Foreword

There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

Ref: Chichkoo is what I lovingly call my daughter, kiddo my brother, amma and taatee my late maternal grandparents, and OA is the other adult in the family.

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Mar 5, 2009

Why Why Why???

The worst feeling one can have in this world is a mother who criticizes the child unnecessarily and tries to rub her feelings on the child. I feel that the primary essence of motherhood is to let the child bloom and inculcate the best of manners and good nature as much as possible and not to force the kid to do what you think is best for them. Set aside one's biases and then go about correcting the kid if and only IF the kid is going wrong or being immoral. Constant ridicule and partiality towards a sibling ruins the life of the child.

This is what I learnt from looking at life from close quarters and observing lives of people around me in general and my own in particular. There are times when I am scared if I would just model my life around what I actually hate and end up doing what I fear the most of doing and try constantly not to do. Am I being in the "Me-The Victim" and victimizing the people around me in turn. I dont really know. I dont feel victimized but I feel suffocated and helpless to do anything at this current time when all I need is a tiny bit of control over my life.

What does one say of the mothers who

constantly remind the kid that giving life to them and bringing them up has been the biggest sacrifice of their lives.

constantly belittle one kid infront of the other and other people in general for one's extraordinary achievements.

constantly reminding that it is because of her that we exist as what we are and not as beggers down the street and hence you need to listen to whatever she says.

does not understand what the kid is going through and is just focussed on what is not going right according to her own wishes.

does not hesitate a moment to say that one is the worst possible kid that she could have raised and is ashamed of her brought up.

does not shield the kid from external fears and people but in stead supports the others and join them in ridiculing the kid.

Agreed that the feelings of the kid might not always be right and the mother is always right and has good intentions and motives behind whatever she says or she does. But how will a kid who is yet to know what is what differentiate between what is right and what is wrong understand that is being done for his/her good and not otherwise and is it the kid's fault if the mom suddenly seems to be a monster. Will the kid not feel unloved and unwanted and end up being a rebel. Whose fault is it if the kid turns out to be a rebel. If a kid, with all the pressure buckles and goes on to become a depressed and lonely soul always in search of loving and sense of being wanted and finding it at the wrong places who is at fault, who do we blame. The kid who does all this or the mother who has failed to do her duty and most importantly, how will the tortured soul ever find solace.

Agreed, these are the words NO mother would consciously say to the kid. It is the anger and frustration from her circumstances that is making her say so. But if an elder who is equipped with the world in a lot of ways is unable to cope up with the pressure, is it fair to rub it on the poor kid who knows nothing about anything and looks up to the mother, the first guide, for everything.

I sometimes wonder if I am mad to think about what does not affect me and thinking too much of other's lives and try and figure out what would be the impact on me if it were me, but I just cannot let go of so many thoughts that clutter my mind and my heart goes out for the kid facing all that and feel all the more helpless at not being able to rescue him/her and worst still not even being able to spare time to even try and do something for them.

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