There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Apr 5, 2011

CSAAM - Exploration.. Abuse???

I just could not get this out of my system nor could I tell this to anyone.  It left me in a state of shock which I am yet to come out from.  It takes my everything to come out about it and put it in words in a way that it makes sense to me and to the readers, that is the least to say about its impact.

On one of my numerous trips to Gdw, for system related stuff, I had to drop an address proof for my secondary broadband NetConnect activation.  I had to feed the kid and pat her to her afternoon nap before I go out and by the time I reached the place, as luck would have it the guy had just  gone for lunch considering it was the power-cut time (12 p.m. to 2 p.m.) which left me no option but to wait outside the shop situated in the NTR stadium in the shade for that guy to return after placing him a call on his mobile to trace him out.  It happened then, nearly a month ago.

There were 2 kids aged between maybe 8 to 12 years at the max.  They were real dirty kids with the most disheveled appearance, bodies that have not been washed for days, hair maybe for months... clothes, that barely covered their bodies leaving them semi-naked, maybe never.. they were that bad.  My heart went out for them and I shifted places from one end to another end just to talk to them to see if they had their lunch and talk to them as to where they were from and usually sweet talk to them about hygiene and see if my talking to them would help them at least a bit.

What I ended up seeing and listening to, instead, is something that will be etched in my memory for ever.  From far, I thought the kids were horsing around, roughhousing or monkeying around like the other kids their age but in reality the boy kid was uttering some choicest of abuses, telling her what he is trying to do to her and that he loves her, mounting on her, kissing and biting the girl to which the girl was giggling away and God knows what he was up to because I kind of was paralyzed as realization stuck me.  When I pulled myself together and screamed at the kids to get up and come to me to talk to me, another shocker followed.. the boy kid got up to shout back "is this your place.. go mind your business." By then I had lost all the senses, could not utter a word, just stood there with my feet rooted to the ground and weighing like a ton or so to even lift up and reach them.  Then, the shopkeeper next to the place where the kids were came from lunch and asked me what the problem was and shoo'd the kids away, I can NEVER forget the look of hatred in the kids' eyes before they left the place cursing me and when the people around me asked me as to why I was too shaken and visibly pale and shocked, I had no answer but to cry, sob heavily and feel like a moron doing that.

This was something I could not tell anyone, I kind of felt ashamed to put in words.. why?? I dont really know.

What could I have told the kids if I gathered my senses, could they have understood the consequences of what they were trying to do even if I tell them.  How would I even start talking to them.  What is it that lead to such a situation.  Who was responsible for all this.  How come the kids who had nothing to wear, hardly anything to eat think about anything but food and hunger and for God's sake where is their childhood??  If I call it exploration of things they happen to see maybe day in day out from the place they come from or the places they happen to visit in search of seeking alms.. then what is abuse??  So many questions???  These very thoughts shook my entire being, questioning the morals of the society and a lot more things.

This is also a sort of CSA but how do we tackle it.. where do we begin the change.

It is not a big deal sighting such things in the remote areas, talking about it, doing it in semi public is not as shameful an act in the downtrodden and the economically weaker sections as it is for the middle class and the lower middle class group or putting it this way, the more civilized group.  When I came back to the village for good and see the drunken group, men and women included get undressed on the roads in a state of stupor to be chased away by the villagers, I felt it was all real dirty but then gradually I had come to terms with it that no matter how much we try to preach, they only end up abusing us that it is none of their business and for a woman to go and kind of dare to even look at them is unheard of in the village.  I did not too until the incident mentioned above but NOW I have decided to speak, mildly, properly and wildly and violently if need be immaterial to the fact as to what I would be termed as by my co-villagers who set out rules for the "so-called respected lady's dos and donts" on the need not to expose their primal desire in front of the kids, those kids who know nothing than the basic needs food shelter and clothing who, I now begin to realize, consider Sex as yet another need that has to be satisfied just like the other three.

Here, I am concerned about who is the predator and who is the prey.. it is most definitely a form of abuse and falls under the category of CSA and a problem maybe more specific to uneducated lot.  When our children, who we very well protected, sheltered and cared for become victims of abuse there is no saying about the class of people I am talking about.  Is shooing them away from that spot and shouting at them or beating them black and blue and launching into a verbal assault when we sight them the only thing that can be offered to them?

I have looked at the Suggested Topics in the blog and realize there is so much more.  It is just the beginning, this drive is making people aware of things but the awareness is pertained to the educated, those who can read, those who have net connectivity, those who have time to spare from the busy routine what about those kids???? A million dollar question for me... but then again, one thing at a time, let us tackle it the way we can to begin with and then get into deeper issues.

Now that I am out with it, this post took around 5 hrs to come about, there is still so much of haziness in thought, so much of anger, so much of despair, so much of a feeling that I cannot really put in words.  I realize I need to talk, I realize I need to share, I realize I need to DO SOMETHING and how and what is something that needs a little more time I guess.


Sandhya said...

CSA is something that is always hushed under the carpet, more so in our male-dominated Indian society. Girls are told to keep quiet if they are sexually abused. If she comes out in open, she will be taunted for inviting trouble.

This in a country where Goddesses are worshipped and respected. Yet girl child and women are constantly abused and these matters are hushed up because it results in negative publicity. Now I do not say that boys are not abused. They are, but if I get the facts right, girls are more prone to abuse compared to boys.

In your place, I would have actually walked up to the girl, tell her that what the boy is doing is wrong and send her home or if it is near escort her there. Also tell her that when anyone forces himself upon her she should shout or hit the person with an object to protect herself. Then give a tight slap to the boy who did the obscene act and tell him if he will be handed over to police if he troubles the girl again.

CSA Awareness said...

It is a difficult line to draw... thank you for this thought-provoking post, Sree.

For Evil Eyes on LO