Foreword

There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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May 7, 2010

A couple of years...

It has been a couple of years since I lost my stronger anchor, my grandfather... 2 years down the line, I am sure I am the person he wanted me to be.  The one who used to cry at the drop of the hat is no longer the same.  I bark and I bite too if need be.  Isnt that how you wanted me to be?

This day, I miss him all the more.  I am thankful to him in ways beyond expressible words, grateful for the shelter he had provided me in spite of not being around, and above all really really happy to have known him.  I want to die the way he did, like a lion, refusing to bow in front of anyone.. working till his last breath.  They say only the virtuous pass away this peacefully.  No matter what he was to everyone else in his life.  The grand old couple have given me their best and I could never give them enough back.

Miss you amma.. miss you taatee... It would have been great to see my daughter and my grandparents play together.  She is unfortunate for having missed you but I will make sure she understands what place you guys held and will always hold in our lives....

Thank you taatee for everything.. I am sad but I am happy, you passed away when you thought all is well... cant ask for more.

Every little tree and plant you have planted in the yard is giving me cool air and sweet fruit and beautiful flowers.  I still remember your words when I used to say "enduku taatee ippudu inta aayasapadi mokkalu pedataavu, nuvvu tintaava enti?"  you just used to smile.. "nuvvu nee pillalu tinte nenu tinnattu kaadantey... "  Yes, taatee me and LO eat those sweet mangoes, chickoo, drumsticks, lemon, gooseberries from the seeds you sowed a while ago and with each bite remember you...

As I look up in the sky in our yard tonight, each branch reminds me of you, the breeze brings back your scent, the wind brings the voices of you and amma talking to me and then  I see a star twinkle, which reminds me of your single tooth.. the sparkle that would light up your face with that single tooth laughter.. and feel as if you are just right there smiling at me...and by the way, taatee my daughter reminds me of you as she has a single tooth too :)..

and yes, I am confused at times deciding which of you have taken birth as my daughter.  I sometimes feel it is amma, the strong and solid voice and the fast walk.. but then when it comes to certain things like not allowing anyone to touch even a single leaf on the tree, there is no mistake it is you.. so for my satisfaction, I conclude that both of you have decided to coexist in her and bring light into my life.... and yes, that doesnt mean she is you both.. she is an individual of her own.. it is just that I search for you guys in her...  In my world and in my language.. "bangaaru talli maa amma but appudappudu naari pandu poonataadu :)).

I know taatee... you would be smiling to yourself and calling me fondly "tungalaay" the very specific name you used to call me... tungalaay misses you taatee... love you loads!!!!!!  Watch out for us oldies from up above the world so high!!!

3 comments:

Renuka said...

Sree...I'm moved beyond words! feel like sitting before you and have a heart to heart talk...

Renuka said...

Sree...I'm moved beyond words! feel like sitting before you and have a heart to heart talk...

ఏకాంతపు దిలీప్ said...

Touching!

For Evil Eyes on LO