There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Apr 4, 2016

D For Depression

This might be a depressing post from an individual who has been on the verge of a breakdown.  It is important to realize that depression is actually a problem that has to be addressed as a medical condition.  I have seen a couple of friends succumb to it, a few friends struggling with and myself on the verge of taking the medication with critical B12 count, the critical infection to go with, the seemingly unending rounds of tests going nowhere.

 One really good advice a friend who is to-date taking medication is never get on medication as the side effects are hopeless and it kind of becomes a zombied life once chemical take your body over and I totally agree to it.  Forcing myself out of the bed, to actually take a bath, eat something and move on with life, even a single movement was a struggle at days and what is the worst part of it is having a kid at home to take care of, to see it that none of this affects her.

A child who I have brought into this world, who meant everything to me, whose smile meant the world suddenly becomes a responsibility, a different entity than me, luckily she had been very cooperative and the situation did not get to a point where she became a burden but it was a pain to get myself to pull myself together, to put up an act that was well in front of her, hating myself for being like that... that was when Isha happened and it pulled me out of those depths, life fell back on track.  I would not say I am back to being my normal self but I was not in those blues where all I wanted to do was not get up in the morning or not go to sleep at night...

It is very dangerous if it goes undetected or overtreated.  We should have people who understand and want to make that effort.  It is a phase where nothing appeals to the person, one is at loss to understand what they want in life, what makes them go on, what should be done to pick up the strings and pull once up, the will to come out of it, the courage to let others know that it is how they feel, the inability to take those looks of pity or indifference or for that matter indifference of the person himself to everything in his/her life and herself too...

Being in good company, books, spiritual, the will to go on, the denial to give it up and of course something or someone above looking after you to come out helps.

The struggle is on, I am half way through to being myself but the other half is still a difficult path, need to work a bit harder but with the kid, her smile and her being the live example of "joy of being alive" helps a lot...

1 comment:

Deepa said...

Truly written from the heart and the fact that you acknowledge the sadness and the darkness is half the battle won. Hang in there and fight hard! We're all survivors of our battles. Good luck with the writing! You're doing well, stay strong!

Deepa’s Kaleidoscope

For Evil Eyes on LO