Foreword

There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Jul 24, 2007

Winds of Change...

I sometimes feel like my wings are clipped and I did that to myself most willingly. Sometimes, I remember my free flights and rue and sometimes I am quite content that I need not fly, strange and self-contradictory, well that is what I have been all my life. I am really happy (hope telling it time and again does not jinx it) at this point, kind of gotten everything I ever wanted but there are little things that make me hyper and momentarily forget what I am blessed with.

There was a time when I just woke up every day and decided what I wanted to do for that day and did a lot of things just on the spur of the moment, no one to question, no one to answer to, absolutely nothing. I was a free bird, a wild one at that. Total freedom at home, corrected when wrong but never ever been stopped as I was supposedly "the responsible kid", the strong one who had her feet firm on the ground and dreams high in the sky working to hard to achieve the goals that I set to myself. Even now I am free, free to do anything but still I feel bound, just the need to think a 100 times before doing anything is getting to be difficult to a spontaneous person like me. The need to think about what others might think or what others might make out of it is something really bothering my free spirit. All the while, I thought if you dont have negative thoughts and bad intentions and just be true to yourself that is it.

Not that I am forced to do or not to do a particular thing but somehow it is just not the same. I am not me anymore.. it is we.. well, it is good in almost all the ways most of the times but there are days when I just feel like being ME as in me. I sometimes I feel like I have lost the vital elements of my old self just like that.

6 comments:

Apple said...

Very true sushma...Once we get married we tend to identify ourselves as a part of the family or society and bound ourselves with many self imposed restrictions...But we shouldn't forget that this applies to men as well...

Ekta said...

u sooo voiced my sentiments..know exactly what u mean!

joy said...

hey u stole my thoughts....everyday is like a struggle for me...who i am who i want to be who i have to be n who i have bcom......does it really apply to men? sometimes i feel but many more times i feel no

Kalpana said...

True sush. I have felt many times the same.

mommyof2 said...

Sush, think again.. I think you ARE a free bird.. :-)

sahasra said...

Hmmm,U no longer is "I" but "WE"

For Evil Eyes on LO