There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Dec 29, 2010

Repalliya Yeda Jhallana..

Movie: Saptapadi Here.
Singer:  P. Suseela

Repalliya eda jhalluna pongina ravalee
navarasa muralee.. aa nandana muralee idena..
idenaa aaa muralee.. mohana muralee -repalliya-

kaalindi maduguna kaaleeyuni padagala
aabaala gopaala maa baala gapaaluni

accheruvuna, aa cheruvuna vicchina kannula jooda
taandavamaadina sarali, gundela mrogina murali.. idenaa aa murali.

anagala raagamai toluta veenulalarinchi
analeni raagamai maralaa vinipinchi marule kuripinchi

jeevana raagamai... brudaavana geetamai -2-

kannela kannula kaluvala vennela dochina murali idena.. idenaa aa murali..
venuugaanaloluni muripinchina ravali natanala saralee aa nandanamuralee.. idenaa aa murali

madhuraanagarilo yamunaa laharilo-2-
aa raadha aaraadhanaa geeti palikinchi

sangeeta naatyaala sangama sukha venuvai ..aa..

raasaleelake oopiriposina andela ravali idenaa.
idenaa aa muralee... -repalliya-

Movie:  Seethakoka Chilaka
Singer:  Vani Jayaram.. Here.

saagara sangamame pranava... saagara sangamame, pranava sagarasangamame

janaki kannula jaladhi tharangam.. aaaa.. aa.. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..

janaki kannula jaladhi tharangam
raamuni madilo viraha samudram
chetulu kalipina setubandhanam
aasetu himachala pranaya keerthanam.. saagara sangamame

One word awesome!!!!

Another gem from the same movie,

sa sa sa ni ni ni... pa pa pa ma ma ma.. ga ga ga sa sa sa ni ni saa
alalu.. kalalu.. yegasi.. yegasi.. alasi solasi poye
sa ga paa pa pa paa ma ma paa pa pa paa
pagalu reyi orisi merise, sandhyaa raagamlo
pa ni pa ni pa sa ni pa maa gaa
praanam praanam kalisi virise jeevana raagamlo... -tananananana-

alalu kalalu yegasi yegasi alasi solasi poye
pagalu reyi orisi merise, sandhyaa raagamlo
praanam praanam kalisi virise jeevana raagamlo -alalu-... !!takatom, takatom, takatom takatakatakatom!!

nee chirunavvula sirimuvvala savvadi vinte
aa sandadi vini dendamu kitikeelu terachukunte
nee pulupu ane kulukulake kaliki vennela chilikenee jadalo gulaabikani mallelerrabadi alige
nuvvu pattucheera kadite o puttadi bomma
aa kattubadiki tarinchenu pattu purugu janma... naa puttadi bomma.. -alalu-

Thanks for reminding me the song siri.. just go to a trance whenever I hear these songs.. simple sweet music flowing and everything else just vanishing into thin air.. awesome feeling..

There is something about people who have this quality to the voice like they caught cold.. i dont know what it is technically called or whatsoever.. Vani Jayaram, Jesudas.. I just love them both.. any time any day... any song.. especially soft melodies..

Dec 24, 2010

My Political Take..

It has been a long time since I did an out and out political post, partly because I am too engrossed in day-to-day life and absorbing my moments with the kid with a lot of hunger and indulging in unlimited love from her (touchwood) and most because I am totally worked up about the status quo. Everything has gone for a toss after YS's sudden demise, he ran the state with an iron fist, no one dared to do anything, by fear or power whatever he made the running smooth at least superficially, now to me in layman terminology the state looks like a platter of leftovers left for a group of stray dogs to fight over. Well, that is how I feel very honestly.

Media, my love-hate relationship with it is well know, now is more towards hate because of the bias, you have power, money go for a paper which works like your voice and your views for public and one can easily figure out who belongs to what party just based on the paper they get and the channels they watch.. sick, the meaning of media changing!!

Any change with JP being in the assembly.. yes, he makes his voice heard, he comes with solutions and for a change good to see the new CM jotting down some points when he speaks, would be great if we can see them in implementation but I personally want more from a leader that cadre not just media coverage for a few seconds or minutes asking for his opinion on each and every aspect and focusing on none. I am beginning to find him trying to be "politically correct" most of the times than making the political situations correct.

One major wish for this Christmas for me is for the government to stop paying airfare/travel fare to these MLAs and MPs.. to me it seems like half of AP leadership is in Delhi at any given time, sick, sick sick.

CBN desperately trying to get a new lease of life in politics and come to the forefront actually succeeded and got a new lease of life with Kiran's indifferent attitude just like YS's death and the political instability gave life to KCR's ambitions whatever they are.  I do not support CBN's ideology, I dont support the  strike the reasons underneath but I cannot, at the same time, not trust his actually doing the fast and would hate to lose a hardworking CM I had personally seen.

It is sick to see so many changes, so much of instability, so much of internal conflicts, so much of dirty linen washed in public.. all just so as to say in limelight.. Honestly, I did not know who the new CM is until he became a speaker, never been in news but good to see some young educated blood in these turbulent times.. he hardly got a chance to show what he has got in him for the state that he is in a soup some times from his own party and sometimes from outside.. sycophancy at its heights is what I am witnessing in this time and age of AP politics.

Coming to Jagan, he has no life in politics whatsoever once he floats a party.. Odaarpu yatra is such a farce, almost everyone of us knows that the number of deaths during the time period of YS's death had nothing to do with his death.. with all due respect to the deceased, it was all a frame up, desperation speaking, cheap tricks played by buying the relatives of the dead people for whatever else the reason was.. everyone knows but no one comes out in open and it takes some national dailies to figure out and come in open while our local media just kept on giving statistics of deaths while still being labeled as pro-congress or anti-congress.. and this yaatra to pacify those who died at that time is based on the greatest political lie, there for all to see but tough to accept and come out in open.. why is every one keeping mum on it, why is it that no channel dares to break it out, why does no opposition leader or even a single person in power dare to come out about it in public.. I really dont understand.. it only shows the sorry state of affairs in the state. Why does no one have guts to spill the beans, why do they still glorify the Odaarpu yaatra????

He has no right to comment on CBN's fast or whatsoever with his 2-day fast high drama and what purpose has it served, my simple mind really does not understand such complicate intricacies of life.. other than a plain feeling that he is just testing waters before he takes a final plunge, just checking out how it is going to be and what support he can get and from what corners, politicizing everything. Drama and more drama and add to it jokers like Roja, Jeevitha-Rajashekar, Lakshmi Parvathi making fun of themselves if nothing.. how can people be so blind.. I predict a future just like or worse than PRP for the new party YS-Congress or whatever it is going to be.

and in one way, how can Congress deny the right of Jagan as a successor to the throne when exactly that is what is happening at the national level, by inheritance he has as much right as Rahul or Sonia have for power, why deny him something that they themselves have set a path of.. and why the hell do they bother to stop that guy when he is doing some drama called Odaarpu and give him unnecessary credibility. It is absolutely hilarious when a politician blames the other of corruption, I remember that saying "sou choohe khaake billi haj ko chali".. phew!!!

I seriously think I should stop thinking about anything.. otherwise I will lose the resolve not to get angry at least until this year ends and end up cursing everyone real bad..

My political take does not really take off anywhere for now.. sigh.. just an observation rather.

Dec 22, 2010

Laali paadutunnadi ee gaali..

One song that actually put me to sleep and a blissful one at that is the one from Jhummandi Naadam.. Thanks Lakshmi and Keeravani for such a wonderful lullaby in the recent times.

Most of the songs I listen to so that I can sing my daughter to sleep, this one is for me it takes me to another world, dont really want to sing it but listen to someone sing it.. awesome rendition by Balu and Geeta Madhuri, just fell in love with it the first time I listened to it... just cant come out of the trance for a long time...

Laali paadutunnadi ee gaali
Aa laali raagalalo nuvvuoyala oogaali.

Laali paadutunnadi ee gali -2- (sweetest hum)

Yelo, Yaalo..yelo yaala… hailessa
Aila pattu ..hailessa
Ballaa kattu.. hailessa
Addira babu--hailessa
Akkada pattu-- hailessa

cheera katti...
sinnaadocchi-- hailessa
Kannu kotte --hailessa

Tannana tannanana
tannananna -- hailessa

Gaali kosala laali aa poola teeveku
Veli kosala laali ee bosi navvuku
Budi budi nadakalaku gomaata laali
Muddu muddu palukulaku chilakamma laali
Unga ungaa sangeetaalaku koyilamma laali --kuooo, kuoo..
Chengu chengu gantulaki chandamamalo daagi unna kundelamma laali…

Naa laali neeku poola pallakee
Alasina kallaki…
Solasina kaallaki

Ememi puvvoppune gowramma

Ememi kaayoppune gowramma

Gummaadi puvvoppune gowramma

gummaadi kaayoppune gowramma -2-

gummadi chetu meeda aata chilakallara

paata chilakallaara.. kaliki chilakallara
kandumma gaddalu.. kalavaari ??(cant make out most of it from here any help appreciated).
mutyaala godugulu -- muripaala nurugulu
rangu rudraakshalu ----??
peru rudraakshalu --?? --ememi--

venna mudda laali chinnari meniki

goru mudda laali bangaaru bommaki

onamaalu palikite palakamma laali

baala siksha chadivite palukulamma laali

dinadinamu edugutunte dinakaruni laali

padugurocchi ninu mecchite kannulaara choose talliki.. kadupu teepi laali

naa laali neeku poolapallaki.. alasina kallaki, solasina kaallaki..



Dec 13, 2010

Swinging Tales

The kid is used to cradle since the time she was born.. she was put in one the moment she was born in the hospital.. then we had an official ceremony in temple on 21st day and from then onwards it is an unbroken bond with the cradle/swing.. she loves swinging in it and goes to sleep only in it.. there have been quite a few of the swings starting from the hospital cradle, then the mobile zipped up cradle placed next to the bed for the fear of crushing her tiny body in my sleep since I was managing the kid all alone 24/7 with aide's help during daytime but could not really sleep well, 2-hour feeding schedules, etc., which helped till she was 3 months old when started tossing around which scared me to death though the cradle could very well handle any such things.  Then came the ancestral traditional wooden swings that had been in the house for 4 generations which lasted until she was 8 months old when she again scared me by sitting up and looking down from the bed.. she refused to sleep with out being swung to sleep which was such a tough task.. night time okay, even daytime sleep onset should be in the swing... sighh...

Then came the plastic Fisherprice infant to toddler swing.. which did well until she turned a year and a half when she became tall for the back support, then came the jute baby jhoola which still serves the purpose and maybe would have for a lot more longer time too but since it is placed outside in the porch and the chill and wind factor, we have to bid adieu to that as well :(((.. now i have transitioned her to a baby cane rocking chair.. for now I rock her to sleep but hopefully she will soon learn to rock herself.

The point of the post is that I have broken her trust several times.. i try to explain her a lot of times that okay let us just take one time off the swing and go to bed reading stories or singing songs.. but she just refuses and points and even cries pointing to that particular swing in question. some times I answer her patiently and indulge in her whims and fancies but ultimately she wants to sleep in the swing even if it is 11 p.m. when the sleep hour is actually 7 to 8 p.m. and some times I just lose my cool and give myself timeouts handing the kid to the mother to put her to sleep in the swing unable to control the anger and not able to show on her either.. so each time there is a change for my convenience it is a story that "pilli ettukellipoyindi"  The cat has taken it away.. earlier it just did not matter because she could not actually correlate it but now it hurts when she innocently walks around the porch at night looking for the swing making sounds amma pilli aaayi poyi :(((.. ayyoooo.. it hurts to be not able to give what she wants at the same time it hurts even more to look at her turning adamant.

I know she is not even 2, she does not really know anything but I do not want that adamant streak in her when it comes to the swing addiction.. swing or cry, cry, cry and cry and no sleep.. tantrums..

However, some times I do curse myself for not choosing the easy way out, reading story books and sleeping.. sleeping in the swing or chair needs me to sit upright and some times an hour to two of swing or rocking takes its toll on my hands...

I dont really know if it is right or wrong.. she has forgotten it a while ago.. it has been a week since I got the rocking chair and now our sleep routine is in the chair with her requesting songs and me singing, she is very happy, cozy and warm indoors.  She has a choice and preference even to the lines and the language of each song... amma laali laali (laali laali antu raagam), amma jo jo (jolajolamma jola), amma jaamu (jaamu raatiri), amma laali (laali paadutunnadi), amma poddu (poddu vaalipoye), amma kabhi (kabhi kabhi).. sigh!!! but it is a good one on one time for us, us alone.. she becomes cranky if the routine is upset.  I love the feeling that she wants me and ME ALONE at the time of sleep but then I dont want her to be dependent on me alone to do that.. whatif I am not there tomorrow?? and what about the detached parenting that I want to do :((..

She has gotten over the jute swing and got used to it.. no pain whatsoever but it hurts me even more when she innocently and happily jumps into the rocker and says amma laaali with a naughty impish grin.....  How I wish I could adopt the same way of looking at life and just quit looking back in life once I am done with

Dec 6, 2010

Raining and ing and ing and ing..

It is raining like hell... and add to it the chill factor.. deadly combo.. it has been 6 full months of rain this year.... I just dont feel like peeping out of the blanket but how long can one actually lie down.. the body aches like hell sleeping curved in one position.. with an active kid running around with a runny nose, coughing and vomiting all that she eats, the bone pain... waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh... high time the rains stop... the crops are ready to harvest and this is really really heartbreaking :(((((((((((((((((((((... god save the poor farmer!!!

I know I am rambling cluelessly and I know am slightly disoriented too... 

Dec 4, 2010

Treasuring Memories

There was a discussion the other day with a few of my friends as to how many words should a kid of 1.5 yrs. be speaking or maybe around 2 years what is the vocabulary developed.. Well, it is varied, like all milestones talking and talking in sentences is a big milestone too.  Some start early, some very late.. but they talk all the same when they do :).. just give them some time and a lot of one to one time to get them to open and speak up rather than panic and run around doctors is my simple advise!!

Coming to the kid, she spoke her first word or I assumed it is at 3 months.. when she started saying ammaa, ammaa... or maybe she was just cooing and that sounded like amma.. but believe me she did,so "amma" is her official first word.. gloated am I and it really does show on me till now :(((..  She has a very very thin tongue and people said that she would speak really early.. "aaku laanti naalika" this is the first thing they say when they see her tongue, which is used to bring out all the time when she was an infant.

For about a fortnight she did that and then actually stopped saying anything and just made some noises and coo sounds, nothing else.. at 6th month, we started focussing on teaching her 2 letter words and when she started, she did like "abba, debba, jabba" she used to parrot it all day long until she perfected it and made sure that everyone in the hearing vicinity knew that she actually said something :).. atta, taata.. it was..

Then it was myaw.. (yes, the cat sound).. gradually, amma, akka, taata, atta, anna.. and a lot of noises..

Now she has quite a big collection down the line.. they say 25 to 30 words is the actual milestone, so touchwood she has met it..

So, some Sreyaisms for you.

She calls me amma once softly, then a little louder and then comes a sound ......aaaniiiii... aaanniammaa

tuvvayi (cow, buffalo, calf)... moooo, bujji meka -meee, meee, Kodi/koli - kukkuroo, konga -- hhuuush
pilli - meoow,kukka - boowwwow, bujji kukka - bowooooo, chika (parrot) - rama rama
kaaka - crow, tonna (tonda), utta (squirrell) puggu (insect), doma (mosquito), eega (housefly), buttafly (butterfly), kappa (frog), tooni (dragon fly)
chanmaama (moon), Suri taata (sun), aana (rain), enda (hot), chaalla (cold), gaali (air)
aaka(aakali),neena(water),tanni(tantaa),kotti (kodata),chapaati,aam,ottaami (plain rice), bebbi (curd), guddu(egg),pappu,koora, kaamu (spicy), yummy yummy
wow!!, Baandi (it is good)
Good job, Good shot, high-five, Good Morning
Indialo putti (born in India)point and name all body parts in Telugu..

phew... I am not yet through a quarter of it.. but one thing about her is she says everything clearly.. she practices under her breath and speaks only when perfect (amazing quality).

Looks like we are past 25, so I am not bothered about anything.

She is not yet into sentences but through the words she is able to express everything clearly.. she points, makes signs, uses words and make things known.. fine for her age... maybe in fact great and I attribute it to the children she plays with all the time, they speak and she speaks with them.. i talk and she talks with me.. i sing and she sings with me... above all, she is a good mimic... 

I am not really bothered if she speaks just Telugu, in fact love it.. when she says okati, nonnu instead 1, 2.. a, aa instead of a,b.. she will learn them all in time in school for now she will know Telugu.. she knows aunt and uncle but in spite of being tongue twisting I make her use the relationship in Telugu rather than aunt or uncle... she does not really say anything big, identifies objects she sees regularly, talks and calls out people she meets, says and thinks about things she watches on TV or on the road that is it, no conscious effort to teach her anything.. she plays and she learns whatever she wants to at her own pace.  Childhood is divine and I want to let it be.. in this open environment with loads of people to spend time with her.. there are some downsides too considering I need to watch out for the language spoken in front of her but still by and large it is a win-win situation.. she speaks so much because she meets so many people and sees so many things by experience rather than by rote....

Touch-wood a kaala tika post after long.. people call her smart.. I call her lucky to be surrounded by people who take pains to teach her and feel happy when she says something.. God bless them all.

Dec 3, 2010

This and That

I have been posting in the telugu blog for a while... leg is super good, walking on it a little but not full-fledged yet...

got my good old computer back, so got to learn how to download mp3 songs for the kid :(((... i still dont know how to do it... never really gave it a second thought now even if I give it full thoughts I am unable to do.. hayyo hayyo...

Kid is hyper these days... they dont call it terrible 2s just like that.. a kid asleep by 7 p.m. is such a bliss I say.. :))..

AP politics... one word that comes to my mind... SECRET PLANNING.

Started exercising a bit.. a teeny tiny bit though... and a little bit of yoga and a little of stationary bike.. phew...

The worst part is I gave up curd....inta tyaagam chesinanduku ollu taggite parledu..

inchi mandaana katte perugu meeda meegadi, venna poosa nanjukuni pacchallu, kumbhaalu kumbhaalu annam, kaachina netito chesina sweetlu... okatenti dairy products anni tintoo evaro cheppina saametagaa milk baby laaga kaadu milk icche gedelaaga tayaarayya... nijjamgaa nijjam idi maatram... naa paata dress, kotta dress meeda pedite.. khacchitamgaa sagam undi... waaaaaaaahhhhh... poduvu kaadu vedalpulo annamaaata.

Nov 26, 2010


While the East celebrates Thanksgiving, the concept of which I absolutely like but the prep for which is so very stressful according to me because to me, festive times are the times where we are pressed to be positive whether we really feel it or not.  When in right spirits, I appreciate each and every moment of life, send up a prayer of thanks for each moment that is uneventful so why the need for a specific day.. amidst the hustle bustle of life, I guess we forget to live, forget to look back for a moment..

there was this point where I heard somewhere which remained in my mind. our life is like a car journey, it runs as long as there is fuel.. there must be breaks and stops, if it is continuously on the run, it will eventually stop never to start again.. we need to take that break for refuelling at least.. even that way, it will only increase the wear and tear.. true, very true..

We need to take it a little lighter and let ourselves go on one particular day, allocate an importance to it on that particular day and focus on it.. good enough logic for me to set some traditions.

Coming to that, what are the traditions I want to set for us collectively, me and the little one.. Hindu, Islamic or Christian, I guess something separated from religion, caste and creed.. some things with some meanings attached to them rather than cultural culture with a tinge of religion.. diwali the festival of lights.. that is it, not a Hindu festival.. Thanks giving.. a little ritual where we thank the ones in our life who have made it better not something specific to Christianity, Ramzaan a festival to share our excess with the less privileged and Langar is not about free food but about the oneness and humility.. some good in each and every belief.

So, this day we are both collectively thankful for our friends who keep us in their prayers, who have a smile when they see us, a word of encouragement along the way or just silence as we try to spread our roots and thanks the one up above for the freedom to be able to rebuild, together.. a new world, a new ray of hope!!!

Thank you mom for being there and trying to actually be THERE :).  I know it is really tough for you, being blamed for my stubborn stand, torn between what you want to me do and what I actually do.  I truly appreciate though I break down time to time but if you have noticed those are few and far between.. I am positive we will get there soon :).  Thank you kiddo for being that pillar of support..

..... AND...

Thank you Little One for whatever you are... cheerful, positive and passionate.

Nov 25, 2010

Noise pollution :)

If you happen to be passing by our household and listen to some strange noises.. err voices then dont be worried..

Pilla Puski
Pilla pichuku
bulli buchuku
Bulli Buski
teow meow
tring ding
chitti chacchin
chitti jaangri
mamma's Jalebee
Ras malai.
Chitti koona
trik piki mik
lik piki mik
dummy fellow
ling ming
tricki micki
bulli kaav
bujji meka
chikki pukka
chiyaa baby

 hehehe... nenu emi kshudra vidyalu nerchukuni mantraalu chadavatledu.. be assured!!! ivanni pandugaadini nenu piliche perlu.. inka chaala unnaay.. adda diddamgaa notikocchinattu elanti sound chesina.. papam pandugaadu vini vini.. vinta vichitra soundskannitiki parugettukuni vacchi enti antaadu.. ledante akkadinchne aaa ani oka arupu arustaadu... first thing, ilaa vaadu veedu ani pilavadam valla almost all of us forgot that she is a girl baby.. no one refers to her as she, it is always pandu gaadu, vaadu..

Sreya is her name.. but she calls herself chiya,  siya, cheya... we ask her gunnu evaru.. siya, pandu evaru siya, tillu millu evaru siya... so indugaladandu ledu ane samasye lekundaa, anni tane ayi pilavagaane palukutundi... chichkoo alias chitti koona is her official pet name (if there can be something like that).

when we play, we are usually horsing around and roughhousing each other... calling each other names.. to her I am amma, mamma, meema (mummy reverse), aaani, aaniaam, aani amma, akka... and like they say genes are at play big time and she has this habbit of reversing the names like baby is beeba, mommy is meema, naagu is gugaa... she picks a name for the person and it sticks for a while until she finds a new one.... hehehehehehehaaaa (the evil devil grin) after she has taken after me in one way.. even if it is a little weird... mamma beti khush khush khush..

Nov 24, 2010

Dil Ka Bhawar Kare Pukaar...

Happened to watch Saptagiri channel today while channel surfing.. i guess there was some national program telecasting and there were these wonderful gems of songs..

Dilka Bhanwar..

Koi Jab Tumhaara Hruday Tod de

Dil Cheez Kya Hai

Dil Ka Haal Sune Dilwaala

The wonderful songs that took me to another era altogether.. the days of Chitrahaar, the beautiful Wednesday evenings we used to wait to listen to the Hindi songs.. 6 or 7 of them.. and savor those precious moments.

The kid did not like the top 3 songs or let me put it this way.. she did not get up from playing with her dough toys.. but stood up dancing and jumping for the last one... yay!! dappu dance rules in our house, no matter what language, what visuals.. nothing matters.. just the dappu :)).

Life seems to be returning to limping back to normalcy...errrr... what is new.. I always limp.. Believe me limping and walking is way way better than bedrest elevating the leg... can just do anything to never get to that stage.  Imagine, me and Ramdev Baba yoga.. no way I would have done it had it not been for the bed-rest scare.  Like I say, I am one of those kick-start people and definitely not the self-start types.  Hoping that I would continue doing the routine.. if only for a little time but it does hell a lot of good to me.. breathing in early morning fresh village air.. crisp and clean... with sacred chants from temple in the background, pranayam and simple yoga followed by just listening to the chirping birds and a tiny little kid trying to imitate what I do as soon as she wakes up :).

Spoke to a dear friend after long and felt good, though it was really short because of my cough.. the good news is now I speak really very less and actually like it.. thanks to the cough and wheezing, my talking has gone down.. good for the kid ;).

Went to library, checked out all the magazines there, did a lot of catching up with the golden oldies there.. it was a little painful but minus the rains and the dirt and mud slowly drying up and a lot of pious events going on due to the Kartheeka maasam it was good, air was festive, mood was happy, weather was pleasant.. what best way to go for an outing.

Nov 19, 2010

Heavy Issues..

The single most powerful thing you can do to make
parenthood (all of life, actually) into a joyful
journey is to decide that *feeling good* is your
top priority.  It's more important than being right, paying the
bills, saving the world, and even being a good

So very true...  I so love this mailing group!!!  I love the way the kid welcomes me home each time I go out.... SHE MAKES ME FEEL WANTED...!!!

Today is supposed to be the RC 2 release, has anyone checked it out.. I have not realized but today also is the day when there was that bomb blast near Ramanaidu Studio for Sree Ramulayya Shooting.. my first encounter with the worst form of humanity.. I still remember the victims covered in blood and requesting for water while the press was busy shooting the events and not attending to the minimum requirements. Something etched in my memory for I guess as long as I live.

Been to the doctor and the great news for now is I am out of the bedrest aspect and the bad news is that it is not a single bone that is fractured, a hairline fracture involving multiple bones which are better left alone to heal on their own than plaster cast and yay!! no bed rest because I have this real bad tendency to put on weight.. the immediate goal is to shed those extra kilos.. not one.. not two...

Phew... around 16 kilos and this is the first time I have seen myself in the obese category.. from being an underweight to an obese female.. it was quite a journey, all in a span of a couple of years.. underweight to healthy weight to obesity... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :((((((.... dolli dolli porli porli edustunna... edolendi aa maatram buildup ivvaali kadaa ... aa maatram activity unnaa kooda ilaa parvatam laaga ollu peragademo :(((... eppatiki taggeno, elaa taggeno... waaaaaa :((((((...

Doctor says... "there are tablets these days such that even if you eat oily stuff, oil wont get absorbed into the body, shall I prescribe them???"

Me -- "?????????"  (mandulesukuni esukuni vacchina vantiki malli mandulato controlaa... naheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen.. (imagine hema style) :((((...

Doctor - You cant carry around so much of weight on that leg of yours, you need to have a surgery on top of it.

Me - What do I do..

Doctor - Shed it..

Me - but how?

Doctor - Dont walk, you cant exert your leg... you can do yoga where the leg is not exerted.. and yeah of course you can swim.

Me -- Okay, will try... (yeah.. great I can swim.. only if there is any water remaining in the pool after I take a plunge in it (((()

Doctor - No try, wye business.. You Lose means YOU LOSE..

Me - Okay..

So I roll all my 70 kilos (aaaaaawwwwwwwwwww) with great difficulty on single leg and come out and have a pastry and puff with a Thumsup because I am depressed you see and need to really think about ways to reduce my weight!!!!!

One great news is that I can donate blood this year as planned... yay!!!!!!!! 

Nov 15, 2010

Tup.. Tapaak..

That was probably the sound made by my bone when it got fractured a week ago :(((...

Stepped on a frog and got an ankle fracture while trying to break the fall.. the fall was not nasty but the fracture is.. 4 weeks of bedrest :(((((((... I am dreading to even think of my wt. after I remove the cast... :((((((

Radha, the reason for no posts is wedding in the family, an ankle fracture and...................... ippudu kalla kalakalu (conjunctivitis).... moolige nakka meeda taatikaaya padatam ante ide ide ide...

nenu khanda khandaalugaa khandistunnaa...

Nov 8, 2010

Daily Groove

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
      The PATH Program helps you rewrite
      YOUR parenting story!  Join today...

:: The Power of Story (Part 1) ::

Children love stories for their power to evoke
creation:  Stories told with conviction inspire
imaginary worlds that feel real and shape one's
sense of truth.

Anytime you talk *about* anything, you are in essence
telling a story that "in-forms" your world...

 * You tell a story when someone asks you,
    "How've you been?"

 * You tell a story whenever you chat with
    your friends about how difficult or easy
    it is to parent your child.

 * You tell yourself stories when you recall
    good or bad memories, worry about tomorrow,
    anticipate fun, etc.

Whatever story or theme you repeat most often becomes
the story of your life. That means you can change your
life by changing your story!

Today, pay attention to what you say -- to your child,
yourself, and others -- and ask yourself, "If this
were a story, what kind of story would it be?
How do I feel when I tell this story?"

This is a mail group that I have registered myself in through enjoyparenting.. I really love those short sweet mails that I receive in my mail box once in a while...

Chandu, Keerthi, Radha.. you might want to get them.. check out!!!

Nov 6, 2010


I really love this place and the parents who go for this organization to light up their lives.  It is tedious, time consuming but it very safe both for parents and the kids involved, everything checked and cross verified.

I had a good friend of mine, who did bring in the light of their lives, Michlu, home through SuDatta.

When I was exploring various possibilities of adoption due to some forced circumstances, she had given me a link to this organization and forwarded some really great stuff about parenting. I am really amazed and awestruck at all this.

I say and want to do a lot of things but it pricks my conscience really bad when I see people implementing it without much ado about it.  They dont really claim like me (even to myself), they do it.

I love Sushmita for what she has done and there is this severe longing to do this favor to myself one fine day, the blessing of yet another child who me and the LO would together bring with us and nurture with a whole lot of care and love.

For those who are interested in any such possibilities, this is where you go.

Nov 3, 2010


Awesome video.. we know it well that we are not the only ones but we do need that jolt to accept it and get to terms with it.

Nov 1, 2010

Vote For Narayanan Krishnan

  Got this mail from Sandhya today...

I have not really taken note of this one circulating around which is my bad.. thanks Sandhya for the reminder.  I am really impressed with his contribution and giving back to the society.  In this time and age when one is forced to see nothing beyond oneself, it is really refreshing to see some one like this.

Please do vote for him and help him help the needy and let us be the ones to make that difference if have not done already so.

In Sandhya's Words

Sree, unrelated to this post. I was not sure how to email you.
Please see the link below:

You can see one photo of Narayanan Krishnan. Please read about him here:

Can you please post this on your blog so that more and more people vote for Mr Krishnan? If we wins the CNN award, he will get lot of money that will be used to feed the homeless. I felt we should contribute in our own way, by asking more people to vote. The voting is open until Nov 18th.

Oct 31, 2010

Blog-a-thon Finale!!!

The NaBloWriMo starting exactly a month ago has come to an end..

YAYyyy (picture me jumping around) I DID IT!! Did not miss even a day considering this was the most hectic month both personally and work-wise, it is indeed an achievement.  Thank you Rads!!!  Got very much involved in it so much so that I did not realize it has come to an end until I saw Chandu's post :))).

It was fun.  It kept me on toes.  I thought I would get bored and may give up and kept a backup topic list to blog on just in case I run out of anything to ramble but am really glad I never once looked into it.  This was one task that I looked forward to every day.  I need to push myself to work but this was easy, I had to finish work to post in the blog so work and blog both got done on time :).  I picked it from Rads, who could not finish it this year and had wanted a few of my friends to do it.  Chandu took it up and am glad that he did 'cos I got to have so much fun reading during this time period and on top of it, he was the only one doing NaBloWriMo in Telugu.. so a big YAY!!! for him as well.. it only goes to prove that we are truly global and leave a mark every where we go.

Blogging to me like I always say is therapeutic.  It has been a good experience, getting to know a lot of people through the blog.. interestingly I had a lot of followers and comments added up in this particular month and thank you so much for all the encouragement and concern.

**My friends I made through blogging like Neelima, Tarini, Kodi's Mom, Sirisha, KK, Dileep who I share personal rapport with and are bloggers.
**A few more like Sunitha and Sandhya (I love their comments more than my posts), Radha, Chandu, Harsha who I know through regular commenting in my blog... each and every one who added themselves up as followers.
**My best buddy Caps, Usha who inspired me to do Life in Pictures, Renuka and Keerthi from TIA.
**A lot more who I know read my blog very regularly and some even without fail but have never dropped in a comment or do so very rarely.

** Last but not the least my extended family Bhavanakka, papadatta, Savitha.. a biiig suprise readership to my posts.

and how can I forget my lovely lovely cutie cutie little monster/angel who lets me have my personal space.

Oct 30, 2010

Swarnakamalam - Sirivennela

This man, believe me, takes you to another world with his lyrics. Music, singers, lyrics, performances.. an awesome blend of it all, a delight to the eyes as well as ears.. Fell in love with it the moment I heard it and the love story continues...

This song in particular, the question and answer session between the two characters, the comparision, the usage of simple words, the analogies.. takes me to another world altogether.. yes, the daughter dances to it, so good for me.. on the loop for today are the songs from this movie.

Ghallu ghallu ghallu mantu merupalle tullu..
Jhallu Jhallu Jhalluna uppongu ningi vollu
nalla mabbu challanee.. challani chiru jallu
pallavinchanee nelaku pacchani paravallu -ghallu-

Velluvocchi saaganee tolakari allarlu -2
ellalannave eragani vegamto vellu --ghallu--

Layake nilayamai nee paadam saagaali -aahahahahaaha-
malayaanilagatilo suma baalaga toogaali -aahaahaahaahaaha--
valalo vodugunaa... viharinche chirugaali
selayetiki natanam… nerpinche guruvedi

tirige kaalaanikee -aaaa aaaaa aaaaa--
Tirige kaalaanikee, teerokatundi
adi nee paathaaniki dorakanu andi
nataraaja swamy jataa jooti loki cherakunte
viruchukupadu sura gangaku viluvemundi.. viluvemundee -ghallu-

Dooke alalaku E taalam vestaaru -aahahaahaha--
kammani kalala paata E raagam antaaru --oohuhuuhuhu--
alalaku andunaa aasinchina aakaasam
kalalaa karagadamaa jeevitaana paramaardham

vaddani aapaleru -aaaa aaaa aaaa--
Vaddani aapaleru urike oohani
haddulu daataraadu aasala vaahini
aduperugani aatalaadu vasantaalu valadante
viri vanamula parimalamula viluvemundi, viluvemundee -ghallu-

Listen to it here.

Mad Ads

Happened to see this Big Babool ad today.. the boy-crow-revenge one :)))... One has to have this bird shower experience to actually feel that ad ;).. ask me!! being from the village and cohabiting with a whole lot of crows and bearing this a lot of times.. I must confess there were times when such a thought came across my mind as well ;).. loved to see it on screen :))).. could not help but grin the whole evening.

Yet another favorite at home is the kit kat ad...

Wherever the kid is, she comes running to the TV once hears the honk honk :))..

According to me ads are one of the most creative and intellectual way of expression.. conveying what we want to in a matter of minutes or seconds and capturing the attention of the viewers is not an easy task.. I must say I love love love ads big time.. and my daughter is no less!! Together, we channel surf for ads rather than channel surf at the time of ads :))...

Oct 29, 2010

News Khichdi

Rajeev Lalita Kala Toranam

Well, what else is remaining to named after in the state.. What has Rajiv done to telugu to change the telugu lalita kala toranam to his name.. heights of sycophancy!!  It is originated by NTR if it comes to that and I wish to keep tradition and fine arts at least away from politics.

Boycotting AP Formation Day

Everyone has a freedom to whatever he wants to but the freedom ends where the other person's nose begins.  If we celebrate formation of a state recognizing efforts a man giving his life to a cause and years later, a group condemns it all.. I do not really want to get into what is right and what is justice, I just dont want my country to be split on dialects as well at this point.  Samaikhyandhra or not, I want peace...

Good times to Konidela Family :)

Well, after about 3 yrs. of constant media intervention/ridicule and boquets and brickbats, the family is in news again, the govt. gives a clean chit to blood bank.. well, I guess the blood bank's functioning was never a dispute, the question was that it is not a charity he does but commercial outfit which enjoys exclusive privileges by the government.. anyways.. it is a good note.

Saw Srija in audio function of Orange and a much slimmed down Chiru.. good, good, good.

Allu Arujun's wedding finally... great if it is true.. good, good, good.. :)))...  May the happy times continue and may Chiru and his fans focus more on their family and movies and do what they do best acting and leave politics to the others :)).

So, that means I am back to reading newspaper.. if not full fledged at least the headlines and watch some news and hence these snippets..

Oct 28, 2010

Being Politically Correct

Extreme of anything is not good.. Everything in moderation is a key to healthy balance in life.  But the sad truth is more than moderates in anything, there are liberals and extremists.  The worst of such happens to be in religion.  A very sensitive topic, a very inflammatory one in fact.  I fear extremities across all the faiths not just isolating Islam..  Across the board I have a problem with terrorism and not radical groups of any particular religion.  I abhor fanatics of any type.  I need to shake myself hard when I hear violence of a magnitude such as 09/11 in US or 26/11 in India but if I were to be asked if I am scared of an average Muslim because the offenders happen to belong to that particular faith, then the answer is an absolute NO.

I personally had this experience when I was walking in a mall, a girl walks down to me and asks me if I were a Muslim 'cos I dressed differently, I still remember that look on the adult accompanying her but then I dont blame them it is their fear making them do, their bias towards a certain group or extreme media hype.

I have intentionally cut myself from the rest of the unpleasant events in the world or maybe a lot of things which do not influence my day to day living, something of interest in recent times is this Juan Williams termination.  People are scared and I do not blame them, a secure nation which knew or anticipated no threat after being that supreme power suddenly was under the grip of terror and that was known to be from a particular religious group.  By and large an average American or a common man would most certainly be scared.  When majority believe it to be true and have that very inbuilt fear, their reactions are but natural and he was echoing their views, some one has to do it.  I happened to hear if not much, a couple of times, his view points and if as a person he were to be a racist as he is made out to be now, he would not have handled the most sensitive situations the nation has been through for so many years.

I personally do not feel he is a racist even now after watching the videos.  I do not necessarily completely endorse his views but I appreciate his guts to not be POLITICALLY CORRECT and give his opinion in spite of losing his job.  I refuse to be politically correct now by condemning what he said was wrong and should not have said that.  In case of 09/11 or terror wars, there happens to be a very very close association of religion to the event, so average population are scared and the hatred is palpable even years after the incident which is what he is trying to say.  He is entitled to his views and he expressed them and that is it.  If I were to believe in something strongly I would no doubt go out with the same conviction and speak it out, just because it is brushed under the carpet, it does not mean that all is well.  Things still happen where I see a queue falls slower if there is a Muslim in the queue at check-ins in airports, things do happen but they are good as long as they are unsaid.  If we were to shout and scream at a man for saying what he feels then we should bring the hell down when a lot of people do what they do.  It is just that they do it under a garb and he chose to do it in open.

The point, however, is that being a responsible person who is looked up to and whose views are respected and held on to, he has maybe overstepped a thin line where he could have restrained himself to the confines of private circles rather making a matter of public debate that it is now.

Oct 27, 2010

Fall, colors, Life...

I have always enjoyed fall colors in the movies, photos sent across by friends and am really loving the fall pics by Usha.

If there is one thing I regret about my stay in US, it is that I could not enjoy the fall in spite of being there for  a while.  I love the spotless scenic beauty of that place.  I would no doubt have loved the place a lot more better had I been financially independent.  Going and staying in a land of opportunities and freedom and independence as a dependent in every which way, not just financially, in my personal opinion, is the only way to kill the love for that place.

When I am surrounded by too much of interference from people I yearn to go back there, away from everyone bringing up daughter away and get her back once she is able to see right from wrong.  I sometimes curse myself at being helpless.  Actually there is no problem from people are hostile it is the so-called hypocritical friendly people taunting at any given time for every little opportunity, killing your time and love of life that are the culprits.

Some times I want to scream out on the face but hold myself knowing fully well the repercussions of it all and just let it go and it is taking its toll on me.. so I decide to scream out aloud at least in my zone, my world.

"Agreed life is tough on you, no denial. If you insist it is because of seeing me like THIS.. firstly I don't know what THIS is, secondly leave me to my fate and I can manage a 1000 times better without having to please the king size ego each and every single moment.  If you miss life in now just looking at me.. what about me going through it all and for God's sake you are not a servant just because you are forced to stay with me.. I am the slave of circumstances, just give me a little breathing space.. I am trying to stay afloat through rough tides and you are not helping by putting an iron hand on my floating head!!!!"

I just wish I can shout it all out aloud but then what is the point.  If one were to understand, I would not be wanting to say this in the first place.. sigh!!

When I think about it all, missing out on looking the fall colors in person is not as bad as missing out on living life...

Oct 26, 2010

People and odd jobs

One thing I really like about being abroad is that there is no other go than do our work ourselves.  No dependence on other people.  No matter what you are and where you work, you are treated equally by one and all.  I mean I cant imagine a barber/hairdresser enjoying equal privileges like me in my village or maybe even in AP unless he is a high-profile person.. yes, people are still looked up or down on depending on what they do.. sighhh!!!

I was brought up with the following that I dont really have to do anything other than eat well, read and do your job.. other menial tasks (well mindset again) will be taken care of by hired help.  Life actually revolves around them here.  Actually it is ingrained so deep into my psyche that I take it for granted.  I get pissed off when people dont turn up for work whereas I myself am not really regular at my work place.. I have my reasons you see.. because I am privileged.. they cant because I pay them.  It is not always that my conscience acts up and reprimands me.. it only peeps out sheepishly some times very rarely like this.  I manage to control my thoughts on this while I crib I can't on many other aspects (hypocrite me).  But then again, no one pays me if I do not work.. no one gives me perks when I demand them, I only get if I deserve them, I am treated with respect because I do not abuse the office system, once I do, I very well know I will be shown the door...

Actually to my credit I try treating people equally.. I call them "meeru" or amma if they are younger to me, always a mark of respect and thanking them for helping me out even when I pay them for getting the tasks done.  When I first came back to India and came in close contact with my relatives.. the first thing they would say to me after staying with me for a day is "you pamper maids rotten.. if you treat them like that they wont listen to any of us, they will start demanding the same".. ekkadunchevaallani akkade unchaali and all that stuff.. I just turned a deaf ear.. now that I knew their value after staying abroad for my short stint, it came to me naturally.

But obviously a majority of them to date have proven to me that I was wrong and the relatives were right.  When I am the only one being different, they think that I am a fool and can be taken for a ride easily.  I understand things and just let them be because they are not a big deal.. but that to them is a sign of helplessness, dependence and cant-do-without-us so they are bearing feeling.. phew!!!!  Majority of them have taken me for a ride, not once but time and again..taking away my faith in people.. maybe it is not the hired help and everyone else but these are the ones I interact with most of the time, so I get back into my old shell.. i am not bossy but I am not all caring, trusting and robinhood types. I still show them respect but make sure I get the work done, no mincing words when coming to it and most importantly no extra money dealings or hanging around longer than their work hours demand... no treating like family members, just as hired help that is it.. It is the case of once bitten twice shy or maybe bitten constantly and shy forever!!

But there is battle inside me questioning about the hypocrite me, the values I set aside and then retract on with certain bitter experiences.. and the biggest question looming large over my head is what I should teach the kid.  The kid already is taught to treat them equals, shower the love, share and care, and she is made to do little chores for them and she does it happily.

I just wish by the time she is old enough to understand the differences in social strata like I do, there is no such thing like that and all are equals... it is dependence of people on each other that forms a society.. it is this interdependence that runs the system smoothly.. if only we can bring in trust and faith and sincerity in both the parties involved, some small fraction of people like me trying to consciously ignore the divide will move along more freely and not think about this like I do now..

When I call some person for a job, he takes the advance and there starts my running after that individual and such things really really piss me off...

Just hope for equality AND WISH I CAN SAY IT FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART... yes, i accept it wasnt from the core all the while otherwise I would not backtrack on it no matter what.

Oct 25, 2010

A cute little forward

 Varuna shared this one in TIA. Never read this one before.

A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs!The farmer replied, There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs - millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy! So the restaurant Owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks.The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, Well... where are all the frogs. The farmer said, I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise! Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you, remember, it's probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also remember that problems always seem bigger in the dark.Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking. Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.

It is for a good friend of mine she has shared this but it is true for so many of us.  When I was going through certain things, it seemed that everyone was opposing me real bad and I am up against the whole world, I still feel so some times but now I know, they can only croak and try to scare me which I wont be, so why lose my cool when I know fully well what I want and how I want to go about.

Some things from the past suddenly zoom forward like monsters out of the blue, it is a battle then.. but a short one.. as the time passes by, the battle becomes shorter and the victories sweeter.

I will do what I want to do, so do it peacefully without any attachment.. I dont need to convince anyone.  If I am convinced I am right JUST GO AHEAD.. there will be half the group all the time opposing whatever I do, no matter what.. they are fixed about that and I am fixed on doing what I intend to... so why everything in between... FOLLOW YOUR HEART, DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY AND NOT HARM OTHERS.. AND YOU ARE GOOD TO GO!!  Keep the mind clutter free.. it helps!!!!!

Oct 24, 2010

Vamsee, Nenu Naa Raatalu

I write so much that it got to my head and I decided to check if I could write something at all.. nothing big, a short story or story-like thing.  I love to read, earlier I just used to focus on books, now I read life and people and believe me it is quite intriguing and a beautiful thing to do.

We fly high when we come to think of our abilities or at least I do, then have this dip in confidence levels for a moment when I realize that it is just not up to mark... hmmm.. one of the aspects in which I should change.

I wanted to write something like Vamsi.. This man to me was an enigma.. came to know him through his movies.  The time I got to know him was not the correct age to understand him I guess.  I mean movies like Sitara, Ladies Tailor or typically his genre of movie making is something which cannot be related to my childhood movie watching habits.  As I grew up.. there was this teasing quality to the posters of his movies like Maharshi, different posters, silhouette image of the director, just a profile picture.. what is he, who is he, young, old.. how does he look like is what I used to feel.. he generated that curiosity in me.  I used to love the songs in his movies, even now.. he has good music sense and he has also sung a couple of songs in his latest movie which I am yet to see, maybe in TV some time.

But there was always this love-hate feeling.. I mean there was this curiosity element as to what this guy will come up with next time but also I hated Krishna Bhagawan, Kondavalasa, and troupe type of cheap and vulgar comedy.  In his movies, the lady is highlighted, she is shown beautifully at the same time in some angles she is prone to some crude jokes as well which did not go down very well with me.  I did not read his famous pasalapudi kadhalu.  He intrigued me but not enough to go about searching info on him and it was the case until he started "Maa Diguva Godaavari Kadhalu" in Swathi weekly the magazine I love to read.  It was when I had time to read them and understand his style of writing.. flow comes easily to him, it is as if he is talking to you and narrating the story, the slang of local people, no big telugu words just plain usage and touching various aspects of human feelings.. initially, lust was the only feeling he seemed to hang on to all the time, everything or everybody he wrote about on in the village series had some or the other physical need angle to it.. First I hated it, why does he see only that.. then gradually I began to understand that it is how village life is all about, money, power, lust are the three basic things that rule the lives of people in it.

When I read his stories or interviews in magazines like Swathi or Navya or anything written by him, I had made an impression about him... The mental picture I had about him is he is an observer, an intense guy, a guy giving loads of philosophical advise without asking for it.. I thought he would be a dominating, strong guy with a mind of his own.

Thanks to Saradagaa Kasepu promos there were his interviews left right and center... err.. a few and got to see him in person and even caught him on Open Heart with RK.  This is yet another time when it was proved to me that being judgmental is just not right.  This man is no where my mental picture.. he is soft, he is child-like, he is lost in his own world.. "bholaatanam" antaaru kada I dont know the english word.. he seemed to be that character personified.  Very plain, very honest, very cute in fact.

So, that is about Vamsee and Me and how my understanding grew observing him and his works... so indirectly I got inspired by him to write and sat about writing.

When I sat to write a lot of things happened, I sat about writing about something about my grandmother or a woman like her and then started building on thoughts.. gradually grandmother faded and a new woman emerged, a new story or nothing related to reality, some character and I was drawn into another world with it rather than dragging the character in my world, it was a good feeling.

I have read so much in the recent past that after I wrote it I felt I was reading a story written by someone already.  I was like.. okay, I read it somewhere.. did I copy it subconsciously from somewhere.. where exactly did I read about it, how come it got replicated here.. so many people have written so much already and I have read so many stories.. did it come out of my own original thought process or did it come as a mix and match of everything.. no idea.. I have not written earlier, nor do I know of anyone who is a writer so I really really dont know..

Like I say, my thoughts are influenced by what i read, see gather and ponder.. so everything seems mixed up... anyone who writes happens to read this do let me know if it is normal!!!

Oct 23, 2010

Rakta Charithra 1 -- My Take

One movie I watched with a lot of expectations, one movie I HAD to watch first day first show but as usual went the next day because of concern about controversy and some untoward events.. so what is the verdict..

As a person, I admire RGV's guts but of late as a movie maker I am just beginning to feel one thing "GANDARAGOLAM"... bratakataaniki savaalaksha maargaalu, evarino uddarinchanu naaku tochinattu teestaanu ani mondigaa cinemaa teestaadu, choosina choodakapoyina, aadinaa aadakapoyinaa teestoone untaadu.. ataniki cinema tiyyadam passion, newslo undadam kooda passione, naaku evaru pattaru annattugaa untoo eppudu newslo untaadu.. siggulekundaa nirbhayamgaa oppukuntaadu malli chesindaanni... okka maata cheppali ante veedadoka type antey.

I happened to watch an interview of his in some channel the other day regarding the Bejawada Rowdy title for the movie where he claimed that he is going to make a movie, he has not told any one who he is making it on, so no point making an issue about it until the time it is made, because I have not taken anyone's name.. AGREED, ACCEPTED, UNDERSTOOD.

In case of RC.. I was confused as to what is fact and what is fiction... basically he showed the root cause guys as good people, one carried away by some vested interests and then people fighting amongst themselves in the name of pride and self-respect and all that stuff.  I have never been to any Seema districts, neither do I have any idea about how life is there, what it means to be staying there.. faction is something which I see in TV or in news, no handson experience.  Heard about Paritala Ravi because a relative of mine worked as a DSP in Anantapur and is close to that guy, so obviously heard only good things.  The time I heard about him, the things I heard about him made me an admirer to him.. you know Robinhood feeling.. saamoohika vivaahaalu, nammina vaariki praanalivvadaalu, gatra gatra... I have heard about him only through people who had soft corner for him, maybe community wise, maybe realestate wise, maybe politics wise.. and like I mentioned I liked the way Sunitha is composed despite everything and in fact loved the way she reacted to the movie making and stuff... So, in a way, I am biased.. I have heard only good about him, never bothered to dig up info on him, just had good feeling and still have.. dont ask me why.. just an impression.

So, I was watching out for it.. now I am confused, I dont know if it is fact or fiction.. nothing seems related, no familiarity, no proper casting, no proper voice over, everything about that movie is a mess according to me.

No doubt the actors in the roles are SUPERB!! but as a Telugu audience watching a movie based on a guy from AP, I would have liked to see people with South Indian features.  The characters are loosely based on the controversial people.. it does justice neither to the characters nor to movie making.. nothing has turned out well.. Vivek is too good and so is Asish Vidhyarthi.. Zarina Wahaab is a brilliant performer and so is Shatrughan Sinha, but to me they are total misfits as characters they are potraying... Telugu jaati gauravam, antoo party pettina leaderni present chesetappudu Telugu raani vaadini, dubbing kooda ado maadirigaa cheppinchadam too much.  Sunitha Ravi relatives, it would have put the hero in a great light because her parents gave her away willingly to him... why should there be a love angle in a serious movie? 

Why is NTR dragged into everything... a new party by a cine hero, the bomb attack, okay... The time line in which Ravi entered politics is way too late after TDP was established, the killings depicted in the movie were during CBN regime, way after the demise of NTR, Ravi had some good contacts with YS and his family to be precise his father in an attempt to keep a check on JC, so the hand party lies are way too obvious..

RGV loses me with his unbearable voice over.. God!!!! Some dubbing artist, some solid voice, some voice with emotions, some strong voice with clarity, anger, enthusiasm would have been good... it was as if some one woke RGV from sleep to finish the dubbing in a hurry.. the voice over killed even the little enthu I had left in me... sighhhhh

Everything is convincing had it been a fiction movie.. if he had maintained a stance that it is based on some imaginary characters, why give them names other than with the intention of raking up a controversy!!  I do not blindly support NTR but total lies is not something I expected from RGV.  We were in the times Ravi was alive, NTR was alive so if not completely we know to an extent and understand it is a mockery of events and nothing remotely real.. but what is he trying to prove.. I fail to understand..

His reaction obviously would be.. watch it if you like, it is my take, my work, my passion.. if you dont like dont talk about it!!

With all this do I wait for RC-2 on Nov 19th... not really sure, maybe yes, maybe no... am still reeling under the impact.

Oct 22, 2010

Bangaaru kondaa.. The Real Gold??

marumalle dandaa... :)) ani nenu Simhalo baalayya gurinchi padatledandoy!!

I am talking about the gold mania prevalent in my community.  I have no idea about anyone else but Kamma to me to a large extent means gold collectors, especially the ones from Krishna Dt.  Gold is no doubt a precious metal, good to look at, good to wear but when I see people loaded in that, it only reminds me of one thing.. gullo ammoru or the image of goddess.  Anything in moderation is good.  I love the stuff, I admire beauty of any form including the exquisitely carved jewelry but what gets on to my nerves is the comparison, that look of oh.. what you are not interested, really?? or is it the case of sour grapes.. and these are not the words spoken behind the back but on the face.. phew!!  I am not against acquiring gold, am not against displaying, am totally pissed off when this display ridicules others!!

My intro to this term gold was not until very late in life or maybe to be precise not until my 10th class or so, not until my cousins and their parents started display in a rather obscene way I should say.  We come from a very low middle class family, not digging deeper into the roots.. by the time mom was born and brought up my grandparents were just about surviving basking in the old glory, refusing to give up old lifestyle but still struggling every bit of the way and mom was never into gold and things.  For her life was all about getting us convent educated, making us hep and see to it that we are not lacking in food, clothing, or education in any which way.. it was her goal of life, means not counted just the end result, the kids should not lack anything and they should progress, her meaning of progress was academically and nothing else.. so coming from there, we always had extremely good clothing, good education, books and nutritious food everything basic.. yet had to be worked really hard for.

In that struggle of self-betterment, we never even visited anyone else, no functions, no get-togethers nothing, it was a different world.. suddenly the inevitable ones started happening, immediate cousin's functions where attendance was an absolute must, since mom never moved, we had to go with grandmom.. it was there I saw the display, made to feel bad for not even having a single chain in my neck "bosi meda," in fact to the point of ridicule.  To me, it was all new.. in that age, I felt bad, got angry on mom, why the hell, why do we need the best of clothes, branded ones, why not some gold, why not those fancy slippers, why these paragon hawai chappal when tiny kids have a lot more fancier ones.. impressions, early impressions which left a mark... those remarks, comments, those stares and looks, the way they changed jewelry with every dress, the way they had all those discussions in front of us.. way too much.

The first thing I did when I got a job was to save money and buy some gold, not too much.. just the basic stuff a chain, a bangle, a ring and a few ear rings.. then the collection grew gradually, nothing absurd just basic requirements so as to not get ridiculed in the society I am forced to move in.. a short necklace, a long necklace, a bracelet, a watch and a few rings that is it and I am done.  I have them all but I hardly put them, there was a time when I loved wearing them or maybe I thought I loved to because of the impression that if I dont wear them, people might think low of me (cant help it, impressions again)... I still remember the day when my grandmother cried because people were making fun of me.. I cried because she did then.. I actually bought gold for her, to show that she need not cry any longer.. I dont really blame her, it was the way she was brought up, it was the way she wanted me to be, it was the way she could not take it any longer... or maybe she could when it came to her and could not when it was me.. dont really know..

It was just one phase.. Now, I dont really care... I am beyond such stuff.. I have them, Gold to me is a source of investment, some thing to help me in time of need, something to sell off or pawn if need be, not a society status symbol.  I have it but I hardly put anything on.. people look at me head to toe and ask me what is wrong, I say I dont really want to.. some think I have lost it, some say it openly, some smile behind me, some bitch, some advise.. but all promptly falls to the deaf ears..

Now, the focus has shifted to the LO, they say okay if not for you, you have a daughter now, start gathering stuff for her, it will be tough to get it once she gets old, you need to keep piling it up for her.. EXCUSE ME, all that is mine is hers and if she really wants it, she needs to earn it for herself.. adorning self with jewels is superficial.. I want her to be the gem in reality, walking gold.. high talk.. let us see how far you succeed!!! well, this is what I get to hear, but I really dont care.  I have enough, but then again how much is enough.. I see people with 200 tolas each of gold and silver and yet buying stuff.. good for them.. but what is good for one need not be good for me or the kid, so PEOPLE KEEP YOUR ADVISES WITH YOU (I am tired of saying this on their faces, yet no use)...

It has such a long time for me to mature, to let go off, 25 yrs. of life wasted with a tiny little crib.. the fault of mom I see now is that she did not really bother to explain what the real gold is for me.. she, in her own world, had no time to put my fears and insecurities to rest and make me see the real world.  When I was cribbing for something I did not have, she could not really take time to tell me what I have and what I could make out of it...

So, my focus now is to bring the gold in the child out and not adorn her with gold... money and ornaments are byproducts of a lifestyle.. they are wants and not needs.. roti, kapda, makaan and in that order.. not just for me but the people around me.. having a heart of gold is what I prefer to having a pot of gold..

It is marriage time in the family and such discussions happen and this post is a result of one such discussion, bringing up pent up feelings.

I accept gold is precious but golden heart is priceless!!!  I value money, now a lot more than earlier but never more than being human.

Oct 21, 2010

kiraana kottu

I have been and maybe am still a victim of attractive marketing ploys.. when the monthly expenses shoot up all of a sudden, I just wonder about the cost of living and get going but these days I am on a major cost cutting spree since I need to plan up for pre-schooling and then schooling of the kid which is screaming out loud EXPENSES.. like I always say chaduvukune rojulu poyayi.. chaduvu koney rojulu vacchesay..

I usually get groceries from More Super Market in Gdw when I go for the doctor's visit for the kid or me.. these days more often it is me since it is only quarterly visits for her now or the vaccination ones.  When on the cost cutting, I just opted for the nearby kiraana shop or local grocery (nonbranded shop).  I usually have a glance in the kitchen and then pick up stuff as I move through the aisles in the store but here I had to make a list and then the shopkeeper keeps everything ready in a bag to be carried home.. no home delivery nothing.. just standby as he packs it and pay and get it back home and store away.. good old way my grandmother and mother used to do.. something which is new to me but it really works.. expenses have gone down tremendously.. in fact half of what I spend monthly.. phew!! I understand now, when I move across the aisles I end up buying stuff I dont really use, most of the groceries are used up but the snacks, new items, steel and plastic stuff or something I never use buy just because of packing or MAYBE will use category.. stocked up in the cupboard only to give away to school kids later on just thrown away due to expiry date.. sigh...

Quality wise, they are on par with the so-called clean packing and price wise there is a discount on MRP of each and everything and the friendly chitchat gives you an idea as to what is happening in the village... like they say "aamke aam gutliyonke daam" :)))..

I dont know how long I will be here in the village but as long as I am here.. Kiraana Kottu Zindaabad!!!

Oct 20, 2010

Chor Machaaye Shor

In our village there happened to be a theft the other day, every one was busy talking about what happened, how it happened and when it did happen..

As usual the aides got in the information passing around.. the items lost were 2 copper buckets and 3 copper pots.  It was not much really if you ask me, they were very old in fact maybe around 40 to 50 yrs. old, placed in the backyard and the lady of the house sleeping when this happened but it was enough to put everyone on their toes and get their lazy act together and make sure they place things in lock and key at night.  The thieves were caught, they were the village hopeless jobless guys out to sell them for some quick money to play cards and buy liquor.  The police were promptly informed and the group put behind bars.

The high drama from the time the theft was discovered to the time the people were kept behind bars is what caught my fancy... the otherwise careless me also got cautious..
**called the labors to cut down the branches of the trees that were leaning down enabling outsiders to get into the compound through them, a task which was long pending.
**Ensured even buckets and tumblers are put in and locked at night.
**Ensured that all the doors and even windows are closed at night.

and I was getting tense as to how to provide more security to the house.. then suddenly I remembered my grandfather whom we used to laugh at for doing such things.  He used to be very cautious even about the door mat saying that okay we can buy a new one no big deal but why be careless about the one existing and waste money on a new one. To me, at that time he was being miserly, wasting his time on trivial things, worrying about useless stuff.. what is it that I am doing now..

I remember this classic event when a neighbors house caught fire... people were running here and there trying to put off the fire whereas my grandfather was busy pouring water on our thatched roof house so that it does not catch fire from the flames next door and began to get valuable stuff out of our house.. at that time, I was like.. what???? why is he not helping the other men put out fire at that neighbor's place?? why??  Now, I know.. the other house is almost burnt down to flames and everybody is focussing on it.. if something were to happen here it would only spread to other houses through ours.. he was just being cautious in his own way, maybe in retrospect I think I would have done something similar.. like getting kid's valuables out first and then get the kid and myself and people to safety and then think about the neighbors..

Time brings about change in thought process.. now I know firsthand!!

Oct 19, 2010

By The Water Cooler

Parul Here has put up a contest to promote her new book.. in fact second book.

I take it up not for the contest but to pass along the information about her book.  Grab it if you can lay hands on it!!!

Contest Rules
* You need to write a post telling a story or an anecdote based in an office. It could be about you, your spouse, kids, neighbour, whoever - it just needs to be based in an office. It can be funny, serious, somewhere in between, but it needs to be based in an office. It can feature a single protagonist or multiple characters, but it...yes, I know, you got it.
* You need to link to this post
* You need to put By The Water Cooler in the title of your post
* You need to leave me a link to your post in the comments section
* If you don't have a blog, leave me your entry in the comments section and it will be counted

PRIZES - Five autographed copies of By The Water Cooler are up for grabs. The five best entries will be decided by the esteemed M so please remember to pick up your grouses with him.

LAST DATE - October 31st, 2010

My anecdote

It was way back in 1999, one of the first days at work, was really very young, was in the first year of my graduation, novice, knew nothing about office or anything outside the house, village, school and intermediate college.

We were still trainees, learning Americanisms and stuff like that in prep for launching medical transcription in the organization.  It was huge for me, posh and everything was new and spotless.. a lot of computers at one place, a furnished lobby for visitors, a library, a water cooler area with hot, cold and normal water facility (it was heaven for me, a change from simple middle class life of a steel water filter and a glass).    Water cooler was without doubt my favorite place in the office, where I would play mixing up cold and hot water or just play with the taps without even bothering if people would laugh at me for such silly games...

A new training division was being built and part of it was still under construction but was inaugurated on the day of Dusshera. which is a festive occasion in the office, just for that day it was opened up for everyone and cleaned up.  The only thing functional at that point was the water cooler which was at the other end of the visitors lobby from where there was a signboard hung saying "Rest Room - Men." and the direction pointer painted next to it. 

I was there with a couple of equally educated ignorant friends like me who did not know rest room meant a "bathroom" wondered out aloud if only men were supposed to take rest at the end of or in the middle of the working day.  If we were to just wonder aloud and leave it, it wont be ME right, after the water games were over, I went ahead and followed the signboard and opened the door to realize it was the loo for men :(((... and just then a few guys seemed to pass that way looking at me suspiciously (or so I felt) and I am sure they must have laughed their lungs out once they realized what I did!!!

It is one of the most embarrassing as well as funny incidents in my life from the times back then where I did not know anything about anything at all.. to me rest room meant what it meant literally a room to take rest.. and bathroom was the only word associated with the loo, no idea even about loo!!!

It seems gross now though.. but I miss the innocence of those days!!!

Oct 18, 2010

Hatsoff Chile

Just about when your trust in humanity begins to wean off certain things happen which resurrect it to an extent.

In my own world, I havent really thought much about the outside world just happened to see Maruti Rao garu's post on it and read everything about it and felt real good about it.. True, a small nation like Chile not giving up and the world coming together to achieve this task, superb!!!

Wheezing real bad... cant really think of anything to do let alone post, so a quickie here for the month!!!.

Just hoping to sleep it off and wake up fresh tomorrow.

Oct 16, 2010

A new beginning.. Alma Mater

I came across a place called Alma Mater where there is a web cast live streaming of Master Mind.. nothing overtly spiritual, nothing overtly training training, some talk which makes you want to listen.. the talk from 6:45 to 9:15 on Sundays..


some excerpts from the discourse.

willing to subject your intelligence by willing to be able to learn from higher intelligence.. subjecting intelligence to training is vital.

certain maturities can be groomed only through experiences of life.. it cannot be born out of listening to speeches, discourses.. it is just that they give us a trigger.

isolating legitimate disturbances and validate the concerning ones and then slowly mature through experience..

no instant transformation, no magic, live the transformation from within you.. for quite some time and not just as long as the impact of the speech remains. and that transformation should be spontaneity.

Law of impermanence should becomes a part of you and there should be acceptance.

A kid's is a love of dependence and as they become secure and more mature, it just lessens and that is when the mothers feel that withdrawal tinge.. just loved the way he made me see the point with plain and simple words..

Accepting the other as the other is love.

Going through definitions of love.. awesome!!

Delivering excellence.. work becomes my reflecting mirror..


An eventful day

Indian family system, the functions, the festivities are really something.  I am not from the time where everything is as it looks.. I mean, if I am told that there exist a time when there were joint families and someone was the head of the family and almost 30 to 40 people lived under the same roof, and all lived happily ever after, then I am like.. it is all trash, the usual Indian hypocrisy.. there was nothing like that ever, that is because I have not witnessed anything close to that in real life.

In this day and age where talking to another person is considered a waste of time, it is getting tougher by the day.  I wonder how my grandparents could have 4 to 5 kids and bring them up when our parents struggled with two and we just think about stopping with one!!!

The point of the post is, the relationships today, not the immediate blood relationships or maybe some times even them are all so hypocritical and superficial, things rarely come from the heart and there is always something or the other to pick a bone with.. jealousy buried in deep layers, conflicts covered with plastic smiles.. on the surface.. all is well, everything is fine, we are a family in this event but the ground work is so tedious.  If it is a task to arrange a function, the task of managing egos is a thousand times tougher one.

I need to keep a tab on my anger, I need to stop people from invading into my personal space and eat into my precious time I need to spend with my daughter, I just need to break free of a few more things before I take a breather.

When I see people doing nasty stuff for property and I listen to it day in and day out, I just feel like shutting them out forever.. It is time to move on in life, a change in place is a MUST for wholesome growth of the kid away from emotional pollution.

Oct 14, 2010


Body Mass Index.. this was a term of concern for me.. well, that was in the past.. now it is one thing that gives me nightmares.  Earlier when I used to trip and fall down which is almost always, it was like get up and get going.. now I get up but to get to go it is such a pain, the muscle cramps and all... what the hell... I need to go down.. I NEED to go down.. I NEED TO GO DOWN....

Tomorrow is an event we all were looking forward to for quite some time, my cousin's engagement.  I so want to do everything for her as I just remember what a bundle of nerves I was, trying to put everything together in every which way.. pheww!!! Some painful memories which I realize should not be stored up but gone through and get it done forever.. when I put something off in anticipation of some problem, it only becomes magnified a 1000 times over and even the shadow scares me to death... CALM, RELAX AND IT IS ALL OVER...

Oct 13, 2010

If a child lives with..

If A Child Lives With. . .
by Dorothy Law Nolte

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

This is one chart which was hung at my doctor's place when I was a kid, I did not understand it fully well back then but I used to search which category I belonged to each time I was in his waiting room which was quite some time back then.. there were no appointments and neither did we know that we could barge in and the doc would see (phew I digress).  I used to try to figure out each time that what I needed till next visit, sounds funny but that was how it was.

Now, yesterday when I was in the bus, I suddenly remembered Dr. Seetaram, his waiting room and above all this quote chart which I so loved.. so come home, google it and store it on the desktop is what I do now.. a little guideline chart for parenting.. what to and what not to do.  IT is easy to put up such charts but very very tough to provide such an environment devoid of our own personal emotions in it all... God has given a blessing called motherhood, if only he could give me something like sainthood to be able to practice it all.. phew!!


Tired, did nothing really physically just drained by emotions and thoughts, people around me, their unwanted influence on me...

IF AND ONLY IF there is a reset button to life..

IF AND ONLY IF incidents stop haunting me..

I am just not able to appreciate new beginnings with open heart... I guess when I think I am healed, I really haven't.  It is only when I am put in those situations do I realize it takes a lot more effort on my part to erase memories forever.

It is just that I don't recognize myself any longer.. the new me.. the masked me.. the defensive me.... the ruthless me.

Oct 11, 2010

Parenting.. Challenging.. phew!!

Came across this cute little video through a friend in FB.  I have seen moms do it and somewhere in the bottom of my heart I see myself doing this too, maybe it is embedded in mamma genes, nagging I mean.  But on a serious note , I would not want to be doing something like that ever.. not at least every day.. each and every word this what I would certainly be telling to the kid at some point but I just pray that I need to do that only once and not every day as the mom in the video says.. seriously, I hated nagging all my life...
DO this.. Do that
DONT do this or that
Look I said so.
When you will ever learn.

and believe me, even though I did not dare to roll my eyes I hated it to the core, I used to curse her under my breath and wish I could put her on mute like the TV at times :).. even after all these days, if not to that extent, it still does continue.  I dont resist it as much as I did and surprisingly I understand her a little.. but at what cost, the strained relation??? Nope, I cant even bear to imagine my daughter thinking that about me.. I just had a mini stroke even at the thought.

It is easy to say that I wont tell my daughter anything, I will raise her without ever hitting her once, screaming at her, I will never do what my parents did to me but in practicality it is a lot more tough, they were humans too with loads of stressors to deal with.. if not the work pressure outside, pressure at home front.  How is it that we actually convey something to children, in a friendly, happy way.. it takes loads and loads and loads AND LOADS of patience to get it straight but once a strong foundation it is there.  I think somewhere down the line, it is trust that is very very important in a parent/child relation.  Trust that the parent has the kid's good interests in mind when telling something and trust on parents part that kids indeed trust you but are just being playful.

Here, I think that the prayer that my mom used to make us do every night before sleeping is implemented

God!! Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and Wisdom to know the difference.. Yes, plain wisdom as to when to let go and when to hang on.. If I scream shout and make a big issue of a simple thing like not putting things back in their appropriate place, I will only invite a lot of resentment and resistance even for very vital issues.. so I think I should learn when that subtle difference to let go when it should be.

I appreciate kids who by the age of LO recite rhymes, point to all the alphabets, week days and stuff like that and kids who are prodigies but it is just that.. appreciate.  I will give the kid the direction and a little push, present her with opportunities but NEVER EVER force her to something because I want my kid to be the BEST.  She is the best when she was born.. she is best now and she will be the best without my living her life for her.  I am just a guide and a mentor with a lot more caution right now as to what to expose her to and what not to and provide her cues as to what she can possible do and it is up to her to pick them up and gain momentum from there on.  I will put in efforts to teach her stuff but not by the method of rote, something she would happily, something she would really really want to do from the bottom of her heart.

I really dont know how far I would be able to accomplish it, but I will most certainly try to.

To me she is not a kid even now.. she is my equal, she knows, she understands, she feels, she cares.. it is good parenting that is vital to a good society, the values we give today.  I should practice and then preach, I should never show tiredness or my hurt and resentment towards anyone in front of her.  She is soaking everything around her in that mind of hers.. the foundation blocks are being laid and cemented every second, so better provide her with the best and the rest she will build on naturally.  Right now, I am a screen to her to filter out harmful vibes for a wholesome growth..

This simple video triggered a never ending thought channel for me... how about you.. pour in your views..

For Evil Eyes on LO