There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Dec 19, 2011

Dhyaanam - The Journey Within - 1

It has been a while, to be precise exactly 41 days today since the Dhyaana workshop of Pyramid Spiritual Societies started in our village Guraza, the final ceremony is today.  I have been meaning to do a journey within article right from the beginning but just could not bring myself to doing it, better late than never, so I begin it today.

Whenever I have been down in dumps throughout my adolescent and adult life, Dhyaana has come to my rescue in one form or the other but I have never really persisted on that and taken it to another level or at least continued it once I was out of the blue.. edo chesaama, tedaa kanipinchindaa, malli daarlo paddaama, sare inka nenu normal.. thank you Dhyaanam... malli naaku edaina gatti debba tagilinaa, ledante evarikaina tagilinaa.. arey nenu cheste bhale undi telusaa, nuvvu kooda cheyyi cheppataaniki tappite eppudu saadhana cheyyaledu.

The past 3 years, which have undoubtedly been the most testing periods of my life, I lost trust on everything and even the best tool I had in my hand, meditation, left me.  I just could not bring myself to do it because of so much pent up anger, mistrust and hopeless feelings.. well to look back and say, maybe the time was not yet ripe.. inkaa naaku anubhavinchaalsina paapa phalitaalu migilipoyi unnaayemo.

Even when I wanted to do it there was no motivation, there was so much of anger on everything and everyone and a question WHY ME.. before anything, a passion to give it back to everyone in my own way, silent, violent or whatever it takes to make the people around me shut up, let me lead my life the way I knew would be better.. just give me some breathing space.  Forget providing support, all I requested, pleaded and begged was to be left alone..  I was under the impression that the whole wide world was out to bash me and mash me little realizing I was doing the worse to myself, abusing my body beyond what it could, the mind beyond everything else which was just hanging on bare threads...

Some times a fleeting realization would dawn in but I found respite in books and internet which most certainly did help but only to a superficial extent, just barely keeping me from falling into an endless abyss. I had been longing for a group to meditate, some place where I can have a break from everything and just pursue the journey to peace, not really looking for solutions, just the strength to breeze through it all.

Through this all, the health took a downward spiral taking me even close quarters to death, which left everything in a limbo for a while.  A few of my friends tried helping me sending the cds of Ramdev baba's meditation, breathing techniques, yoga, exercise and caps even came down to teach me the Isha Kriya but just a day or two and everything is kind of forgotten.  I really wanted to do it with a group, regularly without a break, needed that motivation but in the rural place that I am currently put up, it can only be dreamt of.. a kid to take care of, a household to run, a job to be dealt with, health to be taken care of, it just remained a distant dream... then came the Pyramid thing that was announced, a relative (maama) of mine a senior pyramid guru who was born in this village, organized a workshop with an aim to make AP "Dhyaana Andhra Pradesh".  Good for me, it was a perfect solution to my problem.. and thus began my journey, which kind of changed the course of my life and still continues to, how what and why, the feelings through it all... will follow in the next few posts.

Dec 18, 2011

Rama Rama Rama ane Raaja Mandiram

Saw the movie on big screen finally... a visual delight.. more on the movie in a detailed review... but for now the song that me and kid and the OA unanimously like and the one which played on the entire trip for a lot of times, so that even the kid memorizes the lyrics...

Lovely song...HERE

Movie:  Sree Rama Rajyam

Raama raama.. raama raama.. raama rama ram mara maraama, raama, raama
raama aney raaja mandiram, ghallu ghallumani tirigey raama sundaram.. raaja mandiram, baala raama sundaram.

muddu maatalanta muddu gaari potadanta,
aapaleni allaranta, tepa tepa teeyananta
baala raamudallarante vasishtuniki isthamanta.. -- raama--

baanamuto goda meeda kothi bomma geesthadanta
vajaraputungaramu teesi kaaki paiki visrunanta
silakengili jaampandey kori maree tintadanta
karjuralu draakshalu udathalake pedatadanta
dakkuntunadantaa settu chaatukelli, raallu vestadanta seruvu lona malli..
ammaa naanna antha aa allari mecchukoni, baala raamuni bhaley ani muddulu petaranta --maraama, raama--

paala buvva tinamantey meda paiki parugulanta
pasidi bindeloni panneeru volakapostadanta
sandamaava kaavalani sandekada godavanta
addamlo choopiste sanchi lona daasenanta
sriramudina chinappudu inthe, akasamanthaa allari chesaadanta
ammaa naanna anni maku nuvve kadaa amma...
 eppudu inka haddulu meeram, tappuni manninchamma...--raama, raama--maraamaraama--


Bed of Roses - Daisy Waugh

An interesting fiction light read.  Loved reading it through and through.  There is so much going on in the story, not just a single line, too much to keep one busy reading, yet not confusing.

Story revolves around a very young school mistress who is running away from ghosts of her past in a very restless manner, fears overriding the rationality part, strong yet vulnerable at times.. As part of her move, she joins a school that is about to shutdown.  She brings in a lot of changes and gets respected by her pupils and the parents, how she brings about changes in her life along with the school and too many conflicts resolving at the end.

Read it on the move, in bits and pieces during the trip but enjoyed reading it.

Dec 9, 2011

Thriller - Yandamoori Veerendranath

Like I have mentioned many times before, the foreword and afterward of the book makes the reading experience even better in case of YV.

Through this book, he introduces the concept of absurd writing in Telugu fictional literature.  In the foreword he brings about clarity on the technique of writing which involves drastic dramatization of events showing them in unbelievable proportions thereby showing the subtle feelings, emotions in a larger angle which leave a mark on the viewer/reader.

This book is about a beautiful, young and lonely girl Vidhyadhari who all through her life has been suspecting the concept of love because of her childhood experiences in a dysfunctional family, the mistrust she has on people who proclaim love and her questions and thoughts pondering over the reality/credibility of what people around her do or say.

She comes across a guy Anudeep who claims that he has been loving her for the past 7 yrs, went on to do penace in Vindhya Hills, realized God and came back to win her love not in a most unselfish and true manner.  How the events in their lives take a turn which lead to death of Anudeep.. and whether he actually dies or not is left hanging which is an experimental techinque in Telugu fiction world..

as usual a very interesting read!

Dec 7, 2011

.... and then

the realization dawns that my blog is kind of becoming a review based one rather than my place... but then again, thanks to this asthma all I get to think is illness which I am fed up ranting about and that leaves me with the kid and me which I normally dont go overboard on discussing in the blog in general or any person in specific... leaving it to be just the review corner.. maybe a wake up call... looking back I feel like I am a part of the Evening Hour marathon I did a while ago all over again, which also reminds me that I am yet to get my participation certificates from last year.... sigh!!!!!....

now you know why dont do constructive blogging any longer.. buck up!

The Death of Vishnu - Minal Suri

A story set about in a 3-storied building in mumbai which houses a couple of families Pathaks and Asrani's sharing a common kitchen in the first floor, Jalaals in the second and Mr. Taneja who is a loner widow on the top floor.  Vishnu is an errand-man in the apartment block who is in the final stages of his life, alone and uncared for whom the families take turn to feed and take care of even if it is unwillingly.

The narrative unfolds through the eyes of Vishnu, who sick and left to die looks back on his life, his love affair with Padmini, his role in lives of the apartment dwellers as well as their own life stories weaving it up with a mythological connective and how the death finally arrives.

It is a thought provoking book which beautifully captures the essence of lives of common people, their conflicts, joys, desires and duties!!

Good read.

Nallanchu Tella Cheera - Yandamoori Veerendranath

Pure fiction with a good research and information about saree weaving, wholesale manufacturing and retail sales.

Reading this book reminded me of a movie, although the story line is a bit different there are certain scenes taken from the movie script, so when I was reading the book I was kind of imagining the actors who played those roles in the movie.. Chiru, Madhavi, Bhanupriya :))).  I know I am crazy that way.

The story which starts with a young door-to-door saree salesman with an amazing skill of fashion and beauty tips for women and makes it big with the help of a big wig in the industry and climbs up the ladder with hardwork and honesty suddenly takes a twist with a murder, who did it, why what and how forms the crux of it all..

all in all, an interesting read.

PS:  Thanks for correction Keerthi nene marchipoyaa Bhanupriya anukuntoo Bhanumati kottaa burra!!1

Difficult Daughters - Manju Kapoor

Loved reading this book which is set around the time of partition interweaving the love story of a young Punjabi girl from a traditional family with a married professor from south India, who ultimately marries her as a second wife and how the life takes its twists and turns in the due course.

It is actually the couple's daughter who sets out to find the life and times of her parents right after the death of her mother.  The book tackles in detail the conflicts of opinions of mothers and daughters of 3 generations, the lives during their times how they got sucked into life willingly or unwillingly.  Mixing it up with the events in the partition times and the inner feelings of the protagonist Virmati are explained well..

Lovely read

For Evil Eyes on LO