Foreword

There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Nov 10, 2012

Damarukam.... GRrrrr!

So, I wasted 2 consecutive days for this movie.. wanted to watch it first day first show one last time with the whole gang, mass style before I leave.. but damn those financier issues or whatever.. the kids waited up in queue and at 11:15, they say no show today.. when is the show.. no idea?  any chances of tomorrow.. no idea???

I ring up siri and she says isnt it on screen today.. so quick searching and hunting done Praveen  from nagfans and got the news... so the after flop show, we all return, tired, cursing...

a few more bye-byes.. and all set to leave the village tomorrow... pain???  I dont/cant really feel it... it is basically lack of any sensation as of now... GOT TO SEE!!!

Nov 9, 2012

At peace with self

some serious planning to catch up First Day First Show of Damarukam, my fav Nag movie!!.. goes Phusss... 'cos the release is postponed by a day and we end up going to Angaluru, sang noon arthi heartfully... no matter what I say about my current spiritual status, I still find peace with God, being one in his presence... divine presence just fills the heart with so much of pleasure.

need to take a few more pics as keepsakes and memories... life on a fast track..

Nov 8, 2012

...hmm

It is like I am vomiting posts today... eeks! that was gross but I guess that is how is my mood today... slept today as well.. went to the kid's first school, gave away her dress/shoes and stuff to be given to some kid in need and got a couple of T-shirt with school's logo gifts... took a few snaps as keepsakes and there we say bye to her first official school memories!...

Washed the car for one last time, typical desi style, near a fresh water pond, took up a lot more pics of typical lifestyle..

moving stuff out of the village - done.
got the dresses stitched, trial worn, and ironed... ready!! - done
Official Bye Byes.. Done.
one last check and complete packing from here... yet to do!

Things are getting done faster than anticipated... it is like this moment this and next moment that... 

I slept the whole day.. got tired doing nothing, came back, lazed a bit, now blogging yet again... I am going crazy and the best place to go crazy is my blog like always... Godddddddd!!!



Nov 7, 2012

... and that is me ???..!!

So, if you are not already surprised at so much of background action that had been happening in the past few months, here I go surprising myself as well :).. I finally got hooked on to Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand.

Well, to those of you who know me through the blog or even in person know me that I can read anything and everything including the paper that anything comes wrapped in, for some odd reason I had never been able to read this one.

To begin with, my ignorant self did not even know tat Ayn Rand was a female author, well I am pretty ignorant that way unless the names are obviously gender specific I cannot figure out who is who :( and then when my bro, the English loving, complicated reading mahatma often quoted and said he loved it and then RGV also says it is a great book I tried to pick it up a lot of times and could not go beyond a page or for that matter could not even finish a line or two, I guess the reluctance was due to the size and also the fact that I am really scared of my brother's high-fi choice of reading complicated English stuff that kind of put me off.

When packing off stuff, I chanced up on this book yet again and this time, happily set packing aside and got hooked on to it and really found it engrossing.. am surprising myself quite often lately but this beats everything.. :).. and I have to forcibly tear myself out from it to get me back to task and vow to myself that this is what I want to read after I settle at the other end of the globe and not here..!!

and suddenly after I am done with majority moving stuff, I sit back and think about the recent happenings, it just leaves me wondering is that me????

Virtual to Real

Life these days is mostly around the www or web for a lot of us, more than citizens of a nation, we are kind of netizens and specially me.. to think about it, I got married through that, stayed married through that and I guess got back my life and myself because of that in a nutshell.  I have a life but most of it is related directly or indirectly to people who I interact through the net.  For a while now, I have been interacting and in touch with my net buddies than my real ones thanks to the place that I chose to stay in.

Must give myself credit to me for keeping in touch with all my buddies right through my school and maintaining those healthy contacts and of course them too for just picking up where we left each time we meet up and make the bond stronger.

The first ever virtual buddy who met me was Smiley  and the one I badly wanted to meet and met was Uma, the Lioness in her den with her new cub :), amazing peace and positivity.

I respect my VB (virtual buddies) and take a lot of inputs from them, be there for them as they are for me but the thought of meeting them in person kind of never really stayed for longer and neither did it materialize until one fine morning where I get a call from my cheerful and talented buddy Keeks, that she wants to meet me up at my place.. phew!! surprise a buddy really wants to travel all the way down just to meet me up in this remote place, happy undoubtedly I was but that kind of jolted me out of my inertia and shook me up from my laziness and then starts the spree of meeting buddies whenever possible... all thanks to her.

I have been hanging out in a virtual community, sisterhood that helps in time of need.. so much so that if you want an answer to a query in an instant any time of the day, it is there for you in minutes, authentic, genuine and help offered.  I decided for the big move and there are my buddies there waiting for me though they have not seen me EVER!! trusting me, rooting for me, willing to take me in.. touched.

Kavitha met me at Cap's place and then me with Caps, rounded up all the buddies from the hangout one after the other, P family with their parents, siri, kavya, Harini and then Sowmya all the way from Bangalore.  It was fun, very exciting, some times surprising them, some times surprising ourselves.. but one thing I found was I was comfortable all through, never like, meeting for the first time or meeting outside.. here we were going to their homes, meeting them up and receiving love and friendship with the little ones in tow.. thank you all!!

Then the mega meet, the most awaited and wanted one happened, at the most unexpected place, met Apple and Pandu in Guntur.. now who would have expected that place of all.. a lot of things happened and since we badly wanted to catch up, ended up meeting at OH's relatives' function :).. where there is a will there is a way you see :).

Winding up has been a pain but it had been a little stressful thanks to these mini meets and waiting up for a few more ones lined up...

thank you one and all... cant thank you enough!

Nov 4, 2012

Happy Sad!

Winding up life in village is a lot more tougher than anticipated, I had been bracing myself for it for quite some time but somehow it just does not sink in...!

and being thrown into a place like Hyderabad at its peak traffic hours does not help much either..!  A big move ahead, so much of excitement in life, positive, negative, happy, sad.. never a dull moment.. too much of anticipation, too many good byes... from relaxation to routine... a vital change waiting to happen...

reading books, watching movies, meeting friends, packing stuff, unpacking some, changing some places, some things, some thoughts, leaving behind some people, some memories..

adding new people to life, throwing some out... sad realizations, happy revelations... ups and downs and highs and lows...

last few weeks of life is a mixture of all possible human emotions with a big re-settling challenge ahead..

Hope things are going smooth with you guys!! miss opening up so much of thought process going on in mind but I guess it is best the way it is right now...

good day!

Oct 17, 2012

Break - ing - News!!!

I have been off the blog radar for a while, I mean writing, reading all the favorite blogs every once in a while but just kind of went in a shell... so the official news is I am going to move Finally out of the village to another place which is totally new to the kid.. just hoping things go well.. wish us luck which we need, loads and loads of it..

Sep 18, 2012

Sampoorna Premayanam - Yandamoori Veerendranath

Another fiction by YVN, easy breezy read.. typical masala film style.. a guy spends his life and his life savings to set about taking revenge on a guy who cheated his sister and put him up behind bars framing a story.  After about almost his lifetime wait, he chances upon a guy, Venu, who he wants to use to lure the daughter of the guy who cheated his sis and wants him to cheat her in the exact same way and leave her in the lurch causing him all the pain he had been through and more.

How the tale takes a twist when he realizes in the very end that the guy was actually bringing up his sister's daughter... fully filmy style..

okay read.

Sep 14, 2012

Nirantaram Nee Oohallo

Adharv's second movie that I saw, Tamil movie flavor definitegaa undi. Directors are running behind pyschological disorders to make movies.. this time it is "motivational delusion" or whatever it is. There was a movie of Vadde Naveen and Sangeetha "naa oopiri" along those lines a while ago, mottam kaakapoyinaa alaanti type of movie.. A love story supposed to be a thriller but ends up as a damp squib due to execution. The narrative loses its girp almost immediately after we figure out the problem with the hero. Charu and Latha are one and the same person who enters the life of hero as a good friend during the job, how they become 2 different people in his life and he refuses to accept them as one and the same and what is behind the current condition is what the story is all about. Amala Paul presentation ento varietygaa anipinchindi, oka tone of body ledu throughout the movie, okkosaari baaga dark and dusky, okkosaari normal and okkosaari fair.. Hero is good performance wise..! Konchem confusion as to what is real and what is imagination anipinchindi unless you are keenly observing the story and if you happen to waver for a moment then you will end up confused.. mottam meeda edo alaa alaa alaaa choodocchu tappite.. emi artham kaani movie category.

Sreemannaarayana

Chee batuku...! asalu trendy anukuni aa director portray chesindi actually comedy, ultimately choose vaadiki tragedy...

Titles deggara ninchi modalu.. oka banda make-up loaded oldie egiri dookutoo undagaa "yuva ratna" ani title paddattu akkade tala baaduku chacchipote baagundu anipistundi :).. ainaa dhairyam chesi choosaamu anukondi scenekosaari "Repeaaattuuuu" ani tala baadudu esukovaalsinde.

enchakkaa peddaayana peddannaya, chinnaanna, oka IAS, IPS laanti buddi character  paatralu vesukuntoono, kodukuni train chesukuntoo kaalu meeda kaalu vesukuni koorchokundaa ee gola ento...!

eye ballki kanipiste football aadukuntaa ;).. emotional anipinche comedy dialogues with action.

If you trouble the trouble, trouble troubles you ;).. keka!!  Concept is okay.. but for the extra accessories (heroine mess) it would have been bearable... asalu oorlo inko magaade lenattu itani meeda padi povatam.. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaak!

waiting for some decent story line for him, manchi potential undi kooda ee musali kurraadi rolestoti veerabaadudu eppatiki taggeno ento!




Sep 11, 2012

Cough, cold and fever

With the kid down and me upset I end up watching either a lot of books or movies keeping a watch over her. There is severe fever at night times but in the day the kid seems to be okay, lots of cough and cold.. God, tough to see her barking-like cough... I would happily trade it with her..

Another round up for doctor continues, started her on a new medication, hopefully getting that into the system should help it.  Just want to wait for today evening and if it is the same situation, just want to take her to the clinic to see what best to do...!

So many things, so many changes in the near future.. and it is kind of blanking me down... another giant leap me awaits us and hoping it is for the best.

Oo Kodataara, Ulikki padataara

One of my friends in her review had mentioned that it better be named "chee kodataara.. chiraaku padataara", it might not be as bad but very bad execution anipinchindi. Manoj, I just wonder what this guy does to himself.. if disfiguring himself so badly with bad clothes and worst styling is going to be his signature style of arty/classy movie look... eeks! I better stay away from his movies.. Lakshmi's accented Telugu and look, Manoj's screams, Sonu's underused potential, Balayya's smoke clouds and the story line everything kind of put me off in the movie... another FF to watch it kind of a movie!


Sep 8, 2012

Devudu Chesina Manushulu

I used to love watching Raviteja movies on screen for some time, where has that feel gone and what is this crap that he is churning movie after movie these days!! God!!!! Raviteja okay to bad to worst movie selection chesukuntunnaadu ee madhya.. ee storyni oka saari oka anglelo choodadam dandaga anukunte malli rendo saari inko anglelo choopetti maree saaavagottaadu... deenni theaterlo chooste naalaage paityam pattipotundi :(((.. DVD forward forward chesukuntoo aragantalo aipogodite better anipinchindi. Teesinodiko, chesinodiko, choosinodiko evadiko okadiki picchi unte tappa adi kaaryaroopam daalchakoodani movie :(

Shirdi Sai - Nagarjuna Movie


Hardcore Nagarjuna fan nenu, he is no doubt good but enduko overall movie devotional/spiritual feel raaledu naaku.  Rushed out at times and stretched at times anipinchi.. bio-pic ainaa kooda konchem fantasy add cheyyatam, commercial elements add cheyyadam, endukogaani mottam meeda for me the movie was a downer.

Kamalini get up kaani role kaani, spiritual kante sensualgaa choopinchadam.. Sayaaji Shinde antics.... total  downers!

Prati framelonu my mind went back to Shirdi Sai Mahatmyam, the old movie and edo TV serial choosinattu anipinchindi tappite Annamayya, Ramadaasu feel assalu raaledu...and even when the songs on screen were going on, I could still hear the only songs like.. sai charanam gangaa yamuna sangama samaanam ani, mind was yearning back to look at those characters than the ones in front, maybe I am biased because I could not see the commercial element in Sai Movie....

Chadvu - Kodavantiganti Kutumbarao

First read of this author, found the book interesting and the read gave a feel of a common villager's life in AP pre-independence and around the world war time, along with the political scenario and happenings the story is all about the education of a boy in those times.

How he got into education, the system thereof, along with social circumstances, the depression and what he eventually turned out to be... just loved the feel of write-up.

Sep 6, 2012

Vedaanta??

I guess every single thing in the world would fall into place if one thing from human nature "EGO".. the I, Me, Myself factor..

Whatever be the circumstance, issue, situation, people just think of themselves leaving the core issue behind..!

Sep 4, 2012

Thoughts, Thoughts, Thoughts..

Back after a very long stretch of rituals and kind of masked grieving for the family.  To be honest to myself, my detached-ness to the person or circumstances kind of helped me sail through but I know the pain that eventually settles in and takes a long while to go for the immediate family, the husband, the son and daughter.  The less to no bonding on my part has kind of eliminated the aftermath grieving for me but being there, doing things for the person I hardly interacted with in a while and made up my mind to have nothing to do with be it good or bad is really taxing and stressing and that too without hurting self or hurting the feelings of the people around.

The rituals, customs, traditions surrounding the death of a person, right from the last breath to up to  about a year where one is supposed to perform so many things in the memory of deceased left me thinking.

Poyina manishiki todugaa migili unnavaallu aarthikamgaa, maanasikamgaa, saareerikamgaa naligipovadam... aa kharchu, aa daambikaalu, aa dubaaraa...  I just wish we take as much care in spending the time and making that effort when the person was alive.  Bratikunnappudu tongi choose opika leni prati vaadu poyinaaka ayyo ilaa jarigindaa ani saanubhooti choopistunte baadhanu minchi kopam... poyina manishini gurinchi kaasta manchi cheppalekapoyinaa chedu enduku ani gnanam leni vaallani choosi chiraaku.

Every single thing is again associated with so many issues... manishi poyi okadestunte kaburu cheyyaledu ani okadi chirru burrulu... aa padi rojulu kutumba sabhyulu antaa oka chota cheri aa manishi gurinchi talchukuni cheyyadam maanesi, mallee inko saari veellu kanapadataaro ledo, unnappude anni chakkabettukovaali ane manastatvam :(..

Naaku saayam chesindi ani trupti lekundaa, inkokadiki naakante ekkuva chesindi ani edupu... human relationships kind of amaze me these days... backbiting, anger, frustration.. veetanniti madhyalo nijamaina prema kadupuna puttina biddalaki, kanna talli tandrulaki tappa vere evariki undadu anipinchindi.. :(..

Being in a responsible situation, expected to be decent, dignified handling the stuff, it had been a tough time holding myself up.. and if I dare think there is going to be an easy way out of the grief/pain, there is so much of thinking to do, about the future, the kid me and the OA and a lot more things...

Need a lot of strength and peace...

Kahaani

About a month ago nearly, I happened to watch a Hindi Movie on TV at night.. Those were the days when I was feeling restless for unknown reasons, maybe some instinct related to death in the family...

Back to the storyline, just loved watching the movie.. Vidya was great essaying the role, loved the helpful cop and everything about the movie.. enjoyed a Hindi movie after a loooooooooooooooooooooong time..

Aug 25, 2012

Palu Gaakulu

The saying lokulu palu gaakulu is so apt.  I have been meaning to post this for quite a while, each time I just forget about it after a moment of observation.

Crows.. the place i stay in happen to have a lot of them, too many associations with them in life too, we first learn this story of a clever thirsty crow, the belief that when it caws relatives are going to arrive, when someone dies we wait for our ancestors through them to finish the meal we offer in the rituals.  In towns, I rarely see one but here in villages they are our every day buddies.

Feeding birds is something that I happened to consciously develop after I had been to US, earlier too we did, but not really planned as such.  Every day I make it a point to give feed them something, not in a bowl or anything just throw it away like that, even when not a single crow in sight, the moment I fling something into air, at least 4 to 5 of them would fly down from somewhere, dont know from where they would see it but they would just be there..

and in a moment I realize how true it is, even people would be lurking around looking for an opportunity and once it presents itself, they would just do anything to pounce on it.  Every single moment in life, we are kind of surrounded by people who may not want something bad to happen but not hesitate a moment to get the max out of it.  I used to wonder if it were so in my limited world, the people surrounding me but of late I realize such is the trend everywhere, rapidly diminishing values, so much of politics happening around, lack of humanity, something in front, something in the backdrop.!!

Still so many things happening around me, all in a ziffy.. and not a single moment goes without reminding the person we are here for, MIL, I do not really wish I had been here in her presence though I much rather prefer that than doing all this in her absence for her... emptiness seeping in slowly, gradually and eventually... waiting for all of it to get over, get done with, to fall in normal pattern of life which I actually do not see in the near future, but need to work on it...!

Aug 24, 2012

Dead-ly

It is strange how life of a person impacts us.. our own emotions, theirs and everything coming into play and at work.. and it is stranger how death of that very same person impacts us.

Maa kuru dhana jana yavvana garvam, harathi nimishe kaalam sarvam...

This is what was ringing in the backdrop as I travel to the final rites of OA's mother, a person I had been cross with for a while, I guess I was cross with the whole world for a while.  In just a matter of minutes or hours, everything gets over.. just like that one vanishes into thin air, never to be seen only leaving imprints in mind, fresh for the time being and gradually diminishing.

I guess my experience with death has taken quite a lot of transformation and this one in particular made me feel all the more different.. Up close it was my amma I had seen lying lifeless, every single thing being performed in front of my eyes.. the 10 days passed in a ziffy and then it hit me, the loss coming in waves, high and low.. then it was Taatee, which was altogether a different one 'cos I did not see his bodily departure from this planet, just got the news and understand I no longer can see him.. period!! This time the pain was more than ever, realizing being an orphan or feeling so.. devastation and then recently budda mama.. a different angle and perception about death and related stuff..

Just when I thought I have seen it all and can manage anything, this strikes.. out of the blue, 'cos it was not anticipated.. just 54.. very very disturbing 'cos I was used to see a person so different and then I see just a skeleton and I go into denial, I knew the end was near and it was an eventuality but it did not prepare me enough.. when the end came, it shook me... every single memory painfully vanished, disappeared and the only thing was the duty in front of me, just be there.. for the man who connected us both..

It is different seeing elders performing the rituals for someone, no matter how close and another thing altogether doing them.  I seem to be coping well, do not know if it is just about the 10-day busy period.  If birth of my daughter made me mature in a moment, once again this death changed me even more, in ways inexplicable, now a lot of things left to be decided/suggested by me.. a lot of things I took for granted, I do not want to really bother about, I am in no way related to but i guess I need to... Strange, how people affect us.. all said, RIP.. I know we had a lot of differences but this was the least/last thing I wished for the person.  In a way, I am happy, the way she left.. being wanted, being loved rather than waiting for the demise... but still the naked truth about relationships, the selfishness, the carelessness, the negligence, the helplessness kind of shook me through and through.

I must admit that she is one of the strongest women who just crumbled to so much of pressure from within and outside as well but retained her mark to the end...!

Aug 20, 2012

Swathi Cartoonlu - 2

The continuation of the previous books, with cartoons on movies, heroines, heroes, story lines etc, along with his regular cartoons..

Loved going through them in one place.

Aug 15, 2012

Lose Control

A while ago, around 4 yrs. ago to be precise, I was haunted by a feeling that I was not the person I actually was.. at that point, took some decisions to correct things my way but due to inadvertent plans designed by an unknown almighty life ended up taking a completely different course.  If I was becoming a bitter person back then, the struggle to come out as a person actually has made be a lot more bitter.. sad but true, I now realize that my whole perception towards things/people has changed.

What I imagined the world to be or had seen the world until then was completely different, a total 360-degree turn and for the outspoken, blunt, rebellious me, it is all the more tough.  With my typical Aries rush into the wall heads-on attitude, I got what I want (freedom to be myself) but again down the line, I do not recognize the new me.  Cold-blooded (yes, where has the forgive, forget thing gone?), calculated (I now see everything in terms of how will it impact my peace and my kid's well being and then anything else), cunning (when I realize people are acting smart, I kind of stopped giving it back, follow the same strategy (totally useless/waste of time!!), superficial (when I got to see the real persons behind the masks of close relatives and friends, I kind of stopped believing in them), hyper angry (the morals going down drastically, lying to the face), scared (about the future for the kid here in India) above all care-a-damn attitude (when the very same people who showed me hell or did not let me live one peaceful moment during the entire course of pregnancy and first year of child turn up to say how beautifully and calculatedly things fell into place for me.. it hurts..'cos none of it was planned.  I was not even asking for help, I was just expecting to let me be.. Ironically, in reality the only person who really kind of let me be was the person I was running away from.

Running is not a solution, fighting is not a solution too, I hated fighting with a single person/family or was tired of manipulation and calculation but now I have to do it for every single thing that I want to do, as simple as going out for a while with or without the kid, so many questions.. which I can choose not to answer but then am just plain tired of all of it, I just want my time with myself and the kid and the OA to care for the remaining mess.  Emotionally, a woman is so tuned up from generations to generations that life is with the man, for the man and by the man and worst still is the fact that it is for the most part only the woman who believe and leave no stone unturned to make sure the other women succumb too...!! Upbringing..??!!??  I am not a feminist but I hate it to the core "vaadu magaadu" so much of pent up anger and again something is truly wrong, I leave the man out and target the woman for being so!!!! pcchhhhh

In the midst of all these, I really wonder what I really was, what I ended up being and how do I get to accept myself the way I am rather than resent it for one reason or the other!!!

Peace, calm, acceptance of one self top them all right now.

Swathi Caartoonlu-1, Bapu

A Rushi book house publication, compiled by Vemuri Balaram from Swathi, around 300 cartoons of Bapu in water colors, I guess.  I love his cartoons, a subtle satirical comedy and more than words the picture speaks...

A delight to have them all at one place.. finished 1st, will finish the second today :)

UnFollow'ed... Cord Cut???

Of late, I have realized that my life is more happening along the lines of internet, friendships thereof, live stories therein and even to the point of sharing, caring, firing on the people unknown, unheard of, unseen.. just a plain blind faith and trust that has bonded a lot of us ladies together.

An online community that has been my buddy in the toughest times, the only sane outlet other than the blog.. or must say more than the blog because I found peace and comfort looking at lives of women in various modes of life, very patient, taking care of home, studying/working, kids, maintaining wonderful relationships.. the true women of substance, who when need presents itself, just help, who meet often in real life, who share and care and provide life support... anything that I say about this wonderful place is really really less.. even an effort to put it in words is a waste, made some wonderful friends for life.. Thank you all for every single thing, I am touched with everything and how special you make me feel.

Before, I waver from my decision, I quickly get out of it for which I chose the Independence day.. the day I broke an important bond and got free... for good, certainly 'cos the kid will get my undivided attention, work gets done faster and I get to plan a lot of things from utter chaos that is impending in a short while due to some crucial decisions of life.  One remote corner still wants to take it along with the support system but something strongly says I need to get in touch with reality and real-time friends that I kind of left behind, very very far.... promising to look at it some time later in life, much later, a few more months later, by then the intensity would be a lot more milder and I know I could still survive!!!

Kid is used to having so many people around her, so much of attention and social life and in spite of it all clinginess to me, need to work on a lot of things before I isolate her from the surroundings and take her to an alien place.. firstly, I need to prepare my self and brace for the eventuality.

Once upon a time, I was addicted to FarmVille in FB so much so that I used to get up keeping alarm to harvest crops and this was when the kid was a newborn, I once skipped her 2-hr feeding schedule in the chaos and that day, it just stopped.. priorities!!! Kid and nothing more than that.. FV stopped cold turkey, since then I put my efforts at real life gardening and that too with the kid, green earth for a cute kid that I brought into this world!!.. then a couple of years laters, FB taking too much time, lack of privacy, too much of junk information like who went where with whom, how.. who ate what with which ingredients, whose kid/dog/cat/pet had what milestones and everything else became a lot more important than what my next door neighbor says or does..!!  One fine day, it is gone too.. and one more thing that glues me to the system other than this blog is Orkut and my favorite community in it.. and today, I put an end to it too.  No, I am not getting out of touch with Net or Net-izens, it is just that I am planning to be more involved with the next door citizen and get things in order in life..

I will be here for a while to come... well, I guess as long as I live, 'cos I need something, my place, my space..very own space..

Miss my buddies out there across the globe already, I have some withdrawal symptoms too but I am sure a couple of days, things will fall into place..

Love to one and all... and most importantly love to me :).. Self love.. the love for I, me, myself.. it is better with the clutter less in that IMM zone, however much wonderful people are online, I need to get in touch with things around me NOW....




Yugaantam - Yandamoori Veerendranath

Digging into my YVN collection I chance upon Yugantam which is a very thin book, pulled it out meaning it be a quick and easy breezy read.

A fiction based on a feeling what if world comes to an end suddenly and people get to know that the world is going to be destroyed by a star that by chance has come out of its orbit heads rapidly towards the earth, destroys moon and ultimately destroys earth.

A poor Indian professor by chance gets to know about this fact and when he tries to contact world powers, he gets to understand that the observatories have been closed.  Before he realizes the reason for their silence on the issue, things get out of his hand the facts come out open in media.  At first there is disbelief but as the moon disappears and things begin to happen the way the prof. predicts, people realize that end is near, how life is thrown out of gear, things are utter chaos, terror reigns supreme and eventually when the end comes how dirty things could get...

Considering this book was written even before the skylab incident, it is a scary fiction.. I mean if you had read this and then knew that sky lab thing is going to hit, I would have been scared!!!

Good read.

Rushi - Yandamoori Veerendranath

A fiction based on the human values, the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde mentality of a common man that comes and goes with fluctuating questionable values in going through a man's mind

manishini naitikamgaa tana chuttoo tanu nirminchukunna addugodallo naligipotoo, maaraleka, nacchinattu bratakaleka, vyasanaalaki baasinalavutoo, avvaalo ledo satamatamavutoo raka rakaalugaa bratakadam, bratakalekapovadam ane itivruttam meeda raasina pustakam..

A good read.


Devudi Paata - Penumaaka Nageswara Rao

kitty party ani stylegaa ee rojullo piluchukune daani asalu roopam cheeti paata ani chinnappudu vinedaanni nenu.. ivi vesi munigipoyina vaallu, munchesina vaallu, veeti aasa meeda jeevitaalu velladeesevaallu veellani choostoo perigina vaatavaranam naadi oka rakamgaa... madhya taragati sagatu bratukulo oka bhaagam aipoyina paata ee cheeti paata.

A fiction based on lives of people revolving around the monthly chits.. A lady who runs chits in a village, her past and present, an orphan girl who is raised collectively by the people in the village one per each day of the week, and each of the families in which she spends the week comprise of the main characters along with the guy who suddenly appears from that lady's past and takes her and the entire village for a ride... 

okay read.  Climax however is left to the reader's imagination....


Aug 4, 2012

Ankitam - Yandamoori Veerendranath

Typical YVN fiction with an illogical and unbelievable story line.  The story of a guy set out to save the son who he found at his doorstep as an infant.

The boy has failing kidneys and his kidney needs to be translated with one from his blood relatives, preferably a parent or a sibling for the fear of rejection as the time runs out, how the story unfolds where he realizes the boy is actually the son of the girl Sumadyuthi who he silently loves, who gets married to another guy who keeps doubting her for no fault of hers.  Though really illogical at times, I just loved the narrative and the quotes that come before certain chapters are really really good

"Aandolanani bootaddamlo chooste adi bhayam autundi"

Ninnu nuvvu kolpokundaa chesukogaligedi nuvve.


jeevitamlo rende rendu kaaranaalu phalitaalu, duradrushtavasaattu manam kaaranaalu vetukkodaaniki vecchinchina samayam phalitaalani sampaadinchataaniki ivvam.


Nijam - anveshanalonchi vastundi
Gelupu - krushilonchi vastundi


kontalo padi saatam, soonyamlo nooru saatam kante ekkuva.


ee prapamchamlo annitikante vishaadam enti ante manam chesede inkokaru cheste, adi manaki tappugaa anipinchatam.


... 


Many more such beautiful quotes and prologues in this book... simple wordslo soul-searching depth undi.. loved it.

Aug 1, 2012

Declutter

Phew, it is so easy to collect the mess that we do not need and might not ever use again, phew, no matter how much I try not to accumulate things just pile up... especially the kid's stuff these days.

I got a few new dresses, so time to give away the equal number which I am yet to do... same with the kid's clothes.. the catch here, however, is that I do not feel like giving the costly and really cute-looking fancy ones to the people in village :( and end up piling them up.  When I see the kids wearing them dirty and out of shape and color and everything, I feel it is such a waste.. :(, it would be better if I do not see others wearing them.

Toys....!  I have stopped buying toys to the kid this year consciously... other than an odd ball or puzzle, I did not getting anything but the old ones which for the same reason I cannot throw way are lying in front of me.. high time I need to either pack them off my sight or give them away...

The kid is having her first exam and looks like I am having the blues :).  First Unit test to be precise.. big day for her and so mine too.  From the bottom of the heart, I am not really bothered about the outcome or whatever or even generate that exam fear into her but I guess she got it from school but she was practicing her Aa, Bb, Cc (written), Aa to Jj (oral/identification).. which is the portion for today's English oral/written test... I told her to take it easy and not bother to prepare as she already knows them but she is insistent that one has to study and study and study for the exam.. God!!! where did she get that, certainly not from me.. kiddo definitely or maybe even OA.

My heart went out when she was practicing again and again and again what she already knew just because it was an exam day.. did not know whether to stop her or just let her be....

phew my parenting blues!


Jul 30, 2012

Time????

I have not really realized where time just flew,

the other day I happened to catch the last telecasted program of Satyameva Jayate and realized that I have not seen it since its 7th episode and the finale show happened the other day...

been to library last almost a month ago..

all I do is stay in snooze mode I guess...

Shake it up baby!!!!! I need better time management.

Jul 29, 2012

The lag

there has been a lag in a lot of things of late... a couple of more alphabets and I am done with the rural Telugu alphabet theme, what next anukodaaniki, this thing close to my heart itself has been neglected kaabatti anta pedda aim cheyyatledu..

>>>
...it is raining off and on, not too much of mud but just enough to walk about without slipping.
...a new set of household help, very minimalist though, is in place.  Life becomes so less complex when there is as less intervention as possible.
...too many mosquitoes thanks to oodupulu season, all of them seem to be having a vacation at our homes away from the fields, having a field day sucking up blood.
...the dysentery doing rounds in the village seems to subside but the housefly herds, God seemingly millions of them still continue without restraints!
...ISP parenting classes are good, am taking in what interests me, shocked at what is difficult for me to digest but on the whole thinking some good ways of parenting.

and I just wanted to do a random rambling, 'cos I finished my work, the kid is drinking milk for the past one hour.. not a gallon but somewhere around 3 oz, sigh!!! but I decided not to look at that side or scream or lose my balance and just let her be no matter how much sweet time she takes... sigh

Jul 28, 2012

Some days...

and Some Times

.... I just feel like lazing around, doing nothing, sleeping...

.... I just feel like running around but cant do...

.... I just feel like being there for Sreya every single moment but end up getting pissed off despite not wanting to...

.... I just feel like being the person I want to be from within but end up being someone I dont recognize...

I want to wake up, get things straight before time passes by me mocking me for my inability to utilize a golden opportunity but somehow just let the moment pass....

I need to BUCK UP...



Jul 27, 2012

Anaithikam - Yandamoori Veerendranath

The book is a narrative by 3 women, Ahalya, Syamala and Acchamma as to what is the acceptable norm in the society..

edi naitikam edi anaitikam.. tana daakaa vaste aadarsaalu elaa maarchukuntaaru, oka stree pade sangharshana, tana viewpointlo, tana narrative paramgaa readerski explain chese prayatnam...

Liked it..!

Jul 25, 2012

Uhhu.. Uhhuu

So, yet again another hibernating phase where I do not even update my pet picture blog.. what have I  been doing. well so many things and nothing really.

The domestic help gave away or I gave up on her/them is the right word to say, so much of internal conflict, so much of negativity, so much of anger, so much of hurt, so much of frustration and last but not least so much of back breaking work which I kind of lost in touch with.  Thankfully, the kid has been good, had been doing good health-wise except for minor cold and seasonal change and she has really taken to her new school.

She is very much attached to the household help(s) as she kind of grew up with them, it is tough and even heartbreaking to see her chanting their names to the point of questioning whether I did the right thing taking them out.. but for my peace of mind, I had to.

Am I growing old, senile, vintage model or what??  I do not really like the way youth behaves these days, their love life.. yeah, you heard it right bothers me no end.. such young buds who have their own strange notions on love, which is just time pass, a teenage fantasy, no morals, no fear of consequences.. scaring me to death thinking about the complications and implications whatever 'cos they stay at my place for quite some time in the day.

Whether I am willing to take up caring for teenage kids, even if they are household maids??? Nope.. I just cannot!!! too much on my plate to try and get things in order where there is utter chaos.  I end up feeling cheated, used and thrown..

EVERYTHING kind of boiled down to one thing.. do I need to spend so much time on things that are not in my control anyways and thereby neglect the kid.. NO.. I need to get her used to life in general, not the pampered queen life she had until now, so things have been going on and on and on... got an entirely new set of household helps with very minimal stay in the house hours, come, work, go types.. and GOD, is it peace...!! Heaven!!

The kid is yet to get used.. but she will eventually and has to.

Books and Health
Whenever I am sick.. yeah, finally after so many months of forgetting what being an asthmatic is like, each and every nerve fiber, joint, part in the body screams out individually saying hi and hello... and I end up on the bed, reading so many books to keep me sane.. and what best than covering the entire YVN series that OA happens to have at his place. Completed a bunch and have quite a few more..

Bye Bye BL
This year, I have decided to not get the British Library gift membership card by OA renewed, cover all the telugu books I can when I can still lay my hands on them is my current motto... thanks to the pains and aches, I am getting good time with the kid safely in school...


Buck Up
I need to pull myself up and complete the alphabet series that I had started, high time I do....


Chaitu, this is for you :), I will update the pic blog soon... promise! ).. love to Pishtru.


Swara Bethaalam - Yandamoori Veerendranath

Like he discusses Section 320 in Abhilasha, this book runs around Section 84 in IPC.. a fiction woven around some real life incidents in an interesting manner.

A person who kills his wife in public view gets acquitted on the grounds that he is mentally unstable.... reason???

the clever use of section 84... plot woven interestingly around a clever way to get away from pre-meditated murder.. good read.

Radha Kunthi - Yandamoori Veerendranath

The book deals with the internal struggle of two women Radha and Jaya.  In the backdrop of radio station in and around 1980s, the program schedules, the lives, politics, etc :) the actual title theme is about questioning the internal conflicts of women who can be categorised as Radha who found love in Krishna or Kunthi who got Karna from Surya!

Krishnudini enchukunna Radha cheddadaa?
Karnudini Kanna Kunthi Cheddadaa??

A good insightful read.

This book also has 6 stories at the end which are also good to read :).

Atadu Aame Priyudu - Yandamoori Veerendranath

A person who kills his wife escapes just the night before his hanging is to be carried out.  His final desire is to meet the girl of his dreams, who was his fellow student but whom he could never muster courage to talk to.

Events take a surprising turn when he gets to know that the person who was his wife's lover is actually his lover's husband and how he risks his life to get to see happiness in his girl's face makes up the story.

Typical movie-masala entertaining fiction... good read :).

Duppatlo Minnaagu - Yandamoori Veerendranath

A different way of writing, a cocktail of 6 stories by 4 friends and 2 "souls" bhootaalu :)... good attempt at clubbing them all together, liked the experiment.

Five friends who meet at a place for drinks after several years, where the bet is that one tells the least interesting story gets to pay the entire bill for this party.  Each of them comes up with a good story leaving the listeners wanting for more.  Each of them tells something better than the other, each story has some valid point or the other, some style of narration, some mystery, some suspense, where the ending is not completely revealed but is tempting to the others to ask what happens next...

How it all ends up in a surprising twist with a supernatural element is a cool read.

The dairy of Mrs. Sarada - Yandamoori Veerendranath

Story of a man Bosu, whose life takes various turns and twists where he gets in contact with two women Lakshmi Sarada and Visaarada... one who loves him and one who he loves.

Typical YVN thriller type of a read with some good quotes.  This is an interesting read given that it provides life in two different view points of two different women and also the guy who stands for what he believes in.

Good read.

Ladies Hostel - Yandamoori Veerendranath

Book plot deals with the murder mystery that happens in a ladies hostel.  The accused is an upcoming cricket star who gets married and gets arrested on his first night and how his wife, psychology student, risks her family's ire and struggles to get to the root of the entire thing and how she unveils things happening in ladies' hostels is an interesting read.

As usual, the author mixes real life incidents and gets a good fiction out of it.

good read.

Aasala Sikharaalu - Yaddanapudi Sulochana Rani

A typical YSR read.. loosely based on the theme "no one can change the entire world, the best one can do is live without harming others.." my fundaa :) where the protagonist sees different stages in life before settling for ultimate peace and compromise in life.

Simple narrative, okay, easy breezy read.

Bangaaru Rojulu - Kavana Sarma

A fiction based on college/university life/politics/friendships/love/family/society in a bygone era...first published in 1976, it typically reads like a story in those days..

We get a feel of an old world movie... enchakka Harnath and Jamuna alaa imagine chesukuntoo chadivesina book :).

Kshaminchu Supriya - Yandamoori Veerendranath

A collection of dozen stories written in various styles, a good read.

This book begins with a note by Puranam Subramanya Sarma on criticism on YVN's works, his writing style, his being a junk writer, who spoils literature and things like that.. provides an interesting read :) like his own works :).

All said and done, as an official fan, I find his writings amusing, entertaining and taking me to a different world.. never failing to capture my attention... :).

Jul 10, 2012

So, I had been...

doing a lot of things these past few days.  Got the kid admitted to a school in the next village after what I thought was much thought-after decision and fell flat.  The kid did not like her school, too much strength for pre-kg class around 60, no fans (well, I still curse myself for not looking up or having that doubt), they got one the moment I decided to pull her out but the damage was done.  Even if there were fans fitted, there was almost no power round-the-clock thanks to the power and water crisis going on!!!

The primary concern however was food intake, the boxes both lunch and snack came uneaten and the worst part was the kid used to cry and vomit her breakfast.. sick feeling seeing the kid the way she became in just a matter of week, clingy, cranky.. singing I do not want to go to school every single day..  I should have listened to my gut feeling, got her out the first day, I realized it was a mistake, which was the moment I got her to the class... NO...!! FOR ONCE, I decide to stick to my mother's expert opinion and curse myself for having done so.  My precious child suffered like anything for 2 full weeks before I decide to put an end to it... totally entirely completely my fault.. I  should have listened to her.

Now, we found another school, kind of a mixed playschool where she gets to play, individual attention with just 20 kids, no forced learning, eating on her own, reciting happily what she learns, playing with other children and most essentially looking forward to go to school.. THANK GOD!!! the ordeal is over!

I consider myself a most nonfussy parent, not forcing her to learn, just play and learn and enjoy every moment but just be happy with whatever she does but obviously I expect too much from the kid.. being happy.  I expect her to be happy but I do not see the signs, expect her to be happy despite of my mistakes, expect her to be happy not learning when she was actually bored about not learning anything new.  She wants to learn and I SHOULD provide her what she needs to be happy rather than just expect her to be happy and blame her for not being so when there is absolutely no pressure.. I had been forcing her to be happy :(((.. I am not sure if I put it right but words are failing me.

Mom knows the best is true to an extent but kids actually know what is best for them in their own way, just look at the signs and make them comfortable and happiness would just follow..

Sorry little one to put you through this.. forgive mamma!!!!  Look at my ego, I am even scared to admit that to you because deep down I have a feeling you would take it as my weakness and play me to suit your needs... I need to go a loooooooooong way in parenting...!!

Kadha 2004



Kadha 2004

An excellent collection of 14 stories.  Different dialects of narration, leaving a lasting impression on the reader.  One of the most intriguing and thought provoking reads in the recent times a good one for story collectors.  Great job by the publishers.

Pelli Evariki - Arikepudi Kousalya Devi

Fiction set in just post-Independence era in a backdrop of a dysfunctional family where both the patriarch and the matriarch have unruly ways one chooses to claim fame giving speeches on abolishing dowry and all social activities secretly following the exact opposite at home and mother neglecting her daughters and sons and is a strict typical wicked mother-in-law to an obedient DIL.

There are 3 sons and 2 daughter, the elder one married with a kid, the second one a rebel and third one the sensible among the lot.  First daughter is educated and works despite opposition from the family but the younger one falls for her father's clerk and is unruly.  How the third son takes the reins of the family and gets  them all back on track is the gist.. an okay middle class backdrop read!

Eega

Watched the movie other day.  The news is that our dabba Poornima has DTS and QUBE satellite facility now and all the movies are released first day first show.. SUPER!!

The theater is essentially very much the same, no lights, no proper fans and stuff but yes, it is up to date with latest movie featuring technology.  Considering that the kid only likes watching movies in our dabba, I end up going there when I take the kid and even otherwise got so used to it that neater places seem too uncomfortable ;).

Coming to the movie, loved watching it.  Nani rocked in his minuscule role.  It was Sudeep all the way, a gem of an actor considering he might not even have had a fly hovering around him. It is his show all through.. and of course Eega saigalu... signs of the fly were really convincing and actually understandable.. the subtle comedy at the end, the fly dance.. loved everything about the movie... can watch once again.. and mind you only in theater :).

Jun 25, 2012

Naanaaniki Rendo Vaipu - Kandukuri Venkata Maha Lakshmi

A collection of 27 short stories on day to day events... okay read!.. known stories in a simple write up style.

Soundaryam - Kommuri Ravi Kiran

Coincidentally back to back father, son books...

Liked the book Soundaryam, more like a personality development book with a good story woven around good virtues in a person.  The story of an ideal person in every which way, how he transforms people he comes across, a feel good story.

It would be great if everyone were to change just like that but a good thought for fiction, positive book.

Jun 19, 2012

Pasupu Kumkuma - Kommuri Venu Gopala Rao

Fiction woven around lives of 2 women who are friends, who meet my chance at work place, who have radically different opinions on life and relationships.  Both of them are orphaned due to various reasons.   One gets married after love and takes it with ease when he leaves and marries yet again, idealistic, materialistic, and pragmatic.. gets rejected one more time, does not regret and gets back to work at orphanage, the place that tendered her and another marries her boss, how things unfold due to his ill health and his bad company and the way she copes up with it, yielding in time and again is unthinkable to me... yet a contrast the author brings out makes it an okay read.

Jun 16, 2012

Spiritualistic!

When attending ISP session, I had come across this wonderful, simple yet clear definition of spirituality, so wanted to share it with you guys...


Ritualistic is performing rituals, praying to idols, chanting mantras, listening to discourses.
Materialistic is being happy for a reason when the cause is taken away or the taste fades away, it kinds of goes down or vanishes (happiness)
BUT
Spiritualistic is about being happy for no reason.

So, a block kind of fits in the missing puzzle solving about what I am actually looking for, the questions and answers that I keep asking myself and getting in my deep meditation phases, which have dwindled by the way. :( but then I have just myself to blame and nothing else.

ISP - 9-Week Online Parenting Course by Raviji


Extremely sorry for the late heads up guys,

Sri RaviJi, one from the first couple practicing SSY, Raviji and Gayathri Ma, has enabled us an online session featuring ISP for 9 weeks between 7 and 9 p.m. IST on Saturdays.

Dear wonderful parents of beautiful children!
We just started the new batch of ISP online classes on Saturday, i.e. 9th June 2012. We sent invitations to you from www.wiziq.com. I am not sure if you have noticed it!
Take this opportunity to give the best to your child!
Your child is growing faster than we imagine! What you cannot give now, cannot be given later easily!
With concern for your child, we remind you the last chance to join the present batch of ISP online course.
Be positive and offer your greatest gift to yourself and the child - ISP- Art of Joyful parenting!

Regards,
Raviji
M: 07569261234
M: 09392444251
Magicjack: 321-420-9091

The session had actually started on 9th June but for the sake of new entrants, we had a repeat introductory Session yesterday too 16, June 2012.

So, there is still chance for you to get into the program rather than wait up for the next chance.

HURRY NOW.. I have got some wonderful reviews and notes for the ISP posts done by Rekha here, so the parents really interested in one on one interaction and the course by the Guru himself, it is a golden chance, considering he is coming to her homes through WizIQ learning/web sessions.


The payment amount varies between India and US.. for parents in India it is 6,600 rs/-, the ISP course material would be sent home and due to shipping variance, the price for overseas is a bit more which needs to be confirmed over the phone.  Payment mode is money transfer through ICICI bank details that will be provided over the phone or Paypal which again can be gotten over the phone with the Guruji himself.

My experience with online class
Since I live in a remote area in AP, I have no option of attending any such courses or sessions but this one has been God sent and ever since Rekha suggested me this one and also my friends Bindu and Suraj practised it on their kid, I was like I must do this!!! I want my kid to have that kind of a parenting too, let me better myself as a person and a parent and experience that ecstatic feeling firsthand and enjoy my kid thoroughly!!!

The introduction to the thought of having a child, the way we want her/him to be as an adult or grow up, the reason we need to let them be, the priorities of what is what?  Why and When should we do What and Why and what we should not.  Yes, we know the best, but a little guidance wont really hurt.

IT was my first session with Wiziq, the master was in a panel through his webcam on the screen with an interactive window open below for us to type in our comments.  We can hear him and see him but unless we are given mike rights we wont be able to speak to him but interaction is through chat window which he responds to immediately... like there are questions posed to us by him and we type in there, we have queries, we put them forward and he replies.

There was a bit of lag maybe due to my connectivity but it was just right, no reason to complain.

The home plays (things to be practiced during this week at home) are
Vision - Writing down our vision for the kid on a sheet of paper along with the personality we have in mind while wanting him/her to be.
Say and Do - Running commentary of what we are doing, what is happening around him/her, talking and interacting and listening.
Talking in Sleep - Talking to the kid in her/his sleep, curing the kid, letting the kid know of something in that semi-sleep state (whispering clearly in the ear in a soothing voice) after the kid goes to sleep.

I had fun and knowledge dissemination, if you want to be there... pls. be there... not just for the heck of it but to reform your own self, understanding parenting as a concept as a study as an art and not just a mere responsibility.

and YES, we can replicate what guruji says here, like how Rekha has done it wonderfully for us or me after going through the session in my own words, my experiences but that was all when we had no such option of guruji doing it for us.. but Guruvu nerpina vidyani minchinadi inkoti untundaa?.. when we have him teaching it to us, learning from him is a different thing altogether.


The session happens completely in English, so regional/local language is not a barrier... 

Jun 11, 2012

Aame Otamini Odinchindi - Gurazaada Sobha Perindevi

This is a semi biography, semi personality development book, yet another one along the lines of Sikhara Darsanam.

A book about Erra Bhavani or Abhinandana Bhavani, an organizer of events and a person who associates herself with Apna Ghar which is most certainly a very noble cause.

I have not personally heard of her before.  She happens to be organizing events under the organization Abhinandana, an offshoot of Vamsi group which does the same events, felicitating people from various fields, mostly cinema/entertainment, finding sponsors, building contacts to help support Apna Ghar, associating herself with Mahila Mandali, Pooja groups and a lot of other activities, everything I got to know only through the book.

Somehow, it did not strike a cord... I appreciate the work that is it.  Had I gotten to know her personally through her work, it would have been different but knowing her through the book which kind of seemed to point fingers while praising someone.... well, unless you bring out bad in someone else, you cant say the good about this person type of attitude or whatever.. just did not go well with the book and me.

too many print errors, contradictions, one of the very badly executed books I have read in the recent times!

Jun 10, 2012

Sataabdi Sureedu - Malathi Chandur

I really liked this book.  It is about the life and times of a baby girl Suryam (Sureedu/Suryamma) who is born into a Brahmin family where the tradition is to marry off the girls before 12 years of age.  Her father dies at an early age and her mother is widowed, the whole ritual kind of scares the hell out of that baby girl who is scared to go to her own mother in a different garb, the white saree and tonsured head.  She is married off but within a year, before even being sent to her husband's place is widowed as the boy dies due to Chickenpox and from then the troubles start in her life.

How she leads the rest of the lives, intermixed with changes in lives, the smoke engines and trains, the emergence of electricity and sophisticated ways of living and changes and all about the life of a young widow who lives to be 90, seeing the deaths of her mother and rest of her siblings and her adopted daughter Kamala who also passes away and how her end comes, very heartening and so very true!!!

A fiction that kind of touched me to the core.  The feelings of three generations of women, their strengths and weaknesses and way of life!!!

Jun 8, 2012

Craving, Confusion and Cowardice

God, I am craving some nice reads after so much of Junk that I read, at times I feel I should stop reading and give myself a break until I get some good reads but then kukka toka vankara typelo malli modalu :(.

Exercising, meditating, working a bit at home, some discipline in life minus my work life..

School time starts for the kid and I am yet undecided where to send her, not many options as to the syllabus it is going to be State as of now but which school... I actually want to send the kid to the local govt. school but there is so much of resistance and opposition considering the language and mannerisms the kid is going to pick up from there??  Trust me, I had been there and I know very well, how bad/mad it can get... Wish had some dedicated teachers to work on it.  I would still want to work it out... if I have my kid I would be more interested to work it around and make it good!!

Some times when I end up doing much against my wish, I really feel so hopeless and helpless... ededo cheseyyaali, uddarincheyyaali samaajaanni anesukotame kaani... nannu nenu uddarinchukovaali ani gattigaa anukonu...why am I hesitating so much if that is what I really want to do.  Why is that I am still dilly-dallying and want to send her to the least of the worst options I have in front of me.  Why is education system so bad in India.. there is so much the govt. is providing us with and in the trickle-down corruption effect, we do not really see the implementation...

classes 1 to 5, 2 teachers... and at any given time, unless there is an inspection only one of them is present managing all the kids.

The kids sweep the class rooms and premises, help the midday meal contractor with washing dishes...

The language they speak, the lack of hygiene and everything...

Why do I not just begin my work here, what am I so afraid of or confused about... I am beginning to doubt if all I say is from my mouth and not from my heart, when it comes to my kid, why the hell am I not willing to experiment!!!!!!  I am certain if this happens, I would just move even hell or high water to make it good for her, then why not????

WHY NOT???

WHY DO I CHOOSE TO POINT THE FINGER AT MY MOTHER OR SOME XYZ WHO DOES NOT WANT THE KID THERE... Do I really want???

Nee Raaka Kosam - Ravinutala Suvarna Kannan

An okay read with story line based on re-birth theory with 3 people linked up with each other from God knows how many births spanning 300 years of history, lovers united after much opposition in the previous generation...

.. unbelievable, logic-less read... 

Manogatam - Suryadevara Ram Mohan Rao

Hmm.... another got the book so got to read it type read.. fiction, absolutely mindless, logic-less and careless work...

A poor boy brought up by a rich family, 2 boys grow up like brothers, even their names changed to match each other's Surya and Chandra.. How differences crop up, how one dies and the other gets to marry 2 girls, a crazy plot with crazy narration!



Jun 7, 2012

Madhura Swapnam - Yaddanapudi Sulochana Rani

After a real long time, I got hold of YSR book.. actually, eevida maa friend baamma, so at one point almost anni books chadivesaanu because Jaya, my buddy, has a bound book collection of all her works, so Yandmuri OA moolaana, Yaddanapudi Jaya moolana, Daniel Steele because of availability in Fulton County Library naa most read authors :).

Keeping it aside... ee movie maatrame kaadu, cinema kooda choosinattu gurtu naaku, Jaya Sudha, Jaya Pradha, Krishnam Raju and that song Madhura Swapnam, mana madhura swapnam ringing in my ears, I read the entire book once again visualizing them in their roles.

Interestingly, when I googled MS for director of the movie, it was cited that this movie was taken from the book The Citadel by A.J. Cronin which by the way, I had read once earlier and except for a vague storyline nothing was similar.  I am not sure if YS was inspired by that book 'cos it was not mentioned anywhere but the book comes closest to the movie and not The Citadel, so due credit for that should be given to YS and not A.J. Cronin ani naa personal feeling...

any idea what is the fact?

Movie Time

Dammu

Kaneesam oke okka non-kamma manchi review iste choodaali ani wait chesaa chaala rojulu ee movie gurinchi :)... adi jaragaledu, naadi delay aipoyindi... first day first show scope undi ippudu naaku, anni maa dabbaalone release aipotunnaayi ayinaa ee totti linkup pettukuni vadilesaa... :).. anyways, elagola choosesaa :)

I actually liked Dammu and Jr. in that movie... vipareetamaina violenceni pakkana pedite, it was a good masala mass movie.  Buddodu matuku all time best... tella chokkaalo iragesesaadu asala dilkush aipoyindi, pellayyaaka maanchi kala vacchindi :) !

Daruvu
Nenu Govinda and Ravi Teja movies choodataaniki baaga prefer chestaanu, paisa vasool, cinema ante logicless, mindless, mass entertainers untaay but this must be the worst of all... Yamalokamlo gola.. kaakigola laaga anipinchindi... even bhoolokamlo kooda story tussss!!!! tala potu movie!

Mooda Manishi - Kaakani Chakrapani Kadhalu - 4

A nice refreshing read after the battery of movie style fiction reads for me which just happen to be random pics from the local library by my help :) and the kid.

This book consists of 18 stories, 15 of which really touched a part of me.  I would love to read the other collections of this author as the book says it is his fourth.

A close observation and indepth understanding of middle class and lower middle class lives and realities associated with it in a practical simple manner.

An interesting read!

Vecchani Vodi - Ravinutala Suvarna Kannan

Fiction..

An extremely doctor who worships beauty gets interested in a wedding proposal by his parents looking at the eternal external beauty.  The story has a mystery touch to it as his colleague, a not-so good looking doctor falls into a murder trap and how he along with his other doctor friend and colleague gets her out.  Gradually, he realizes the value of inner beauty and understands the shallowness of the other girl... a typical telugu movie style write-up.

Okay read... 

Jun 5, 2012

Graha paatlu

naa paatlu...

varietygaa ee madhya naaku naa left eye konchem numbgaa picchi picchigaa anipistundi, noppi ledu but somehow I do not feel all is well... debbaki dadichipoyi doctor deggaraki velte.. aayana oka satte kaalapu satteyya... rendu gantalu koorchopetti rendu saarlu kantlo chukkalu petti, dooram ninchi choosi, deggarninchi choosi, computerlo choosi, aksharaalu chadivinchesi, torch petti choosi, inkotedo petti choosi... mottam meeda ededo chesesi naaku allergic retinitis undi bhayamemi ledu.. kaaranam antoo pratyekamgaa emi ledu, cheppalemu ani malli chukkala mandulu minge billalu padesi vaaraaniki rammannaaru...

pedda tedaa emi ledu.. ee vaaram taravata malli vellaali, alaa kallu moosukuno, tv choodakundaa kevalam paatalu vintoono enta kaalam undagalam asala.. andulonu naa laanti busy body.. :(...

Bhagavantudi icche inta adbhutamaina varaalu, those beautiful natural lens in our eyes undagaa edo brahmaandamaina lens unna camera konaali laanti kalalu pettukuni unna jeevitaanni enta waste chesukuntaam kadaa... ade choopuleni vaari paristiti.. ammo taluchkuntene narakapraayamgaa undi...

ilaa okko organ oldage raakamunde taata byebye cheppestunte digulestundi appudappudu....

emi chestunnaanayyaa baabu ante rojuki aaru saarlu moodesi chukkalu mandulu kantlo posukuntoo, asso usso antoo pustakaalu chadivestoo... tappaipoyindi debbadipoyindi anukuni mallee buddhigaa dhyaanam chesukuntoo... alaa alaa alaa....

Prema Lekha - Potturi Vijaya Lakshmi

Really really enjoyed reading this book.  This book is the basis for the movie Sreevaariki Prema Lekha directed by Jandhyala... One of my most favorite movies.  Loved every bit of the movie.  Must say this is the first time ever I liked the cinematized version better than the book.  Since I already kind of knew the story,  without any change I imagined the characters in the book with the ones that were in the movie along with the songs Tolisaari and premalekha :).

The book in no way is less than the movie, though the movie has been altered to add much more comic touch towards the climax, I enjoyed reading the book thoroughly... a lovely read


Sravanthi - C. N. Chandrasekhar

Fiction with a story line based on the fears and insecurities of a young woman from Kurnool Sravanthi, who gets selected for SBI and gets posted in Chittor Branch who fortunately falls into good company but is plagued by constant fears planted in her mind about a colleague who is trusted and respected by everyone... not really gripping but okay read.

Prema Enduku? - Chandu Sombabu

Fiction again, the story line deals with life of a beautiful medico who gets sucked up into drama company and how she loses a balance between education and life and ends up destitute and who ultimately dies trying to get self-aborted.

okay read...

May 31, 2012

A special review blog???

Some times, when I just browse through my blog looks more like a review one :), books, movies, songs.. idi adi ani ledu.. but mostly reviews, so these days I have consciously decided to post a line or two in a different post and kind of succeeded in doing so for a while and then back into the old groove... sigh.


Actually, I have this other blog Movies, Masti, Magic which I had back in US where I used to watch at least one movie or more even a day to kill time before job and friends happened... I almost never reviewed books.

There are many times I even thought of seeing if I can  move all my review posts there, maybe I would have done that too if I knew how to move just posts related to a particular label to another blog.

and then again I think, Sreeszone is exclusive my zone and as the name suggests it is Simply Sree and I get confused.. like if I am doing more of reading, there they come and more of listening or watching there they come and that is my life and how it comes.  Come to think of it, I do not overtly reveal the personal incidents in my life, it is just the feelings that I share, I do not really share anything about kid's routine stuff other than that letter thanks to Kuch Kuch Hota Hai effect ;). but again this is something which gave me immense pleasure, writing to the kid, it is all about politics, issues and things that catch my attention, my blah blah blah.. and some more blah.blah.blah... so even thought it crossed many times that I should be using the Movies, Masti, Magic (which kind of says everything about my passion.. 'cos books and music come under masti and magic to me) but then let it be...

I already have 2 more active blogs one for pictures and other for kid care, which was my passion project when the kid was newborn, infant and a very tiny toddler.. gradually with the growing age and less of panic, I kind of started neglecting it and it is another issue altogether.. but that is one blog that has been really fulfilling.  I get really really heartfelt thanks notes and those who take pains not just to use info but let me know they did and a few do actually give in useful tips and do value addition, must say the most loved blog :).

As usual, koti kommucchukuni atu itu gantulesi malli paata matter deggara settle avvadam ante ide annamaata...
so, now the question is
*** Is there a need to have a separate review blog?
*** If I can move just specifics posts to another blog.. is there any such provision than that manual copy and paste?????

*** this means I am on yet another break from work and emi cheyyaalo teliyani paityam also... anyways, do let me know if there is a chance of moving, just in case...

thanks in advance.

Arikepudi (Koduri) Kowsalya Devi Kadhalu

A collection of 22 short stories, I think this is the first time I am reading this author, heard a lot about her though.  All the stories are simple, sounded like they were Krishna Dt. based :), could identify with what is being conveyed.  Easy flow, good reads.  Liked them, feel good ones, conservative, traditional, devotional and middle class family values.


Abhilasha - Yandamoori Veerendranath

I have seen this movie, Chiranjeevi and Radhika and remember the song Navvindi Malle Chandu and that laughter and Radhika in that song laughing like crazy and loved the mystery aspect of it when I watched it as a kid..

Read the book, knowing the story fully well, I could not put it down even for once, such is the gripping narrative.  Again, a very good analysis of human psyche along with some knowledge and referencing on the section 302, with respect to other countries which have totally done away with that and the need to abolish it from our constitution in order not to commit a grave error of killing an innocent person.  Weaving an interesting narrative around it, done wonderfully by YV.

And someone asks me who my favorite author is.... any doubts...?  Not just this book but all of them put together.

May 30, 2012

Vela Kaani Vela - Merlapaaka Murali

Bordering on cheap trash with descriptive narration at times, not my kind of a read... but I must say I was in a more tolerant mood to actually have the patience to finish it off.  Fiction revolving around a detached guy whose motto in life is never to have more than you need, who one last time before leaving India for good for a job in Malaysia, due to circumstances he gets in, decides to meet all the women who had an influence in his life in his younger years and give one of them the cash of 5 lakh rupees that he wins as part of some lucky dip and how he ends up ultimately taking care of one of them... different true aspects of life surface but narrative kind of put me off personally.

Dependence and help

How much can one stretch beyond limit to help another person... asalu evarikaina saayam cheste, konchem manchigaa maatlaadite daanni mana chetakaani tanam anukunenta enduku ayipoyindi samaajam.  I have people around who I can really do away with but just cannot because I hate saying that to them who come with hopes, but then I realize at times that they are playing my weaknesses.  Most of the times I go out of the way shielding them.  Once things get out of their hands, they run for my help while I would be totally unaware of what was happening in the first place.  I get irritated no end and to top all my personal issues, eella gola okati naa praanaaniki ani visugu vacchestundi.

I just need to put an end to it all!! which I will.

Asalu nenenduku household help lekundaa chesukogalanu ani dhairyamgaa undalekapotunnaanu.. okaraa iddaraa anta mandini elaa bharinchanu.. I mean, I have a lot of people helping around voluntarily though I pay them I very much appreciate them being around, just in case and of course, madeeya maataa Sri gaaru kooda anta parivaaram tappadu ani aagnalu vestoo untaaru.

Devudaa eevidatoti padanaa, vaalla toti padaanaa, asala andarinee vadilesi sanyaasam teesukona??????  Oorandariki adoka type problem aite naaku inko type.. kharmaraa babu.


Gopichand Rachana Saraswam - Kadhalu - 1

Asamardhuni Jeevitha Yatra maatram chadivaanu eeyana pustakam.. Gopichand sahityam ante baaga goppagaa antoo untaaru andulonu Gudivada deggara aayana puttinooru, so edaina pustaka sabhalu krishna zillalo jarigite TGC gurinchi taluchukokunda undaru..

alaa modalayina interest, even our library has complete collection of his Centenary Collection published books.  Since I prefer reading stories to novels, started it off with the short story collection of 52 stories.  Liked the initial write-up by Gopichand in his words.  In his stories, I have come across communist and socialist feelings, the practicality of implementing it in those days scenario.  Ironically, it holds good even to this date.

Some of them got me thinking and even made me want to work on it consciously.. some I do not totally agree like pativrata antarangikam which, I personally felt kind of generalizes things.. but by and large, should say nothing really changed in our society... seemingly progressive thought process anipistundi kaani inkaa we are holding on to same old capitalist views emo anipistundi.

May 27, 2012

Chiru meeda naa gola


I have read a book which I just reviewed Sikhara Darsanam, this book was written a while ago even before Charan was introduced into movies, where Chiru's political interests were clear as the author wished him all the success in politics...???? and I also happened to watch an interview of YV on ABN where he also mentioned the misunderstanding regarding political entry at the time of canning Mruga Raju around 10 to 15 yrs. ago.   Call it coincidence, I just read the book and watched the video back to back and more than anything what stuck me was as I always maintained Chiru's entry into politics was a deeply pre-meditated decision.

I was in US when the strong rumor emerged and vehemently denied.  I remember the mystery that Chiru kept until the very last moment of his entry into politics that fans wanted him to come but he was not actually wanting to come into it, no intentions whatsoever but I always argued that it is not a sudden one-day realization, chalo let us satisfy the fans and do something for the state in my own way.. it was a very very calculated move, the charities, the eye and blood bank, the movies with political, social consciousness backdrop, gradually.. everything with a clear motive of playing on the audience psyche.  Not that I find anything wrong in it but a little more honesty and openness I would have admired and supported to bring about the change.

Prabhanjanam srushtinchaali, charitra tiraga raayaali ani just oka community based feeling or open grudge on another communityni base chestoo politicslo paiki edagadam anedi jaragadu unless it is backed up with an intention to serve the fellow men through thick and stick and hold the ground no matter what!!!

I used to argue that Chiru would never sustain even after so much planning and an amateur I was, I  actually turned out to be right... all he could do was split votes, cheat his own trusted followers who really wanted to see a difference and join hands with opposition leaving the grass roots in confusion.. sonta gootiki cherina oka vargam ani oka paper caption raaste.. paiki cheppam anukuntoone enta cleargaa cheppestaam musugesi mana thoughtsni anipinchindi.  They re-joined where they initially came from!...

Yes, the ground reality no matter how much I say things have changed, society has moved in terms of social consciousness, we are still stuck in our caste, creed, religion barriers and no matter how sophisticated, open minded and practical we might seem to be we still play on other's weaknesses to get across our own selfish motives.. Power, position, fame whatever be it.  Phalaana manishiki seat icchaaru ante aa arealo aa person community base and population choodatam maanesina roju I would say yes, idi saamaajika nyaayam ani.

Call me biased, well I never deny that...!

Chiranjeevi - Sikhara Darsanam ~ Srikanth Kumar

Random pick from the local library once again.

Here, I did not get the actual point of the author in writing this book, had it been a personality development book, it would have been a good read.  Had it been an out and out Chiru life/career/personal story it would have been a really good read, considering he had no god father in movies, hailed from a very normal middle class family... but the concept of this the confused author confused me.. Bringing out the personality traits of winners and relating it to Chiranjeevi is what had been tried but in doing so, it sounded more like chiru fanatic doing it than the actual PD advocate doing it.

The book is divided into subsections with incidents the author relates as stepping stones of success or failures and common mentalities of great people and the final Anubandham consists of notes about Allu family and Chiru family, his rise and fall and the good points and supposedly inspiring points.  Inspiration should come automatically is what I personally feel, forced inspiration only gets a little too much to digest.

I did not get feel of reading a biography, a PD or self-help book.. a confused attempt!


Cine Panchatantram - Yerramsetti Sai

Based on some true incidents and general happenings in the film industry, this book is loosely based to be written along the lines of panchatra neethi kadhalu.  I could not really enjoy the book much because it lacked that easy flow and narrative style is something that I did not really enjoy...

vere moodlo chadivite maybe nacchedemo but ee endallo, tummutoo, daggutoo, jwaram vacchi.. enduko chadiveseyyaali ani chadivaanu tappite ishtapadi chadavalekapoyaanu.

May 23, 2012

Ads that dont leave me

annam tinetappudu TV choodakoodadu... idi andariki telisina fact... No TV while eating food, focus on food.. telisina vishyame but paatincham kadaa.. chinnappatininchi choostaa nenu edaina tindaam ani pettukuni TV pettagaane tokkalo Harpic ad okati modalavutundi... Madhavan, Abbas, ledante inko face edo commode/seat choopinchi maree saavagodataaru... poni Indian channelsaa ante nenu Atlantalo unnappudu kooda same story different brand...

cheee naa batuku anukuni channel maarustaanu tappite eppudu food teesukuni table deggariki maatram ellanu.  entalaaga tune aipoyindi ante nenu annam pettukogaane TV unnaa  lekapoyinaa aa ad gurtu raatam.... Sreya puttaaka I kind of banned TV for a couple of years, so aa trap ninchi bayata paddaa.. ee madhya malli Balika Badhu choostunnaa kada dinner time and adi... hatavidheee...!

Quirks andariki untay kaani naa laanti variety of quirks takkuvemo anipistadi gurtocchinappudu.


Kid's Tales

I do not really write much about the kid's day to day stuff in this blog and other than the occasional letter I write to her, which reminds me it has been quite some time I did that either...

I have realized that soaking it up in I forget to write it anywhere else too..

She is growing up too fast, a 3-year-old young lady if I can say that, little monster, crazy like me, lazy at times, super active most of the times, vasa pitta, nasa gaadu, totti fellow as I call her lovingly and literally... maybe I will try to document them here...

by the way, the latest most used name I call the kid with is "kunku" with love.. "kunkadu" when she has her no-eating tantrums...

Life moves on, leaving its footprints just in the mind.... sands of time, disappearing super fast...!

May 22, 2012

Maha Shwetha - Sudha Murthy

I got to read a translation by Alakananda publications of Jagadeeswari.

It is a wonderful read, the course of the story is good but the climax is the best of it all.

The best part about it, is the way the author unknowingly touching the life of a girl to be married and the contentment she has when she figures it out.

I love one thing that comes across in SM's writings, the simplicity of language, the honesty and the approach.

I would have loved to read it in her words in original but then I dont really understand kannada that much even though the script is similar to Telugu..

The struggle and the emerging survivor of an extremely beautiful girl, Anupama, whose life initially from rags to riches reminds one of cinderella story but all of a sudden, leukoderma, turns her world upside down.

Though she does not immediately take a grip on her life, how she gets back the reigns of her life forms an interesting and motivational read.

When questioned what saw you through this all by Dr. Satya.. I loved the answer of Anupama.. to find what it is read the book.. you will not regret reading it.



Agamya Gamyam - Chava Sivakoti

Not my type of read... edo teesaanu kaabatti chadavaali types..fiction based on liquor mafia, the business, the contracts, the politics, power, money, lust, love, life everything revolving around the liquor business... life and the business in equal measures...


For Evil Eyes on LO