There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Mar 9, 2010

Dear Daughter - 11

Dearest LO:

I never knew that of all things in this universe, I would hate a calender month. Yes, darling I am getting hate to this month of February 'cos it has 2 days less and make you a 11-month-old 2 days earlier. I know it is my madness to hold it against February 'cos when 11 months passed in a ziffy so would those 2 days, but still....

I dont like writing this letter to you as it is a reminder to me that you are officially a 11-month-year old infant. Why is time running so fast, just a blink ago you were not even there in my life and when I open my eyes I see you in front of me, suddenly seeming like a full-blown individual. You have your likes, dislikes, choices and you make sure that you communicate them to everyone around you.

A teeny tiny baby would just closed/opened eyes, pee'd, poop'd, drank milk and slept blissfully now has a whole lot of things to do. You still make me dance around your little finger but your little finger is not too little any more. Isnt it strange, instead of rejoicing your milestones, the mom keeps whining about lost babydom. You now want to stand up on your own, all the waking time is spent practicing it, you want to stand up at any cost. I am happy at the progress made but at the same time, I see you slipping away into exploring this world on your own without any aide. I am not too particular about your clinging on to me all the time but I somehow I feel scared to leave your hand to take those tiny steps on your own. Scared not just about your fall on hard floor now but also in life ahead. But let me brace myself from now on and God, please do give me the courage to let her be.

This past month has been a month of illness, so much of viral illness around.. lick, pluck, suck everything in the vicinity and sneeze, cough, and run temperature has been the life for a while. It almost killed me to see you not eat anything for a while, you suddenly stopped eating or drinking but you were your playful self.. doc said it was a phase and in deed it was, but each second of your food refusal and force feeding left me drained. Your vocabulary is increasing by leaps and bounds and am surprised to note that you do observe people a lot and mimic them. It sometimes leaves me with an open mouth at how accurately you copy people.. you mimic taatee snoring, amma coughing, aunty bathing you, name it and you do it. Am really really really surprised. You have a mind of your own and do things at your own will and not when prompted, good I like that:).

You know what exactly you want, where exactly to stop and how to let the other person handling you know what is on your mind, phew so much of independence. I see so much of me in you that it makes me shudder, hope you are dont get as mad as I do in anger and look before you leap.

I havent really anticipated anything that you do in the first year of your life would leave me so proud of you and myself and leave me beaming all over. You are a very social kid and you are very happy when around people, you dont shy away from the people you see daily. You should have a person that you trust with you to go to anyone happily. If we are around, you are too happy to go to strangers even. If for some reason they try to walk away taking you far from our vision, then you raise a siren so loud that no one dares to do that. We had been to the doctor's office, you were running a fever but seeing other kids crying you just stopped sobbing and set about making them happy, smiling at them, touching them, looking them in their eyes, making funny faces, noises and even sharing your toys.. this to elder children than you, a 10-month-old cheering up 5-something-year olds... well, I am impressed and you can only imagine how bloated I was than my already bloated self, top of the world, extremely happy to see you put in efforts to make others happy, what else can I ask for. I havent even set about teaching you and you already do it, guess you have it in you. JUST be like that.

Then suddenly it dawned on me why you are loved by all, why no one even bothers to hand you over to me when you soil their clothes, why they dont think twice before cleaning you up with their right hand if there is a potty accident, why they dont mind when you lick them all over or stuff their mouth with something that you have been chewing for a long time covered with your drool.. that is because my sweetheart you are an angel who gives them that unconditional love which is really really rare in this material world. As your mom, I take up every bit of it like a thirsty desert traveler in search of an oasis at the brink of death and so do others. God bless!!!!!

I was scared to bring you into this world so full of malice and selfishness but you prove me wrong that not everything is as bad and as a parent it is in my hands to not let you drift along and get into the mechanical life and just retain this charm and pass it on to next generations. Such a big bad world suddenly seems pretty with so many children... how good would it be if they all just retain that kid's unconditional love towards life.

For the first time, I had those tears of a proud parent.. I guess the other parents and the doc were at loss as to why I was getting all too senti.. they consoled me that the kid is happy and playing why are you crying ;) and I did not bother to correct them.

If I am listing out just good things about you, not to worry the not-so-good ones are here too.. you do not like wearing clothes :((((((((((((((... waaaa... dressing you up is a biiiiiiiig task, shameless puppy :(. You lick, pluck, suck, pull, tear everything and the destination of each and every object is your mouth.. yukkky baby. You do not like juices :(((((, you love water but a little change in taste, phurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... gunnai baby, you want to pull off dirt/dust from even the remotest corner... donga pandu baby... but you know what, these are what all the kids do, exploring surroundings and tastes, so over all you are my chitti chichkoo baby.. touchwood.

Be happy, be healthy, take it slow, enjoy each moment of your life, live in the moment like you have been all the while. Spread the same cheer and happiness everywhere you go. Dont ever let that smile of yours fade ever and if it is in your hands, please please dont grow so fast.

Love you loads,
a silly mom with nonstop tears at each of your milestones.


Prati said...

Awesome post! It just took me down memory lane wherein I remember the lovely bonding I share with my mother..believe me having a daughter is the best experience for moms because the relationship will last for a lifetime!!!!!

Sree said...

thanks Prati..

So true, having a daughter is different.. maybe the same for boy child too but some how I am very much fixated with the girl baby.

Satish Bolla said...

akka, i was always mesmerized by these posts of urs. may god bless u n sreya

Sree said...

@Thanks Satish.. She needs a whole lot of them :) and so do I.

mohan said...

I happened to see ur blog when i goggled for some song information.

The way u express ur feelings n emotions in ur writings... just awesome..

"Pothilello Chitti puthhadi bommanu podhugukunna Muddhugumma Amma...
Pondheti Aanandamedho teleyalante Yethhali Thanu Aada Janma.. Brahmaa

ani vinna matalni mee feelings lo chusthunnanu ..

Mi Ammai chala lucky andi.. milanti amma vunnandhuku.. even me 2.. i too had a grt mom.

Jeevithamo lo yentha sepu cheppina vinalanipinche topic amma.. :)
Alanti amma Intha baga chepthuntey vinakunda yela vuntam.. :)

Renuka said...

Sooo expressive. I'm admired beyond the words. God bless Sreya....

For Evil Eyes on LO