I had no say in what my name was at the time of my birth, but all my life it has been my identity. I was, am, and will be Maiden Name xxx. For those who muse on why I still carry my maiden name, it is because I had no say in having it in the first place and I dont really want to dwell on it PERIOD. It is just that I have been called so for so long and I see no need to change my identity just to prove love or loyalty to anyone. I neither love nor hate either names but I prefer the one I had been called so far, plain and simple. If it is a passing discussion, I let it be and just nod to the person expressing those feelings, but a serious argument or a discussion where I am asked to be the person in question I will NEVER EVER DO IT. I most certainly have far more things to carry on my mind than sit about discussing what I should or should not carry as a surname which, for me, other than for being addressed or identified is of no use in any way but someone forcing me for something will certainly get a piece of my mind on it. If not prepared for the outcome, why discuss in the first place??
My mom has her maiden name in all her records to date but collectively they are Mr. and Mrs. Father's Surname and so is the case with all my aunts who work. There was never a question as to the need to change or a force to do the same, because changing the name is a tedious process and no one had the time nor did they see the reason to. For the women who are not educated or for those who choose to be homemakers despite of good education for whatever be the reason, it might be a different case though but generalizing any one point of view is what I really do not like.
If someone points to me, 'cos my mom changed her name, my wife should too.. I would just not buy it.
As it is we are being referred to as your daughter, your wife, and your mother. We come along with you happily leaving the loved ones who raised us so far and come to your place to run our family and raise our kids in the process forsaking everything that meant a lot to us up to that moment, do we have to lose what has been our identity so long even on paper??
Can there be no thing called separate togetherness?? Cant we be two individuals who come together to lead a life happily without forcing each other for such unimportant things!! Society norms, blah, blah, blah.. I choose not to and that is it... someone hurt, hurt beyond repair.. DO I REALLY CARE?? Why force first and then get hurt as a result of repercussion..