There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Apr 20, 2010

Dear Daughter -- 12

Dearest LO:

The Big One has just passed this month... the huge rush of shifting, health concerns, system troubles, and a whole lot of other complexities left us both strained and drained... but time stops for none.

This month you have oficially given a farewell to infancy and stepped into toddler world... time vanishes I must say. I had no big plans for the big day.. as opposed to the huge hungama people attribute to the first birthday, I just wanted it to be just you, me, bobbymaa and the ones who have seen and carried each and every single day of your life... and moreover kiddo I want you to go grow up as someone whose birthday people around you celebrate, not the immediate family and close friends. Whats the fun in celebrating our lives ourselves, when people do that for you much after we are no longer physically present that is the life led with a purpose. I know this is all high fundaa and you wont understand anything as of now or maybe there is a possibility that you wont understand it ever like the rest of the people around me in the family, who feel that I deprive you of everything by not celebrating and inviting half the town befitting our stature (??????).

I chose for a birthday celebration with just a party in the evening for the school kids that too because all the kids were preparing for skits, songs and dances for your birthday party... phew, the fan following :))).... I did not have the heart to disappoint them and so decided to go for a high funda birthday party with masks, hats, snow, glitters, deco, music, dance, events and everything which a normal the so-called high society party includes but the invitees were the street kids.. did we have a blast... yes, yes, yes.. you had a blast too, being the center of attraction, screaming when they danced, squatting around and sleeping after a while..

I hate the big parties, spending lavishly for spreads for the already rich people who neither know the value of food nor the ocassion.. all they notice is the jewelry, family fueds if any, how the food tasted and what all went wrong... I am pleased, the joy in each and every kid's eyes seeing the toys, their return gifts, masks, whistles, hats, balloons and surprised screams when they were told that everything was theirs to take home, is priceless... I want you to bring joy and happiness and spread cheer in the lives of the people who are a little under-privileged than us. I would say my life has served a purpose if that sense is inculcated in you.

I want you to be the one who gives happiness, spreads cheer and joy whereever you are and my darling you already are even though I must say you are spoiled rotten by all the taatees in the village and all your school buddies.

With you standing with perfect balance and walking around happily in the walker most of your milestones are met... and no need to see, each of them had me crying buckets...and yes!!!!!!! how can I forget to mention this.. finally, FINALLY, a tooth in the bottom row has erupted.. yay!!! just when I was contemplating to order a set of teeth for you ;).. every one says it is good to get tooth as late as possible because the skull is said to be stronger in the ones who have late teething... whatever, I am happy you have one out and I would be happiest if there is a provision like all the 32, err.. 30 teeth just come out of no where without any teething troubles... big dreams!!! the growing up pains must be endured.

On the day of your birthday, exactly a year after the event.. I wake up with a sense of vacuum, I dont feel joy, I dont have the urge to kiss you happy birthday and wake you up, I just look at you with a blankness in my mind and my heart. I dont want you to grow up so soon, yet I want you to grow up, hold my hand and say look momma I am there for you? As usual, you mad momma is her usual contradictory self... and you wake up with that sweetest smile of yours, yawn and say amma and everything just kind of gives way to sheer bliss and happiness and pleasure.. somewhere down the line, I gave up worrying and just started living the moment and this one of those moments to die for.

People say you are beautiful child with very good features physically but I say your beauty lies in the sweet smile of yours that lights up your eyes and lights up the hearts of the reciever. Do not ever fall into the trap of external beauty and retain that inner beauty no matter what. I dont want you to be a silent "I dont know anything" type person, I would rather prefer you to be a violent go-getter that you are as of now. Just retain that zeal and enthusiasm in you and live each and every moment of your life.. you know in celebration of being alive every single second of your life... Beauty is just skin deep, a beautiful heart is what you need to have.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart.. I wish you all the very best in life and this day I pray that you lead a life with purpose, a goal and most importantly be content doing anything. I want you to bring light into many more lives just the way you did in mine but then no pressure I will be just as glad and happy if you just live normally not taking anyone's happiness, understanding, caring, giving girl-next-door. If you cant make anyone happy...fine!!!!! do not make them sad.

God Bless You and all the kids in the world with loads of love, acceptance and basic needs.. Happy Birthday Sweetheart..

Momma Loves You no matter what... it is up to you to be loved by one and all with your own personality.. Good luck!!!!

Mad, Madder, Maddest if that is possible of you,


Sireesha said...

Happy Birthday to you Little One!

I liked the celebration idea - a party with kids.

God bless your baby and all those kids!

Sunita said...

Happy Birthday Sreya :)
Wishing you endless Joy & Love and many many more wonderful birthdays!

Renuka said...

As always...Touching one sree.

A Very Happy Birthday to Sreya....I Wish her loads of happiness all through the life

For Evil Eyes on LO