Foreword

There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Feb 7, 2013

Picchi Kopam

Naalo nenu maarchukovaali anukunedi, maarchukokundaa undatam chaala better anukunedi koodaa kopame... adi deggarundi choosina vaallaki telustundi, alaanti ilaanti kopam kaadu ani.. picchi kopam, picchi balam vacchestundi... enta ante aa arupulaki rendu moodu rojulu neerasa padipoyenta... anta chetu chestundi ani telisinaa aa kshanamlo aapukoleni kasi... aapi aapi uggabattukuni oke saari kakkese visham anipistundi venakki tirigi choosukunte.. daani moolaana emocchindi naaku ante, emi ledu ontiki aayasam, ontlo rogam tappa... nannu nene maarchukolenappude evaro maarataaru ani enduku, edi maaradu ani telisi telisi enduku aa paityam anedi artham kanuka aite, adi aacharincheste nenu mahaa maneeshi aipotaanemo..!

I think I subconsciously search for a person to divert my anger on, maybe yes or maybe not... it is easier to put that blame on others right!  Okay, that person is not right, then who the hell is asking you to sit up and take notice and judge and then rant and ramble and burst out eventually and if that person is wrong, it is he/she who will face the consequences, why do I have to set about to set them straight, who the hell am I?

Maa ammamma okati antoo undedi elika ekkirinchindi ani illu tagalettukuntaamaa enti ani?  How true is it?  My insecurities, my fears and my thoughts on those crazy things make me go berserk at times, why do I let other's gain that control over me and where the hell is the real me.. the one who shouts her lungs out is not the actual me... I regret it the moment I do it but I end up doing it...

well, I did not do anything of that sort of late but it is something that has been on my mind for a while, what I had done and why I reacted the way I did and what is in it..

 ee jeevitam oka kshanamlo emi jarigipotundo teliyani maaya daani kosam inta taapatrayam, moham avasaramaa...

OA and me had our fights, got our lives apart sticking to them and in the end of it all, the one thing that we cherish the most is being together, as a stable unit called family, providing the kid what we craved for the most.  It would have been the same with our parents too, maybe they had something for us in their minds, they certainly have accommodated us in their lives for so long and they still do.  How easy/hard is it to break ties with our siblings, parents just because we tend to disagree with what they might feel or do not want to live the way they want us to lead our lives?

A good support system is all that we crave for, supporting us in whatever we do, so they must be expecting the same from us?  but at what cost??... when a person is hell bent on ruining his/her life, taking ours down with them, how far can we extend a helping hand, no matter how close he/she is.

Love, hate, anger, sadness, tears.. is this what the whole kinship comes to a halt at?...

thoughts sort out chesukovaali ani chaala alochistoo, eto oka kotta komma pattukuni atu dookeyyadam ee picchi manasuki alavaate kaabatti, aa picchi kopam inkaa taggatledu anukovaalaa??...

4 comments:

Kranthi said...

Hey....

Quite natural problem.isnt it???

okay...You love reading books anyways...so try Giddu Krishnamurthy.... Give it a try..

sorry for suggesting !!!
-K

Sree said...

Yeah Kranthi, a quite natural one but it is kind of draining me a lot these days, blame the age maybe :)..

I will definitely give them a try, got a few back in India, chadavaka munde ikkadiki vacchesaa, will see if I can find something in the library..

endukandi sorry, thanks for suggesting.

Kalpana said...

Anger is just igniting based on past experiences raa.. I don't know what you went through recently but I can understand that there is lot of pain left within you that is playing a vital role. Please release that.. That's the best gift you can give to yourself... It's possible dear and you can do it. Try Isha Inner Engineering, it definitely helps. It is helping me. Take care.

Sree said...

Hey Caps... very true...

Naaku US vacchinaaka inkaaa ee kopam raaledu but I was thinking about the last few days there... aa kopam annamaata, trying to find answers... yeah, kopam ekkuva sepu carry forward cheyyalenu nenu and it is showing on my health, at least that way I should be cautious!

For Evil Eyes on LO