There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Apr 28, 2007

Rare Moments Of Being True To Myself..

Frog In The Well... Yup!!! that is exactly what I am (you are right yet again kiddo), tangled in life's twists and turns, I had to come to believe, at times, that I am the only who has this huge magnitude of problems, I am the only going through weird circumstances, I am the only one who has crazy relatives, I am the only one who has a lot of responsibilities, I am THIS and I am THAT, and what not(how wrong I was). Every time I thought this is it, I have seen it all and here are the happy days, there came another moment which made all the others significantly lesser problematic and all the while I have been feeling as if I am the only who is being tested and ONLY my life is a constant struggle for a peaceful survival.

Back here, away from everything and with loads and loads of time to think and just think and understand, I see many of the people I know struggling with their lives, coming out winners beating all the odds; some ruining their lives making the stupidest choices and being carried away with their own notions of what is right and wrong; some just leading a life with no reason whatsoever; some being pompous; some playing it down. I feel so humbled and I see the need to change my outlook in various aspects and I already sense that I have changed way faster than I would have otherwise.

I see myself changed a lot post my grandmother's death and my marriage, I feel as if my world has been shattered and reset once again and I am carrying on with my life with a totally new perspective. One biggest thing that I always knew but kind of brushed it down and get carried away at times is that I am not doing a favor to anyone by living my life but myself, I do things which I think are right (not what are right), I and only I am responsible for my actions no one could have forced me to do anything had I not given the opportunity...


Aysha said...

Right Gal !!

I just wish you have a great life.

Forget the past and just go ahead with your new life.

Hope you have a bright life ahead. All my best wishes with you !! :)

Mumbai Guy said...

Hey, are you okay? Dunno but think you are mad at someone or something.

Trust me - Life is like that. For everyone. And as we grow older, in age, we miss yesteryear. Be it at age 10, age 20 or age 30. We just miss our good old days.

Keep yourself motivated and keep going. Thats the mantra for successful and happy life. Works for me, atleast ;)

Sush said...

Aysha: Thank you.

MG: Thanks for the concern.. actually strangely enough I was not angry when I wrote that post and am not angry even now, it is just that I felt like I suddenly became detched from myself and looked at my life critically and wrote that.. I think that was cranky sush in action.

sahasra said...

Move on ahead-the quote
sometimes I jump out of my bed from deep sleep and think why am I here sleeping with a stranger....I am the property of my parents,how can he steal me from my parents....but the reality is I am officially married to him with my one hundred percent acceptance...Isn't it weird staying with parents for twenty long yrs and all of sudden a guy enters into our life,He becomes the priority...need to ask his permission for visiting our parents....i can't digest them....but,this is life....we shud move ahead....we can't stick to a certain phase in life....Life is like we can't njoy the present,feel past is the best and thinks future is hopeless.....All the frustration is just b'cos we hv nothing exciting in our life that makes us sober..but when we are busy,we hardly get time to think of both past n future....

Hope u'll find a change in near future....

Apun Ka Desh said...

Hey... just relax.. and take it easy!

See.. we are so good at giving advice to others :)

For Evil Eyes on LO