Foreword

There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

Ref: Chichkoo is what I lovingly call my daughter, kiddo my brother, amma and taatee my late maternal grandparents, and OA is the other adult in the family.

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Apr 30, 2012

The Thorn Birds - Colleen McCullough

One of the very fine reads in my lifetime, something I thoroughly enjoyed reading, good narrative, easily considered epic by my standards.  Love, pain, sacrifice, life in general is written really really well.

Reminding me somehow of Gone with the Wind though both of them have really nothing in common, this book made me sit back and finish from cover to cover without wanting to put it down.

The tale about Cleary women, their love, their life, their passion and the lack of it... Ralph, his being torn between Church and his love, what wins and how life turns, really a binding narrative..

Enjoyed every bit of it!

Apr 29, 2012

Hothon Se Choolo Tum

Singer:  Jagjit Singh
Movie:  Prem Geet

Hoton se choolo tum, mera geet amar kardo
Banjao meet mere, mera preet amar kardo -2-

Naa Umrki seema ho
Naa Janmka ho bandhan -2-

Jab pyar kare koi
to dekhe keval mann
nayi reet chaala kar tum
yeh reet amar kadro -2-

Aakaash ka soonaapan
mere tanhaa mann mein

payal channkaati tum
aa jao jeevan mein
Saansen dekar apni
Sangeet amar kardo
Sangeet amar kardo
mera geet amar kardo

Jagne cheena mujhse
mujhejo bhi lagaa pyaara -2-
Sab jeeta kiye mujhse
mein har dam hi haara
tum haarke dil apnaa 
meri jeet amar kardo


Wow!!!!


Listen Here


Happened to watch a program in memory of Jagjit Singh, one singer who has seen me through my blues and never fails to do so ever after he longer treads this earth... a lot of singers come together to give voice to his gazals... it was good reliving those moments and listening to those songs but only he and he has that heeling and soothing quality...

Miss you JS and thanks for everything..

Sudden Downpour..

Today there was unexpected rain at our place, after quite some time.. my first feeling when I saw the first cloud... God...not again a few drops of rain and then the unbearable heat.. then a few drops and yeh dil maange more, want a full-fledged rain.. Rain it did and what a rain it was ... urumulu pidugulu merupulu... gandaragolam, beebatsam.

I was in a happy that the plants will get a much needed wash but at the same time worried about mango gardens.. well, that is how the nature works, unpredictably!

I have been a little worried about the dust on the leaves for lack of rain for a while around me... then I happened go to the town to see that I dont really see much trees and those I see I hardly recognize with all the soot that settled on them due to traffic...

and then I suddenly realize as the downpour continues and the trees start looking really fresh and green and lovely swaying happily.. HOW LUCKY I AM TO BE ABLE TO BE HERE in the formative years of the kid, away from dirt, soot, pollution in the middle of so much of greenery and lots and lots of time...

counting my blessings as I munch on some French Fries that I made for this weather..!

Apr 28, 2012

Son's Shine.... Grrrr...

Ivvaala poddunna ooranta tapaakaayalu, avvaayi suvvayilu, band melam, mike set esukuni ooregumpu gandaralogolam emayyuntundaa ante Jagan and Radhakrishna kalisi meet anta daaniki oorlo pelliki kukkala hadaavudi typelo janaalni pogesukelledam annamaata...

roju kooli icchi, tindi petti, taagaboyinchi, bandlu kattinchi.. antanta kharchulu petti teesukellatam... erri gorrelu eellu egesukuni ellatam...GRRRRRRR.... monneppudo odaarpu annaadu ade scenu, janaalni tolukelladam, bandela dodloki gedalani teesukellinatlu, endukeltunnaro teliyadu, dabbulistunnaayi ante.. Grr....

ayyo, asalu mee naayana poyina timelo vaallu poyaaru ani tappa dooram dooram daaka chaavuki YSki sambandam ledu ani okkadu cheppina paapaana podu.. Jai Jagan, Jai Jagan antaaru..

Oorantaa dochi dobbukocchi intlo daachukunnaaru chanipoyina tandri, bratikunna koduku allullu ani sakshyaalato sahaa choopistoo mottukuntunnaa.. eeyana gaari joru enta maatram taggadu... adi manam vini choosi TVlo tarinchadam.. chee edava batuku ani chaala saaarlu anukunnaa ivvaala..

Politics ante burada goyyi anukunevvaallu chaala mandi unnaaru adi murugudu goyyi aipoyi chaaala rojulayipoyindi... abbadam ammudupotundi nijam nissabdamgaa eppudu evadu bayatapedataada ani choostoo untundi...

Tandrulu chimpesaaru ippudu kodukulu kalisi podichestaaru... Grrrrr... Grrrr...


Apr 27, 2012

Dhyeyam - Yandamoori Veerendranath

A good read... a work of fiction tackling issues in parenting, a subtle educative attempt at different parenting styles..

I wonder why people are so against YV, calling him unsocial, copy cat... whatever he is, he says he draws inspiration, he has been giving away where the thought has come from for his writings and in deed he does a really great job of whatever he does, he excels the original, makes stuff interesting.

In fact, I have been in kind of state of inertia of reading for a while, which was kick started by this book, kind of rusted my need to read bone in me and yes am back to reading once again.

He is one of my favorite writers, an entertainer in true sense...

Done With the Lot

Hammayya...finished all the movies in my to-watch list..

Dirty Picture
I do not really know how far it is true, who the reel characters are in real life... whether it is the story of Silk Smitha in real or not..all hoo haa about Vidya Balan, her putting on weight, slutty act, the hype about it and the latest controversy of airing it on TV, nothing really made me like this movie..Vidya did something out of routine.  True, that is the fate of many people in the industry, by and large there are certain facts portrayed.... to me the movie was done in bad taste!

Three
A really bold attempt by Aishwarya for her debut movie, out of the norm movie, konchem drag ayinattu anipinchindi at times but covering a psychological condition and portraying a different angle of love, though unreasonable to the viewer, could very well be true...a very good attempt.  Sruthi and Dhanush suited the roles to the T.. could not have visualized any other... will watch out for more from her.

Lovely
A feel good movie.. voice reminded me of his father, Adi is a good performer, father daughter love angle beaten to death concept, treatment is not really now but okay can watch once.

Raccha
Okay movie, logicless mindless chiru family fan catering movie.. disappointment from Charan yet again.. Tamanna, well I kind of am having overdose of her maybe... but could not really take to her acting or looks in this movie..

Hammayya... anni ayipoyiniyyi... ippudu Dammu kosam waiting... first day first show enda debbaki dadisi ellaledu kaani okasaari choosi paareste potundi kadaa :).

Apr 26, 2012

Thoughts/Thoughtlessness


Thoughts/thoughtlessness
there are a lot of things that determine the efficiency of your dhyaana or the quality of dhyaana...

The food you eat... easily digestable, less oil and unprocessed food tinna rojuna you will notice that you fare better..
The thoughts you have had throughout the day previously... like if you indulge in gossipping, some unpleasant conversations, saw/spoke/heard something unacceptable consciously/subconsciously
Your physical well being... 

Thoughts keep coming all the times but what happens eventually by practising dhyaana is that the bombardment gradually comes down... attaining thoughtless state is like nirvana but what happens when you try to cut down the racing thoughts is that you have a pattern established, things do not bother you as much, everything seems to be falling in place, you will realize your ability to reason good from bad, what to take to heart and what to leave.. when to take and when to leave...  the questions that we have been having since long kind of get answered from nowhere.. the energy that we otherwise used to put in thinking about EVERYTHING ELSE EXCEPT US.. gets channelized for ourselves and we get refreshed.

like everything else, it does not come easy.. 

We have to stop making excuses of lack of time... time does not wait for us we need to grab some of it before it is gone forever... it is like this.. we are alive because we are breathing, the moment it stops we are no longer the I, ME, MYSELF... that we are running after... 

Swaasa Unte Sivam adi leni naadu Savam.. alaanti swaasa meeda dhyaasa petti manaloki manam velli konchem sepu time spend cheyyalemaa...????

Please think it through friends... chaala mandiki deeni importance teliyaka cheyyatam ledu.. telisina manam edo kaaranaalu vetukutunnaam... evaro manani niladeeyadam kaadu manani manam niladeesukunna roju, mana swaasa meeda manam dhyaasa petti, mana manasu, sareeram manaki emi cheptundi ani vinna rojuna manaki kalige pleasure is uncomparable to anything else in the world...

Good luck... Please please please SPARE TIME FOR YOURSELF.

Dhyaana - My Perspective

Actually the content here is copy and paste from what I had written earlier in a forum... just thought of posting it here for my personal reference.

There was a very valid and thought provoking question from a friend to which I had responded through experience.

There was a post from you that meditation helps you calm your mind when you see things wrong and cant also correct it...nenu konchem mind paducheskuntanu when i see people telling lies and break trust all the time...is meditation only the solution to this? is there no other way to deal with people like this, manam meditate chesi just let go cheyala prati sari? i am desperately looking for answer to these questions...any advice or tips would be of great help!

I guess as ordinary human beings we just tend to get irritated with so much of negativity and planning and plotting at the verge of shameless by people around us, some in the family, some in friends, relatives... blood boil aipotundi okkosaari, kottalem kaani viragotteseyyaali ani kooda anipinchedi naakaite, nelakesi badesi...

No meditation is not an instant solution to each and every problem or each and every such instance... In stead, what meditation in true sense does is enable to see yourself from within, cleanse yourself, purify your own thoughts, dissociate yourself from the mud and malice around you, clear your thoughts and makes you strong from within, i wont say you will get immune day 1, 2, 3 in your 5 to 10 minute stints that you give yourself in 24 hours that God has given us but it slowly paves a way for you to want more of yourself and less from others.  You are on your way to attain peace of mind, the journey has just begun ani.

If we handle meditation as something to clear your clutter for the day, okay it is for the starters but the eventual goal is to see that you do not gather any clutter at any point... sariggaa cheppaano ledo teliyatledu, sariggaa saadhana cheste, asalu meelo kaani mee chuttoo kaani chedu aalochanalu, bhaavaalu anevi perukokundaane undagalugutaaru, eventually.. but like they say daaniki chaala chaala saadhana kaavaali to begin with number of years and number of minutes target pettukondi.. i am going to be 33 so I do around 33 minutes, alaaga... spending time within yourself is the essence of meditation.

Time dorakatledu anukodam manalni manam mosam chesukodame... anni gantalu anni nimishaallo kevalam konni nimishaalu manaki manam ketaayinchukolemu anedi nijamgaa jarigite, life mana controllo ledu manam daani control lo unnaam ane fact manaki artham aipotundi.. ee chinna vishayam aalochiste kanaka things will fall into place in a very rapid manner!!!

Coming to the way, we tackle those people ante.

No one can change the way the other person is thinking or doing or saying.. okko saari manaki manameede control undadu but we conveniently blame others for our lack of self control, vaadu chesina pani moolaana kopam vacchindi, vaadu anna maatalaki hurt ayyanu, vaadu alaantivaadu, vaadu nannu nammaka droham chesaadu, vaadini nenu nammaanu ivanni manaki manam erpaatu chesukunna convenient thoughts... agreed that particular person has x,y,z negativity but he is just doing them and leaving them and we are carrying them in our mind for quite a lot more time.

Putting yourself in their shoes and thinking also does not help, why waste even a single moment thinking about them... mana jeevitamlo manaki ento precious time malli tirigi raanidi ilaanti useless fellowski dedicate cheyyatam avasaramaa ani okka alochana annitiki full stop pettestundi.

Ivanni eppudo okappudu manaki artham ayyeve, ledante evaro okaru manaki cheppeve but evaro chepte manam accept cheyyalem, ilaa meditationloki vellinappudu, vaddu anukuntunna manaki vacche thoughts cut off aipoyinaaka manaki vacche realizationlo ninchi vacche result idi.. denikaina sare solution manalone untundi.. nuvvu devudu anedi enta nijamo edutivaadilonu ade devudu unnaadu vaadu realize avvatledu, nuvvu realize ayyaavu kadaa ade treatment vaadiki ivvu ani telusukunna rojuna naa problems sagam teeripoyaayi.

If we send out some energy into the universe, it will bounce back to you million times.. so send only positive vibes.. nenu positivegaa unnaanu avatali vaallu negativegaa unnaaru antey, our positive energy is just not enough ani artham chesukondi, mee positivityni meeru underestimate chesukokandi, eventually avatali vaadu has to give way to you... you are not bothering ante no one will dare to come near you... emi farak padutundi annatu.. care a damn annattu untoo.. mimmalni meeru strong chesukondi.. meeru cheppakarledu ani avatali vaallaki artham ayipotundi... So make yourself strong.

Daaniki vere solutions undocchu but naaku telisindi, tochindi... workout ayyindi meditation... there is an answer to everything and the best thing is you do not even have to wait till the question presents itself... meeku question kante mundare answer telisipotundi...

boledu sodi cheppaaanu kada.. but naaku inta relief icchina meditation gurinchi enta cheppinaa enta mandiki cheppinaa takkuve... I just am sending positive energy into the universe :)))) ani gaaaaaaaaaaattttttiii nammaakam...

Please do it more often, regularly and be happy!

PS:
Abbo, malli chadutunte naaku nene bhale muddocchesaanu :)... anyways, dhyanam effectlo unnanta kaalam enchakka cartoonslono cinemallono choopinchinattu naa netti chuttu oka positive halo untundi ani baaaaaaaaaaaga artham ayyindi chaala rojula taravata ee post chadivite.

Dhyana and First Timers


When you are doing Dhyana for the first time, pick up one technique.. choose from the available multiple options and stick on to it. If it is guided meditation, has some kind of a breathing technique associated with it or some chant to go with it, it is always advised that you get that from a guru or a person who practices it for quite some time.

If any yoga or meditation center is close by, you can take that opportunity to get that information under proper supervision. If in case, for people like me who cannot for any reason gain access to proper gurus, I would suggest this Swasa Meeda Dhyaasa.. because there is nothing you do here.. not even breathe deep or in a particular order.. it is just that you shut everything else by closing your eyes and open your soul and listen to that very natural process of your own breathing, something that you have been doing from the time you were born... not even the thoughts of if you are breathing right or not... and let your mind and soul guide you.

Whatever be the technique selected, its ultimate goal is to find answers from within... Good luck, pick whatever suits you the best.. my point is do not leave it, hold on to it till the very end...

Dhyana During Period/Cycle
Yoga cheyyakoodadu ani cheptaaru kaani, this Swasa meeda Dhyasa type of meditation can be done in any which form in any which position at any which place.. just close your eyes, cross your fingers and feet and take relaxed position and carry on.

 Even during your period or in journey, before going to sleep, just after waking up from sleep, short gaps between work, anytime!!! ... but immediately after a heavy meal ante it will become sleep more than Dhyaana, so a gap of minimum 1 hour after full meal and min 1/2 hr before light meal is better, so that it does not actually become sleep.

Dhyaana is a state of zero or doing nothing, thinking nothing with your complete knowledge and conscious.. when you lose the conscious, it becomes sleep.
well I am not ready for this yet ante, all I can say is it is never too early to start.. we are talking about some dhyaana to attain moksha or whatever, we are talking about recharging ourselves on a day to day basis.. we get adequate rest in our sleep and gather energy for the next day's tasks or store those reserves for maybe a couple of days but doing dhyaana, meditation is like recharging and invigorating self.. especially for moms with kids... trust me it helps a lot!!!!!!!


Swasa Meeda Dhyaasa For Beginners
Thoughts vaste vaatini cut chestoo, oka comfortable positionlo feet and hands fingers fold chesi... crossing your hands and feet, so that whole bodylo generate ayye energy becomes an aura around you.. sit on a chair or squat on the floor.. sleep on the bed.. feet kaalla meeda vesukuni, chetulu potta meeda pettukuni, kallu moosukuni swasa flowni.. inhale and exhale ni observe cheyyatame ee SMD. Consciousgaa effort petti pattern of breathing cheyyadam like Pranayama kaadu.. just meeru normalgaa meeku teliyakunda teesukune breathni observe chestoo undatame..

indulo you dont take help of any chant.. just pure silence from within, thoughts will come, especially in the initial phases.. pantam kosam aina ekkuvaga vacchi they clutter your mind but keep at it.. cut the thoughts when you realize the process.. just let the flow go... but consciousgaa try to cut the thoughts.. it is as simple as that... if you go to sleep doing that is okay.. but for conscious meditation, after you finish the meditation, dont open your eyes just like that... close your eyes with both your palms.. do not rub the palms, slowly open the eyes after a count down of 5 and clap your hands at the end of it, so that the energy generated gets distributed through your finger tips which have very important nerve ends!!

Good luck.... it seems simple, is simple but has enormous results...!!


Start slowly... spend some time for yourself everyday... a few minutes in 24 hours for your VERY OWN SELF...... body total fatigue aipoyaaka charge cheyyadaaniki inkaa energy reserves migili unnappude cheyyadaaniki chaala difference telustundi meeku.. would be glad if you start spending some time within yourself.

Lessons in Dhyaana

Dhyaanam ante manam prastutam unna sthithi ninchi unnata stithiki cherukovadam.

Ananthamaina viswa sakti ninchi manaki kaavalasinatuvanti praana saktini gather chesukovadam anedi routine activity of life, nidra pote saripotundi kaani telisi telisi manam konchem time spend chesi conscious mind toti silence invite cheste results will be excellent.

The Katte, Kotte, Tecche Logic
Katte - Sareeram ni, notini kattesukuni
Kotte - Alochanalani kottesi
Tecche - Gnaanam valle paripoorna aanandaanni tecchukovadam.

I am truly enjoying these sessions, I would be glad if I can make any one of you sit for a while, a few minutes and experience the magic.

The thing I like about this Swasa meeda dhyaasa is that we have questions, pose them to ourselves and get the answers from within... otherwise there are some masters who guide us, you get in touch with them in your society or they say that meditate and you will answers in that process. When you are meditating there is an aura of positivity around you and that there are 2 astral masters guiding you through that process, you cant see them but you can feel them. I did not get that feel maybe because when i am doing this I am doing it in a group and when I do it alone I am comfortable with the silence and not seeking any answers as of now... So, try being in silence... there is no mantra chanting, no guropadesa to be done.. it is just looking within, spending time within yourself, focusing on breathing and gradually even losing focus on that breathing and come to a zero state, gradually but certainly...

Deho Devaalayo Prokto Jeevo Devo Sanatana

Our body is a temple and the soul in it is the God... why ignore something that God has made for himself and run after something that is man made.. An idol in the temple is made by a man out of a stone, not every stone becomes an idol and not even after sculpting the idol does it become holy, it is a man/human who does "praana pratishta" to that idol.. true, the divine power does it through the man but even the supreme needs a human body to perform that, such is the power of our body and soul and thoughts that it creates a god and creates a universe.. why run after such idols when the true form is within us.. ... andariki sreehare antaraatmaa... antar aatma --- manalo unna aatma, aa aatme paramaatma... neelonu, naa lonu, srushtiloni prati manisholu undi ade antaraatma.. adi telusukune maargam dhyaanam... dhyaanamokkate...


Appo Deepo Bhava


Supposedly they last utterance of Buddha to his disciple Ananda when he was leaving his physical form... Be a light for yourself, nobody can do that for you!!! Find the happiness from within.








Meditation and Me...

I have been through various forms of meditation either through a guru or through a friend

Art of Living - Pranayama and kriyas.
Isha - Kriya through chant of a-u-m.
Pyramid Dhyana - Swasa meeda Dhyaasa..

There has been a pyramid dhyana camp in the village a while ago which I attended and now there is a 40-day workshop between 2 and 4 p.m. which has masters coming over for lectures and then some dhyaana sessions in between, loving the experience and want to share what I am learning there... I am sure a lot of you must have had some experience with meditation, pls. do share them for greater good.


The one I am practicing right now is 

"swasa meeda dhyaasa" sit in any posture, squatted in padmasana or in a chair, keep the legs crossed and fingers of both hands criss-crossed and in your lap, close your eyes and just focus on our breath.. inhale, exhale and total silence within.. thoughts will come cut them.. the silence between the thoughts or the gap between the thoughts is the actual dhyana.. cut the thought as it comes, focus on breath.. gradually the thoughts go down and silence increases..

Minimum time to spend is the number of years of your age.. eg. i am 33, so 33 minutes of observing dhyana..

It is helping me a lot.. for the first time in a couple of years, I was able to take deep breath without coughing within just 3 days, so I am recommending this to you all... 

not just this any form of meditation, does good for you.. 


What I am liking the best about this routine is that I get to listen to a few of the practicing masters who make an effort to come down and clear our doubts regarding meditation or anything in general or in specific. I get to learn a lot of stuff and get answers for a whole lot of questions, it is like taking away my inner struggle a lot better than anything else in the recent past.

I had so many questions as to why this, why that.. why am i the way that I actually am and all that stuff, that inner struggle not able to fit in among the people around me, that fight putting up with so many people.. no one could give me an apt answer or nothing that really gave me satisfaction.. I liked the expln. below

I keep saying i dont act, I am being myself, I am always struggling not to fit and mould things according to me.. but the thing is I need not act but I can learn to love, keep the negativity aside, if i think the relationships are all about acting and I am resisting that acting and there by being straight forward or whatever, it is in no way helping lessen my aggression or distress.. one point is why do I need to act, why cant i really love, why cant I be the beginning of the feeling that I want to get..


There has been a tremendous change in my outlook, health and a lot more things in life. I am a lot more positive to begin with.. I handle stress better... I find answers to my questions within myself...

Apr 16, 2012

Back to Back Movies...

Am yet again on another break from work due to some health issues that are out of my control... i.e., a bout of shingles, extremely painful but thank God (touchwood) the kid did not catch it, the vaccine seems to have worked just fine for her!!

So, I have been watching movies to keep me distracted, not really enjoying reading... some block there has been!!!... maa dabbalo vacchinavi vacchinattu choodatam maatram baagundi.

Kurraalloy Kurraallu
Starring Samantha and Adharva (Hrudayam Murali's son) this is one sensible and sensitive movie, not a rosy romance but near real life characterization of a boy next door crazy about flying kites, Rajnikanth.. a good friend and a sincere youth who unknowingly gets to witness the murder of an influential politician by mistake and how events lead to his tragic death.  Samantha is good and guy portrayed the role subtly..

Ee rojullo
Small budget films with sensible story line are really doing a great job these days with the characters being highlighted and not the artist donning them.  Starring Reshma and Srinivas deals with the friendships, love, affairs and trends in youth these days, the high paid jobs, the easy life, the choices in front of them, how good or bad they are for each person... sensitive story line and a sensible portrayal.. loved the song ring..tring... ee rojullo :).. a contemporary storyline well handled with almost entirely new casting, refreshing!  Another RGV inspired class of film maker doling out good stuff, will watch out for more from Maruthi.

Love Failure
Again an experimental movie and thank God, Siddharth got it right this time.. Love Amala Paul who looks like Deepika and Priyanka Chopra mix but lovely :) and the pairing is good.  Sid does not really look old for portraying college going guy and so pairing is perfect.  Loosely based on the concept of Men are From Mars and Women are From Venus, a different take of the movie, a different narrative style like interacting exclusively with the audience to the camera by Sid is kind of new and different and the best thing I liked about the movie is that the maker stuck to the concept and no frills or extras to deviate from it... Finally a good movie from Sid and again sensible movie making in a very low budget, win-win formula!!

Ishq
PHEW!!! Finally one movie starring Nitin which I could actually sit through completely.. God, don't this guy or the producers/directors get tired of making those dumb movies with him??? I would not have dared to watch the movie but for a positive review from Keerthi.   no extreme mindless violence, Nitya Menon, I fell in love with her in this movie, she is expressive, good to look at and a no-nonsense performer.  A spoilt brat son of a police commissioner thrown out of the family for his violent attitude, Ajay the brother of Nitya tries to get back to the family by behaving as though he had changed when he has not actually, how the hero who meets Nitya accidentally falls for her and realizes that she is the sister of the guy who was behind his sister who kind of scared her.. how he manages to please the parents and bring about a change in the brother and ends the story happily is the basic story line... Good movie, can watch once without wincing or getting bored for me..

Poola Rangadu
But for the six pack of Sunil, undoubtedly a result of extreme hard work, this movie kind of seemed to be a different version of Maryada Ramanna, fighting relatives behind his life, how Sunil tries to mask his real identity and tries to get back the hard earned money of his parents saved for his sister's wedding that he has invested unknowingly in a disputed land.. can watch once!

Mr. Nookayya
The one movie that I hated the most in recent times is this one.. eewww... eeks.. story line is good, the concept is good but everything seemed to be dragging and this is one movie I wanted to kind of rush out of the theater even before the interval, second half at least I could manage but first half was such a pain.  I really admire Manoj and look out for his ventures as they do make sense, I really am not sure what went wrong where but this is something we can watch in a fast forward mode.. and like Kajal who seems to be getting uglier looks with each movie, Manoj just looks so ouuchhhh...

Naa Ishtam
Another RGV inspired movie, storyline and even the title :)... Rana tries to dance, looks like a huge rugby player jumping around mindlessly, I do not really find it cute but the strong point is his voice modulation and language flow.  Story about a guy who is mindlessly selfish but with a good heart, who thinks what comes to his mind first is just HIM and nobody else and keeps repeating it time and again.  Genelia's trademark role which she just carries off with ease... can watch just once!!!



Apr 5, 2012

Loads of life and a lots of nautanki.. that is me!!!


I do not read as much these days, looks like this extend break from work and freelancing is taking its toll on me and I do better and gather a lot more of actual life on the days I actually have more to do..!!

I was not in a mood to read a book but just wanted to get a break from the monotonous cooking and cleaning that I seem to be doing these days... YES.. i crib a lot  and that too with so much help and a cooperative kid, but kya kare being the Drama Queen I am the nautanki just does not stop.

So, what have I been doing all this while... nothing basically, cooking 3 meals seeing to it that the daughter gets wholesome nutrition in what little goes down her throat, shouting, screaming (both happy and angry), roaming, lazing.  Cooking is something I thought I would never get back to but mom not being around and the kid being a fussy eater.. err almost bordering non-eater category rather, I had to get back and come to think of it under normal setting I would really enjoy cooking and if it is the daughter helping me out with the chores I enjoy it all the more.

We have been visiting the birds in Kolleru bird sanctuary, a nice view with very less walking, pleasant and small place, kid having fun watching fish, birds, worms, boat and and just being happy... watching a few movies in between... gaining the stamina, basically moving towards a healthy lifestyle and not the sedentary one I kind of got used to.  The kid's needs are growing and she needs more attention which I am guilty of not giving but again I do not really want to get more attached to her and vice versa 'cos she needs to start the school this coming academic year.. am in two minds whether give her the best of "us time" in these last few carefree days or get her used to it with others right from now.. confused, a bundle of contradictory thoughts that I keep having all the time sigh..


Trying to be a vegetarian for some time now, Dhyana has been a welcome change in my life, a lot of positivity, good health and above all an answer to a million formed and unformed questions within me...

so many changes about to happen in the coming months, not really sure if i can continue staying in my security cocoon in this village keeping in view the growing social and education needs of the kid or take a little longer to get into the concrete jungle... so many decisions that need to be taken ASAP but that I would kind of not even want to think of, so need to shake myself off the slumber, clean up the rusted self and get back to normalcy.

Job front things are same, need to force myself still to get to work... extended break is kind of overdone...

so basically LAZY is what I have been in quite some time.. CRAZY i always am ;).





The Secrets She Keeps - Helen Cross

I was basically not in a mood or did not have enough time to enjoy reading but just went about reading because I wanted to... it is about the lonely life of a rich porn star who moves to a very remote shabby place in British suburbs with a newborn and a boy, a kid of her ex-boyfriend from a different woman, there comes a male nanny to care of them all with so many issues, so many secrets, so much going on which he does not understand.  It is about the dark lives of the celebrities, how much they need to give up to be what they are, the cost of being in the limelight, the whirlpool they get stuck in.. nothing left in life except money, money and more money.

a tale woven around the panic, paranoia, mania everything that is there in lives of celebrities and aspirants... kind of lets one ponder if it is worth it...

It would have been a great read to me had I been in a good read read mood..

The Secret Life of Evie Hamilton - Catherine Alliott

An easy breezy read which deals about the very delicate balance of life and emotions when a sudden secret unviels itself in a happily married life.. kind of stepmom story but here wife is totally unaware of the presence of another woman let alone her kid, how this secret uproots the foundation of a strong marriage, how they come to terms with it and get going with the life, the ups and downs in between.

What I really loved about this book is the sensible character establishment, working on deep emotions, fears insecurities giving words to the deepest sensitivities..

An accomplished academician with a teenage daughter who shares his interests in literature and a wife who is from a suburban farm background who thinks very low of herself and her strengths fighting her own demons of being misfit in that backdrop suddenly realizes that the husband had a one-night fling and now a teenager about 17, claiming to be his daughter wants to meet him.  Caught unaware the couple decides to take it head on and the friction, the pain, the decision to go meet them and an unexpected twist where the other woman actually is told that she has terminal cancer and that is the reason they come back to his life to give her daughter the support to move on after her.. deeply moving interwoven with a lot of other tales, dealt around relationships...

great read for me

Marana Mrugangam - Yandamoori Veerendranath

Finished this book a while ago.. i think I remember a movie by this name, some Chiru movie or maybe I am just dreaming but Marana Mrudangam sounds familiar.

yet another masala movie type of story, though the story is entirely a work of fiction as usual there are some points which kind of make us thinking, loop holes of the system, corruption, crime..

The genius and clever plotting of the 2 protagonists, in general makes a trademark YVN novel, a good quick paced read.


For Evil Eyes on LO