There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Sep 2, 2009

Bad... Mad, Sad!!! is how I feel now..

Well, today there have been a lot of things happening both in my personal as well as social life. To begin with I had to rush to Vijayawada with my CPU in toe for 'nth' time 'cos the system mechanic had replaced my processor... $(%!@#)*&^% I just cant trust anyone these days.. my system woes are more than I can take now.. next time a problem comes, please remind me to trash it!!! Actually, it has been restarting quite a few times and must have been some software issue but the guy who I took it to said that it was a motherboard issue and changed it charging me 4K. I am happy that my issues are over and I return to find to my horror nothing works and everything hangs... enter another mechanic and the issue comes out.. processor, RAM, LAN card everything has been changed $^^(*&*&%&*.. what the hell was the first one thinking.... Grrrrr... and then followed my 'n' trips to get it back to shape. Hopefully today is the last such day.

Secondly, when I reached there, got the system done and was about to have a pizza after about a year (yeah, it has been a year since I had one cant get one in village), I see the news that YSR goes missing.. yeah he is our CM of AP whose chopper goes missing in Nallamalai forests and it has been 14 hours and yet to get any news from him or the people accompanying him. It is an unfortunate incident which cant be helped.

I have my doubts seriously as to the survival. If the CM is on board then the chopper must be equipped with good communicating satellite support and he must be carrying his mobile phone and so will the rest of the accompanying individuals for security purposes. Even if they switch off when the chopper is running if they do a safe landing they would still switch them on and try to contact some one on the ground and these days cell phone towers have cropped up every where, so at least some user would have the signal :( and whatif some maoist group reaches them first (scary), whatif there are some wild animals in the forest and the group has scattered, whatif they fall in a valley, soo many doubts. Everything points to a grave outcome and bad weather complicates things further. I don't wish anything to happen to him but I have my own concerns. At the same time if anything happens to him, there is nothing we can do to revert it back or for that matter anyone can do. All I hope is everything becomes clear soon and there is a clarity about it all and if anything is wrong, let it be known fast so that help can be sent when things are still not out of hand or when people are safe in their homes.. I am too scared to think about aftermath if anything untoward happens.

The politics these days is nearly edging on perversion and I can only imagine what might the grassroots workers do in case something does happen. It is all the more scary as tomorrow... oops today is the nimajjanam day which is usually a red-flag day in Hyderabad for communal reasons. So, me being the typical me expressed my thoughts in a forum and got the blast(nijjamga naakanta avasaramantaara... entolendi adorakam edavaanandam, aina naakantoo oka space edchindi kada akkada tagalettukovacchu kada naa feelings... koti kommacchulu ante ive mari :().

One thing is true though... many must have got it by experience or know it by nature and many must have already written about it but in my true and honest to self, you cannot please everyone, neither can you be good in everybody's book, you are entitled to your own thoughts as they are of their own. If you try to please everyone you will end up displeasing self. If you cant please and you think you might have hurt others say sorry and vanish... do not give explanations 'cos those who wont understand your words cant understand your silence or the meaning behind it.. just be yourself.. people can call you whatever they want to, but BE SURE THAT YOU KNOW WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE (konchem kaadu chaala overga react autunna but then I had a rough day scared thinking what have I brought my kid into, a state where the VVIP goes missing and the entire nation's efforts put together fails to locate him almost a half day later.. or has there been an attempt to cover up something and dragging on giving the news, so much of mistrust on the media and the govt as it is in my case, so boledanni chetta aalochanalu... sighhhh).

I know I am thinking too much... 90% sends bad omens whereas 10% says he will emerge smiling, waving hands and give a lighthearted report of "adavilo nenu and naa anubhavaalu". If he survives it my gut feeling is there will be no stopping him but somehow I doubt it and it is one of those times where I wish I am wrong. I do have my cribs with him but I know there are lots of people out there who have benefited from his schemes and also no matter how much I might not like his approach towards a lot of things, it is not because of personal reasons, it is just that we have difference of opinion in welfare issues ;)... it is past midnight, a new day begins, I had a rough day, but still I wait on with a heart that hopes to hear something good and with a mind that says be prepared for the worst.

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