Foreword

There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Oct 22, 2010

Bangaaru kondaa.. The Real Gold??

marumalle dandaa... :)) ani nenu Simhalo baalayya gurinchi padatledandoy!!

I am talking about the gold mania prevalent in my community.  I have no idea about anyone else but Kamma to me to a large extent means gold collectors, especially the ones from Krishna Dt.  Gold is no doubt a precious metal, good to look at, good to wear but when I see people loaded in that, it only reminds me of one thing.. gullo ammoru or the image of goddess.  Anything in moderation is good.  I love the stuff, I admire beauty of any form including the exquisitely carved jewelry but what gets on to my nerves is the comparison, that look of oh.. what you are not interested, really?? or is it the case of sour grapes.. and these are not the words spoken behind the back but on the face.. phew!!  I am not against acquiring gold, am not against displaying, am totally pissed off when this display ridicules others!!

My intro to this term gold was not until very late in life or maybe to be precise not until my 10th class or so, not until my cousins and their parents started display in a rather obscene way I should say.  We come from a very low middle class family, not digging deeper into the roots.. by the time mom was born and brought up my grandparents were just about surviving basking in the old glory, refusing to give up old lifestyle but still struggling every bit of the way and mom was never into gold and things.  For her life was all about getting us convent educated, making us hep and see to it that we are not lacking in food, clothing, or education in any which way.. it was her goal of life, means not counted just the end result, the kids should not lack anything and they should progress, her meaning of progress was academically and nothing else.. so coming from there, we always had extremely good clothing, good education, books and nutritious food everything basic.. yet had to be worked really hard for.

In that struggle of self-betterment, we never even visited anyone else, no functions, no get-togethers nothing, it was a different world.. suddenly the inevitable ones started happening, immediate cousin's functions where attendance was an absolute must, since mom never moved, we had to go with grandmom.. it was there I saw the display, made to feel bad for not even having a single chain in my neck "bosi meda," in fact to the point of ridicule.  To me, it was all new.. in that age, I felt bad, got angry on mom, why the hell, why do we need the best of clothes, branded ones, why not some gold, why not those fancy slippers, why these paragon hawai chappal when tiny kids have a lot more fancier ones.. impressions, early impressions which left a mark... those remarks, comments, those stares and looks, the way they changed jewelry with every dress, the way they had all those discussions in front of us.. way too much.

The first thing I did when I got a job was to save money and buy some gold, not too much.. just the basic stuff a chain, a bangle, a ring and a few ear rings.. then the collection grew gradually, nothing absurd just basic requirements so as to not get ridiculed in the society I am forced to move in.. a short necklace, a long necklace, a bracelet, a watch and a few rings that is it and I am done.  I have them all but I hardly put them, there was a time when I loved wearing them or maybe I thought I loved to because of the impression that if I dont wear them, people might think low of me (cant help it, impressions again)... I still remember the day when my grandmother cried because people were making fun of me.. I cried because she did then.. I actually bought gold for her, to show that she need not cry any longer.. I dont really blame her, it was the way she was brought up, it was the way she wanted me to be, it was the way she could not take it any longer... or maybe she could when it came to her and could not when it was me.. dont really know..

It was just one phase.. Now, I dont really care... I am beyond such stuff.. I have them, Gold to me is a source of investment, some thing to help me in time of need, something to sell off or pawn if need be, not a society status symbol.  I have it but I hardly put anything on.. people look at me head to toe and ask me what is wrong, I say I dont really want to.. some think I have lost it, some say it openly, some smile behind me, some bitch, some advise.. but all promptly falls to the deaf ears..

Now, the focus has shifted to the LO, they say okay if not for you, you have a daughter now, start gathering stuff for her, it will be tough to get it once she gets old, you need to keep piling it up for her.. EXCUSE ME, all that is mine is hers and if she really wants it, she needs to earn it for herself.. adorning self with jewels is superficial.. I want her to be the gem in reality, walking gold.. high talk.. let us see how far you succeed!!! well, this is what I get to hear, but I really dont care.  I have enough, but then again how much is enough.. I see people with 200 tolas each of gold and silver and yet buying stuff.. good for them.. but what is good for one need not be good for me or the kid, so PEOPLE KEEP YOUR ADVISES WITH YOU (I am tired of saying this on their faces, yet no use)...

It has such a long time for me to mature, to let go off, 25 yrs. of life wasted with a tiny little crib.. the fault of mom I see now is that she did not really bother to explain what the real gold is for me.. she, in her own world, had no time to put my fears and insecurities to rest and make me see the real world.  When I was cribbing for something I did not have, she could not really take time to tell me what I have and what I could make out of it...

So, my focus now is to bring the gold in the child out and not adorn her with gold... money and ornaments are byproducts of a lifestyle.. they are wants and not needs.. roti, kapda, makaan and in that order.. not just for me but the people around me.. having a heart of gold is what I prefer to having a pot of gold..

It is marriage time in the family and such discussions happen and this post is a result of one such discussion, bringing up pent up feelings.

I accept gold is precious but golden heart is priceless!!!  I value money, now a lot more than earlier but never more than being human.

11 comments:

చందు said...

I agree with you. I never thought of gold as important. Some how my family never gave much importance to Gold. Your conclusion was really good...

HarshaBharath said...

Welll
Gold Prices are really jumping..
After 25 Years i'm sure it will cost 6-10 times(may b even more) more than now.
Think it as an investment..
When ever you get a chance to buy.. Instead of Buying Ornaments..But Bars..
They could really help you in futre
and promised returns..
You know the worlds Money Rate is dependent on the gold stakes they show. So its value don't diminish...

Invest in Gold..

చందు said...

HarshaBharath,
I disagree. Global crisis, losing dollar value and raising oil prices have increased the demand for gold while supplies stayed low. Gold has liquidity, but indians seldom trade gold. They buy and keep to large extent. Gold prices may not go down much, but I don't think they multiply like they did in last few years.
That's my 2 cents. Not that I can predict the market.

HarshaBharath said...

@చందు :
You haven't concluded
Should we buy or Shouldn't we??

Renuka said...

hmm...
i dont know why...but its second time i had to accept with Harsha :)

Whenever you can, try to buy some gold and keep it aside so it will be of use as she grows up. Not for anyone else, but for you & kid.

I can't accept with Harsha for buying bars instead of ornaments, i understand a lot of money goes interms of wastage & making charges..but i take it as a cost for we using them. i prefer to buy ornaments as we can use them now and can change them in future as needed.

and yeah...disgusting these discussions are...i think when sanju was just 2yrs old, my uncle (babai) asked me how much gold did i collect, did not conclude there but asked is it half kg??? i was like wht the hell...she is barely 2yrs old and they know where myself & hubby came from..if not to ridicule what for else is this qs?? just take it out of head what others think...but at times decking kids with whatever available jewellery, be excited of how they look is no harm to me...and as they grow up, we dont know what their choice is..so i make use of my time for now :P

Sandhya said...

Well written, Sree. I too believe that gold is a good investment option...gupta dhanam antaaru kada. But I chuckle to myself when I see people adorned with loads of jewellery. Do you believe that here in Singapore, many Indian visitors come to tourist places like bird park or zoo or beack in kanjivaram sarees or pattu sarees adorned with necklaces and chains? It is another issue that others watch them in amazement. The basic issue is most Indians are crazy about gold, talking about it and more so flaunting it. What do you think?

By the way, it is 'sour grapes' and not 'sore grapes':)

Sree said...

@harsha... konocchu... value surega diminish avvadu but naa caselo unnade konchem appudu investmentki idi sari ainadi avocchu kaakapovacchu.

Sree said...

@chandu... good point.

Sree said...

@ayyo sandhyaaa aa display feelingekada naaku BP teppinchedi... vaallu esukuni tirigite parledu manam esukopote choostaaru kondaru oka choopu... comedy ani kaadu kaani gudlu peeki chetilo pettalanipistundi... I really really hate that mentality.. neekundi nuvvu pettuko tappu ledu, pakkodelagundaalo kooda nuvve chepte.. nenoppukonu ;))))... idi naa gola...

Sree said...

@Renu... if and if i want to invest, it is going to be bars or coins... and I dont really think I will go there yet, not at least now.. at this point, IT IS LIKE NEVER... enough of it for me for a lifetime...

Must say i liked your point paying rent for using it :))))... evaru naaku aa point cheppaledu ippatidaaka.

Sandhya said...

Ya, true. Konta mandiki yevaina ananide nidra pattadu. Comment cheyyadam, avatali vaallu hurt ayyaru ani telisina kuda "ippudu nenu emmannani anta baadha padatam" anadam. Over the years, I have learnt the best way is to ignore. Once they know that their comments do not make any difference to us, they will keep quiet. Ahankaanraniki udaaseenata manchi mandu kada.....

For Evil Eyes on LO