Foreword

There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

Ref: Chichkoo is what I lovingly call my daughter, kiddo my brother, amma and taatee my late maternal grandparents, and OA is the other adult in the family.

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Nov 29, 2009

KCR-TRS, Telangana... Pent-up anger!!!!

Telangana comprises of 9 districts Medak, Rangareddy, Warangal, Adilabad, Khammam, Mahabubnagar, Nalgonda, Karimnagar, and Nizamabad, the state capital Hyderabad also falls in it. Seriously speaking other than Hyderabad, I have not actually heard of anything much about the rest of the districts other than reading about them in geography books. SRC (state reorganization committee) headed by Fazal Ali in the year 1953 appointed by the then Prime Minister Nehru to re-arrange the states on a linguistic basis which submitted its findings by 1955. The findings were in favor of a different state because of the concerning uneven distribution of resources, the coastal Andhra was endowed with fertile lands and the water resources, the major sources Krishna and Godavari flow through Telangana but lack of dams/irrigation projects and control has never let the people use the resources fully.. After so many political turns and twists and interventions unified Andhrapradesh was formed in the year 1956 on Nov 1 after self-sacrifice of Potti Sri Ramulu whose fast-unto-death acted as the final trigger to the already red-hot issue back then and there was something called a Gentleman's agreement which kind of brought an understanding between leaders from both Andhra and Telangana for equal distribution of resources and many more condition and clauses for the development of the downtrodden areas in both zones.

Lot of people out there are still where there were back then, there is to a large extent lack of literacy, development, nutrition, everything you name it, you find it. Why is there so much of a difference.

But unfortunately, I have seen no proportionate development, while the region of Andhra has developed drastically, the other areas are just kind of neglected, the revenue pumped in Hyderabad was distributed majorly to the already developed coastal region ignoring the Telangana to a large extent and some instances completely as well. Nearly nothing from the agreement was implemented with led to the anger amongst the leaders of Telangana and a movement for separate state was launched aggressively in 1969 which was famous as Jai Telangana Movement which turned violent and many students have lost their lives and the movement gradually lost its spark and there were a few voices raised here and there against the injustice but nothing concrete but from 2000 onwards there has been some movement in the leaders of Telangana.

Since then though random voices were raised and emotions were recharged nothing was strong enough to make the government look back. Some time back in 2000 or so, BJP was in favor of giving separate Telangana but the coalition partner TDP was vehemently against it, so it did not materialize either. TRS then had a coalition with Congress which has promised to strive for separate state, in word but not as an agreement. So, KCR vexed with no action, again joined with TDP for the sake of separate Telagana but fell flat in the recent 2009 elections and kind of lost his credibility. To me, as a common man/woman KCR felt like an opportunist raising voice only when his own personal vested interests were not satisfied, the great alliance was something which irked me a lot!!!!!

To me, KCR (Kalvakuntla Chandrasekhar Rao), is a hardcore politician who once in a while wakes up from a deep slumber and remembers the cause of his political entry and talks and talks and drinks and then talks, he means to do good for the downtrodden but I guess only after his personal motives are met. He enjoys the power and suddenly realizes that his people need to be empowered too. He means well for the people of Telangana districts just once in a while. To me, he is a nautanki-personified. I havent been in touch with his brand of politics though.

He was born in Medak dt, a Masters graduate in Literature from Osmania University, into politics representing Mehaboobnagar constituency. He began his political career through TDP prior to which he was working as a travel agent I guess, not really sure as to his background, but he was a deputy speaker in TDP govt. at the time he left TDP and started TRS (Telangana Rashtra Samithi) which was supposedly to work for a separate statehood for Telangana in 2001. So, it has taken 9 yrs. for him to wake up and make a move this drastic.

I do not see any result from this fast-unto-death drama of his. Yeah you might call me unkind or ignorant but I just feel it is one of his dramas.

I agree, Telagana is the largest of all the three regions Andhra, Rayalaseema, and Telangana yet the development seen in the other two places is clearly lacking in Telangana. Reason???? The CMs from the respective regions have developed their own regions giving a cold shoulder to the Telangana Talli. I agree, the people out there are vexed with futile exercise of waiting up for the leadership to keep up their promises. It is 50+ years and all the plans, agreements, promises, requests, threats, movements just went above the heads of the leadership in both state and center and it is not a surprise that the movement is gradually gaining momentum and people across the globe are trying to help out with the cause for their motherland. I really really appreciate the efforts of NRIs from back there who come down to the underdeveloped and unpriviliged lot and willing to give back to the society they come from.

I just hope KCR just doesnt give it up when everyone is geared up for it. Do I want a separate state, nope I dont want but if that is the only way the people out there can get justice then let it be. I just hope and pray there is light in their lives.

I however, do not like the people creating ruckus on the roads after the arrest of KCR, what the hell, KCR will never get into a bus, wake up you common man, it is we the common people who need to use the govt. resources. We are damaging our very own property. If people are out there on the roads threatening to go for suicides or violence and all, it is their foolishness. Silence and nonviolence is the best policy and people will just have to bow!!!!

It is not about KCR, it is about your motherland Telangana that the fight is on and let him take his own course of action, if he is arrested, cant others jump in put the pressure with peace. It is not fight of a single individual, it is the collective cry for justice, anger pent up after years and years and years of waiting for things to be set right but being shown empty hand time and again. We empower the leaders with power with the power in our own hands (vote) and give one person/one group to rule over us according to their whims and fancies, let us not fall prey to the selfish motives of politicians time and again and go out and fight it out!!!

Good luck!!

PS: By the way, I was born, raised, and currently residing in Coastal Andhrapradesh and this is my stand on Telangana.

Nov 28, 2009

Mining Mafia..

The term coined is exactly fitted. What the hell, here we are trying to figure out what to pass on to the generation next in terms of nature and its exploitation and there they are looting away mother earth's womb to glory.

Mining the resources, cheating the govt. it is so easy right.. give them a share and they dont talk.. they dont have a share and see others taking away the chunk they stomp, create ruckus and bring it to the fore.. no wonder mother earth is showing its fury in the form of natural calamities. Extremes in climate, no rains in rainy season, deadly hot summers, chilly cold winters, all is there to see yet we dont realize. These people minting money for selves storing for generations ahead in their own family dont realize that they are doing the Midas thingie all over again.

By the way, what was the media that creates furor over small things like a couple on the road arguing away personal stuff and all that, doing when the OMC was in a rush to transfer the ore from the mines. Why wasnt the media covering it and why weren't there any exclusive bulletins like this is our channel's exclusive coverage, dont go anywhere. In spite of the stay and the committee and all that happening and the nation's eyes focusing on them they could do that, isnt it what we call mafia???? What does that mean.. evadem cheptey naakenti aney dheemanena?? aa mafia to sampaadinchina dabbuni vedajimmi Karnataka lo laaga prabhutvanni saasistaara/saasistunnara? Matistimitam ledu Chandrababuki ani busyga personal statements pass chese mukhyamantri mukhyamaina vishyaallo enduku neellu namulutunnaru??? JP sir, meeru ekkada, emi chestunnaru??? Vela kotlu antu lekkalu choopedutundi gudlappaginchi choodatam minahaa emi cheyyagaladu saamanyudu.. aina samaanyudey tana votu hakkuni sarigga viniyoginchukunettayite ee badhey undadu kada.

So, with that issue going on, TRS is doing its level best to divert its attention from the pressing concerns.. Agreed, Telangana is one area which has been neglected since the time AP is formed. There is not as much progress as in AP, people still struggle for bare minimum where as people in fertile coastal region enjoy all the benefits, there is geographical discrimination and yes, definitely political discrimination as well, people do starve, people do struggle like anything, they deserve better life. But is it the right way to do. Are the leaders like KCR going to bring about progress to the downtrodden. Sadly, no. It is the people themselves who can do it. Telangaana pratyeka raashtram sounds good, but unna rashtramlo jarigevi bayatapetti jarige akramaala guttu rattu chesi, media attention positivegaa aa issues meedaki teppinchi, paiki raavadaniki krushi cheyavalsindi poyi, enti godavalu... naa kanna talli, naa puttinillu AP adi mukkalautuntey choodalantey chaala badhaga undi but then I am ready to face it if and if only that would give prosperity to my brethren over there.. can anyone guarantee the progress??? do we need the additional burden, cant we get the best out of the existing arrangement... chinni chinni mukkalu chesukuntoo potey emi migulutundi asalu.. kotlu mingey netalu kaburlu cheptaaru, chali kotu kooda leka vilavila laadey janam, 100ki 50ki kakkurti padi vaari venta veltaaru.. vaalla kotlu taragavu, veella kotlu nilavavu :((((((((....

Nov 26, 2009

Accountability... good to know!!!!

I have always thought of JP as a hope in the current completely corrupt political arena. He has been with political leaders for quite some time and yes, he knows the ins and outs and ifs and buts of the political leaders when he was in administrative service, but still he is not yet prepared to face it. He is not as evil-minded and plotting as them but I feel he is a bit laid back. Okay, I agree that quote of Martin Luther King that Silence of good men is more dangerous than brutality of bad men. But there is no point working silently when so-called leaders are shouting on top of their voices and screaming their lungs out and diverting our attention.

I would have been more pleased if he were a bit more aggressive in bringing out those sheep-skinned wolves and stripping them naked of their evil deeds. I believe that he has that power to do so and maybe he alone can do it because he is untouched by any of it so far. I would be lying if I would say I am happy with his performance and want to see more of it. I even find him being diplomatic and noncommittal in various aspects that he can actually fight for and bring into fore. The problem is we have put in a lot many expectations on a single person who is battling against all odds alone. He is no doubt working but with the backing of most educated people he could have done much better than losing himself in that ocean of evil-minded people.

OH has been into active volunteering during the elections in March and April and he felt good about it, I feel good about endorsing JP-brand politics but I would be more happy if he is a bit more open and try to get his words heard than moving with the herd or working silently...

He has done a lot, and aspires to do a lot.. but when cleaning up the core corruption layering from decades after the independence is a huge task it would help if he focuses on exposing them as well as inching towards progress in his own small way. There are volunteers who want to do so much, steer them to the tasks he wants to do now and focus on information and advertising self!!!! When in Rome, be like a Roman... so those who dont do anything claim so much, why not say and show what you have done...

JP sir, waiting for more from you...!! if I and a lot more people like me want our little ones to join your silent revolution, you need to be a little more aggressive than be lost in that ocean!!!!!

Below is an exact replication of the facts mentioned in the blog by MLP (anonymous for some reason).


The problems were ages old and solving any of them need power, money and time. However work accomplished Dr. Jayaprakash Narayan in the last six months is commendable.

Inside Andrha Pradesh assembly:
  1. Proposed the bill to amend anti corruption bill to include elected members under civil servants.
  2. Advanced all party resolution to elect deputy speaker from opposition.
  3. Opposed amendment to Andhra Pradesh societies act claiming it is against right to form the unions in the constitution.
  4. Opposed the bill allocating special quota for Christians in Dalit reservations and proposed to increase Christian reservations.
  5. Opposed populist schemes in 2009 Budget.
Bills in early planning:
  1. Alternative proposal to women reservations bill to give better and fair representation to women.
  2. Voting rights to non resident Indians.

Accomplished in Kukatpally:
  1. Completed the under-rail bridge in Safdarnagar, which was on hold for long time.
  2. Organized free medical clinics in the constituency to diagnose eye and thyroid problems among people to provide better medical facilities. Organized a free medical camp in Balanagar colony with the help of expert doctors and distributed free medicines.
  3. 20 bore wells in the water deprived areas of the Constituency.
  4. Complete the Flood pipeline between Vacant Nagar and Braga Singh Nagar.
  5. Booster pump installed in Satyanarayana Colony to improve the Potable water supply.
  6. Street lighting between Vacant Nagar/Satyanarayana Colony and highway.
  7. Booster pumps installed in Parvat Nagar and Moti Nagar areas to eliminate water scarcity.
  8. Tour the Constituency every Saturday to get a first hand look at people’s problems in constituency. Meet the people face-to-face at IMAX Gardens, Road No. 4 to listen to people problems
  9. Took around 100 samples of drinking water and showed to water board authorties.
Projects under progress related to kukatpally:
  1. Underground drainage in 11 colonies with an expense of Rs.4.40 Crores, which will benefit 2 Lakh people. This will eliminate polluting drinking water with sewage.
  2. 300 mm Manjeera pipeline in Moosapet division.
  3. New roads in phase 9 of Kukatpally Housing Board.
  4. Resume the swimming pool and indoor stadium works on Kukatpally phase 6.
  5. Road expansion works in Kukatpally phase 1.
  6. Establishment of Citizen Help Centers to help Citizens in Government and Municipality works.
  7. 56,000 water connections (10%) in Kukatpally circle are given 9MGD(5%) of water. Efforts are underway to increase the water supply to 16 MGD.

Proposed projects and pending approval:
  1. Foot over Bridge at JNTU Kukatpally.
  2. Cultural auditorium and commercial complex in place of Kukatpally truck park and move the Truck Park to Miyapur.
  3. Sulabh complexes in densely populated places.
  4. Full-fledged water supply scheme to replace the existing chaotic system.
  5. sewerage plants near the existing tanks and wells.
  6. Fence the existing tanks and wells to avoid land grabbing.
  7. Service roads from Moosapet Yjunction to Miyapur to reduce traffic on NH 9
Party administration:
  1. Administer, guide and monitor party units as the head of the Lok Sattta party.
  2. Leading executive board in planning new campaigns and membership plans.
  3. Member of party research wing on state and city schemes and budgets and developing solutions and manifestos.
  4. Organizes weekly press conferences on current affairs like Natural gas issues, flood relief and other political bills.
Misc activities:
  1. Spends three to four hours per week on TV shows to spread political awareness.
  2. Visits universities, private companies as guest speaker activating youth on a monthly basis.
  3. Visits Karnataka, Tamil nadu, Maharastra lok satta head quarters at least once in three months.
  4. Honorary guest at many national and international conferences about democracy and government.
  5. Campaigning on behalf of Lok Satta candidates during various elections like GHMC and state assembly elections.



Pass it on you guys, JP needs to be heard and known by people all over.. maybe we can all shake him up a little and make him more aggressive. I am sure he has an answer for his approach but sir I would like to hear it loud and clear!!!

Nov 24, 2009

Jagan-naataka Soothradhaarulu...

I have decided to go for my take on the events of the day in AP or India in general whenever I could spare some time. I aspire to be in civil services some time soon and that needs a lot of meticulous and planned study hours along with a very strong goal-oriented preparation. With the baby and her needs put first, along with this regular struggle for survival, it is a little tough to be able to spend that quality time, so maybe once she is a couple of years old or maybe when I have the courage to be able to leave her to the care of maids when attending the classes or doing the prep, I would restart.. So, until then the least thing I can do is keep myself posted as to the happenings around and as I do, I would like to do this little exercise of doing my take on the day gone by!!
Liberhan Report
The Babri masjid issue that happened around 17 yrs. ago on Dec 6, 1992 was not something which was done in a fit of anger but a pre-planned and executed act.. big surprise huh!!! More about it HERE.. It has been 17 years since this event happened and with no solution as of yet on hands, it is still a burning topic and a hot cake in the political scenario. It is good that the culprits are brought up it open and it would be great if an action is taken such that any other person deciding to do such thing would think twice, but would that happen or would the topic "Babri-Masjid" still be an active campaigning slogan for the political bigwigs!! Unfortunately, there are quite a few people around who feel it is justified to demolish the masjid in the land where their Lord Rama was born. But seriously, what is so big deal about it, yes Rama was born there and if we are such big devotees of Rama, we need to follow his principles and live up to his image... I just fail to understand how the grass root workers get instigated by the leaders. Cant they just think about their own families before they jump into this riot acts. It is those people who keep doing the rounds of court and police stations, booked in cases, living in fear but the actual people behind it are cool and happy behind the a/c doors and even protected by public security provided by our blood and sweat tax-money!!!! wake up... phew.. I get carried away so easily... **fumes**.

Keeping aside the political aspect, I just wish and pray that the report is taken seriously and Liberhan committee or whatever it is, which has taken sooo long and spent so much money on just to bring out what is a well-known fact, the real culprits behind it are taken to task. Rather than using Babri Masjid as a pawn to move ahead politically do something about it and put an end to the 17-year-old and 100s of crores expensive saga.. and not to speak about the aftermath!!!!!

OMC to stop excavations
Despite of the large hue and cry regarding the illegalities in the mining, the discrepancies in borders, etc., it is surprising that the company is still into excavating and going on as if nothing has happened and the government just leaving it aside saying it is awaiting the committee's report to take an action.

It is clearly established that Jagati Publications or whatever the firms are named in the issue are either directly or indirectly related to the late CM of AP, but the govt. is either ignoring it or pretending to be ignorant of all the findings and busy beating the pulp out of opposition and the opposition is busy with the elections and self-promotion. When will these people be put to task??

Niggadeesi Adugu...

It is tough to put in words what exactly you feel at any point in time.. and it is tougher to put it across in a way that it kind of ignites something in you, arouses something deep inside you in a very strong and able manner. This man is a master of words which dance on the tip of his tongue and the tip of his pen.. truly gifted is he and truly gifted are us who get to see and listen to these master pieces.

There are a lot of thoughts going through my mind these days regarding the political scenario and whenever I think of that, this song comes to my mind... sigguleni janam, evaru vallu.. manam kaada.. aa janaanni chaitanya vantulni cheyyataniki maargalleva? cheppatam telika cheyyatam kashtam... but edi emaina indulo nootiki nooru saatam nijam undi. Hats off Sirivennela sir!!!

Movie: Gaayam
Lyrics: Sirivennela Seetarama Sastry
Niggadeesi adugu ee sigguleni janaanni
aggi toti kadugu ee samaaja jeevacchavaanni
maaradu lokam maaradu kaalam
devudu digiraani evvaru emayiponi

gaalivaatu gamanaaniki kaali baata deniki
gorre daatu mandaki nee gnanabodha deniki
ae charithra nerchukundi pacchani paatam
aekshanaana maarchukundi chicchula maargam

raamabanamaarpindaa raavana kaashtam
krishna geeta aapinda nitya kurukshetram --niggadeesi--

Paata raati guhalu paalaraati gruhaalaainaa..
adavi neethi maarinda enni yugaalainaa
veta adey vetu adey naati kadhey antaa..
nattaduvulu nadiveedhiki nadichostey vintaa
balavantuley bratakaalani sookthi maravakundaa sataabdaalu chadavaleda ee aranyakanda
-- niggadeesi--

Goosebumps vacche song, each time I listen to it.

Jola/Laali Paatalu - 4

చుక్కల్లారా చూపుల్లారా ఎక్కడమ్మా జాబిలి

మబ్బుల్లారా మంచుల్లారా తప్పుకోండే దారికి

వెళ్ళనివ్వరా వెన్నెలింటికి

విన్నవించరా వెండిమింటికి

జోజో లాలి జోజో లాలి

జోజో లాలి జోజో లాలి


chukkallara choopullara ekkadamma jaabili

manchullara tappukondey daarki

vellanivvaraa vennelintiki, vinnavincharaa vendi mintiki.

jojo laali, jojo laali

jojo laali, jojo laali


మలిసంధ్య వేళాయే చలిగాలి వేణువాయే

నిదురమ్మా ఎటుబోతివే

మునిమాపు వేళాయే కనుపాప నిన్ను కోరే

కునుకమ్మా ఇటు చేరవే

నిదురమ్మా ఎటుబోతివే

కునుకమ్మా ఇటు చేరవే

గోధూళి వేళాయే గూళ్ళన్నీ కనులాయే

గువ్వల రెక్కలపైనా రివ్వూరివ్వున రావే

జోలపాడవా బేలకళ్ళకి

వెళ్ళనివ్వరా వెన్నెలింటికి

జోజో లాలి జోజో లాలి

Mali sandhya velaaye, chaligaali venuvaaye -2

niduramma etupotivey

munimaapu velaaye, kanupaapa ninnu korey

kunukamma itu cheravey

godhooli velaaye, goollanni kanulaaye

guvvala rekkala paina rivvu rivvuna raave

jola paadava bela kallaki

vellanivvara vennelintiki

jojo laali, jojo laali

పట్టుపరుపులేల పండువెన్నెలేల

అమ్మ ఒడి చాలదా బజ్జోవే తల్లి

పట్టుపరుపేలనే పండువెన్నెలేలనే

అమ్మ ఒడి చాలునే నిన్ను చల్లంగ జోకొట్టునే

నారదాదులేల నాదబ్రహ్మలేల

అమ్మ లాలి చాలదా బజ్జోవే తల్లి

నారదాదులేలనే నాదబ్రహ్మలేలనే

అమ్మ లాలి చాలునే నిన్ను కమ్మంగ లాలించునే

చిన్నిచిన్ని కన్నుల్లో ఎన్నివేల వెన్నెల్లో

తీయనైన కలలెన్నో ఊయలూగు వేళల్లో

pattu parupulela panduvennelela, amma vodi chaaladaa bajjove talli

pattu parupulelaney, panduvennelelaney, amma vadi chaaluney ninu challanga jokottuney

naaradaadulela naada brahmalela, amma laali chaaladaa bajjove talli

naaradaadulelaney naadabrahmalelane, amma laali chaaluney ninnu kammanga laalinchuney

chinni chinni kannullo enni vela vennello

teeyanaina kalalenno ooyaloogu velallo

Movie: Aapadbaandhavudu

Nov 23, 2009

Har ghadi badal rahi hai...

Some songs just keep haunting long after you listen to them.. one such is the song from Kal Ho Na Ho.. the lyrics touch my heart and are soft and soothing to hear.

Har Ghadi Badal Rahaa Hai Roop Zindagi
Chaav Hai Kahhi Hai Dhoop Zindagi
Har Pal Yahaan Jee Bhar Jiyo
Jo Hai Sama .. Kal Ho Na Ho -2-

Chaahe Jo Tumhe Poore Dilse
Miltaa Hai Woh Mushkil Se
Aisa Jo Koi Kahin Hai
Bas Vahi Sabse Haseen Hai
Us Haath Ko... Tum Thaamlo
Woh Meherbaan Kal Ho Na Ho
!!Har Pal Yahaan!!

Ho Palkonke Leke Saaye
Paas Koyi Jo Aaye
Laakh Sambhalo Paagal Dil Ko
Dil Dhadke Hi Jaaye
Par Sochlo, Is Pal Hai Jo.. Woh Dastaan Kal Ho Na Ho..

Simply superb!!!!! yeah that is simple and super :).

Evadabba Sommani...

.... kulukutunnaavayya?? ani Rama dasu Sreeramudini question cheyyadamlo artham undi.. adi enno kashtaalu padi aa baadhalu orchukoleni aavedana... but this is what I would like to ask each everyone in the current political scenario.

I am not a big fan of the political trend in AP, I have so many thoughts and ideas as to how the politician should not be and so many ideas as to how one should be, but no idea at all as to how to go about achieving it. Like I say, BIG THOUGHTS, BIG WORDS, NO ACTION from my side. I kind of get worked up when the very corrupt politicians make claims and challenge. I do not say Rosaiah is a corrupt man entirely and he is the only one but he knows it fully well as to what has happened around him. He was maybe aware of it all through and this enquiry and stuff is just an eyewash. Deep within everyone knows as to what is what but no one wants to own up the responsibility. The Obulapuram mining incident is just a sample of extent of corruption during the current govt. reign. Thousands of crores unaccountable and treasured by a single individual or a firm, unbelievable, yet a sad truth. If a common man like me and you knows the outcome of the enquiry commission review even before it set out in the first place. The leaders expressing surprise and even shock at times is a performance worth an Oscar or even something of a higher recognition.

I unfortunately, happened to be a witness or a viewer of the present CM’s press conference yesterday targeting the opposition and others and even the guts to challenge them on the GHMC election outcome.. Hats off sir, for your excellent performance. The problem with the govt. and the opposition is they take maximum care not to slip up and get exposed of their corrupt deeds and if and if it does happen, then simple abuse each other in public and divert the attention. The poor public, as usual, will focus on their war rather than the actual issue within. WTH?????. How long do they intend to go on and how long do we intend to let it happen.

The CM further goes on to claim CBN has lost his mental balance and no elected public representative should bow down to the pressure resign because it is public’s decision that their party should reign and not the others. We all know why and how the current govt. is in power, not due to the good work done, not because we are so happy with the past 5 yrs but because of the vote-splitting caused by a couple of new entrant parties which went in to their favor. What else would be the reason that maximum number of ministers holding power or a post in the previous govt. failed to show their magic at vote bank. Can there be any other public judgment.

Okay, let us not get into that stuff again, right now whatever it is, whosever fault it is, they are in the power, let them finish their term, act as a watchful opposition and get back to the war of words or deeds in the next election. Get prepared for the next term from now on focusing on the public development and public service which is actually meant to be their job and not by stripping each other naked in a dirty war of words.

The CM goes on to claim that he would resign if TDP gets one single seat more than Cong in the GHMC elections… whose property does he think is the state and why plunder the tax-payers money and leave the state in confusion. If they are in power, they are in a responsible position, need to see what best can be done with limited self-expenditure or expenditure to run the state mechanism and be able to provide maximum benefit to the people. But, who are we to tell them, once they get in to power all talk and no work is what they do right!!!!!!

I am just short of fumes coming out of my ears to show my anger… but who am I angry at. None but myself for inability to vote despite of trying so much and my brethren who can vote and do vote the people to power by selling themselves for a mere 300 rs/- or less and a bottle of alcohol and I must say we lose the credibility to question that injustice meted out to us 'cos we invited it upon us ourselves.

Nov 20, 2009

Priorities and Uncertainities in Life for Livelihood!!!

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I was born in a village but brought up in Hyderabad all through my growing up years, job and marriage took me to places like Bangalore and America, but my roots are in the village. But so far, I had never spent an year in the village after I got to understand my surroundings. It was only during the holidays or the times when my parents fought real bad to be sent to granny's place, that I stayed in the village. I really consider myself lucky to know a lot of things that I otherwise would have missed in my life which would be the point of another post some time later.

I had been worrying about the livelihood of the daily wages laborers in the village for quite some time now and the plight of the poor farmer is no less bad. First, it was delay or lack of rains that took some time to start the crops. Then came the flash floods in AP which kind of wiped off the fields in some places. But I was really really happy to see the green fields waving with paddy, just about turning yellow and ready to be cut. It felt really really nice to see that they were flourishing like anything (touchwood) and I was like okay, this time around there will be good output from the field and at least the farmer in Krishna district would be happy, but my happiness was really really short-lived.

It is just about the time for cutting the crops and there is this sudden rainfall. I just cant believe it, how much can one take. The poor farmer as it is gets nothing. The crop that he sells for almost nothing, the paddy costs him multifold to buy in the open market in the form of rice. The farmer after toiling and sweating half-year round or whole year around depends on rain and sun for the crop. The person who prays the mother earth and feeds us all is starving. The laborer who helps him is in a worse shape.

The wind and the rain is breaking a farmer's back.. the crop that has fallen down due to rain and wind is not getting a chance to get back up.. the paddy is germinating :(( which would only mean less of production in the crop and more of hardships.. why??? why should such things happen.


It is scary. We, the so-called educated individuals convert the farming lands into real estate and build up the concrete jungle. We have secure jobs, we have a luxurious lifestyle. We work in the a/c, get our pay, and lead a happy life. It is just now, due to recession that we are having some problem, otherwise we wouldnt even bother with what is happening in the world because we are busy minting money either in the s/w firms here or abroad and buying up more and more of property and engrossed in personal issues. We just do not know what it is to be able to see the fruits of our labor go down the drain. It is only now we have the fear of losing our livelihood thanks to the recession and that kind of shakes us up, but what about the poor farmer who sees through all the calamities and just when he is about to reap the fruit of the toil, he is put to test by nature.

My heart goes for those people whose lives depend on the income from the farms. Seeing from close quarters, it just leaves me drained. If just thinking about it has that effect on me, what about the one going through it.

Thank you oh annadata, thank you for deciding to cultivate and feed us. Thank you for not joining our bandwagon and build up the concrete jungle. Thank for the patience to be put through the turmoil time and again and give us food. Thank you, thank you for not giving up.

We have come to a point where a lot of kids only know that rice comes from trees, the crop is called paddy but how many of them have seen them actually growing... forget the generation next, I myself havent seen the paddy crop closely until the other day. Biyyam chetla ninchi pandutundi... err.. vadlu pandutay adi biyyamga maari manam annam vandukuntaam ani cheppatame kaani choopinchaleni rojulu already vacchesay. Inka emi choodalsi vastundo... :(.

I leave you with a thought and question by a neighbor of mine.. "amma computer computer antaaru, computer polam dunnutunda, vaana kuripistundaa, panta pandistundaa... memu lekapote aa computer nokkevaadiki annamedi amma??" Nijam taata, meeru lekapote memu evaram lemu kaani maaku ninnu gurinchi alochinche time ledu... adi cheduga unna.. nijamga nijam.



I feel that I should do so much for the nation and give back something for the world that has given me everything, but well that is the hypocrite in me speaking.. I want to be in civil services and want my daughter to be in armed forces or I want her to be in civil services but I cant bring myself to say okay I want her to be a farmer or for that matter maybe I would even hesitate if she were to wed a farmer, ‘cos of the uncertainty factor in their lives. I have always thought of doing something for the village from outside that place, that is doing something only after making myself comfortable and now that I am actually here and have ample of time that set me to re-think what I actually want to do and what I actually want!!!!

Nov 19, 2009

Me, Just Me!!

I would personally say, kids or no kids.. doesnt make a difference. I am what I was before LO and though a mother, I will always be MYSELF first and next the mother. If I smother my being to be an identity like someone's wife or someone's mother, I would be pretending and in the long run, for my temperament I would eventually burst out. I wont be happy killing my identity. For me, more than being a mother, being a human being is what comes first. I have my daughter, I love her to bits, she is my responsibility, she is my world for now and I am hers.. what next??? She would grow up eventually, turn out to be an individual with her own thoughts and feelings and the need for that very "her own space" which I need now. Until then, no doubt I am there for her, but later on, if I kill my very identity I would just be a burden on her, clinging on to her for my emotional needs and being an emotional wreck if she doesn't respond the way I want her to and which would be a handicap for her.. tell me is it necessary.

When I speak my mind out, people might call me a bad mother, woman, or an individual, I dont really care, I know what I am.. and aaww.. I love my daughter and in order to provide her with complete wholesome environment, I need to love myself more.. I need to keep myself healthy to keep her fit, and yes, I need to practice before I preach her... easy to say, tough to put in practice.

Nov 12, 2009

Children and No Children.. big deal???

I have been meaning to do a post on this for quite some time, especially since the time I conceived and even more so after LO. Why is it that there is a big deal attached to having or not having kids.. why is it that a personal choice or no choice becomes a talk of the town and each and every person has a say or opinion on that.

In the Indian society, once a couple gets married, it becomes everybody's concern from the first month or a few months max if the baby or the news of the baby is not on the way... GOD!!! cant I get a break from that. Cant that choice be left to the parents, cant they decide basing on their financial, emotional, physical capabilities or is it for the society that we end up producing kids. Just give me a break.

If this type is one.. the others, the new parents are of another kind, forcing you with the kiddie info which we neither need nor enjoy and asking directly or indirectly about those who are yet to have kids.

So, what is all the hue and cry about, it can be choice or by chance that you do not have kids, whatever be the reason, do we need to poke our Pinocchio noses into their individual lives. There are two possibilities.
1. They might be planning waiting for the right time to get settled first and then think about kids (great!!), they might be trying hard but without result, which has gotten then worried in the first place and do they need all the external useless factors to bombard their worried souls (give them a break).. No, they dont need your sympathy, no they dont need your advise, just let them BE.

2. Plain and simple they dont like kids (nothing wrong).. just like I and you might not like the dogs, pets, or anything... they might not like being with kids period. Who are we to judge. Like I am entitled to my opinion to have kids and raise them up, they have some other views on it, do we need to make them a target of our talk and disturb them!!!!

I was the target of such emotional trauma which took me to the verge of breaking point, to the point where I was doubting self, it was like hitting really really hard below the belt. As long as it is a personal choice of the couple, who are we (includes parents and inlaws) too to give them a dose whenever possible. Fine, you mean for our good, our welfare, our future, but if it is repeatedly done, we can come to a point of no return with the relationship severed forever. Is it good??.. and I seriously dont want to discuss about parents who are behind the back of the guy to get remarried for the sake of kids.. that is altogether a point of different post.

Another vice is terming the lady "godraalu" I so hate the term, why???? is it just the fault of a woman, cant it be the man and if a woman married to a guy sticks with him for their love and togetherness, is it fair to term that woman and segregate her from the society. I am not a big fan of events, festivities, functions whatever, but it hurts me a lot when being childless is considered the only reason for not inviting. Just looking at such a person brings evil is it?? What the hell, wake up!!! I just want to shake these people till their non-existent brains fill up with some matter at least. Already, a woman or a couple trying hard for the kid is tormented by what they are being put through for no fault of theirs, why do the rest as bystanders need to add up to their woes. Are we so inhuman, so not-bothered about the others feelings in this aspect and go on blindly... and why is there no such term for the man.. or is there and I am not aware of it????

Not being a feminist about it but my outburst is about the people I know in person who have put their wives at the edge of a sword for no fault of theirs. Like this guy who simply doesn't want a kid, no reason offered, but dictates no kid, to add to it, he waves out a sperm count result to show he is fertile but leaves his wife to the parents/inlaws/neighbors/every one in general to comment, suggest, talk nonsense straight to the face, all the while using protection. I just cant digest these things, but sad they do happen. It should be a couple's collective choice to have or not have the kids, one dictating the other in this regard just wont work. Who is a man to question or ask the wife to prove that she could be a good mother and then think about it... disgusting!!! This is another angle to the problem which might lead to disruption of the lives of the couple.

I feel that it is important to be a good individual with a kind heart and being a parent or not in any way does not hinder that. It is good to keep the child in us alive than giving birth to a child. I so wanted a baby and I had, so what is the big deal that I keep showing that as a trophy to others. I personally refrain from talking so much about LO with anyone in general. She means a world to me, not necessarily them, why bother them with my nonstop ga-ga.

It does not matter to me if my friend or any individual for that matter is a mother or not, it is never my criteria to judge her. If I post about my daughter, I post about a lot of other things too, my world is centered around her for now and will always be, so maybe a little bit more about her, but there will come a time when I have to gracefully give way, which I would.

Branding people child-less is something which I vehemently object to. I see so many of them giving life to the orphans and unloved kids. Isnt that the most noblest gesture of all. I also respect those who dont want to be parents by choice because they are not bowing down to the pressure of having a kid just for the sake of the society and leaving them to fend for themselves. At least, they are clear as to what they want and what they dont.

Childless... no, they are not.. they are keeping the child within them alive whatever the reason be, let them be in peace and knowingly or unknowingly never give a chance for them to feel bad... I am trying and if ever, I did hurt anyone, a big sorry!!! and others who want to discuss or comment something like this about someone please keep away, because you would be hearing my opinion, which I am afraid, will not be as softly put in words in person.

Bommalu... Gnaapakaalu

The train, top, rattles, and the nested toys..

I used to love my childhood toys, the lakka pidatalu I used to call them, the cooking set, the touch of color. Those were the toys from Etikoppaka. A wonderful place. I once heard about an organization which collects unused or used and stored-away toys for children in orphanages, slums, etc. and felt okay, why do we need to do that.. why dont we gather books, clothes, or money and get them educated. How wrong was I ? When I see the glow in my daughter's eyes when she sees or plays with a toy, when I see the school kids come play with my daughter wholeheartedly with her toys and feel really really grateful for that, I realize why. That is CHILDHOOD, the joy, the unadulterated happiness that comes with small pleasures, toys, that is... I have decided that I would go ahead and give away all the kid's toys once she grows up keeping just a couple of them for keepsake.

Toy selection is a huge task, but the traditional wooden toys made out of non-toxic tree dyes, and vegetable dyes are the ones that I prefer for the kiddo apart from the whole range of educational toys from Fisher-Price or Funskool.

On one hand, it would be like encouraging the handicrafts of India and on the other, it is good for her to chew on or play with which she does most of the times and yeah they are washable too..

I got her first rattle from Kalanjali, a bit too expensive is what I felt later on when I got the same from the local exhibition the other day for another kid... the rattle that cost me 150 at Kalanjali, cost me just 25 in the exhibition. Was there any difference, minimal if any. So, I would say, do visit those handicraft exhibitions and help the craftsman rather than feed the already rich mall owners.

Also, I personally prefer wooden/cloth toys rather than the plastic ones.. green parenting :).. but you can ask me what is green about cutting down the trees and making them into toys... point!! BUT I would rather have my kid lick/suck/bite on non-toxic dye toys than the plastic ones, which can cause lead poisoning or something like that.

The nested Indian dolls... the set of 6 nested in each other, love this one..

I remember playing with mud, sand, pebbles when I was a kid storing them in each doll :). However, for the LO I take out the last 3 and give the remaining set, 'cos I am a little scared she might choke on them. It is very much affordable too 150/- I would say is a steal for the amount of work put in for this one... and yes, the train cost me 180/-, the long rattle 25/-, and the round rattle was from Kalaanjali that cost me 150/-... and guess what the tiny toy in the first pic is, it is a top :) at 10/-. How lucky LO is, I remember the days when I used to make a top or get one made by my granny used black clay and a broom stick stem (cheepuru pulla).. but yeah, the joy of a hand-made top is altogether different :).

Hehehe... and for those who know me... yeah more than LO, it is me enjoying them :)... errr... let me put it this way, I am enjoying the way LO enjoys playing with them ;).

Nov 11, 2009

Really Really Long... :)


Looking back, it has been almost a year and half or more since I actually cooked up a real meal. I did cook a couple of times maybe Maggie or some curry, some odd dish here and there, countable on fingers... so when I decided to dish up a real meal for my mama who is a Swamy in Ayyappa Deeksha and about to leave to Sabari Mala in a couple of days, it felt like a real huge task!! To top it up, I had no help, may be that was God's will. Did I panic... need I tell that?? I did... washing, cleaning, cooking, took up a real long time and the most shameful thing is I did not even know what was where :(.. need to go there more often. Right now, all I do is keep the ingredients and stuff ready for LO's meals and oversee the preparation of just her meal.

Thankfully, with the kiddo taken care of by neighbors and only attending to her at feed times, I managed it well.. and yeah it calls for more than celebration as everything turned out real tasty, helloo... self dabba kaadu... it really tasted good.

So, the resolution is to do it more often, and become a reasonably good cook, if not an expert by the time LO's palate demands more tastes...

Nov 8, 2009

Dear Daughter - 7



Dearest LO:

Unbelievable yet true..
Cant be so fast yet so lightening fast...
Cant end so fast yet it does...

You enter your 8th month tomorrow and maybe this is the first time the mail is a bit early.

The time with you flies.. err... vanishes, seconds watching you turn to minutes and hours and yet it feels like I just laid my eyes on you. I know every mother feels so, am not an isolated case and every mother goes through the very same feeling with the same intensity or maybe more. Maybe just I am being crazy, 'cos time wont stop if I stop blinking looking at you.

This month has been the month of trying to sit up, squiggle down, play in mud, flowers, understanding things around you, lots and lots and lots of changes. You are rapidly developing into an independent being with your own likes and dislikes, I just hope I am providing you the right kind of environment to grow just right within my means.

The best gift you have given me is being able to see life in a new prism with you.. living my life again through you forgetting everything and just being with you is the best balm for my tired soul.

The significant development is you have officially started uttering some sensible sounds after stopping midway through with amma and akka.. it is now atta-taata and aao aao thanks to Zora's hindi flavor :). Mundugaa Atta ante aishwayaram, taata antey aayushhu antaaru kada... you already said amma but officially regularga start chesindi taata anna maata.. adi anna neeku manchi aarogyam, aayusshu, ee renditiki minchi manchi manasu raavali ani naa manasu nindaara deevistunna. May God bless you with a voice as sweet as an angel, a tone that soothes souls, a heart that heals the wounds, and a mind that knows good from bad!!!! God bless and muuuaaahhh....

Another thing my sweetheart is that you have green fingers, whatever you plant flourishes well (touchwood) might be a coincidence but whenever I make you plant a seed or a plant it rains and it does till the plants rises its head up...(touchwood). You seem to have the best time when we do the gardening, me for greenery and you obviously for the mud-play sessions wherein you are allowed to do anything with the mud and water other than putting in your mouth. Just hope you grow up to be as diligent and patient with plants as you are now and have your surroundings clean and green.

One thing I am actually sad about is cutting down the OUR time and leaving you with maids and neighbors every once in a while in a conscious attempt to get you used to my absence but again, using your name is just an excuse. It is actually me who needs to get used to your absence. How did I ever stay with out you so long. Like the words from my favorite song... "every move you make, every breath you take, every step you take, and every bond you break.. I will be there with you, what would I do without you and darling what was I doing without you...." I need to be less obsessive about you before the people brand me a maniac. As it is I am a target of a lot of jokes about our military disciplined routine.. but dear, it is the discipline that would take you long in the long journey of life because my angel, there are miles to go before you sleep.

Love you..

Amma.

PS -- Her first picture on the blog.. I am way too senti about it, so the softening effect. And yeah that is the picture where she is planting her first plant on this planet.. earning her oxygen on mother earth. How about you guys.. Go green and spread green whenever and wherever possible!!!.

Watching Her...


... watching the rain is one of the many best things so far.

LO watches rain with an awe-struck look I so wish I had a handycam to capture it all but the what the heck, had I been busy capturing it all, I would have missed that first rain feeling with her. Yesterday was a complete full-fledged rain watching session for her. First time after she began to observe things and understand whatever she does :). The wonder in her eyes, the curiosity trying to figure out where the water was coming from keeping her eyes and mouth wide open, correlating the sound to the rain drops, watching the drops turn to bubbles and travel a little and then burst, it was all so new and exciting for her and she made sure that I understand that she was observing a lot of things.

.... and for the first time in years, maybe ever since my childhood, I have actually enjoyed the rain falling down from the thatched roof, the gold-colored drops trickling down the grass, the bubbles in the water, the water canals, the tiny frogs jumping up and down, the cool breeze, the sound of rain drops on the parapet, the shaking leaves due to the rain force, even the minutest detail of the rain. It feels so refreshing to watch the drops fall on the leaves, everything is so clean and fresh, the dust accumulated on the leaves just gets washed away showing the leaves in their best form... well, when God has given us so many natural marvels to enjoy, it is really unfortunate that we get stuck to our monotonous routine, preferring to watch TV instead of the rain. If not for my daughter, I had actually forgotten how good it actually feels to be in rain and enjoy rain.

Thank you kiddo for making me look back at life the way you do... love you baby.. God bless and may you retain this blessing for ever.

As I type this, I hear the chirping sounds of birds, the fresh green leaves moving gently with the cold breeze and the sound of your deep breathing and need I say, I have never been so close to heaven so far!!!

Image Source

Nov 6, 2009

AIDS -- close encounters

This past week has been a little depressing to me because of LO's being sick and a lot of other reasons too.. it has been a bloody week to be precise.. with LO scratching her ear out till it bled and then again her leg got stuck in maid's anklet and she bled again. It is scary bringing up the kids... phew..

The other reason is a couple of deaths within days that caught my attention. As I stay in a village, anything that happens to anyone is known to everyone and since most of the people in the village are too old, it is very common to hear about a death or two in a month. The cause of death was AIDS. Yes, I was kind of taken aback when I got to know that these were not the isolated cases and there were quite a few people in the village attacked by this deadly disease. I felt that it was quite refreshing. No, not the fact that a lot of people are AIDS-stricken but the way they were approaching life and the way rest of the village is reacting to it.

Seriously, to be honest, I have never seen one in real life or let me put it this way, I had never seen one who knows he/she has AIDS or has disclosed it openly to others. The first time, I heard about a case, I was like okay and to be honest, I was like ohhkay, maybe a little wary too. I could not help but have kind of a different sort of feeling... like oh!! is this guy too that of that sort?? and when I look back, I am kind of ashamed of thinking so after knowing so much about the disease that the only mode of transfer is not just sexual connections.

The point of the post is, there are quite a few people affected and no one treats them separately, they go to work, they are invited to every single event in the village, no seggregation nothing. Even uneducated people have come to terms with it and they are just treated as equals. A lesson learned. There are so many things I can say or I can claim but coming to reality, it was a little different. I was just taken aback initially but am now very casual about it all. LO plays with HIV positive kids, they all have fun together, and I am glad I have not shuddered the way my mom did when she got to know they are.. but seriously when it is not infectious, it is not an epidemic, why do I have to bother as long as she and the kids are having fun.

After I got to know about the number of AIDS cases in the village, I was brainstorming as to what little way I can help them.. but honestly, I feel that they don't really need help, all they need is acceptance which they already have. It is our duty to help people not get affected by it rather than try and figure out how to help the already affected.

In my research, I got to know that the lorry drivers, truck drivers with national permit, who remain away from the homes for long stretches of time are the ones who are affected mostly and they spread it to their spouses and unknowingly the kids. A lot of cases have actually come to light when the mother was tested for HIV during pregnancy, heartbreaking isnt it. A few went ahead with the pregnancy, a few tried to commit suicide and a few succeeded to end their lives but the brave lot moves on and educates whosoever is not aware of it all and keep the village youth under control by preaching them by examples.. but still there are new cases cropping up quite often leaving the families shattered. What can be done????? Another issue of concern at the grass-roots level. How can the government contain it. As an individual what should my contribution be??

One good initiative that I have seen is free condom boxes planted at various places like the railway tracks in the village, end of the village, not in total public view but at the same time within reach of everyone who needs one. It is called Ankita box.. will take a pic sometime soon and place it here. It is a real good idea, awareness and providing them with precautions so as not to spread it.

People now know that they should not get injections from re-used needles, they take their own blades to the barber, they are cautious about their health but not conscious about being around those who suffer from it.

Nov 5, 2009

Yayy and Nayy

Sachin crosses 17K runs.. the only person to do so... yay!!!! enduko naa dikkumalina mindki morning paper choosi duck out avutaademo ani addamaina doubt vacchindi but okay, no ducks... so hurray!!!!!!! good job master blaster Sachin!!!! Proud of you!!! anteylendi.. manam chesi chacchedi emi undakapoyina evariana chestey ubbi tabbibbavvadamlo tappu ledu kada :).

PRP-Congress so-called coming together for Greater Hyderabad elections --- Nayyy... I had a kind of hope, no matter how tiny it is that this guy Chiru starting the party with so much dhamaaka would do some good, or at least keep the govt. on the toes... ayyo.. on the toes enti.. gurru petti padukuntunnaru govt. vellunna kooda emaatram bhayam lekunda. I am yet to see some kind of genuine change these guys promised. Other than the changes in their party, people leaving them, joining them, publicity stunts by Pavan Kalyan and the others, I do not see any change... and God, can you drive some sense into that guy's mind that BIL is good with family affairs.. No matter how much you say you treat the state like your family, keep the BIL away and let him just manage your life and family not the state. Thoroughly disappointed about this event in the recent past.

Telugu script readers slowly vanishing --- Nay!!! Maatrubhaasani amma bhaasha ane stageki vacchesaru pillalu... thank God, neeyamma bhaasha anatledu ani nenu saripettukuntunna :((((. I would just want to the generation next understanding their language. English is a global language but my Telugu is sweeter than anything 'cos it is my mother tongue.. maatru bhaasha.

Sreevari Nagalu 52 Kotlu -- Nay!!! -- Come on who the hell is going to believe this anyway, I just wont... antey anni daachesukoga, taakattu pettesukoga migilina sommaa idi??? or aa rojullo.. I mean Krishnadevarayala vaari kaalam naati viluva kattaara?? Where are we heading up to!!

Increasing child/teenage suicides -- Nay!! -- This is alarming as to how the trend seems to be catching up, kids as small as 11 and 12 yrs. committing suicide... (mouth wide open) will write a big post soon.. but this really kills me from within.

KCR -- Nayyyyy.. Nayyy... Nayyyy!! Cheap language, chillara veshalu, out and out disgusting fellow in the current political scenario.

Jagan - Rosaiah camps -- Nayyy!! Evaro okaru nilakadaga undi bandi nadapandira babu... and by the way, what is the rush to be a CM. Now that YS is no more Sakshi sees problems with govt.. great!!!

Seven-Seater Autos -- Nay!!! -- Speed kills and these autos kill you faster.. cant the govt. put in some regulations on them :(.

Bigg Boss - 3 starts -- Yay.. AB hosts -- Nayy... I just dont like AB's hosting... pheeka pheeka anchoring for a spiced up show. This is the only show I watch on TV these days.. kya karoon controlhi nahin hotaa!!!

Ganesh -- Yayy!! -- This is a cool feel-good movie.

Mallanna -- Nayy!!! Mix and match of Gentleman, Sivaji, and Aparichitudi anipinchindi... waste of time.. Sriya.. yucky!!!

Eenadu -- Yay!! Did not watch "The Wednesday" so felt this movie was cool but Kamal's talent was wasted in a role which justified itself in just about the last 15 minutes..

Josh -- Nay!! Chaitanya has some potential, better than father in his initial days... got a lot of image breaking to reach a point his father did thanks to his grandfather, father, and cousins.

Not in any particular order, these are the things that really get to me these days and some of the upsides.. and yes, I do manage to get some time to watch movies, when??? when the kiddo is sick and I need to do a night-out watching her out....

Nov 1, 2009

Naalo Unna Manasu...

I absolutely love the movie Antuleni Kadha. There are families where such things really happen. There are people who still give up their happiness for the sake of people only to be abandoned. There are a few lucky people who get peace and comfort in their old age after so much of sacrifice. Again, this is something like a factual fiction with some movie masala added to it, but by and large a movie which kind of shows the naked reality. My heart really goes for Jayapradha's character each time I see the movie and no matter how much I say, okay this is the last time I am going to see it, I end up watching it given a chance...

There are a couple of songs in which I like.. but this song sung by the legendary S. Janaki touches my heart each time I listen to it and says that I am not alone with problems, there are many out there and kind of soothes my soul. It is strange how comforting it feels to know I am not alone.. does that mean that I have that sadistic pleasure of seeking comfort in others' pain???? phew... ento naaku nenu chacchinaa artham kaanu :(.

Movie -- Antuleni Kadha
Singer -- S. Janaki


kallalo unnadedo kannulake telusu - 2
Raallalo unna neeru kallakelaa telusu -2
Naalo unna manasu naaku gaaka inkevariki telusu.. !!kallalo!!

Taane mantai velugettu deepam… cheppadu tanalo chelaregu taapam
Ne vellu daari… o mulla daari - 2
Raaleru evaru.. naato cheri
Naalo unna manasu naaku gaaka inkevariki telusu -- !!Kallalo!!

Vesavilonu vaanalu raava… Kovela silaku jeevam raada
Jarigenaadey jarugunu anni
Jariginanaade teliyunu konni
Naalo unna manasu naaku gaaka inkevariki telusu -- !!Kallalo!!

India vs US for baby birth!!

Purely Personal Thoughts
If there is no choice, there is no point of this discussion. For those people who either are on the foreign land because of job or by choice and are planning kids, then this question arises.

We might say, we are global citizens, the geographical borders don't matter, all is in the mind, don't think small, think big, have a large heart and stuff... but excuse me, it just doesn't work that way.. we might be open-hearted the society/world isnt. Sounds idealistic on paper and in speech, coming to practicality does that really happen.. yes of course, there will always be a beginning, someone someday maybe :(.

People call me crazy for deciding to have an Indian baby in spite of having a chance for a US citizen, but I was adamant and am glad about it, dont know how LO would react to this as an adult.

People can give big lectures as to being patriotic and giving birth to kid in their motherland and doing service to the motherland, some might claim it is cheap thinking.. why dont you think big???, some say upbringing makes a difference not birth. We as parents or people in general can claim whatever we want to for the sake of a discussion or an argument but what we think might not necessarily be the thoughts endorsed by our children... so there will be a big question hanging over our head until the time they grow up and question or thank us for whatever we have done. I just hope I can see LO's reaction on this some time in the future.

So, when we have a chance to decide the fate of a kid (golden future with US citizenship or struggle and come up with Indian one) what would it be???

I know this can drag on to be an eternal discussion and there would be distractions no matter what the choice is.

My thoughts pre-LO in a forum were something like this...

Indian
Indian for me..

people call me crazy for that, but somehow, I want my kid to be an Indian.. I dont think I can digest the fact that my kid will be singing God Bless America.. !! India has given us so much, I want the kid to understand my motherland as well as I do!! I have money in US, clean and green lifestyle, a better quality of life but I just dont have that freedom that I have in my motherland.

Coming to the point dont Indian kids born in America sing that song.. yes, they will because US is the place giving them shelter, food, and good life at that point in time but Vandemaataram is still the song that have a greater meaning in their lives (not a petty discussion on song singing but my personal feelings)

Maybe I am thinking too much but they might not be in a position to say that this is their native place.. like the situations we have grown up in and all are quite different, so our thought process and thinking might be tangentially different from theirs in the growing up years which might cause a lot of friction.

I wont say the routine sanskruti sampradayalu totti dialogue but somehow I feel that the sense of belonging would be lost on a kid born here. Even if they do adopt that complete sense of belonging to that place, will they actually be treated as one by Americans in spite of the fact that they themselves are immigrants from various parts of the world!!..

I just dont want the insecurity the Japanese-US citizen had to face at the time of Pearl Harbor.. what were they Americans, Japanese what.. America treats them Japanese and Japan treats them American.. so what is left for them???? Doesnt mean US and India would be at war or something like that but even if far-fetched that is a possibility right... am very much confused as to what direction to go about as is the OH.. but 99% it is an Indian baby.

Coming to whatever place the kid is born, upbringing is what matters.. it surely depends on how you bring them up but a person who he/she becomes is a sum total of a lot of factors influencing them and whatever the parents decide is purely an individual choice.


Post-LO

I think my thoughts are really conservative in this aspect.. I was being extra-protective maybe.. the response I had given in the thread earlier was based on an assumption, something which was an idea/thought/decision at that point in time.. now, I have a baby and yes, she is India-born Indian which again is a purely personal choice... but looking back I still think what I thought was right given my circumstances. I absolutely do not find a fault with decision of US-born Indian kids, 'cos it might have been a well-thought out decision from their end too given their circumstances..

I hereby state my reasons for wanting an Indian baby and if it were right choice needs to be seen as she grows up.

****
Me and Sreya now can both relate to India the same way, I am the sort of a person who gets wild when an Indian criticizes India for being what it is by staying abroad.. so I was scared at the prospect of a nationality-war between the two of us ;). On a serious note, I wanted her to have the same sense of belonging that I have to this nation which I think she would not have if she were to be born there.. will explain it below
****
We become what we become by the way of upbringing and the society we are in. Agreed, I bring her up with traditional Indian values but the society she is a part of, no matter how many Indians are there in the place we stay, does not support these traditions which might leave her confused. Adaptability is something which comes with experience and putting her through a cultural confusion as an infant/toddler/adolescent is something which I wanted to avoid.
****
Okay, there is caste system in India, there is reservation, there is cheap politics, there is hell a lot of corruption, there is social strata discrimination, which I do not want my kid to go through.. considering all these factors, I had a slight bent over the American citizen, but more than anything even if I had to take a gamble and do that for the kid's golden future, the financial constraints and commitments IF AND IF we get back to India made me back away from the prospect.. like I just cant afford the lifestyle she will be given there no matter how much hard I work.. NRI fee structure is literally mind-blowing and it is like bringing up a white elephant.. I cant give her the cleanliness, the corruption-free life, the lifestyle, the multi-culture, being in a place where people all over the world vie to be, etc., once I come back here by chance or by choice. I am not sure as to how long we would be there in US in the current recession scenario and all that.. but even before this current trend, something like this was always at the back of our minds, so better be with a thought we don't belong in US than have serious adjustment issues when we are forced to go back.. again purely personal opinion/choice here.
****
the lack of freedom, it says it is a free country but then there are so many restraints.. visas, extensions, visits, visiting India on a foreign visa and applying for extensions to stay there :(((
****
Being here and facing the problems make me all the more resolute to stay put and make the difference in whatever way I can by giving my daughter to this nation... (I know quite senti).. don't know what she would become later on but would surely want her to be in armed forces or civil services or politics whatever her choice be.. if not also fine, I made an effort and she is a free soul. Like they say, kadupu nindaa unnavaadiki aakali viluva teliyadu. You need to be hungry at least once to know how it feels like to be hungry, so I need to personally feel the pinch to be able to get motivated..err.. or that is what I feel.

All these things.. I might be wrong, they might be silly issues for some but deep down, I don't want to go through them all. No patience to struggle than I already had to, so I preferred Indian baby and had one.. not a justification but my thoughts involved in the decision..

However,

I would like the baby to grow up with some values that US kids tend to develop my virtue of birth or brought-up
1. Independence.
2. Adjustment.
3. safety/responsibility towards the kids until they are on their own.
4. social security.
5. Most important of all, not expecting parents to give the property.. it is disgusting back in india to see people fight for what little property the old souls saved... i would be happy if they fought for taking care of the oldies instead!! I love the way the kids back there need to fend for themselves once they are self-sufficient.
6. Treating everybody equally no matter what he or she does.. the barber, the waiter, the cook, everyone, so social strata discrimination.

I again want to reiterate the fact that I have no intention to belittle/berate anyone. I respect their decision to have the kid in US as much they do my choice. Like I stated my reasons they will have a lot of their own which are genuine and valid, the most crippling of all is the caste system :((. They might actually do much much more to India by being an NRI or PIO than what me and LO or a whole lot of Indian citizens collectively do for it. Like me and a lot of us back home, they can be mute spectators of the events happening and not be able to do anything from that place of work but their heart still beats for the country and would skip a beat if something were to happen to it.

Deep down even if not expressed they are as much patriotic, no two thoughts about it!! IF and IF I have a grudge, it is on those who absolutely hate India and take pride in mentioning that opinion as many times as possible to whoever bothers to listen or ignore.

For Evil Eyes on LO