only at the negative things??.. well, I dont really know. I just hope it is a passing phase, I hate being and thinking negative as it saps out my energy or is it the heatwave that is taking its toll on me??.. No idea.

I just seem to be doing fine one moment and the very next I find myself in the abysmal depths of sorrow, pain, hurt, or whatever. Does this happen to everyone or just me, I mean the time frame, frequency, consistency, etc., etc.??

May 15, 2006

Sleep, my first love!!

Sleep.. hmmm.. sleep is something I have always excelled at since my childhood. Any free time, one would find me sleeping away to glory, a total dreamless sleep that is. Any given day.. oops night, I needed at least 10-hour sleep, anything less I would be so restless the next day. The only solution to every problem was sleep it out..

And when on sleep, dreams are something that have intrigued me always, I mean I hardly dream and even if I do which is very, very rare, I dont remember anything in particular.

I remember my marathon sleeping sessions when in hostel in Bangalore leaving my roommates wonder about my resting capabilities.. I still remember one question, which I thought was funny at that time "dont you get body pains sleeping for that long" and I was like... "common sleeping is resting, no pains, only pleasure.." Well.. now I know, it actually hurts when we sleep for a long time.. 8 hours max and I am already tossing and turning, it is like body screaming, get up you dumbo!! age factor maybe.. getting older by the day right!! My situation is getting so bad that I am actually beginning to envy those who manage to sleep properly.

One thing I miss real bad now is sleeping on time and waking up early, being able to see that beautiful sunrise, one of the nature's unique gift to mankind.... it is becoming increasingly difficult to get up in the morning.. well, how can I?? I stay awake almost throughout the night... :-((.... me staying up and blogging at this ungodly hour itself suggests something absurd. I have become a night owl, a nocturnal being. I need to pull up the strings faster and get back to a normal routine.

I used to always yell at the kiddo for his erratic sleep pattern, well, what is it that I do now... I guess, the genes are catching up with me ;-). I seriously need to do something about it and the biiiiiiiig question is WHAT???

May 13, 2006

Thank You One and All

"As we walk our path of life
We meet people every day
Most are simply met by chance
But, some are sent our way.

These become special friends
Whose bond we can't explain
The ones who understand us
And share our joy and pain

Their love contains no boundaries
So, even when we are apart
Their presence enhances us

With a warmth felt in the heart


This love becomes a passageway
When even the miles disappear
And so, these friends, God sends our way

Remain forever near."
-- Anonymous


We dont get to choose our family we are born into, we have no say in it. But long-lasting friendships do happen by our choice. I happened to read somewhere a quote that goes like "If you happen to have one true friend at the end of your life, you have been lucky".. (well, touch wood!! I am the luckiest going by that.. 'cos I have quite a few).

Thank you each and every one of you for being there whenever I needed you. All those memories will be the most cherished and will remain so forever. I know I can never thank you all enough but you got to know that you mean a lot to me.

Caution: Any name missed out here is not intentional... it is just that it might have slipped my mind at this very moment I am blogging and neither is there any order of preference.

Capsi, KC, Mads, Bindu, Jaya, Anita, Bhuvi, Appu, Krupa, Biju, Hari, Ravi, Suresh, Syam, Bina, Ipsy, Kiran, Rima, Sangeeta, Jeannie, Sandy...

You guys are my reality check and grounding factors.. you dont hesitate to criticize me when wrong, encourage me to give my best, feel good when I am happy, lend a shoulder when I need to empty those innumerable buckets of tears.. most of all, you let me fight my own battles by just being there.. Thank you for everything.

Quote For the Day
Success is never final and failure is never fatal; it's courage that counts.

May 12, 2006

These are a few of my favorite things...

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things.


Being with Amma.
Listening to Geeta by Ghantasala, Bhaja Govindam by MS Subbalakshmi, or Sundara Kanda by MS Ramarao early in the morning.
Taatee's single-tooth grin and that impish laughter (it is very rare, but a delight to watch).
Mom's concentration when she eats food.
Sun rise and sun set.
An infant's toothless smile.
New-born puppies sleeping near the mom.
Greenery all around.
Dew drops on grass in the early winter mornings.
Fish in the pond.
Cloud watching (watching clouds take different shapes as they move on.. as they say, sky is the limit for your imagination)
Watching star-lit sky on a full-moon day.
Ice-cream in winter nights and cold rainy days.
Long bike rides and car rides (on rainy days) on a proper traffic-less road.
Cuddling up with soft toys with a good book to read.
Watching India win a cricket match chasing a huge target (absolute rarity though!!) with a gang of friends.
Listening to music and yelling and singing all your favorite songs on the top of your voice.
Late night chatting with loved ones and friends and just falling asleep like that.
Road-side paani puri with friends.
Watching movies on TV (alone or with friends, depending on the mood).

The list would go on and on and on...

A few crazy things that I really really want to do
Sell at least one black ticket (seriously, I somehow always wanted to do that).
Bungee jumping from Mount Everest.
Midnight wildlife safari in Masai Mara.

A few sensible ones
Eat an apple under the tree in Shimla. I always wonder how Newton could arrive at laws of gravity and not just eat that apple :-)).. well, may that is what sets him apart from rest of us!!
Watching Taj Mahal on a full-moon day (heard a lot about it.. just want to have that feel).
A holiday in Seychelles and Mauritius.
Travel in Palace on Wheels.

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad
-- Sound of Music

May 11, 2006

In the dusk of life...



"The many lines and wrinkles on my face
Are not folds in the baby fat of youth.
They are time measurements sketched
By the hand of the Keeper of Time"

A Conversation with an Old Man
By Lama Gungtang Konchok Dronme


Was just looking at the paper and my eye caught this article on Hyderabad commemorating the Day For the Aged and it set me thinking about a lot of things.. kind of stirred the hornet's nest.

With the rapid emergence of nuclear families and inflation forcing both the wife and husband to work in order to maintain a particular standard of living and providing the best for their children, there is actually no time to spare with the older generation. As long as they are healthy and look after themselves as well as help take care of the family, everything is a fairy tale.. parents working, grandparents taking care of the family.. perfect arrangement!!! But what tilts this all-so perfect balance is when the younger generation needs to take care of the oldies. When they are in the final stages of life and require our attention the most, where are we?? fighting our own battles for survival!!

It really gets me thinking about the security nets for the elderly. A person struggles all his/her life looking after the kids, oftentimes ignoring their own personal needs and finally where do they end up.. it really shatters me to see the cruelty of life. Not that I blame the new generation for neglecting but there is no choice. If you dont look after yourself, you are left nowhere.. the world around is moving at such a fast pace that you stop for a moment and you are left way behind.

With rapidly changing value systems and people getting hardly any time to spare for themselves, I think the concept of oldage homes in the best. When there is no one to take care of the elders at home, it is best they are put under proper surveillance where there are a lot of others in the same age group and share each others feelings. It breaks my heart to see my grandfather in a room all by himself, doing nothing but sleeping all the day. Nobody really has time to spare with him, not even his own sons, forget the daughters-in-law. I, for one, am no exception to this. I hardly do anything for him other than greet him and just speak to him a sentence or a two.

Is this punishment necessary for a human being, being isolated, hated by everyone, leaving people wondering why is he alive?? Why is there a stigma attached to keeping the people in an oldage home. Why is this a prestige issue? What the hell.. If you dont have time and energy to spare, why not give them the life they deserve, why not let them be happy in the company of their age group where they are properly fed and taken care of.

Keeping a loved one in a home is not wrong, I would have put amma there if I were to be in a postion not being able to care for her. In fact, I was contemplating a day-care kind of a thing for her if I moved on to work in an office environment (sort of dropping her when I go to office and pick her up when going back home). Surprisingly, no place offers anything like that. Thinking along these lines, my love for her was not lost anywhere, it is just that I wanted her to be taken care of properly when I am not around.. fair enough (or so it seemed to me). It does not mean that we are abandoning them, just doing what is best for them in the given situation.

Well.. looking around are there enough options for us to keep our loved ones? I doubt!! With their wisdom gained over the years, they are an asset to the society, no doubt, but why do we have to sacrifice their happiness at the altar of our ego. Why not make their happiness the primary motto, not what the society says..

If I want to give something back to the society in the name of amma, maybe I should just work with a place providing modes of entertainment and comfort for the elderly... well, another dream added!!

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep
-- Robert Frost

May 10, 2006

Life is all about choices..

Life is all about choices. One's destiny unfolds according to the choices one makes. All said and done, life comes down to a few key moments, then why bother over trivial things and lose peace of mind. I need to rekindle my spirit for living and keep the firing going no matter what.

Anger blinds us to reason. I really cant figure out why I let myself give in to anger at times and end up doing the worst possible things.. why? No matter what happens to you in life, you alone have the option to choose your response to it.. very true, quite a few things happen to us, with or without our liking, but the way we take it depends totally on us alone.

For the past couple of days, I had been seething with anger at some really silly issues.. lot of energy is consumed for negative thoughts. In stead, I have decided to divert my energy to a constructive purpose.. why not just give an outlet to the excess energy and turn it positive. Why not pursue my CMT stuff. Well, that has been long due anyways, why not just prepare with a vengeance and give it a try..

Actually no goal setting is complete without a deadline attached to it, so why not this month. So, got to go now, need to prepare and try being a CMT by this month end. Good luck to me!! (by the way for those who dont know what CMT is, it means Certified Medical Transcriptionist.. a certification in my profession.)

I need to catch up with life, before it catches me right!!

Quote For The Day
We never see the target a man aims at, in life; we see only the target he hits.

May 7, 2006

Hyderabad... The Happening City

Buddha in Hussain Saagar

Hyderabad, the AP state capital, the fifth largest metro, known for its rich culture and heritage with its thriving hitech revolution is one place I have grown up to fall in love with.. This usually laidback city, is one place I can call my home town.

There is a magic to this place, it just makes me feel real good, just being a part of it gives me happiness. This is one place I can call my city, every thing about Hyd is cool.. the laidback attitude, the cultural mix, the nawaabi tehzeeb in the old city, the typical telangana accent (though I dont understand more than half of what is being spoken, it is really good to listen to).. total costal effect in Kukatpally area.. Hyderabad is the best!!!

Hyderabaadi lingo is unique, those words "bindaas," "ishtyle miyaan," "potti pataana maamu", "kya pataaka hai boss!", "nakko baap", "light teesuko" where else do we find this flavor, it is too coool.. I mean these are soooooooo soooooooo typically hyderabadi that you can just make out a true-blue hyderabaadi any place in a ziffy.

Prasad's Imax

Movies are a craze here and in spite having 100s of movie theaters in the city, we hardly manage to get tickets on a weekend. I feel a few theaters in the city are the best in India. Talking about movies, "Hyderabad Blues" a Nagesh Kukunoor movie and "Danger," a recent Krishna Vamsi flick, depict the typical carefree hyderabaadi lifestyle.

Birla Mandir, Tank Bund, Necklace Road, Assembly, Public Garden, Planetorium, Science Museum, NTR park, Lumbini Park, Laserium.. this belt is my favorite place in the city.. all situated in the heart of the city, it is the best place to enjoy a lazy day. I make sure all my friends who come down to visit Hyderabad have a dhekko at this zone.

Lumbini Park

Speed boating is something I am crazy about, but I hardly get any company as almost all my friends think the place stinks.. stink is bearable yaa.. common you got to look at the thrill okay!! Buddha is all alone out there and looks at us invitingly to give him company for a while, you got to be sportive enough to venture into it. There is nothing like boating on a full-moon day with some fun-filled performances on board, but the company really matters and you cant enjoy it alone.

Birla Temple

Lumbini Park, the gang used to go there on the weekends, have fun, sit by the fountain, play, sing, enjoy and come back home. Birla Mandir is a marble wonder in the middle of the city. The view from that place is breath taking, especially the night view of the city. I remember the rock we used to sit on and scream at the top of our lungs "Hyderabad.... we love you!!!!" It is really sad that we cannot go there anymore as that spot is closed for visitors thanks to a suicide from there.

Golconda

Golconda is another gem, the evening sound and light show is too good, the songs by Jagjit Singh, the baritone voice of Amitabh telling you the story of the city takes you to another era altogether. This monument has been damaged a lot by Aurangazeb's invasions lured by its legendary wealth but whatever is left of it has a vast number of stories to say and you got to go there to actually have a feel of it.

Charminar

Charminar, Mecca Masjid and the hoards of pigeons waiting to be fed is another beauty. The faluda, the kurbaani-ka-meetha (hyderabadi delicacies) and oh yeah.. how can I forget the famous Hyderabaadi Biryaani.. too good. The list of places does not end here, the Salaarjung Museum (this itself takes one complete day), the High Court Building, The Nizam Places, Puraana Pool, Zoo Park, Qutub Shaahi Tombs, Dhola-Ri-Dhaani, the newly-sprung theme parks/water parks, Film City....the list goes on and on and on.

Gandipet is one place which one must see, especially the sun-set view from there, awesome!! You will simply fall in love with this place if you have the leisure to enjoy it. It takes time to grow on you but once you get used to it, no other place can beat it.

Hi-Tec City

I am really proud to be a Hyderabaadi and I am very sure almost all of us agree that this place really rocks. Why else did two US Presidents visit the city? This place sure is making its mark and the Hyderabaadis are making their presence felt in almost all the fields not to be left behind in anything... this is the most happening place right now.

The life here is taking a faster pace as well with global interest concentrated on it, but deep down it still retains its very unique flavor.

An Outing On a Sweltering Day

Working from home!! a lot of my friends think it is cool.. well, actually it is NOT.. it is really a mess, you end up being too lazy to go out, lose all the social contacts, end up becoming a compulsive netaholic, and what not.

Relatives who simply refuse to understand that you dont just stare at the monitor but actually are at work are the worst thing that can happen to a work-at-home lady. Thank God!! I do not yet have any such problems but a lot of my home-based colleagues complain of that.

My biggest problem is the inertia.. I hardly feel like going out these days. In fact, it has been more than a week since I actually ventured out into the balcony let alone outside the doorstep, well that is really really bad.. so yours truly decided to go for an outing in the sweltering heat (maybe 40 plus degrees celcius) starting at about 11 a.m. beginning by standing in the serpentine queue at ICICI to deposit some money. Net banking and ATMs have made our lives so easier that I was cursing the entire time I was standing in the queue.

Then I decide on an impulse to use the public transport, so take an auto, go to the bus terminal at KPHB, take 187 and go to Lakdi-Ka-Pool, do some shopping there and then go to Koti to buy some books and here I get really really hungry and there appears the famous Gokul Chat, the paradise for the chat lovers, eat to my heart's content and set out on my book hunt.

It was a good change after all that Landmarks and Waldens, you get real good quality books at less than half the price and there is a lot of variety too. I still cant believe it, I picked up Dan Brown's Digital Fortress, original, for 70 rupees.. best buy of the day maybe and got a load of other books, basically a lot of paperbacks, enough to keep me engaged for more than a month. Got back home again in 225 (the bus I hated in my college days for being overcrowded all the time) at around 4:30..

Phew!!! what a day it had been.. by the time I got home, I just felt wilted.. well, I actually need quite a lot of such outings (on a less hot day though) just to keep me from going crazy.

I just cant wait for Capsi to come and resume our loafing sessions.. hahaha.. pack your bags dear..someone is desperately waiting for you.

May 5, 2006

Jeannie in Trini



Caribbean Islands, specifically Trinidad is one place where I want to be right now. I mean career-wise that is the best offer one can have.. Imagine, International Trainer tag which I would get when back in India and the experience is really going to help me a lot understanding the processes overseas. But why am I not there, some twist of fate or a decision well thought out?? well, I dont want to feel bad about it now...

Anyways, I dont miss any action out there thanks to Jeannie and her constant updates in her blogs.. that is one blog site I love to visit every single day. In fact, I miss it when she does not update it for a couple of days at a stretch. It would have been really great if we got the opportunity to spend some time together but no problems.. she will come down to India one day and we can still have a blast.

We keep joking that we need to find someone solid rich for me so that he can sponsor us both for a trip around the world. I love her family a lot, a sweet, small family.. Eric (he is too slow at typing but really a cute teddy bear) and the kids Sydney and Shelby (am auntie Sushma to them).. got some pretty Indian dresses for the kiddos but yet to send them.. at the rate at which the kids grow in this age, I wonder if they would ever fit into those by the time I send them across.

It really feels good to know that in that part of the world too people value family and sentiments.



That is Jeannie with 12-guage shotgun, Booboo(shelby) with the doggie, and Sydney making faces for the camera.



This is Eric fishing..

Before I knew them, I thought Americans actually dont value relationships and all that crap that we are brought up to believe.. look at the west, their culture, their divorces, blah..blah..blah.. Well, they are very much like us, Eric taking care of the kids in PA with Jeannie out in Trini to make a career for herself.. I would say it really requires a lot of understanding and committment which I dont think a lot of Indian men would do no matter how much they love and trust their wives.

Quote For The Day
Duty makes us do things well, but love makes us do them beautifully.

You Think You Know Who You are...???


The tagline of the Oscar winning movie Crash.. when Officer Ryan (Matt Dillon at his best) asks Officer Hanson (Ryan Phillippe) You Think You Know Who You are?? "You have no idea." Well, that is what I call truly thought provoking..

It is a well-made movie, all in a two-day span displaying human emotions perfectly tackling the most controversial subject about racially and economically diverse groups in LA. The theme is quite unsettling at times and certain scenes are really too good like the director's wife telling him "I just couldn't stand see that man take away your dignity." after all that humiliation she goes through and the most touching one is of Lara and Daniel (Father and Daughter), their winged fairy and the magic cloak, especially the scene where the kid rushes to rescue her father saying "I'll protect you Daddy"

We dont always act like how we are actually rather circumstances have a great say on how things turn out and it is wonderfully potrayed as in the case of Officer Ryan rescuing the lady and Officer Hanson shooting Peter, the innocent black kid. Our actions are mostly driven by certain prejudices we have, very deep down, which are supressed by our rational thoughts but pop up the moment we let our fears take over. With every step we take towards economic progress, we are falling down into the abysmal depths of indifference and materialism. Despite proclaiming to be a liberal and global society, can we ever take diversity in our stride and move towards the so-called "universal brotherhood" where race and creed do not matter. Forget the race and creed, can we ever treat people who look a little different than us in whatever little way it is with equality. It is either pity or fear or whatever goddamn feeling it is but never equality. Why have our thoughts become so narrow as we surge ahead widening our horizons.

Well, well, I am not going to reveal the entire plot now nor am I going to lecture out on equality. I will leave something for you guys when you watch it for the first time and let you think it over!!

"Live your life at the point of impact" "Moving at the speed of life, we are bound to collide with each other." Phew.. the script is too good. The character interactions are simply superb... a must watch..

May 4, 2006

Kiddo... The irresistable devil!!


Bobby.. kiddo as I call him lovingly.. I miss him at times and I guess it is one of those days..

He is the only one who I can call my very own (well as of now ;-)).. We have always shared this love-hate relationship right from the childhood... mom party, dad party, always quarelling, he beating me up black and blue and me using the choicest abuse in turn but mostly destroying what he liked the most (heehaa, the sadistic me). It took 25 years for us to form a bond this strong and it sure is really really precious to me. Especially after amma, I just feel that she has brought us closer and is looking at us and blessing us from above. He has actually taken over that big bro's role making me wonder at times at his maturity (only a few times mind you) but he is still as adamant and as foolish in certain things.

After Amma, I look up to him for approval of things that I do and it is very difficult for me to move forward when he bluntly refuses to listen to me.. I feel like shaking him up and bring him to senses. He might seem huge in terms of build but he is still a sensitive kid. I am scared to put any pressure on him to do what he does not like lest he would go back into his blues (it still gives me goose bumps when I look back at the best-forgotten past).

At times, I feel totally frustrated that he is being totally selfish, just escaping things and trying to hide in his studies but then when I think clearly, I am just doing what I ought to and when I can afford to do something why not, especially when he has never ever let me down and always gave his best shot at it.. Another three years or maybe even five years, it is really scary but it is not all that bad. We can manage, if we did it for 28 years, another 5 is not a big deal.

I just want him to be strong and be there for me when I need him the most. Right now, when he says listen if you do something, consider me out of the family... well that hurts... I just hope he comes around as I cannot do anything properly like this and will always be blaming either myself or him for the rest of my life.

Quote For The Day
The significance of man is not what he attains but rather what he longs to attain.

May 3, 2006

Couch Potato, Me...... Naaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

If anyone by mistake happens to ask me do you watch TV?? My answer would be yeah, some times.. but to be true to myself I am addicted to it..

I can watch anything and everything from tear-jerker, bubblegum sticky, saas-bahu saagas to scientifically oriented programs on NGC or Discovery. As long as I switch on the "idiot box" I am a dedicated viewer of whatever nonsense is on. Mom is always behind me, "puhleeeaase!! put a stop to it somewhere, not the TV again, you leave your computer and the next moment switch on the TV" Well, she is wrong for once, I dont switch on the TV the moment I am off the PC, rather I do it even before that.. hahaha..

Fun apart, I need to cut down on it drastically.. I have realized that I can go on and on and on just watching TV for days without even doing the simplest thing as walk out to the hall to open the door or even lift the phone for that matter. Talking of addiction, I might as well be shipped away to a rehab at a goddamn place where no satellite dish is in sight and yet dream of watching TV... true, it is that bad.

The best anecdote about TV addiction is from Capsi when she decided not to watch TV until she finished her MCA.. Well, did she succeed, yup!! sure she did. She would just listen to it and not actually watch it. I guess, the whole gang is eccentric.

Even when I complain about those extra inches, it is all because of that 17-inch monster I have in my room.. I know what a criminal waste of time it is, just doing nothing. Put into constructive use I might as well have been an IAS officer by now.. Better late than never.. I need to take steps in that regard quite seriously.

So, can you call me a couch potato by any means... not at all.. I would fall into that "couch pumpkin" category.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey!!!! how can I conclude my thoughts on my fav subject TV and not mention Ads. No way, I simply love them. I just admire the creativity and hardwork that goes into making them. Given the time restriction, barely a few seconds or minutes, it is really amazing as to how they come up with concepts that catch the attention of the nation and actually make them buy that stuff... cool man, I would give anything to be that creative mind behind the scenes!! My all time favorites are the cadbury girl dancing in the stadium and the Cindy Crawford-Naomi Campbell Pepsi ad.

Quote For the Day
"The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does"

May 2, 2006

A couple of extra inches...

The biggest question of all... are the looks and the physique that important??

Hmm.. to be honest.. I am not sure, I think they do not for me but am not really really sure over here. May be the definition of beauty differs from person to person. Did I ever make any friends based on their appearance... well not really sure again.. for me pleasant nature and pleasing manners are a must to strike that first conversation or continue the intiated one..

I have not actually bothered about my own looks until about the last year or so. You learn to appreciate things only when you lose them I guess... Certain things are gifts, you know, a nice complexion, a sweet voice, etc. (well... they certainly are, now that I dont have I realize their worth) and when not taken proper care, we should not be cribbing later on. I actually felt like a hard blow when someone bluntly told on my face very recently "you dont look good, you look old!!" it was then I realized that my looks do matter to me.. why else would I feel so much about something as casual as this when they perhaps did not even mean what they said.. it was just a passing comment but it sure got me thinking.

Forget about things not in my control but what about those which can be controlled?? I used to be so thin that everyone I met used to point it out and say please do something about it.. now that I have put on everybody suggests me otherwise.. why is it that everybody around us has a say on how you look and what you do. Leaving aside what others say, even I do feel mad about those extra inches.. The only time I realize this is when I try to get into my jeans, they just gimme the true picture and needless to say, they dont gimme a good one these days..

Those tyres, ugghhh... they are soooooooooooo bad... I remember me and Capsi deciding never to get into that mode and not even a year since that decision and here I am... boooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooo... Got to get rid of them.. workout time again!! and of course eat right.. I have been gobbling all that I lay my hands on these days.. those chocolate bars, little hearts, and my erratic food timings.. got to do something... sweet ban for a while (sooooooooo sad) the more I think of the ban the more depressed I get :-(.

When mom warned me beforehand, I was like so what!! But to be true to myself, I really need to do something and get back on track before I get into the morbidly obese category.... so here I go.. one, two, three..


Quote For The Day
A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot.

May 1, 2006

In Celebration of Being Alive..

This was one of the English lessons we had in school, dont remember which class but was about a terminally ill boy taking each day as it comes. Back then, I did not really understand it but of late I realize its significance.

Life is sweet and short, a sum total of little big things that matter and big small things that dont. It is all about appreciating the simplest things around us which we hardly pay attention to. Living each day as it were the last would be the best. "Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out alive." this one might seem to be a funny quote but that is actually true.. what do we get out of being serious, Life is such a short one anyways, just live it out!!

The beauty of tender sun rays falling on the dew drops in the early hours, a child's smile, a puppy's love, the green grass, the beautiful sun rise and the breath-taking sunset... ooooooooooooh, there is so much beauty in the nature, inviting us to enjoy each moment and we ignore that treasure falling in the clutches of mechanical monotonous life.

Always cribbing for what we dont have and ignoring what we have.. why do we need to find faults with other individuals, why do we often forget that when you point a finger at another person the remaining 4 point us. It is easy to put the blame on others but accepting the responsibility takes a lot of courage. Petty issues of life like jealousy, superiority, pride, just leave us with a better taste and a negative approach.. Oftentimes, we succumb to those and by the time we realize it is too late to mend, so why get into at all??

There are so many species in this universe but as far as my knowledge goes but for food and basic instincts, no species harms another one except for mankind. How come, being the most gifted of all why do we end up with so many clashes with each other, why is there no compassion amongst the most "so-called" intelligent species ever.

These are so many unanswered questions. All I can ever change is myself, nothing and nobody.. just live each moment thoroughly.. well that should be the goal now..

Quote For the Day
Do not wish to be anything but what you are and try to be that perfectly.

For Evil Eyes on LO