There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Aug 6, 2009

Bobby to me... Maama to LO.. we both love you to bits!!!!

Well, it is a bit delayed post but I had been feeling really really lazy these days and hardly get any time after playing with the LO, yeah she is still the angel who gives me my personal time and space but I am drained out too much to be a regular here because of the fever that I am still recuperating from...

This one is for you dear bro...

I love you for being you nothing more and nothing less.

If there is anyone who can understand me for what I am, know how I feel for what, and empathize with me for being me, it is you. I have always loved you very dearly and you have given me back the same. Though we had our priorities, we had our life struggles, and fought like cats and dogs and even decided not to talk to each other ever in our lives, it is ultimately both of us who share the ups and downs of our lives when time and circumstances demand and God knows how thankful I am to have you by my side at the time which can be called the truest testing period of my life.

I feel safe with you because you dont doubt my past as you are a part of it from the first breath you have taken, you dont judge me and let me be, you understand me at times maybe way more than I do myself. Though each of us have our own lives we are a part of each other not just merely by words but by blood and genes. We did not choose each other but as usual God has given me the best without even asking.

I hated you for so many things when I was not mature enough, hated the way you were, hated the way you thought, hated the way you were laid back, hated the way mom always gives me that step-mom treatment when it comes to both of us but I am really ashamed of doing that now. But now I know, you had nothing to do with it, you were just as insecure as I was, just going through the same turmoil but expressing it out in a different way. While I was trying to hush up my frustrations by immersing myself in work you did it with studies.

Being a mom has taught me to look at things in a different perspective, not mine but others. I still have some grudges against a few people but I guess gradually I will come to peace with that too but for now I am taking life by the moment. All I have left for you gratefulness, love, and caring concern.

Honestly, I used to feel that I have done a lot of things for keeping the family together and all that blah blah blah and also had that feeling that you have just taken advantage of me and left in a lurch when I needed you once I got married. I forgot the way you stood by me in each and every decision I made in life, you scrutinized the people who wanted to share the life with me or have close rapport with me, you did things but I conveniently blamed you for being senseless.. I know you have forgiven me for that and yeah I also know now that we dont have to say sorry or thanks but genetically God has gives us each other to hold on to when everything else seems bleak.

You have fulfilled your duties by standing by me when I picked up my life partner, gave me my space and time when I was dealing with my issues, intervened and did your best when I came to you not even hesitating to take all the blame on you and shielding me from everything.. Love you dear for all that you did and yeah I am indebted to you for the rest of my life for seeing me through the toughest journey of my life and being the pillar of strength.. you are my rock of Gibraltar and I know I can die peacefully even at this moment knowing that LO would be as safe 'cos you love her as much as I do and will move earth and sky to make things work for her. If anyone can love her as much as her parents, it is YOU.

Love you... just cant forget those little lucy days and the way you used to run behind me.. you are still my little brother but you have grown way beyond my expectations. I will be there for you no matter what.

PS: I could have written you a personal mail but like everything else that I publish here, I am proud of you and want that to be known and also I know that you wont mind this public display of love or spilling out my feelings without being judgmental.

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