There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Feb 25, 2009

Angels and Demons!!

This is not a book by Dan Brown that I am going to talk about in this post. It is about the way people are categorized in my mind or in general in minds of people. I am a very self-centered person I guess. Of course everyone is, but maybe just a tinge more in me. One of the best and worst things about me is my quality of "being Judgmental". I am way too judgmental in my own opinion. For me, it is either black or white no gray areas, no acting, no hypocrisy masked as diplomacy, nothing. If I like people, I just love them and even trust them with my life but on the other hand, if I have a bad experience with any individual, I just totally cut off and never look back. I know this is not a correct approach but no matter how much I try, I cannot re-connect with that individual at any cost. Even if I do, the crack would be so obvious that I better not even try to patch up.

Mom says one should learn to accept the gray areas in the life too and come to terms with them. One more argument is What is there in being superficial with people, you dont have to like them wholeheartedly just speak and get your work done why give importance them and ruin your peace of mind, be practical get your work done, get away from the scene, you dont have to be honest to those who are not honest to you. But I dont really lose any peace of mind, once cut off, they simply vanish from my life, clean as a slate, where comes the question. But then she argues, how many people will you eliminate and why do you need to change them.. yes, she is right too why the hell should I bother to change any one just change myself. I know I am being stubborn about this but that is how I am.

Give your best in anything you do, any relationship, even for the acquaintances, be genuine and true to yourself if not to anyone else is my policy. Hidden agendas in anything simple or complex just repel me instantly and I cannot tolerate lies. I give a chance to those who lie as easily as breathing air but then when it affects me in any remote way, nothing can stop me from running away miles from them.. so people in my life are either angels or Demons to me. It had been extremely painful for me in the recent times but I stuck with it all because I dont believe in giving second chances as they never really worked out for me. Second time was worse than the first always... I know how tough it is to sail against the tide, so as an MTB, I am forced to think as to what to preach to my kid and how she will turn out to be and that sets me thinking again as to who taught me to be like this in the first place and will I pass on something or will the kiddo come with her own preset emotions and feelings... I guess only time can tell..

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For Evil Eyes on LO