There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Mar 11, 2011

Being a mother..

There are a lot of things I learn from the kid and from my surroundings day in and day out.. and there are quite a lot of revelations too which arise from simple day to day stuff which we never had time or opportunity to be a part of and then try it out for self and then decide.

Recently, a couple of months ago to be precise there was this contest for kids in TIA, a virtual place close to my heart and like everything else that happens there, it has left a deep impression on me.  For the first time ever, after about 3 yrs. of being a part of it, I took part in it, basically it had something to do with the kids and I HAD to do it..

To me, personally this contest was a revelation in many ways.  When it was announced, I wanted to do this for Sreya, to make a part of this beautiful virtual world that has always been there for me as the support and motivation that I got from some unexpected corners has been and is really amazing.

No offense to any kiddie contest but only fair, bubbly, chubby kids take the cake and that used to bother me a lot, what are we passing on to our kids that looks do matter and color and features are what make you a winner or the top scorer or something like that.  I kind of hated these contests because they allow you only one vote with so many angels.  In such events, kids are just objects moulded by mothers, they get them ready, they take the pictures, they teach stuff, it is like there is nothing really until at least the kid is around 5 yrs. old or more.  It is more a contest for mothers, in my personal opinion.

I had never really thought much about it, like everything else had this fixed opinion that this is something to be banned :).. why the hell should these kids compete for looks or concept or whatever when it is actually the parents who are competing.

But what I learnt is that no matter how much we shield the kids, the world out there is competitive.  If I shield the kid and fight for right to be recognized irrespective of color, skin/hair texture, body type, etc. it is enough... no, it just is not.. comparisons are bound to be there everywhere and there are quite a lot of insensitive people out there who make looks, even of the kids, a big issue.  I am escaping from it all by just ignoring stuff.

This contest has made me look into myself from a different perspective. I cant stand something happening, how will I tackle the emotions if I see the same biased voting, etc. but then as I thought about it things fell into place, I was afraid, afraid of being a loser, afraid of facing those tiny faces who I cant really vote but love with all the heart and a whole lot of other emotions which had nothing to do with the contest per se.. being scared of something and not attempting it or banning it is not the solution.. just go ahead and try it out, leave the result, put in your best efforts... a thing of beauty is joy for everyone and that is how the world outside is... BUT it is the mom's job to ensure the kid gets beauty from within, features are just not in our hands!!!!

I was torn about voting as my kid was in it and I had to vote her as I cannot let her down.. I am HER MOTHER after all, I have to stand by her no matter who else did or did not.. that was my thought process... All through this I was thinking that I was doing the right thing, I was being a good mother, I was being there for her.. you know, that self-appreciating habit of me the super good mother.... the final touch came in the form of another mom, who taught me something else.. the joy of giving..

Her kid was in the contest too and unlike me who taught it the duty to stand by my daughter, she waited for a while until the end of the contest date, checked all the votes and voted for the kid who was voted the least...  winning or losing did not mean anything to me there, it was participation that was the key but there was a whole lot of difference in the perspective.  I liked her approach lot and appreciated it a lot more... that it is a lesson for my life... I could have done the same and explained the reason to the kid for doing so rather than just blindly standing by her because I should not let her down.  Such tiny gestures are the sign of BIGHEARTEDNESS.  To me, she has not let her kid down, she lifted someone else's spirit which is the beauty of it all..

CHAITU.. Yes, this is you and the post is for you :).   I know you will surely be reading this.  It is a long pending post but I had to put it to words, a valuable lesson not just in parenting but about being humane.

PS:  It was secret voting, but the number of votes were visible... we were just talking when she told me in passing.


Rajesh T said...

Good post. It would be really good if all of us follow Chaitu while voting.

I would also suggest two changes to the voting system.

1. Voting should have been secret
2. The names and votes of last ten kids shouldn't have been revealed.

It is because the goal of this competition is to select the cute kid or kids, but not the ugliest kid. So it is better to hide the votes of last 10 kids. If the votes of the last 10 kids are not hidden, moms like Chaitu will sacrifice their vote to equalize the votes of last few kids, eventually the kids of Chaitu like moms will be at loss, which is not fair.

chaitu said...

hey sree
iam overwhelmed with joy for ur appreciation..Thank you!
it is a pleasant surprise to see me in ur post..!hurray!

i opined that the competition is purely for mothers. It was time to bring out our creative skills and showcase our talent on kids .
Actually i voted for a mom who did not get enough credit or appreciation despite of her hardwork.
intially when the polling started i was alo worried at the same time excited about the number of votes my kid would get.But later on i took very sportively and was amazed at all other entrees..Each kid was unique and adorable.
i observed the hardwork,creativity behind it and voted for whom there was least response.thats it!
ok thanku for making me a part of this and u have raised my spirits.. seriously.. thanks dear!

For Evil Eyes on LO