There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Oct 11, 2010

Parenting.. Challenging.. phew!!

Came across this cute little video through a friend in FB.  I have seen moms do it and somewhere in the bottom of my heart I see myself doing this too, maybe it is embedded in mamma genes, nagging I mean.  But on a serious note , I would not want to be doing something like that ever.. not at least every day.. each and every word this what I would certainly be telling to the kid at some point but I just pray that I need to do that only once and not every day as the mom in the video says.. seriously, I hated nagging all my life...
DO this.. Do that
DONT do this or that
Look I said so.
When you will ever learn.

and believe me, even though I did not dare to roll my eyes I hated it to the core, I used to curse her under my breath and wish I could put her on mute like the TV at times :).. even after all these days, if not to that extent, it still does continue.  I dont resist it as much as I did and surprisingly I understand her a little.. but at what cost, the strained relation??? Nope, I cant even bear to imagine my daughter thinking that about me.. I just had a mini stroke even at the thought.

It is easy to say that I wont tell my daughter anything, I will raise her without ever hitting her once, screaming at her, I will never do what my parents did to me but in practicality it is a lot more tough, they were humans too with loads of stressors to deal with.. if not the work pressure outside, pressure at home front.  How is it that we actually convey something to children, in a friendly, happy way.. it takes loads and loads and loads AND LOADS of patience to get it straight but once a strong foundation it is there.  I think somewhere down the line, it is trust that is very very important in a parent/child relation.  Trust that the parent has the kid's good interests in mind when telling something and trust on parents part that kids indeed trust you but are just being playful.

Here, I think that the prayer that my mom used to make us do every night before sleeping is implemented

God!! Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and Wisdom to know the difference.. Yes, plain wisdom as to when to let go and when to hang on.. If I scream shout and make a big issue of a simple thing like not putting things back in their appropriate place, I will only invite a lot of resentment and resistance even for very vital issues.. so I think I should learn when that subtle difference to let go when it should be.

I appreciate kids who by the age of LO recite rhymes, point to all the alphabets, week days and stuff like that and kids who are prodigies but it is just that.. appreciate.  I will give the kid the direction and a little push, present her with opportunities but NEVER EVER force her to something because I want my kid to be the BEST.  She is the best when she was born.. she is best now and she will be the best without my living her life for her.  I am just a guide and a mentor with a lot more caution right now as to what to expose her to and what not to and provide her cues as to what she can possible do and it is up to her to pick them up and gain momentum from there on.  I will put in efforts to teach her stuff but not by the method of rote, something she would happily, something she would really really want to do from the bottom of her heart.

I really dont know how far I would be able to accomplish it, but I will most certainly try to.

To me she is not a kid even now.. she is my equal, she knows, she understands, she feels, she cares.. it is good parenting that is vital to a good society, the values we give today.  I should practice and then preach, I should never show tiredness or my hurt and resentment towards anyone in front of her.  She is soaking everything around her in that mind of hers.. the foundation blocks are being laid and cemented every second, so better provide her with the best and the rest she will build on naturally.  Right now, I am a screen to her to filter out harmful vibes for a wholesome growth..

This simple video triggered a never ending thought channel for me... how about you.. pour in your views..


Radha said...

:) the video was nice, it said what we should not say to kids.. we are grown ups and should understand the difference between guiding and nagging.. again what u said is right we need LOADS of patience to come to the zero stage from our all day pressures and explain things to them with a smile without a mark of frustration on our face. and above all kids are very intelligent and they understand without making them understand, provided we give them space to grow up..

HarshaBharath said...

I'm confused

HarshaBharath said...

In my opinion
kids dont learn from what we teach them..
but from the the way we show them how to live...

Koncham confused ga vunna.. Ento naku clear ga vundu...

Ante idhi right idhi wrong ante nerchesukoru.. wrong ni kooda try cheddam anukuntaru...

Sree said...

@Radha - true.

Sree said...

@Harsha.. nijam.. manam vaallani ilaaga penchaali alaaga penchaali anukuntaam kani vaallu elaaga perugutaaru anedi mana controllo undadu..

For Evil Eyes on LO