Foreword

There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

Ref: Chichkoo is what I lovingly call my daughter, kiddo my brother, amma and taatee my late maternal grandparents, and OA is the other adult in the family.

Search This Blog

Loading...

Jun 8, 2012

Craving, Confusion and Cowardice

God, I am craving some nice reads after so much of Junk that I read, at times I feel I should stop reading and give myself a break until I get some good reads but then kukka toka vankara typelo malli modalu :(.

Exercising, meditating, working a bit at home, some discipline in life minus my work life..

School time starts for the kid and I am yet undecided where to send her, not many options as to the syllabus it is going to be State as of now but which school... I actually want to send the kid to the local govt. school but there is so much of resistance and opposition considering the language and mannerisms the kid is going to pick up from there??  Trust me, I had been there and I know very well, how bad/mad it can get... Wish had some dedicated teachers to work on it.  I would still want to work it out... if I have my kid I would be more interested to work it around and make it good!!

Some times when I end up doing much against my wish, I really feel so hopeless and helpless... ededo cheseyyaali, uddarincheyyaali samaajaanni anesukotame kaani... nannu nenu uddarinchukovaali ani gattigaa anukonu...why am I hesitating so much if that is what I really want to do.  Why is that I am still dilly-dallying and want to send her to the least of the worst options I have in front of me.  Why is education system so bad in India.. there is so much the govt. is providing us with and in the trickle-down corruption effect, we do not really see the implementation...

classes 1 to 5, 2 teachers... and at any given time, unless there is an inspection only one of them is present managing all the kids.

The kids sweep the class rooms and premises, help the midday meal contractor with washing dishes...

The language they speak, the lack of hygiene and everything...

Why do I not just begin my work here, what am I so afraid of or confused about... I am beginning to doubt if all I say is from my mouth and not from my heart, when it comes to my kid, why the hell am I not willing to experiment!!!!!!  I am certain if this happens, I would just move even hell or high water to make it good for her, then why not????

WHY NOT???

WHY DO I CHOOSE TO POINT THE FINGER AT MY MOTHER OR SOME XYZ WHO DOES NOT WANT THE KID THERE... Do I really want???

2 comments:

kiran said...

Mullapudi Venkata ramana gari kothi kommachi ...chadavandi .... Very good read ...

Radha said...

anthenandi.. mana pillalu anesariki aa feeling undatam sahajam.. but nizamga meeru aa atmosphere ni maarchaali anukunte mee pillani daanilo cherpinche maarchakkarledu kada.. u join her somewhere else where there is better atmosphere. Somebody like school officials and the village people ni consult chesi andaru kalisi edaina change theesukuraavachu school atmosphere lo.

For Evil Eyes on LO