There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Jan 8, 2011

Summing it up

Look at my archives this is the seventh consecutive year of my blogging :).. great.  I dont usually give up anything I start and if I do never restart so wasnt really sure it could come this long ever.. but it did.  Last year was the all time high in terms of posts.. almost a post every other day if we go by the numbers.. and successfully finishing NaBloWriMo without giving it a miss.. hoping to do it next year as well.. this year, got introduced to the world of Telugu blogging and even started one.. :).  and of course Usha inspired me to do the Life in Pictures which I really enjoy doing.. A 365-day pic-a-day project to begin with..

This past year has been a memorable year of my life above all risen as an individual, got stronger, calmer but health-wise the worst phase ever with something or the other cropping up.. ranging from smallest to the biggest and the worst asthma, never realized breathing could be this painful but as an individual there are a few things that I achieved, I have come a long way from anger at being helpless.  I now realize that so much of pent up anger was actually a reflex of love I used to bear for a person and a cause I believed in and also the fact that you only rise in love and not fall down steeper.. but the anger actually dissipated once the un-reciprocated love died finally when I could prove a point that I was not actually mad with anger as I was projected to be by that person and there was actually a genuine cause for it.  It also made me realize, we should not rely on people even the closest of family who need proofs to believe what you say.. and all the struggle, unnecessary be it, was worth it.. not because I proved a point but because I am allowed to live my life in my own terms without judgment.  This is not the finality, things may move back to square one but my credibility in my own eyes, my reassurance is in firm place, the confidence that I can make my kid understand IF AND IF need be, is there..

I once had a lesson in school where a old peasant was mad at his life and went to a guruji to get his problems solved.. he went on complaining about his life in general and said that it was really tough to live in such a small house with wife, kids, and his parents and things were very miserable.  The master gave a sweet smile and handed him a cat to take home with and asked him to return after a week, the peasant was even more miserable but the master just smiled and sent him back with a dog.  The scene at the home was worse with the cat and dog fighting with each other and sadder still peasant returned to the master.. who again sent him back with a cock.  Each week he thus added one more living being to the household and the farmer got sadder and sadder and eventually when he could take it no longer.. the master asked him to return the cock.. the farmer returned back a bit happy and the next week, the cat, the next week the dog and finally when the house of free of all the additions, the farmer was actually way too happy with his same house and life.

When he profusely thanks the master for bringing happiness to his life, the master smiles and says, it is just the same it was before you came but you never realized it was so much easier back then.. only when you were loaded with additives did you understand the worth of it all..

I dont really remember which class it was.. maybe 3rd or 4th but this story lingered on in my mind.. and now it is crystal clear to me.. the life and all.. in spite of everything, I feel a winner.. when I used to crib and crib about my health and the final straw broke on this first when I broke the good second leg, the pain of injections and all that.. phew.. nightmare, I am happy now that the course of injections is over.. I feel in a lot better shape even though the leg pain is just the same.. it is just a matter of time it will go too.. i have taken a resolution many times but this time it comes from the very core... This past year and the present one define me as a person, so really do not want to change a single bit about it..

Hope you all had an enlightening year like mine :) and wish you the very best ahead.

1 comment:

Sireesha said...

Congrats! And Keep the spirit up!

For Evil Eyes on LO