Foreword

There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

Ref: Chichkoo is what I lovingly call my daughter, kiddo my brother, amma and taatee my late maternal grandparents, and OA is the other adult in the family.

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Feb 14, 2012

Chinnaari Chitti Mutyamaa...

Bulli Trukkaay,

I love you bangaarayya, andari kante ekkuva... nuvvante naaku ento ittam :)... iiiiiiiiiiiiiiintthhha itttam :).  Happy Valentines Day gundappadam!

Boldu rojulani ninchi neeku oka pedda uttaram raayalani undi, ededo raaseyyaali.. uhhuu.. uuhhuu.. ippudu neeku artham kaadu kaabatti cheppinaa edo amma mogutundile anukuni madhya madhyalo muddulu pettukuntoo illantaa tirigi gantulu vesukuntoo veltaav kaabatti, anukunnadi neeku cheraali ante ippudu raasukuni uha telisaaka mallee mallee veera baadudu sessions pedataanu annamaata :).

Computer screen meeda nalakalagaaa modalu pettaanu ninnu choodatam, rendu arachetullo ettukunnaanu.. annee ninna monna laagane unnaay, ippudu chooste naalo sagam kante ettu aipoyi chengu chengu mantu ledi pillalaaga tirugutunnaav, kaalam etu egiripoyindi chittodaa?  muddu muddu maatala mucchata teerane ledu appude anni spashtamgaa cheppestunnaav entraa idi?

Enno cheppaali anukuntoone velakattaleni paathaalu nee ninchi nerchukuntunnaanu.  Nee prati kadalika naakoka vinta, acchata mucchata.  Nee prati adugu naakoka kotta daari choopedutundi.  Puttagaane ammo penchagalana, ee pasiguddini emi chesukonu, ela choodanu ani bembelu padipoyaanu kaani, enchakkaa neeku kaavalasinavi naaku teliselaa chesi, eppudu elaanti ibbandi raakundaa.. arey nene penchesaana, pillalni penchatam inta telikaa anukunelaaga chesesaav.. edo maaya chesesaav.

Nenu pakkaki tirigi naligipotaavemo, nenu ninnu ettukuni padipotaanemo, mancham meeda ninchi dollipotaavemo, paalu saripotunnaayo ledo, aaharam saripotundo ledo, sarigga perugutunnaavo ledo.. chuttu unde pillalu boddugaa undi nuvvu sannagaa unte adoka benga, pallu raakapote oka badha, vastoo vastoo avi ninnu pette baadha choosi inko baadha, paakadam raaledu ani oka benga, vacchaaka etu vellipotaavo ani inko benga... nadavtledentra, kaali balam chaalatleda ani oka bhayam, nadaka saagaaka dhabee dhabee ani padipotunte hadilipoyenta bhayam.. prati adugulo, prati malupulo enno bhayaalu...gandaala gundam daatinattu prati saree oopiri peelchukovadam antalo kotta bhayam.. anneee kevalam nee bhayalenamma antoo abhaya hastam istunnattugaa nuvvu mundukellipovadam... edo ilaa picchi picchigaa penchesaanu raa kannalu.. nenu penchaanu anatam kante nuvvu perigipoyaavu anatam correctemo.

Enno vishayaalu neekelaa cheppaalo antoo nenu tarjana bharjanalu padelopu adi ento saamanyamaina vishayamgaa teesukuni telusukuntaavu.. Chaavu ante ento, aa bhayam ento aa baadha ento neeku teliyadu, pattadu kaani adi okati undi ani, vaallu tirigi raarani artham ayyindi... elaa cheppaala, emi bhayapadipotaava ani nenu alochinchinde ekkuva, adedo saamaanyamaina vishayam neeku.. annee kottagaa nerchukuntunnaa idi kooda kotta vishayam annatlu unnaavu.

Prema gurinchi neeku cheppalsindi ledu nerchukovadam tappa.. prapamchamlo prati daanni anta premato choodatam kevalam pasi biddalaki maatrame saadhyamavutundemo.  Egire pakshi, paake purugu, kukka pilla, kodi pilla, aavulu, doodalu, gedalu, chetlu, aakulu, poolu, eegalu, domalu manishi andaru samaaname, andaru okate.. pasitanamlo inta kalmasham lenitanam ninchi ee naadu ee kullu, kasi, kutralu kutantraalu, ekkada alavadutunanayo manaki...

entoraa ee madhya englishlo raaddamante akkada maatalu raatledu, telugu raaddamante adi kooda raatledu, gundenindaa prema gontu daati raavadam kashtame kaani maree inta kashtama... ento!!!!

I used to think loving yourself is like a sin, you need to love everyone else around you or at least show that you do not to be tagged selfish.. but my love, you need to love yourself first to be able to enjoy this world.    Love and respect yourself 'cos if you don't you cannot expect others to do the same to you. Rise in your own eyes to raise in other's.  Be confident about everything but just do not let it go to your head.  Find love in small things of life and they will keep you going no matter what.  Little desires, tiny pleasures give you the greatest and continuous joys of life.  Aim high, keep your focus at a level above what you are currently but do not forget to feel the moment.  Love everything and every one but do not have expectations on anything/one other than yourself... tamaraaku meeda neeti bottu antaare alaaaga.  Neeku cheppestunna kadaa nenu anni chestunnaana anukuntunnaav kadoo... ledu bangaaram, paatinchaka nenu pade badha neeku raakoodadu ani oka verri prayatnam.

These days I just seem to be barking at you that does not mean that I do not love you, it only means that I am a person with so many imperfections and not able to control my anger.  I feel terrible when I just yell at you and the only reason for that is you are the next most helpless person other than me in that particular situation and it is easier to vent it on you.  I know it is the worst form of an abuse I can subject you to.. I am working on it kid, just not getting there.. sorry with all my heart.  It is easier to preach as an outsider as to how not to raise voice in front of your kids, worse still on them.. yes, agreed but still that just is not an excuse!!  You are the most precious thing to me and no matter what might slip out of my mouth in anger and rage in my even though rare but i-don't-know-what-I-say bouts, it is not your fault and it is just my problem that I need to tackle.  You are loved just the same..

When I see you battle with your sickness, refusing not to take any medicines, it kind of kills me.  I know it is most certainly not easy for you, burning with fever, tearing your tiny inner organs with that damn dirty barking cough, puking your guts out literally not retaining anything in, it is like putting me through hell and trust me my love these are the times when WHY NOT ME comes in.  From a stage of why me??? bickering..  I am willing to bear it thousand times over if it soothes you, but my darling this is the reality of life and you need to fight your own battles.  I used to do wish your pains on me earlier but now I realize I must pray for you to have the strength to overcome the difficulties than not to have them at all.  If we need to bear the weight anyways  at any stage, even if it is a bit later rather than wishing off the weight I would wish for you to have broader shoulders and a greater strength to carry the burden and not feel the load.

I wish and hope you spread love and cheer everywhere you go always just the way you do now and you understand the power of giving.  Love yourself and not be ashamed of it.  Love everything that belongs to you with the same intensity and do not forget that every single things Universe has to offer you belongs to you.. the air, water, all the elements, life around you in all forms, breeds, species, shapes, sizes and colors.  You have an equal share with everyone else around you, use resources sparingly and caringly and send them forward the generation next.

Abbo chaala preaching aipoyindi kada.. mana bhashalo malli okasaari... nuvvante naakento ittam, nenu ninnu vadili ekkadiki vellanu, nee chuttoone, nee lone, nee tone eppudu untaanu bangaaram...ottesi cheptunnaa!!

Amma...

19 comments:

Radha said...

every time i read your letter to your kid.. i have tears in my eyes....love the way you put your love in words...

Sree said...

Each time I write one I end up crying too :).... daaniki nenu cheppukune answer prema ekkuvai kaaripotundi ;).

Gulabi said...

Very Heart touching Sree..after long time i m seeing your blog today....she will cherish this forever..

Renuka said...

Yet another touching letter Sree...Sreya will grow up to be such a human being, everyone around her just can't resist to shower love.

Lots of love to the kiddooo

Anu said...

Sree,

I was reading your blog and many past writings. I am speechless by your eloquence and the depth of your writings.
You are so expressive. Anni kallaku kattinatuga raastavu.

Sree, I request you to think about a career in writing. You will strike gold if you start writing short stories/novels.
Please think about it. All my love and blessings to the little one.
Anu

Anu said...

Sree,
This morning, I have been reading your blog and some past writings.
I am rendered speechless by your eloquence and the depth of your writings.
You are so expressive! Anni kallaku kattinatuga raastavu.
Sree, I request you to consider a writing fiction. You will strike gold if you start writing short stories/novels. Please think about it.
All my love and blesssings to the little one.
Anu

Apple said...

Moved beyond words :) Inkemee cheppalenu

Sireesha said...

"I just seem to be barking at you that does not mean that I do not love you, it only means that I am a person with so many imperfections and not able to control my anger. I feel terrible when I just yell at you and the only reason for that is you are the next most helpless person other than me in that particular situation and it is easier to vent it on you."

I can relate to the above too. The moment the angry words slip out of my mouth I realize my mistake - I'm taking advantage of his helplessness.

Rani said...

Wow great way to express your inner thoughts!

-jalaja

Gayathri Sadhu said...

I perfectly can relate to the love now.... expressed in a very eloquent way... good one Sree... loved it!!!

Kalpana said...

A letter filled with loads of love to the kiddo... :) Chala bagundi Sree. Reading this, I felt you grew up with Sreya darling. Life essence ni bhale muchchatagaa/baga cheppavu. Loved this post..
Sreya bangaram, ento nuvvu thwaragaa perigi amma raasina letters anni chadiveyali anipisthundi, malli peragataaniki thondara enduku... enjoy life as it is anipisthundi dear...
My Love to You Both. :)

Sree said...

Gulabi,

thank you so much.

Sree said...

Renu...

Thank you... why are you not blogging, miss your posts.

Sree said...

Annu,

Thank you so much for all the compliments and I will seriously cherish them...

writing fiction ante I will try some time... miles to go to go there.. but thanks for your belief.

Sree said...

Keerthi,

thank you .

Sree said...

Sireesha..

Anni telisi kooda we tend to lose it at times and that is the worst kadaa.. got to get a grip on emotions :(((.

Sree said...

Jalaja,

thank you for dropping by.. i like your blog too.. keep writing more often.

Sree said...

Thanks Gayathri...

Sree said...

kadaa naaku Sreya letter raastundantaava Kalpana..... but it a nice dream...

thanks for the blessings and love..

For Evil Eyes on LO