Foreword

There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Mar 19, 2010

@#$%^*&(

Life sucks big time these days and the only respite is the LO's weak smile through her teething and growth pains amidst of our shared infections and milestones...

my ear pain... off and on over the past 2 years with a lot of pain and countless infections finally leads to neurological issues or whatever goddamn it is... first a tear, then vertigo.. right now a differential diagnosis of trigeminal neuralgia and a battery of tests on the prescription pad, I am sick and tired, sick and tired of the pain, sick and tired of the secretions, sick and tired of not being able to work, sick and tired of spending the almost nonexistent money like water for my own damn illness and most importantly sick and tired of having to stay away from my daughter for the fear of infecting her... .. damn the moment I had that pain, damn the time, place, and persons who are the root cause of it. Easy to say.. how can a blow 2 yrs. ago cause this pain now, it is something else.... to hell with whatever is the opinion, to hell with everything concerned to that incident, to hell with everyone associated with that including myself...

intolerable pain kept aside, every rupee that I spend on this damn thing, I feel like it is robbed from my daughter's happiness.. each moment I have to stay away from her running around hospitals and doctors is robbed from mine. I so so hate being sick... if I can just take that ear out and go on with life, how good would it be, just pluck it out and forget it.. if i can manage with one good leg, one good ear is going to be too good too!!!!

Thanks for the concern, thanks for the mails and comments, if you dont see me around much it is because I am advised to be off the system for a while... again, damn damn damn this damn ear :(.. am on now to apply for leave and update the status here.

When I get back around full-fledged it would be only when all is well, not just health wise.. there are a few things which are kept in pause mode in life, I need to put a period for my own sanity and give myself a break rather than holding on to something nonexistent.. So, when i am not around visiting doctors, agents, govt. officials for address proofs, etc., wish you guys good luck for whatever is going on your lives and yes, yes, yes... I need loads and loads of luck and lots of prayers and do wish me that the next post I do is when I find some respite from all these!!!

1 comment:

Sandhya said...

Dear Sree,

Here is praying for your health. May you be blessed with the best of everything in your life.

Regards,
Sandhya

For Evil Eyes on LO