There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Mar 2, 2010

Light at the end..

There come certain phases in life where you begin to see a light at the end of the current tunnel and go with hope that it is indeed a way out but to your horror realize it is the light from another train in the opposite direction... with a lot of difficulty one pulls up the strings and they come undone and pull you down falling in front of the legs, it is painful, too damn painful it is.

There have been instances in the past people pointing out my disability. The first time I kept quiet about it, lead to so many things which eventually left me disabled in the true sense. I should have backed out when people showed that as an excuse for somethings important in life. But then there are so many things that should not have happened.

I personally never felt so down, never felt disabled about my leg but for the first time in my life I feel handicapped, disabled second time over. This bloody ear of mine is giving so many problems one after the other and is rendering me incapable of working. Surgery is on hold but the structural damage or whatever Goddamn it is, is making me prone to giddiness, infections, too many antibiotics, too much of medication dependence.. sick and tired.

I don't mind becoming totally deaf in one ear rather than hear half through it with so many infections and get by with one good ear but I just cant take this pain/frustration of not being able to work any longer with the headset on, a luxury of working from home watching the kid coming to an end... BUT I refuse to give up!!! I MUST conquer it and this would be my truest and toughest battle of life. There are other avenues to be explored, training and management, but that needs moving which I will have to do ASAP.

They say when God closes all the doors he leaves at least a window open, I am on the lookout for it and waiting to eventually fly free.


Rajani said...

Never Never Never Never Never Give up Sree!

ఏకాంతపు దిలీప్ said...

Let the hope live through, everything else should follow...

For Evil Eyes on LO