Foreword

There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Oct 27, 2010

Fall, colors, Life...

I have always enjoyed fall colors in the movies, photos sent across by friends and am really loving the fall pics by Usha.

If there is one thing I regret about my stay in US, it is that I could not enjoy the fall in spite of being there for  a while.  I love the spotless scenic beauty of that place.  I would no doubt have loved the place a lot more better had I been financially independent.  Going and staying in a land of opportunities and freedom and independence as a dependent in every which way, not just financially, in my personal opinion, is the only way to kill the love for that place.

When I am surrounded by too much of interference from people I yearn to go back there, away from everyone bringing up daughter away and get her back once she is able to see right from wrong.  I sometimes curse myself at being helpless.  Actually there is no problem from people are hostile it is the so-called hypocritical friendly people taunting at any given time for every little opportunity, killing your time and love of life that are the culprits.

Some times I want to scream out on the face but hold myself knowing fully well the repercussions of it all and just let it go and it is taking its toll on me.. so I decide to scream out aloud at least in my zone, my world.

"Agreed life is tough on you, no denial. If you insist it is because of seeing me like THIS.. firstly I don't know what THIS is, secondly leave me to my fate and I can manage a 1000 times better without having to please the king size ego each and every single moment.  If you miss life in now just looking at me.. what about me going through it all and for God's sake you are not a servant just because you are forced to stay with me.. I am the slave of circumstances, just give me a little breathing space.. I am trying to stay afloat through rough tides and you are not helping by putting an iron hand on my floating head!!!!"

I just wish I can shout it all out aloud but then what is the point.  If one were to understand, I would not be wanting to say this in the first place.. sigh!!

When I think about it all, missing out on looking the fall colors in person is not as bad as missing out on living life...

12 comments:

HarshaBharath said...

Sree garu
Koncham na latest blog ki salahalu emyna ivvaru!!!

Renuka said...

calm down sree...
Its your life and you are living it to give the best to your kid & you are clear about what best is....all remaining things are tiny ones!

Sunita said...

Sree.. lite.. EOD kallu moosukuni padukunappudu aa roju positive things gurthu chesukuni ponde satisfaction only matters.. some iron hands and minds gurinchi pattinchukuni mana life lo prati color ki unna beauty aswadinchatam manestama enti??
On a diff not, Mee antha strong beautiful soul kopam, frustration lo kooda man-mohak colors of falls ni marchipoledu suma.. he he..

Sree said...

@Harsha.. mailbox check chesukova.

Sree said...

@Renu... i know.. thank you... some times it just blows off...

Sree said...

@Sunitha... hahaha.. true, there is something still left in this tough nut.

Sandhya said...

Sree, 'sabki suno, apni karo', ante. Anevallu antune untaaru, you don't have to answer them or even be influenced by what they say. If you feel they do not matter to you, just dont waste time even thinking about them. It is easier said than done, but I have learnt it over years. Believe me, it works.

Sandhya said...

Sree, 'sabki suno, apni karo', ante. Anevallu antune untaaru, you don't have to answer them or even be influenced by what they say. If you feel they do not matter to you, just dont waste time even thinking about them. It is easier said than done, but I have learnt it over years. Believe me, it works.

Sree said...

@Sandhya... true, it does work... but some times.. from all corners gap ivvakundaa ante okkosari chaala kashtam anipistundi..

చందు said...

Just play the song "Let it be" from beatles..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9SgDoypXcI

I like playing this in tough times..

Satish Bolla said...

well said akka. i was discussing just yesterday with my wife abt my days as an unemployed. sucks to be a dependent

Sree said...

@satish... ting tong malli pratyaksham ayyaava.. how is wifey.

For Evil Eyes on LO