There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Jan 31, 2014


The past few days, some things have hurt me beyond compare, some thing about people in my life, rather who used to be in my life.  A really close buddy, a shy guy with a dimpled smile, the one who I remember calling me Tuskee and tagging along every alternate day for a whole year until I found my friend gang who later turned out to be a teenage sensation, teenage heart-throb, love hero beyond compare, the gap filler after Sobhan and all those adjectives which made him from a common man to a star and those unimaginable peaks he attained, nothing sustained.

The free fall happened and it so happened that he could never recover... whatever the reason, the one thing that I really really admire about him is his immense control and the way he remained tight lipped on the Chiru daughter.  No matter what the issue was, what problem he faced, he never got it out in open though there were a lot of sympathizers for him, he never made a mess of it, just kept working on getting back which he unfortunately could not.

IF and IF there had been no Chiru, would he have sustained his stardom, I am not sure with the stories that he got later on, nothing could have saved those debacles.  Shelved projects, no idea but all in all blaming one family or a person for one's downfall is just not fair.  One should cope up with problems.  No one can make or break a person other than himself.

The point of the post or my grief is when people close to him say that his suicide was a shocker, I dont believe it.  We just never gave a thought to it but in his last days, whatever be the reason, he seemed so lost and sad.  His death like his life had been a mystery, he seemingly left no indication of what his problem was... maybe like he said in his own words... how many people should he convince and explain his point of view true..  in this mechanical world, no one has time for another person.

Hearing speculations about his death was painful... had that guilt feeling in the corner of having left him, not looking back.. surprisingly not even the curiosity of a star life or whatever nothing could bind us together, and we just drifted apart.  Seeing that kid lying lifelessly at NIMS or the body unclaimed, uncle being so nonchalant about it all, akka on her way home so many tensions, such an unexpected news and the travel from abroad and all her tensions and the time between his death and her arrival taught us a lot of lessons in life, bringing out so many emotional insecurities that me and my brother have, the lives that we lead away from each other, the uncertainity factor until we reach one another, the similarities if god forbid something should happen, hit me really really hard.

Those 2 days until he was put to rest, could not just sleep, remembering the time together and more than that the time after that where maybe he needed being in touch with real people and not from the reel world around him... and even today whenever I remember him it is deep pain and regret of not having been in touch...

picchi kopam chacchipoyaadu ani, taravaata jarigindi choosinappudu intakannaa daari ledu tanaki anipinchenta baadha... enduku chesadu ani tanani titto ledante atani moolaane ani Chiruni titto manaki aa abhaagyudi praanam tirigi raadu...

Cant really say will miss him as we hardly ever met any longer but the fact that he is not among us or not breathing the same air as we are and that we could not ever see even if we want to is hurting, beyond what words can express.

Movie Post

Uyyaala-Jampaala -
 Feels like a fresh breeze, sweet, innocent cute love story and natural performances by Raj Tharun and Avika, the story next door feel transporting us to a perfect world of make believe. Worth every penny.. watch it on releaseday.

 Emo Gurram Egaraa Vacchu -
 One more refreshing village and old world feel story, easy breezy simple watch... For the viewer to like the movie, there needs to be a rural connect to appreciate the feelings involved. I loved it, especially... "Bullabbaayiki salahaalivoddu...". Of course, what more can one expect from an ardent Sumanth admirer

 undoubtedly ahead of its times movie for the typical mass Telugu audience who actually buy a ticket and watch it but a truly credible and worthy attempt by Sukumar and Mahesh, one of its kind!!! Thoroughly enjoyed every bit of it even though it felt stretched at times. I am actually surprised as to why people say it is not understandable or confusing or both . It is just that it is not a routine fun watch.

Love You Bangaaram
A movie with a concept but overdose of sex and offensive content, well it might happen but looks like a complete c-grade movie or worse...reminded me of one more movie that I saw about Ameerpet hostels though I do not remember the name.

Must say Charan and Bunny always manage to get good story lines and music and one more thing is I like his voice for some reason, dialogue delivery is whole another thing though :-p.  Thoroughly enjoyed watching it.  Typical mass masala with interesting turns and twists.

A surprisingly gripping story of an interview within a closed group for a top position in a social service organization in which the finalists are locked in a room with a plain paper in which they are supposed to answer a question which is not known to them.. how they figure it out and who emerges the winner and what the human emotions revealed are during that phase forms the gist of it.  Loved it.

Jan 30, 2014

10 days after..

with yet another resolution of daily blogging gone for a toss... I am here, accomplishing a few things, not reaching a few goals.  We set up a routine for school and home, doing the writing assignments EVVERYY SINGGGLE DDAY!! well, that is how the LO starts cribbing the moment I say it is the assignment time.

Well, we have been consistently doing so, so as not to forget what we already know, the writing is improved a bit with the ruled paper but on a white paper it is still a liberal spreading of black pencil in vaguely recognizable shapes that we usually call alphabets :-p.

Teaching her to read on her own, phonics help a lot and also the super reader.. the OA has gotten some Bob's books on advise from his colleagues but I find the general talk and the Leapfrog Word Fridge Phonics doing a better job at it and also the Vocabulary Power Reading sight words stuff a lot more fun than the Dot, Mit, Sam, Mat Bob's books but they are good too, can take the turns and get them done, need to see what works out better for her... for now she is on a learning curve.

There are times when she brings out her rebellion streak and we let it go but with her still not getting into the school system and we not being able to afford private schooling in more ways than material as of now, what to do, need to put her through these learning sessions every single week day.

For someone who had been a total stranger in this part of the world, who hardly knew anything in English, who mugged up answers for What is Your Name, Where do You live and Where are You Going in that very order and any change in that order would throw her out to a person who hardly speaks our mother tongue, it has been an incredible journey for her.

Too many changes, too much of accommodations on her part, and then my failing health and my changing behavior and attitude towards life, must say she has been through a lot and the blessing she is, taken it all in her stride and moved on.  When people credit me for her good behavior and maturity levels and the person she is today, I am like what has been my contribution ever, I just lucked out on having her.  She is in that absorption phase and asking intelligent questions about anything and everything and actually soaking in the answers and replicating them properly in day to day life, making intelligent conservations and not just blabbering.  There are times I wish that I have a normal toddler with junglee ways and gay abandon of childhood than this tiny adult staring at me.  I want her to enjoy life as it comes, play and not worry and yet not lose the emotional connect to an adult.  I know I am expecting too much out of her and in her own way she has been exceeding every limit set (touchwood).

The schooling hunt, yet another one is going to be a major deciding factor for our next year stay, 4 schools, one of which I want her to get in badly because of its International Baccalaureate program, keeping my fingers crossed.  Lack of regular schooling in a way, it has been a blessing for her, the regular school grind that began at 7:40 to 3:30 was kind of too much for the tiny body another year of rest would not do any harm provided we channelize her energy in more constructive ways.

She loves painting, sketching, cleaning, jumping around and of course watching TV/ipad... My Little Pony and Jake and The Neverland pirates being the top favorites, followed closely by Super Why??  Thank God, she is not into the princess stuff yet... but yes, she is into the pink and purple mode already, nauseating to be surrounded by an overdose of these colors, but hey cant ask for more, I have seen worse addiction of kids where they actually emulate the princess they want to be..

Talking in Telugu, well getting to that is a point of another post which would kind of go on and on but yes, I will venture into it soon.

Eating, touchwood, we have come to an understanding that she needs to understand her growing nutrition needs and the need to feed herself and we are slowly getting there, though not all food groups she is slowly into drinking milk on her own (she needs to have a growth spurt and grow taller and stronger and healthier, something she learnt from her school or picked up somewhere), eating some fruits and nuts and egg with a little chicken here and there, so as long as she is not starving or having malnutrition issues, I am not really worried as to the small quantities she eats which might raise many an eyebrows of conservative feed the kid to her fullest type of parents.

Of late, I have noticed that I have become really content in my own world and skin thanking God for what I have and the journey of life that we have come this far.  A long and lengthy conversation with the brother makes me even more so.  Some things and events disturb me but all in all, I have become a lot more positive than earlier and the anger is just a fizz.. knock on the wood and a truly kalaa tika post I guess..

Jan 21, 2014


Of late, I have been neglecting my personal space and limiting myself to the microblogging in FB.  Here, I am semi anonymous wherein people get know the real me only after reading about me, those who take time to know me like me.. but there it is the people who know me, have an opinion on me, that follow me and happen to think i have loads and loads and loads of time to while away on Social networking literally doing nothing.  Well, it is not just them but I myself feel that some times...

a lot of things have been impacting me for a while but first things first, I am trying to turn modern or maybe get comfortable with my blown up body :-p and get into the much needed attire of the hour, the western wear not to stand out in the crowd that I happen to live with.

kid is growing up fast, some times surprising me beyond expectations, things are good on that front (touchwood).

Me and OA have come to a peaceful coexistence without huge wars, just a few tiffs and then forgetting that in a minute, so must say PEACE is prevailing in the house.

I have been thoroughly upset about certain things which I very much want to put on the blog, will need to do...

so personally I think my post a day resolution starts today, let us see how far it goes..

Jan 16, 2014

A Wonderful New Year

First and foremost wish you all a wonderful new year.  may this new year bring in lots of happiness and most importantly contentment in your life.

Too many changes, yes I have cut down on TV but not as desired or intended to but yes it is a work in progress.

It is my 10th year into blogging... phew, such a long bondage, it has been liberating experience and I wish I spend more time on this than before.  FB is just a waste of time, yes I said it, other than one group which i am hopelessly addicted to, I guess it can be scrapped completely :-p..

will be very regular.. i promise, promise... definitely not colgate (I know a PJ :-p)

For Evil Eyes on LO