Foreword

There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Jul 29, 2013

Tellaarindi Legando...

Movie : Kallu
Lyrics/Singer - Sirivennela

There is something in Sirivennala's voice, maybe that raw emotion which comes after struggling with putting the feelings into words, the deep anguish, anger or whatever, which comes back to us in a disturbingly haunting way... just loved it.

Tellaarindi legando kokkorokko
manchaalinka digando kokkorokko

Paamulaanti seekati padagadinchi poyindi
bhayam nedu bhayam nedu nidura musugu teeyandi
saavu laati raatiri sooru daati poyindi bhayam nedu bhayam nedu saapalu sutteyyandi
mudusukunna rekkalidisi pitta chettu idisindi
moosukunna reppalirisi supulegaraniyyandi

Suruku taggipoyindi chandurudi kantiki
sulakanipoyindi lokam seekatiki
kunuku vachhi toogindi sallabadda deepam
yenaka rechhipoyindi allukunna paapam
masaka baaripoyindaa suse kannu
musurukodaa maikam mannu minnu
kaalam kattina ganthalu teesi kaantula yelluva gantulu yesi

Yekkirinchu reyini soosi yerrabadda aakasam
yekku petti isirindaa sureedi soopula baanam
kaali boodidaipodaa kammukunna needa
oopirito nilabaduthundaaa sikkani paapaala seeda
semata bottu samuruga sureedni yeligiddam
yelugu settu kommallo aggipoolu pooyiddaam
vekuva saktula kattulu doosi retiri mattunu mukkalu sesi

tellaarindi legando....

naatugaa raasinaa neetugaa raasinaa bulli bulli maatallo boledanta saaram.

It goes on to say the impact he has on me, it is 1 a.m. and I am still listening and typing and in a different world altogether..

parugaapaka payaninchave talapula naava

Siva poojaku chivurinchina sirisiri muvva, sirisiri muvva, sirisiri muvva
mrudu manjula padamanjari poochina puvva
yathiraajuku jatiswaramula parimalamivva
natanaanjalito bratukunu tarinchaneevaa

parugaapaka payaninchave talapula naava
kerataalaku talavanchite taragadu trova
edurinchina sudigaalini jayinchinaava
madikorina madhuseemalu varinchiraava

Padamara padagalapai, merise taaralakai raatrini varinchake sandhya sundari
toorupu vedikapai vekuva narthakivai, dhaatrini muripinche kaantulu chindani
nee kadalaki chaitanyapu sreekaaram kaanee
nidurinchina hrudaya ravali omkaaram kaanee

Tana vaelle sankellai kadalaleni mokkalaa,
aamanikai eduruchoostu aagipoku ekkadaa
avadhileni andamundi, avaniki naludikkulaa
aandapu gaalivaalu nadapani ninnilaa
pratirojoka navageetika swaagatinchakaa
vennela kinnera gaanam neeku todugaa

Chalitacharana janitam nee sahaja vilaasam
jwalita kirana kalitam soundarya vikaasam
nee adhinaya ushodayam tilakinchina ravi nayanam
gaganasarasi hrudayamlo vikasita satadala sobhala suvarna kamalam

Strangely, like Sirivennela sir says, the girls lyrics are more inspiring than the guy's who actually is trying to dissuade the girl from running after mirages... I simply love this song and when the master says it took him around 15 days to pen the feelings, definitely and that effort pays off in the sense it is immortalized in the hearts of fans like me.



Adugadugunaa

I liked the lyrics of the guy in this song..

Movie:  Okkadunnaadu 
Lyrics:  Ananth Sriram

Adugadugunaa padipoyinaa aage veellede parugu, 
korina teeraanne cherukunevaruku..

O nimushamainaa nidurapovaa nilavanive nireekshanamaa
ne vetukutunna edutupadave toli velugu teeramaa

adugadugunaa prati malupunaa roju naa vente padaku
vidavani pantamugaa naa praanam tinaku

nee kalalavente kadalamante kudurtundaa ayomayama
naa digulu mante tagulutunte ragalavem kaalamaa




Jul 28, 2013

Nuvvevaraina Nenevarainaa

Do not actually know the movie but once again, it is the first time I heard Sirivennela sir singing in the Open heart and yes, it left me wanting for more... and no need to say, I love the song better in his voice..

Nuvvevarainaa nenevarainaa nee naa navvula rangokate
ooredaina peredainaa mana oopiri geetam okate
alalannitiki kadalokate, nadulannitiki neerokate
manasu tadiste nee naa chempalu nimire vecchani kanneerokate

ae desam vaariki ainaa, ila okate gaganam okate
ae bhaashalu palikistunnaa gontula swara tantrulu okate
aahaaram vere ainaa andari aakali okate
aakaaram vere ainaa aadhaaram bratukokate
ninnu nannu kannappudu mana tallula noppula teerokate
enno rangula tellakiranamai, velugutunna jeevitamokate

ae roopam choopedutunna uli kadalikalaku sila okate
ae raagam vinipistunnaa pillanagroviki gaalokate
nee naatyam peredainaa paadaalaku kalayika okate
ae praantamlo nuvvunna praanalaki viluvokate
neeku naaku andariki puttukato chuttarikam okate
nuvvu nenu vaaru veeru antaa kalisi manamokate


Jul 23, 2013

Movies... less

Of late, i have not watched much of movies and it is just a few here and there, completed the Grey's anatomy series, very interesting especially for the people connected to medical BPO, getting to see the procedures, organs doctors listening and seeing the terminology that they usually find in their files.. and add to it the yummy star-cast, super duper hit with me... McDreamy, McSteamy, McYummy :-p

and then the routine law and order, getting a peek here and there.. one movie that I had actually watched after quite some time is

Zindagi Naa Milega Dobaara
Liked the taking, shots, the unexplored locales, the adventure concept, the actors, everything... just enjoyed it thoroughly.

oopsie, forgot I got to watch Raanjhanaa too...
Well, awesome performance by Dhanush as expected, he fitted the role to T, good one again.

and on a sudden craving impulse I watched Paakeezah, the epic of the tragic queen, just plain awesome for those days, the dressing, the lifestyle, the re-creation of everything so authentically or at least I felt so, the tenderness of Meena Kumari, the royal feel of Raajkumar, everything about the movie spells epic to me... for quite a few people it is the foot fetish, inhe zameen pe mat rakhiye must be well etched in memory,  well for me too but I love it even more when she finds him accidentally after the elephant stampede in his tent, those haunting words in the letter she found in her feet, the author of the note with whom she fell in love with without seeing, the way she closes her eyes and waits for him, the inner feelings... just toooooooooo good and the songs are really really good too... the life of kothas, tawaaifs, gharaanas and all, well captured emotions and movie... loved it again


Jul 20, 2013

Predators..

The otherday, as we were waiting for the OA to get the trash and come to the car, a small bird fell down from the tree.  It was a tiny bird, just born or maybe a few days old, unable to fly, just hopping around, I was just watching it walk, showing the kid, the small tiny birdie and out of nowhere a cat comes, catches it, I try to stop it but it runs away and the bird is the cat's supper!!!!

It happened right in front of our eyes, the kid and me watching, screaming and being helpless..., showing the ways of world, giving the kid a live lesson as to what life and survival is all about, too many questions in the tiny mind, too many thoughts in the adult mind... what to say, what not to say... but I guess the kid has her own perspective of what and why and how and in days to come, her interpretation of the event will show itself...

the whole episode left me thinking....!!

Jul 17, 2013

Udaya Bhanu's Song - Touching...

Must say I admire this lady's guts, quite a few of the ladies that I know consider her cheap, vulgar, dressing and all that but somehow she comes across to me as a very very strong woman, most hardworking, humble individual.  There is some pain in those eyes, that understanding that comes with the pain when one goes through the roughest patches and that is what in her makes a complete person to me, that ability to really feel.

The other day when random you-tubing I found a song of hers, apparently sung in Rela Re Rela program and though I did not understand majority of it, kept me haunting, the guts to call a spade a spade, ripping apart the political facade, something really really raw in the expression and anger caught me off guard.. a haunting radical song after long..

I do not actually understand majority of the words used here, but get the feel and hence the gaps...
ganga garudaalettukelleraa... inka aamboletulaata saageraa..
endinaa dukkulla choodu,
ennadendani kannu choodu...
Bhoomi buggaipoye choodu
bondagoddala joru choodu
evvaaro muddu biddaluraa
endukano parugettinaarura..
....

raakaasi ballulantaa raajyamele raajulanta
raavanaasurulanta cheri rojukoka raccha bedite
panta cheeduni battupette purugu mandula vindulaaye..
.....

gaddekorake gaaddi kodukulu gaddara leperuraa
idi maareechulaatara nuvvu marmamerugara paamara
aadu testado, eedu testado, amma istado, ayya istatado, evvadicchedendiraa idi evvani jaageeruraa... neeku nuvve raajuraa ninneletodinkevaruraa..

Good job, Bhanu, I knew I was not wrong about you...






Jul 16, 2013

Ninna - Nedu - Repu

The other day I was watching our favorite Open Heart with RK, the guest being Vanisree... I remember my mom recalling her as a fashion icon of those days, jewels, sarees, hairstyles etc. named on her and all that and what I remember of her acting is the arrogance, different styling and sky-high wigs :-p

but what amazed me is the simple words in which she put the essence of life and optimism with so much of positivity...

Ninnati varuku antaa bagundi, ee roju kooda baagundi, repu inkaa chaala baaguntundi anukuntunnaanu... yes, if this is the way we look at things in and around us... will there ever be a problem?

Jul 15, 2013

The Peter Nightmare

There are quite a few things in US for which people from all over the world want to be here.  No matter how much denial there is about being discriminated on the basis of color, creed, race and nationality, it exists!

You will note the difference if you stay in the apartments especially.  I always turned a blind eye to it considering that we are here for our work, finish it and get going but of late, it is blown out of proportion right into my face and there is no way I ignore it.

Peter, the guy upstairs is a mess. He stays alone, has a recording studio so does no regular job which leaves him all the time with his Chihuahua, staring into the houses, complaining all time about every single thing in the apartment complex from dog poo to freeway littering to patio cleanliness to what not... well, that is one thing but the way he reacts when anyone complains on him is beyond annoying, stalking, staring, intrusion into privacy what not... damn!  and complain to the leasing office the lady there coolly says well, we have heard of quite a few patio issues, it must be one of yours too... what?!"#, why is he stomping all the time in the house... oh, does he?? why is he always peeking into the balcony stepping out of his way from the staircase... does he?? why is he taking pictures of my damn house?? oh.. i see, let me talk to him and then maybe I will have to move either one of you.... what the hell is this, you can show us a better apartment or whatever but why do I have to take the pains of moving just because he chooses to harass me day in and day out in subtle yet irritating ways, playing guitar and singing songs at 1 a.m., running around in the house around midnight and all that and why is it that he is not given that option when n number of other Indian residents complain about him and a couple even vacate... no we get to prove time and again, we get to get reprimands unnecessarily and then sorry for bothering notes.  We get a blind eye/ear to our complaints but keep getting the notes....

Well, we are definitely aliens in this nation coming here to make our money, apparently we are much worse when it comes to its people's opinion/treatment of us, sick and tired!!!!... 

Fishy....

George Zimmerman acquittal.... disturbing! I was convinced he was guilty, did not know about it until the past couple of days and now I guess I do not know any better. Unsure what it is that spells unfair about the whole thing!!!!! and in one way, in the crooked sense, I feel there is a justice served as well 'cos this guy gets to live a life always looking over his shoulder, disguised or hidden and it is never going to be the same again. Somehow I strongly feel for the kid, just the color, hoodie or whatever made the person to conclude him as threatening... all too unbelievable.

Jul 11, 2013

Heights...!

Well, I am not climbing anything nor am I jumping down any cliff/chopper etc. for the adrenalin rush... my twisted humor (nonexistent)... that is it.

The other day I was watching Law and Order, season 5 and in one episode found quite a few of Grey's anatomy stars in one particular episode... and then my love for GA returns and I go back to watching season 7, back from where I took the resolution not to see again.. though not back to back, my GA days are back and are here to stay for at least this season.

I feel like a hardcore alcoholic when it comes to Balika Vadhu and around 11 to 11:30 EST I am refreshing the apni.tv site to see the latest episode and my latest tension is that Saachi is going to marry Jagya, the sad phase of  Ganga, and the rest of the family, the plight of little Mannu and most importantly Aanandi.  I am getting all excited... phew, me and my serial addiction at its heights...

naaku picchi peak stagelo undoccchhh!

Tiny Reflections

Remember as kids the days when we would have thought a hundred times that when I become a parent this is not what I want for my kid (period) and also the endless dreams of how I would raise my kid, what I would say, what I would do, what I would teach, etc!!!

The reality is kids do not really get or become what we want them to be... they become what they reflect from us and from the surroundings that we put them in.  So no matter what we had been doing previously claiming to be better, it is high time we get our act right and practice without fail what we try to preach... wake up early, brush twice a day, swish and spit each time after a meal, bathe twice if possible after a hard-core playing/sweating session, no watching TV while eating, spend some me time, listen to them, be with them, stop yelling, the choice of words, the way we tackle situations day in and day out.. and in their own way they will imbibe good values, behavior, timing, sense of direction and purpose all in their due time without any special focus... SO GET THE ACT STRAIGHT, DO IT RIGHT!!!

The other day in craft classes, I see parents lifting things from the session to get things done at home... they were just picking up from the left-overs which is not okay per the store policy... the kids were like, we cannot take them home, we already got our craft to take home why this, and the moms were like, yes we can, we will do it again at home... WHAT will the kid infer?  what will they do in future... I am over-thinking but thinking the right way.. practice this and the kid does it in some other way and then no point blaming him... they do not know when to stop right!!!!!

Jul 6, 2013

Once up on a time

I used to feel that eating without doing anything is waste of life.. I think I saw that concept recently in some movie too, do not remember which one though...

If only I remember that and eat proportionate to what I do constructively, I would shed those extra kilos...

Jul 4, 2013

Anger, sorrow, vacuum!!!

Many things not happening... like me being disciplined, in track of things, meditating regularly, but then what is new, something really really upsetting and bothering, a virtual friend of mine is no more.. very young, a mom of a child, happy go lucky simple sweet girl.. she lost her health battle.. while here I am, fit and fine but losing faith on myself a little at a time, turning into a monster I hate, and mos importantly the rage bouts are back high time... thinking of one person triggers them the most but then why do I have to, why the hell does she have to scare me so much so that I lose every bit of my self restraint??

I hate people who act, who have this capability of making them look like victims and pointing at people like they are the torturers... damn!!! well that is how they live, full of selfishness, money mindedness, shamelessness.. but each time I think I have gotten over that hatred, I surprise myself... i want to give up, I think I have but no it is very much existent.. .sigh!!!

Once again, nothing really interests me... being with the kid soothes me, comforts me, but that part of paranoid mom, attending to each and every whim and fancy is not there, the one left is the one I am gradually finding it hard to relate to...

a way out, the key is within me but I dont want to find it... I get the motivation to do so but then after the initial interest I see no point and just let it be... that is not how it was just a while ago, the fighter, the survivor, the hardworker is no where in sight.. all that is left is this lazy grumpy floating fat lady just drifting along...

HIGH TIME!!!! to change....


Jul 1, 2013

Out of the blue

One fine day after too much of self neglect and addiction of a lot many things and a long vacation, life has come to a point where I have to wake up from the lazy slumber and get going...

Suddenly July comes and it dawns that this is the only month where the kid is actually free.. and in the second week of august, life begins for her in the real sense, school this that and all and it is going to be that way the rest of her life.  So, I actually want to reform myself to be able to be with her every single moment of it.

It is really tough to do that given that I have kind of detached myself from quite a few things related to her and considering that I am just coming out of my deep self-induced long pent-up coming out of depression mode, it is really really going to need a lot of effort from my end..

the kid is out for a swim and yes, day 1 has been good in a lot of ways... and here is for many more days to go!

I havent really realized how I missed being with my baby until I started doing it again!

For Evil Eyes on LO